Life after the "D" word


To live again

Two years ago this month (January 2013), the life I was living came to an end.
I will not give details, but the words that many people hear, and live became a reality for me. I The word DIVORCE became a part of my life.
I knew for about a year before it became a reality that it would happen, the signs were there. Again, I will not go into detail, It quite frankly doesn’t matter.
So I knew for at least a year before, but when it happened, I nevertheless was in shock.
It is strange how one can know, but when it happens, a person can still be in shock...and yet at peace with it at the same time.
We were together for 22 years and neither of us were truly happy, we were just going through the motions.We have three children, (Two adult and one younger at this point) who live with me.
One thing I will add is that we decided to separate and divorce without getting lawyers involved. We picked up the separation agreement and divorce papers from our local courthouse, we filled them out ourselves and filed. It saved us a lot of money and further hardships and possibly heartache.
After she moved out, I reconnected with an ex girlfriend from my past. I flew out to see her and many other old friends and stayed there for nine days. I needed to go away to think things through.
However, once I got home I made a decision to stay single and raise my youngest; and just focus on him.
Now two years later I am still doing this, and working on my 'bucket list'. I am happy, life is going tremendously well, a lot better than I could have imagined.
I am living life the way I want to live it, and my three sons are happier as well, they could see that we were not happy in our marriage anymore as well.
I have learned that life does go on after divorce, one must chose to live and be happy.
I encourage everyone to do what is right for them, maybe it also is to make a list of things you have always wanted to do...and do them.
The key is not to focus on being with someone, but instead, focus on yourself (and children if you have them) and everything else WILL fall into place.
Also surround yourself with positive people, and refrain from speaking badly about your ex and stop your friends and family from doing the same. You are better than that.
Remember, negative thoughts, actions and words breeds a negative life. A positive attitude makes for a positive life.

When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile.
~ Unknown

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Comments 4 comments

thomasczech profile image

thomasczech 3 years ago from Canada Author

Thank you, it is important to have a focus, especially after divorce. Otherwise, how can we heal and be happy?

epbooks profile image

epbooks 3 years ago from Las Vegas, NV

Great advice and glad that you are working through your bucket list. So important!

thomasczech profile image

thomasczech 4 years ago from Canada Author

When all this happened, I admit, I questioned why it was happening. I dd keep my focus on Christ and I did struggle. But through it all, I kept my focus on Him.

Thank you for your comment. HIS will, will be done. God Bless you.

Faithful Daughter profile image

Faithful Daughter 4 years ago from Sunny Florida

Good advice to those going through the same situation. I feel you did the right thing in staying single (for now) and focusing on your children. Sometimes we need a break from the emotional attachments we create to clear our heads, mend our hearts, and do the things that make us happy. I pray the Lord's will for you in your life.

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