Loneliness -The Curse

Loneliness

“The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved” - Mother Theresa

The room is filled with persons chattering all around you. Some may even try to engage you in conversation and you reluctantly take part. You laugh at a joke or two and pretend that you are okay, yet you feel as if you are alone on a deserted island. Or, it is nighttime, you are tired after a long day’s work. You want to go to bed, but you are afraid to, as you fear going into that big empty bed alone, because you know it will be as usual - just another long and lonely night, no one to hold or make love to you. Sigh!

Loneliness is a feeling that a lot of us have experienced at some point in time. We have friends and family members around us, but there is that empty feeling that only a special person can fill. It is like a deep searing ache deep down inside that at times causes some to people to cry, get depressed or sadly, seek solace in alcohol, drugs or commit suicide.

So really, what is loneliness? Is it a feeling? A condition?

Loneliness is an overwhelming unbearable feeling of emptiness and separateness. It is an emotional discomfort or distress which makes a person sad. It makes us feel isolated and deprived of love. According to the psychologists, when one is lonely and his need for social relationships is not met, he falls apart mentally and even physically.

Is there a cure for loneliness?

The psychologists will tell you that to cure your loneliness you will need to:

· Improve your social skills, as loneliness is primarily the result of lacking of the interpersonal skills required to create and maintain relationships.

· Increase opportunities for social interaction i.e. go out and meet people

· Keep busy by getting up and going out somewhere where there are a lot of people. Or join a club, volunteer at a non-profit organization, or take up a hobby that requires mental concentration.

Do you agree with the psychologists? I do agree that one should go out a meet people, with the hope of finding someone. I believe that the best cure for loneliness is to find love, that is, someone who you love and who loves you back. Someone who will be there with and for you. As I said before, being around one million people, or having three jobs will not cure that ache – loneliness!

So, what are you going to do about your loneliness? Sit there feeling sorry for yourself? Or take action? If you refuse to act, there is the danger of prolonging your loneliness and you will feel trapped and helpless and there is a chance that you may slip into depression. So get up, go out and find yourself someone to help rid you of your loneliness. Be careful though, you do not want to just pick up any available person, but choose carefully, become friends first , get to know the person before taking “that big step.”

Good luck!

Loneliness is darkness
A never-ending night.
Even though the black won't go away,
You'll never fall asleep.

Because loneliness sparks a fear
And unlike other nightmares
Awakening will not vanish it;
For the darkness is too strong
To allow any rest.

It makes memories into ghosts
And dreams into spirits.
Too vague to remember
Too important to forget.

By K.L

Comments 30 comments

ZOOSMC profile image

ZOOSMC 5 years ago

I agree with the fact that you need to get out and meet people and try to get involved to help avoid loneliness. Also , as stated it cant be just anybody...you need to get to know the person first.

Good useful advice!


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

ZOOSMC, thank you for being the first to visit my hub and thanks for your comments. I will be following you.


vocalcoach profile image

vocalcoach 5 years ago from Nashville Tn.

There is, of course, a difference between loneliness and being alone. You have given good advice for loneliness. I will be following you! :)vocalcoach


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Thank you vocalcoach. Yes there is is a difference between loneliness and being alone - the latter is usually by choice or just not having someone around at certain times.


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 5 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

I was lonely all my life until I met Jesus. Now I know He is with me though everyone else deserts me. I hope your Hub helps some lonely people find solace.


Brinafr3sh profile image

Brinafr3sh 5 years ago from West Coast, United States

Lonely could be a curse to some individuals. But to some others, NOT, I can speak for myself, loneliness would be no more drama and jealousy. Thanks Dr.Ope :)


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Hyphenbird, thanks for your visit. I am glad that you have met Jesus and so you are not lonely anymore. All the best to you.


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Hi Jan di. Thank you for your comments. As I said in my hub, sometimes, having a lot of friends and people around you will not cure the loneliness - if that loneliness is borne of not having a companion. Only "that special" person can ease that kind of loneliness. All the best, and still looking forward to your first hub.


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Brinafr3sh, thanks for your comments. All the best.


MAD2011 profile image

MAD2011 5 years ago from Kingston, Jamaica

Another useful Hub that I am sure will help a lot of persons who may be experiencing this feeling. I also feel that loneliness, for some persons is a lack of confidence and belief in themselves. These persons may feel self doubt, have low self esteem and depend on the validation by someone else to feel good about themselves. A lot of people are attracted to confidence so it is important for these people to first be happy with themselves and they may find that they start attracting more people who love them for who they are.


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Thanks for visiting MAD2011. I do agree with you. Though sometimes some persons lack self confidence because, maybe when they were younger or in a past relationship, they were 'fed' with negative words that they somehow have come to believe and thus need or depend on validation from someone to enable them to feel good,wanted or loved.


