Loved to Death
He was loving her to death.
She sat there quietly crying, trying to not upset him again. Everyday it was the same story. No matter what she did it was not right. If she didn't do something, he thought she should have done it. How could she be so dumb. All she wanted to do was make him happy. She loved him. He loved her, she knew he did because he would tell he as he was beating her. She made him do it, he didn't want to. She made him do it, it was all her fault. Afterwards he would cry, beg her to forgive him, and promise it would never happen again. But it always did.
It's a sad part of life but 22 to 25 percent of all women experience domestic violence and 7 to 9 percent of all men. Yes, men are also victims of spousal abuse. Sometimes it's physical, sometimes it's mental or verbal, and sometimes it's both.
Because she loved him, because she was terrified of him, because she had no where else to go, she always forgave him. At least she said she did. She had to, she had no choice. If she didn't he might hurt her worse.
Unfortunately he was going to hurt her worse anyway. If he followed the route of the normal abuser the hurt and pain would become worse, much worse.
Why does he do this to me? I do everything I can to please him. Whatever he wants I do without question. When is this going to end?
Unfortunately for some it only ends in death. On average, more than three women and one man are murdered by their intimate partners in this country every day.
I'm really hurt this time. I can't move, I can hardly breath. God, please help me.
Some Shocking Domestic Abuse Statistics
- Most domestic abuse violence is never reported.
- Battering tends to increase and become more violent over time.
- Every 9 seconds a woman is assaulted or beaten.
- There are 1,500 shelters for battered women in the US.
- About 2 out of every 5 of all domestic violence victims are men.
- 25 to 45% of women battered are battered during pregnancy.
- 90% of battered women report that their children were present while they were beaten.
- Domestic violence is the leading cause of injury of woman.
- Over 70% of women injured in domestic violence cases are injured after seperation.
- 25 to 30% of adolescent relationships are abusive.
- Women ages 20 to 24 areare at greatest risk of becoming victims of domestic violence.
- Every day more than 3 women are murdered by their husband or boyfriend.
- More than 60% of domestic violence occurs at home.
- About 25% of the homeless or head of household in the city of New York were the victim of domestic violence.
Types of Domestic Violence
- hitting with object
- hair pulling
Emotional or Psychological
- keeping victim from friends and family
- name calling
- playing mind games
- constant criticism
- undermining victims self-esteem
- controlling what victim can or cannot do
- threatening to kill victim
- threatening to commit suicide
- threatening to take the kids away
- destruction of victim's property
- interrogating family
- threatening to harm pet
- blaming victim for abuse
- pressure victim to have sex
- interfering with birth control
- attacks of sexual areas of body
- forced prostitution
- forced sex
- making victim financially dependent
- Not allowing victim to work
- holding the purse strings
- making victim account for every penny spent
- controlling finances
- not allowing victim access to money
- withholding food
Help for Domestic Violence Victim
Calling the police is one of the options for obtaining help. Many victims don't use this option because of the fear of retaliation of their abuser.
An Order of Protection is also an option. It is ordered by a judge to try to keep your abuser away from you and to control his behavior. When you have an Order of Protection the police tend to take your calls more seriously and your abuser can be arrested if her violates the order.
National Domestic Violence Hotline (1-800-787-SAFE or 7233) will help a victim plan a safe escape from his or her abuser.
Safe Horizon (1-800-621-HOPE or 4673) is the largest provided of domestic violence services in the US for men and women. They provides crisis counseling, safety planning, assistance with finding shelter, referrals to Safe Horizon programs or other organizations, advocacy with the police, and other crucial services.
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