LDR-Long Distance Relationships

Marie meets Computer

I discovered the WWW in the year 2000. I never used a computer nor did I even touch a computer before. The person whom helped my daughter and myself after a hard end of a marriage introduced me to his Gateway Desktop in his home where I was living.

He used it mainly for searches on farm equipment because he had a dream to own a house on a 200 acre land. He favored Hit-N-Mis engines, trackors, antiques, and old cars. He told me that I should try getting on the PC because I would like it. I told him that it was not my thing.

One day I decided to try this out, knowing that I would get bored quickly. I started by playing games and than I discovered the Internet. Eventually I was lost in the World Wide Web.

I went into yahoo chat rooms and found forums. I found Delphi which is a site that runs on forums which was free at the time. I got into HTML formatting and graphic designing. I loved it. I than found people from all over the states and a few in other countries.

I found myself hosting 2 live forums. One for crafts, recipes, tips and helpful hints. The other was an adult playground with limitations.

Over the months I became popular and addicted. I lived on that computer. I read on many things and was able to talk to people that would listen.

An Aussie

One person whom I met was Aaron. I began chatting with him in a yahoo room. This room no longer is availible but I miss it. It was fun flirting, jokes, games, and singing.

I would feel that tingle feeling every time I’d hear his voice. I loved when he song! We started chatting one on one and found that we had plenty in common. As we chatted, we had on a cam because he loved seeing me. We also found that we were in love with each other. BUT! BUT HOW COULD THESE FEELINGS BE REAL? We asked ourselves this over and over without saying anything to eachother.

How could you miss a person that you have never seen in person? I did not know if he had bad foot odor or bad breath. He did not know if I snored or hogged all the covers in my sleep.

It became hard to leave that computer screen because we did not want to leave each other. One night we finally confessed. He realized why I turned off the cam. It was because my eyes would fill with tears as we said our goodbyes. Which wasn’t as often as most. The time zone difference worked out great until I began to live as if I was in his time zone. We slept when the other went to work.

We did not just talk on the computer, we spoke for hours on the phone. I sought out cheap rates on calling cards. This became so real that I told my family and friends about us.

For one year, 16-18 hours a day, seven days a week, we were chatting, talking, and writing songs and poems. We spoke of everything, the weather, our time at work. He was in my daughter’s life as well as mine. We spoke of each others dreams, good and bad. Everything that has happen to us throughout our lives. We knew each others family members and friends by their names.

OK! This is crazy! We both said. We cry when we have to leave and we dream of each other. We became so close that we knew how the other thought, smelled, and even felt the others touch.

The Trip

We both knew that we had to figure out how to be together no matter what or how. We just knew it had to happen. This relationship has been going on for a whole year. We desired each others touch. It was a need. We had done all the foreplay that we could handle before exploding.

On June 22, 2002 my daughter and I arrived at the airport in Sydney, Australia. We had three huge suitcases and one shoulder bag each. We filled them with everything that we owned. We did not plan on returning to the states for a long time.

From Philadelphia International Airport to LAX (10 hour overlay), to Sydney (14 hour flight), to Coolangatta. I was not scared, just tried because I am a person that cannot sleep in just anything or anywhere. At first I was numb.

I seen Aaron in the middle of the airport and it was 6am in Oz. I was cold, tired, and hungry and seriously in need of a cigarette and a hot bath.

This is a beautiful country, my daughter and I both thought. We went to his sister’s house where he lived until it was check-in time.

I laid on the sofa and he laid on top of me to give me a hug. We kissed and forgot that we were in a living room. NO! Clothing never was removed. We wound up falling asleep for a bit. It was like we have alway known eachother.

When we got to our hotel, my bed was full of red rose peddles in a heart shape. Wine in the fridge and snacks to go with the wine.

End Result

My daughter and I wound up staying in Oz past our visa date which was a 90 day visa.

We went to Seaworld, a local zoo =, and of coarse to the beach. The shopping mall is very diferant from what we are use to but simular to the one I visit in Puerto Rico.

Aaron and I got a tattoo on our upper arm. I drew the design which is a heart with Eternal Soul Mates written on the inside, with a king’s crown and two swords going through. Our names on each side.

