DESTROY Your Shyness With Women Forever!

Approach Anxiety Secret: Overcome Your Shyness With Women

Typical Approach Anxiety:

As soon as you see the girl at the book store magazine section looking at Vogue magazine, you think she has the prettiest face you've ever seen. Her hair is dirty blonde. Her skin looks incredibly bright & super soft. Believe me, any guy would be on top of the world if he could get this girl. You think about approaching her.

But then you notice that fear deep down in your stomach.

U realize that even if you had balls and approached the girl, you wouldn't have a clue what to say to the her. You feel so nervous and dumb that even you would totally shoot yourself down if you were the girl. Because of this, you get so shy and don't even go up to her to say hi, you just walk away.

Does this situation sound remotely familiar to you? I thought so. This is called approach anxiety. You're gonna wanna read the rest of this lesson.

The 1st thing for you to realize is that every guy gets approach anxiety from approaching girls. I know I for sure do and always have.

But what separates you (and I) from the rest of the dudes is...........

What You Do About Your Fear.

Most men let fear paralyze them... not just about hot girls, but about other things in their life like their job... which is why, unfortunately, most men will never EVER find the success that they want so bad.

1st, take a look at where your fear comes from. The problem is inside of you. It's not with the girls.

If you are thinking about getting rejected, then that means you are making your approaches with a certain outcome in mind (I'm just speculating, but I believe if you're like most men, your ultimate goal is getting hot girls attracted to you so that you can get them back to your place :)

Try this technique instead..... approach her without having any expectations.

I'm gonna tell you about a problem I used to have. I'm kind of an introvert.

So to conquer my shyness, I would literally force myself to talk to everybody, no matter who they were...... hot chicks, fat chicks, ugly chicks, old women, men, little kids, random people walking dogs, etc etc.

I chatted about neutral topics with everyone, nothing at all to do with picking up girls.

The end result from all of that was I became super excellent at approaching people.

But after that, I made a big mistake. I said to myself, "Because I'm so awesome at approaching people and have become a social guy, why am I wasting time chatting to anyone other than hot girls?"

Because of this, I limited the people I talked to... and my fear about chatting to random girls came over me once again. It was as if I'd never had all that practice talking up random people in the 1st place.  I didn't overcome my approach anxiety.

I finally realized it was because I was outcome-dependent. Because I had ideas like "I'm going to try to sleep with this girl" in my head..... before I'd even open my mouth to say "hello".... and so I would crash and burn. It was terrible.

This is something I want you to try out. Whenever you go out, talk to 3 people, but do it just for practice. Don't do it for real.

Because it's just for practice, don't limit yourself to just talking to hot girls. In general, I've found that old people (both men and women) and fat girls are easy to talk to.

Set up a time limit for your practice interactions, for instance, you'll talk to the person for thirty seconds and then you'll leave the conversation. (Say something like, "Hey, I'm on my way to meeting a buddy. Good talking with u." And then leave without making a big deal of it.)

Once you've done your practices and feel pretty good, then you can go for hot girls. Make sure to do it without having any type of sex-related outcome in mind. For example, if a hot girl passes by you on a walkway, just say, "Hi, I need a super quick female opinion on something." (Then ask about something that u really want a female opinion on.)

Follwo this pua Rule: have no outcome in mind when you are approaching women. Then it won't matter if the girl responds rudely.

Once you reach a point where you've talked to lots of women, you'll find that eventually rude replys mean absolutely nothing. You'll have an attitude of "ha, how original... I've had tons of girls give me that exact same 'clever' rude reply."

I've been rejected tremendously, over and over again. One girl yelled "Beat It!" at me before I could even get out my first sentence.

Now I just look back on all of that and chuckle.

The point is that the more you approach women, the more you'll reach a level where you notice that most people act in the same, predictable ways. It will literally start to bore you rather than cause you fear, panic or approach anxiety.

Just think of it as trying to build a big house. First you put down one brick at a time and then cement it. Brick, cement. Brick, cement. It takes a bit of time, but eventually, the walls will be up (which means you've finished the hard part).

To get a bit more psychological, there's really no such thing as "being nervous." You don't "get nervous," like it's some kind of virus or cancer that invades your body.

All the feelings of nervousness come from within you. U have a certain thought processes that you go through. You talk to yourself. (When you think thoughts like, "I would reject myself," it sets you up to fail!) You picture the girls rejecting you. You feel tense in your body when you approach a woman.

How do you stop this thinking? Identify it for what it is.

Notice your negative thoughts and change them. Instead of thinking, "Oh oh, this girl is going to act like a bitch to me because I don't have the perfect thing to say"... think, "I'm glad that I'm making this approach, because if this girl rejects me, that means I've gotten her out of the way and I'm one step closer to becoming super good with women and finding the girl of my dreams."

Notice where you feel tight in your body, and then let ur muscles totally relax in those areas. I feel tight in my jaw and face when I'm nervous. So when I relax my jaw and facial muscles, it fixes a lot of that tension.

We'll end the lesson with this advice:

A) Be social for the sake of being social. Nothing else.

B) Remember that the only way to get over your fear of approaching women is by doing the thing you fear. The more often you do it, the simpler it gets, because your attitude about the experiences will become, "Been there, done that, it's no big deal."

C) Recognize your bad thoughts and force yourself to replace them with good ones.

D) Relax the physical tension you have in your body when you feel nervous before approaching a girl.

E) Check out the website below for a complete system.

Comments 3 comments

Tom Cornett profile image

Tom Cornett 7 years ago from Ohio

Good hub...like stage fright! :)


Approach Anxiety Coach 6 years ago

This has some excellent techniques for destroying your approach anxiety. Check out my website if you want more:

www.destroyapproachanxiety.com


jaysamuelli profile image

jaysamuelli 3 years ago from NYC

thanks for the great hub - I have suffered from approach anxiety before

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