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Thank you jan di. Glad that you have found someone, who helped you to forget your sadness. Good luck.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 5 years ago from Southern California

Very nice article. Another suggestion for loneliness is to go out and help others less fortunate than you, do this on a regular basis. Doing this gives you purpose in life, and something to look forward to. Again very good hub Dr.Ope, voted up/useful!


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Thank you for stopping by fastfreta. Yes, I do volunteer sometimes when I have the time.


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Dr Ope~~ Your topics are always so interesting and the comments are so awesome as well... I very much agree that we have the ability to find our own "self"- happiness... by doing good for others and for ourselves... and sometimes, when we least expect it, our soulmate will come along... but how right you are, "friends first"... to see if it is a "keeper relationship"... for no one can ever solely make us truly happy but ourselves and our faith, deep within.

Voted UP, AWESOME & BEAUTIFUL~~ like you... thank you.


kashmir56 profile image

kashmir56 5 years ago from Massachusetts

Dr.Ope, a very interesting topic and so well written . Sometimes it is good just to be alone by yourself, but i have never known the feeling of loneliness because i have many good friends i see everyday .


Maria Cecilia profile image

Maria Cecilia 5 years ago from Philippines

This is something to think about, though not having someone in my life is not really making me feel sad... maybe because there is no one I really like adn I think it's a different feeling if you are longing for that particular someone...but I am happy because I am enjoying my freedom, I guess one who does not have someone must try to seek happiness that coming from within her, not from another person... by the way, my life is happier because of my dogs.


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Hi Maria. I am happy to know that you are happy and enjoying your freedom. Thank you for your visit and all the best.


4seazons profile image

4seazons 5 years ago from Queens

My relationship with God has been a tremendous source of comfort and encouragement during the time that I have been single. I am blessed to have friends and activities to help, and, admittedly, at times they do not seem to be enough. My daughter is home at 23 yrs. but has her own life and friends...times alone are pleasurable because I like quiet, but then fleetingly, loneliness comes in. I am, however, secure in myself and don't need someone to feel whole or useful. I do, however, want a mate and I am waiting. Thank you Dr. Ope for your Hub...I counsel young single women and it is helpful that they could be referred to this article for more insight. For those who would look for an answer from the Bible, Hebrews 13:5a says "I will never leave thee nor forsake thee." We are NEVER alone.


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Thank you 4seazons for your inspiring words and your Bible reference. I do hope that you will find a mate some day. All the best.


CARTER32071 profile image

CARTER32071 5 years ago

Great hub Dr.Ope. I think everyone has felt some form of loneliness at a point in their life, it's all in how we deal with it. I have always felt that I can either be my own worst enemy or my best friend, but I must always try and never give up, stay positive and search for my inspiration. Thanks for sharing

X CARTER


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Thanks for your visit CARTER32071. I do agree with you, we must choose whether we want to be our worst enemy or friend. All the best!


Richawriter profile image

Richawriter 5 years ago from On Top of the World

Nice read Dr.Ope. Loneliness will indeed be cured by finding a love that will make you feel special and needed. I also think, and know through my own experience, that we must also learn to love ourselves and this in fact may be even more important than finding another to love us.

When you love yourself, you are not alone, you are one with yourself and go out searching for another to share your great self with, then LOVE with another becomes something magical, much like a supernova!

Take care Dr.Ope. :) Rich


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Hi Rich. Yes, I do agree with you, the only cure for loneliness is finding that special person who loves you unconditionally, but first self-love is important. Thanks for the visit and I will return the favour soon.


SpiffyD profile image

SpiffyD 5 years ago from The Caribbean

The quote at the start of the hub is poignant, but imagine what it feels like to be lonely when you have people around you. Perceived isolation goes deeper and is normally couple with the feeling of being misunderstood.


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Thank you for your comments and visit SpiffyD! All the best to you.


crystolite profile image

crystolite 5 years ago from Houston TX

Thanks a lot for your interesting hub, I used to be very lonely and the feeling was horrible. I believe that sometimes loneliness can arise due to ones past experiences, and if one doesn't get up and do something about it, then one sinks deeper into depression which might lead to something fatal.


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Thank you for your visit crystolite. I do agree with you. I am happy that you have got over your loneliness. All the best.


TheHonestAnswer 22 months ago

Well there are many of us Good men out there that are Hoping to meet a Good woman to spend the Rest of our life with, and Loneliness really sucks for us which i am sure many of you will agree with me. Cancer kills quicker, but Loneliness is a very slow and painful death which i will never even wish it on my Worst enemy.


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 22 months ago Author

Thank you for reading my hub TheHonestAnswer. I do agree that loneliness is worse than cancer. I hope that you will meet your soulmate soon. All the best.

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