How to Meet the Right Girl
How to meet the right girl
Arguably, the hardest part of dating or getting married is how to meet the right girl.
There are many questions like:
- Where do you find the girls?
- What do you say to them?
- How do you get them to like you?
- And how do you know if they're liking you or not?
Love Doesn't Happen Like The Movies
I'd like to dispel the teen movie fantasy of getting the drop dead gorgeous girl who loves all of the football players to fall madly in love with you. This is a semi-romantic thought, but it is terribly convoluted.
While you may find her attractive, and maybe even like her personality, love is a two way road. I'm not suggesting to give up, but be true to yourself - Do you really like her personality or are you blinded by her appearance?
Finding the Right Girl with Personality
I wouldn't like a girl who blew me off out of arrogance because I tried to talk to her. To me, it screams bad personality. The reason I warn you of this trap is because there are absolutely wonderful possibilities right around the corner that you don't realize because you're too busy romanticizing a bad situation.
Now, the rest of this is going to sound pretty scientific, but the truth is love just happens. I doubt you'll sit down, write out your perfect girl, find her, compare her to your list, and then marry her. What I'm writing is to help give you direction.
Determine the kind of girl you want:
Do opposites attract?
People say opposites attract, but I can assure you that opposition will be the downfall of a relationship if not handled correctly.
This is why I suggest you do a fine self-assessment to determine what kind of girl would suit your personality. I'm a huge fan of jokes and humor, and my wife is quite humorous.
It makes for a wonderful mix. Before you go out "girl hunting" you should determine the kind of girl you need because that will help you to determine where to start searching.
If you want a funny girl that takes few things seriously then I wouldn't necessarily suggest hanging around the local law offices. Not to say that some those women will not have a sense of humor, but your chances are lessened.
Where do I meet the right girl?
Bars and dance clubs: these are the first things guys think of when going girl hunting. While I won't deny that many men and women have met at these establishments, they really add a lot of undue pressure.
One of the pressures is what do you say? You have one opportunity to say the right thing.
- Should it be a compliment?
- Should it be a joke?
- Should you just do the normal introduction?
You know almost nothing about this girl and that makes it difficult to know what to do.
What kind of girl do you want?
Once you know this, it will help you to know where to go. If you're vehemently against drinking, then you shouldn't hit up the bar, and if you have two left feet, you shouldn't go to the club either. Do you want an energetic girl, what about a gym, or the local jog path?
No clubs if you dance like this
How do I approach a girl I like?
Be in a comfortable environment
If you're in a comfortable environment, then you are a lot less likely to be socially awkward. Don't be the guy in the club walking up to girls while "stirring the pot". And don't dance like the gut in the video to the right.
This is why I discourage the bar and club ideas, there's too much expectation being placed, and you can't be calm, cool and natural in a place that is alien to you.
Should I use a pickup line?
For the actual approach I suggest a very ordinary introduction including your name. This will say a lot and you'll be able to feel out the situation.
What does a simple intro say to her? Firstly, it identifies you. This is important in a world where women are often victimized. It tells her you're not necessarily creepy and intending harm. It also establishes a personal communication.
A girl can easily turn down a pickup line, but girls are less likely to walk away laughing when you start with a simple "Hi, I'm Mike." If she responds with a "Hi, I'm Sarah." That's a great sign!
Maybe she's not considering you for marriage but she's at least friendly and willing to give you the time of day.
What if she shoots me down?
It's terribly unlikely that you'll be completely blown off, but she may already be in a relationship, think that you're hitting on her, or maybe she's just having an awful day. In this situation simply apologize for bothering her and wish her a good day.
How do I know if she's into me? What should we talk about?
If she is interested enough to accept your approach then simply talk to her about her, and let her know a bit about you.
Don't focus solely on her or yourself, but focus mostly on her. It will show that you're genuinely interested, but she won't walk away wondering why some stranger wanted to know everything about her.
She needs to walk away knowing:
- Your name
- Your type of personality
- Some of the interests you have in common
- And how she can further contact you
If you're able to sit down and have a long, decent conversation, then I guess you don't need much more advice from me. As cliche as it may sound, all you have to do after that is be yourself.
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