We managed to get back to the states without reportation. All three of us cried as my daughter and I sat in the taxi. It was so weird being back home after pretty much living in another world.

I tried to continue with my life as before our trip but found it impossible. I felt that a part of me was ripped away from me. We eventually drifted away because one gave up the hope of ever being together again. We could not deal with this pain again.

I still feel like a part of me is gone, even after six years of not even hearing the sound of his voice.

Update - 5-2010

We found each other on facebook recently and he precents an attitude toward me because he feels that I left him. We cannot even be friends.

The fact of us did give him hope to love and he found someone. It feels as if he is afraid to be my friend.

Comments 6 comments

Chef Jeff profile image

Chef Jeff 8 years ago from Universe, Milky Way, Outer Arm, Sol, Earth, Western Hemisphere, North America, Illinois, Chicago.

It is the nature of all things to change. We all undergo change, and in the matter of how we communicate, change is occurring right now.

When was it that people could begin to communicate as we are right now - via computer, via Hubs? When my son was born in 1984 most people had little idea of how their lives would change thorugh the introduction of the Internet.

Now we wonder if a major chapter in human awareness is already here. We can talk, literally as if face-to-face, with people thousands of miles away, instantaneously.

I think it's great, but it also carried a lot of responsibilities, some of which seem to have escaped a few. How many times have we received emails, seeingly truthful, that are total fabrications, lies made up to help or hurt someone?

There is great power in how we communicate, there is also the ability to create terrible harm, but there is also the ability to create great love and togetherness. I like how you wrote your hub, because whether or not you meant to give this feeling, you remind us that communication is a sacred thing, something to be treasured, and used for good, not to hurt others. Thank you and I hope you get a million favorable responses!


bettiegurrl profile image

bettiegurrl 8 years ago from Portland, Or

Wow. What a story. I was kind of expecting it to turn out that way but I kind of hoped it wouldnt. I married someone I met online. Then I divorced him, many years later. People arent all they make themselves out to be online. I think if you just live your life and go about your business, good things will come. Love never happens when youre expecting it. :)


Scent profile image

Scent 8 years ago from Berwick, PA Author

Hello Bettie. Thank you for your comment. Sometimes you have to settle for such as my present husband. I feel as if I am living with a brother alot of the time because of the way he is. He loves me to death and I could never love him as much as he does me. He knows that and excepts me as I am. He also knows that I am loyal and will not cheat on him. I doult if I could fall "in love" again. I had the chance twice and that is more than many.

Marie


christinekv profile image

christinekv 8 years ago from Washington

Wow Scent - what a story and I'm sad it didn't have a happy ending.

I can relate to how you describe your attitude toward the internet and how it changed, but I was married already when I took my first step toward discovering it.

I hope things improve in your existing relationship...that you will find love and passion for the husband you have now. Sometiimes it takes us making moves towards directions we really don't want to go and supernaturally, things improve as a result of doing/saying not what we feel like, but what we know we should. Of course has to want things to be better or else it's dishonest. Have the two of you discovered one anothers love language(s)?

Blessedmommy has a hub w/ some really good ideas on a hundred or more ways to say "I love You" to your spouse.


michelle 6 years ago

Omg I cryed at the end of this story. Was there a reason you could not marry and get a spousal visa?...I am talking with an Aussie man too. We been talking for a year and a half and I think hes getting bored of me or being real distant but I asked him if its me or if he is bored or what? He double reassures me that its not me at all...I think he gets depressed cause its taking forever to be able to meet in rl...I wish sometimes I wlda never fell in love online.We play a game called second life and that seems to be our avenue of communication.


Scent profile image

Scent 6 years ago from Berwick, PA Author

Hello Michelle...

LDR's is one of the most hardest things to deal with because it creates many different moods, emotions, and thoughts.

He did not earn enough to be my sponsor and I had my daughter as well. We spoke after my return but it was different for us. It would have not been right for me to be the one sacrificing everything and anything. I was caught up in that though. It takes 2 to continue an LDS because you need each other for everything.

We had many quiet times, its because the only thing we wanted was to touch. And sometimes you cannot ignore what you want.

I am presently in an LDR, I knew him for 20 years but we never been together. I once judged a book by its cover and I am sorry that I did. You can email me if you need someone to talk.

scentofmarie@gmail.com

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