Breaking Up



When you find yourself in a relationship that's either run its course, or it hasn't gotten off to a good start you have to get out. There could be any number of reasons that you know you need to do something. It could be that you feel used after a long time of hanging out with this person. Maybe you just aren't having fun anymore.

So, you've decided that it's time. Now you have to come up with some sort of plan. It is best to have an idea of how you're going to accomplish your goal. First of all, it's best to make it easy on yourself when it comes to actually making the break. On one hand you need to tell the person that you no longer want to continue the relationship. On the other you have to separate yourself physically. The minute you have an idea that this may not quite be the situation for you, you've got to start collecting your belongings. If you just go over and start taking things out the person will have the notion that you're about to do something. If you don't want this to happen you're going to have to get your stuff out little by little. If it's a matter of some electronic equipment and a set of golf clubs you'll be able to collect these things gradually before you say anything. If it's a time share somewhere, or other investments it might be a little bit harder to separate things. If it comes down to it just sell. Find a reason and sell.

Once you secure your things you've got to say something.The old way to let someone down easy was to say that "it's not you, it's me." Even though it's stale there is some point in saying something like this. Basically, you want to convey that the problem lies on your side of the fence so that the person doesn't feel they're being put down. You know, you want to leave them feeling at least okay about themselves. If that's at all possible.So, how are you going to do this, and when? Should you meet at a restaurant? Do you want to do this at your house and make the person leave afterward? It seems meeting the person would be the easiest.

When you're face to face with someone in this situation it becomes overwhelming. The best thing to do is get right to the point. You can be as nice as you can, or you can be very quick about it. You know they're not going to like anything you say so just go for it.

Hear are some things you might say when you're breaking up:

  • I can't make the changes you want me to make right now.
  • I need to be by myself.
  • I need to concentrate on work.
  • I need to concentrate on school
  • I need to concentrate on the kids.
  • I don't agree with your politics.
  • I don't like who you've become.
  • I can't see myself with you forever.
  • I don't trust you.
  • I can't live without sex.
  • I'm getting back with my ex.

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4 comments

peachpurple profile image

peachpurple 19 months ago from Home Sweet Home

breaking up is the saddest thing than losing a job, something cracks inside your heart


lisasuniquevoice profile image

lisasuniquevoice 19 months ago from Michigan Author

Thanks for your comment. Breaking up is definitely a life changing event.

Lisa


dashingscorpio profile image

dashingscorpio 19 months ago

Voted up and useful!

Lets face it when it comes to relationships most of us fail our way to success. If this were not true we'd all be married to our high school sweethearts!

I always advice people to think, plan, and execute when it comes to breakups. You really have to (know) you're done. I completely agree with you regarding getting all of your personal things.

I also suggest (if you feel safe enough) to end it at their place. That way you don't have to deal with trying to get them to leave your house or if you were someplace else (they won't have get behind the wheel) upon hearing your shocking announcement.

My favorite line you wrote is "I can't see myself with you forever."

Isn't that what every breakup boils down to? If you thought they were "the one" you wouldn't be breaking up with them!

Beware of those who insist upon getting reasons that have to do with them. They're just trying to bargain with you by promising to change into whatever you say you want from a mate.

If either person has to change their core being to make the other happy that's a sign that they are with the wrong person.

The goal is to find someone who (already is) the kind of person you want to be with! One man's opinion! :)


lisasuniquevoice profile image

lisasuniquevoice 19 months ago from Michigan Author

dashingscorpio,

I do like the idea of ending a relationship at their place. That would make it easy to walk away the moment you couldn't take it any longer. Let's face it, it is a very hard thing to do.

Thanks so much,

Lisa

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