Lingerie As A Weapon | An Article For Men Who Wear Lingerie
Arrghh.. I'll show your panties to the world!
One of my regular readers and commenters recently told the story of how his wife accepted his lingerie wearing, but would occasionally use it as a weapon against him, even going so far as to tip out his lingerie in the middle of the lounge room in front of his family. My gut reaction was to suggest finding a mate with a little less vindictiveness inherent in her personality, but you can't always just dump someone because they have a couple of bad points.
His story is one that is no doubt common to many relationships. Women who know that their husband or boyfriend wears lingerie may occasionally think that it is a good idea to use it as a bargaining chip, holding the knowledge above his head, controlling him with threats of revealing the information to friends, family, even co-workers.
Now assuming you want to stay with that sort of woman, there's only one thing you can do to stymie her machinations - get there first. Tell your friends, tell your family. No need to have a big coming out ceremony or anything, you can tell your friends over beers, and you can mention it causally in an appropriate conversation with family. You might want to keep it out of the work sphere however, depending on where you work.
Removing the ammunition removes the threat of blackmail. Unfortunately it may also send your charming little piece of work off on a frenzied search for more information she can use against you in a passive aggressive fit of rage. So perhaps it might be better to not let her know you already told all your friends and let her think she has something on you. Or it might be better to find someone who doesn't view a relationship as a strategy battle game.
Alternatively, some might advise using her dark little secrets right back at her, but that would be sinking to her level and you're a better person than that. You're also more inventive, aren't you? If you really must play her little game, try to do it with some style. You could hide your lingerie stash in a new place, and perhaps leave a trail of clues for her to find next time she decides to trot it out at dinner time. It's only sporting to leave clues, and if the clue trail happens to leave your house, carry on down the road and end in Splitsville, well, I suppose that's just how the game goes. Remember, ever game has a loser. Sometimes two losers.
But seriously. A person who uses your intimate secrets against you, be they male or female, is not a healthy life mate. If you've already been married for twenty years and are a strong believer in the 't'ill death do us part' thing, then I can respect that, but if you're in any position to end a relationship gracefully before your favorite panties end up on a billboard because you didn't get her the right Hybrid car for her birthday, then I say do so.
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