MARRIAGES & Affairs Part II

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MARRIAGES & Affairs



Part II

It takes a lot of hard diligent serious work for restoration of a marriage! One needs to humbly confess, submit to God's priniciples for marriage and sincerely repent! Don’t use the blame game! Take responsibility for your actions. Affairs signify a betrayal of trust! Your spouse's feelings need to be acknowledged and validated. Accept blame for your part! It is important to allow your spouse time to heal and reconcile their hurt! Allow forgiveness to do its work. Forgiveness does not mean forgetting… it means acknowledging the action and moving forward past the pain and letting go of the resentment! This is what frees the offended one of the hurt and or shame… Although difficult; each spouse is responsible for handling the forgiveness process in a godly manner




The Word of God is powerful! It is “ALIVE”! “Once you were alienated from God and were enemies in your minds because of evil behavior. But NOW He has reconciled you by Christ’s physical body through death to present you Holy in His sight, without blemish and free from accusation – IF you continue in your FAITH, established and firm, not moved from the hope of the Gospel. This is the Gospel that you heard and that has been proclaimed to every creature…” Colossians 1.



Before accepting Jesus Christ as your personal Savior we are alienated from God and His way of thinking. God has designed marriage as a committed monogamous union between a man and a woman to have their marital needs fulfilled. There is power when two are united in mind, body and Spirit for the Lord! Marriage is honored by God!Let this mind be in you! That was also in Christ Jesus!” Philippians 2. We are to sincerely strive to have the attitude of Jesus! Marriage is symbolic of His dedication to His Church!



Wrong thinking leads us away from God and His principles. Sin is anything that separates us from God! We never get to the point that we can do without the Lord! This is why we all need a Savior to help us from allowing sin to reign in our lives. God wants to be a part of every area of our lives! God can help us in our marriages! This is why it is so very important to know His Word for yourself! To build an ongoing personal intimate relationship with the Lord through Jesus Christ!




Sex was created as the ultimate way for a man and woman to physically express themselves to the one you love and commit to marry! So the two can again become united as one; you actually made a vow that included God! To become one flesh in a way that is not possible like no other! Or did you? There is an unexplainable oneness that takes place… Many believers separate the Lord from their sex life as though He is not aware of what is happening…in some instances satan decieves them into thinking their gift is enough and overides the sin. Not knowing they are in a carnal seducing mode rather than in a spiritual drawing mode by the Holy Spirit. This is the case when they participate in sex outside of marriage. There is a difference. No wonder we have so much chaos and confusion going on all about us! Adopting God’s principles in regards to sex can result in a fulfilling rewarding healthy secure marriage and a closer walk with the Lord!




God’s design is for one man and one woman was not only for procreation but for unity and pleasure! “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice with the wife of your youth… Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; and always be enraptured by her love.” Proverbs 5. Desire is natural and God has provided the proper way that your natural desires can be met! As a matter of fact marriage comes with a spiritual BLESSING. God sanctions the marital bed! Many are unfulfilled because they do not acknowledge the Lord’s Word in this area! Did you know? “The marriage bed is undefiled.” Hebrew 14.




God never intended for sex to be an emotionless, prudish, unfulfilling experience or mere duty. There is an entire book in the Old Testament: “The Song of Solomon” it is a wonderful candidly expressive book! It is full of poetic prose expressing the beauty of sexual expression between man and wife! There is much here for one to ponder. Pray and meditate on it and ask the Lord to lead you! God looks on the heart and knows your heart! All His promises are true! All means ALL! This is not a forbidden area where He is not concerned! We can TRUST HIM in every area of our lives!



Many married couples have not allowed God into this area of their lives. An affair is a clear indication that someone is not listening to the Lord! There are consequences for sexual sins. Therefore one must readily confess and repent! If you are here: know this greatly impedes and hinders your ability to minister effectively… Take some time and allow the Lord to “spiritually cleanse you.” God’s Word is powerful! His Holy Spirit is ever present. You just really need to sincerely repent, invite Him in and ask to be cleansed and filled with His Holy Spirit! Repent means to turn to Him! Not to repeat!



*Repeated incidences of infidelity strongly infer you are electing to practice sexual sin and is blatant disobedience! You are in fact living outside the will of the Lord!



*REPENTANCE is an important step in marriage restoration! If you have faltered in this area cleave to the Lord! Keep looking up and go forward in the Lord…




It is important to know you are never alone! God is Omnipresent and everywhere you are! “Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart and lean not to your own understanding. In ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your path….” Proverbs 3. Leaning not to your own understanding means to do things GOD's way not to fulfill the lusts of the flesh! Again, to acknowledge HIM in all your ways means ALL!!! Wherever you are GOD knows! He is the Giver and sustainer of life. He knows what has happened, what is happening and what will be! Begin to be transparent with Him. He can strengthen you wherever you are weak! This is why we need Jesus Christ as our Savior and Lord! You must "Confess and repent!" He can take any hurt, pain and sin and heal you from the inside out!



Transparency and intimacy brings trust, security and passion to your marriage! By working as a united team you both mutually seek to fulfill the responsibility of having your emotional and physical needs met within the boundaries of marriage! You embrace God’s principles and are open to Him. He fulfills the void in you that is only meant for HIM! Here is where True “oneness” in marriage can be developed. God honors your marriage and commitment! A loving, committed caring marriage yields stability! When your physical needs are met you have healthier boundaries! You respect your marriage and the marriages of others as well by doing so you honor God!




This world is satiated with sex and many men and woman as well as youth are confused! In developing a strong healthy marriage it is here in the light of transparency your strengths and weaknesses surface. Together you can seek to learn how to help one another grow and rise above your weaknesses! Focusing on your strengths rather than your weaknesses yields personal growth and self empowerment! This allows your strengths to eventually overshadow them and spiritual growth becomes possible. This is what growing towards the ongoing process of maturity is all about; and results in a securer improved marriage relationship and closer walk with the Lord. Our teens even moreso today need committed marriage role models!




Don’t be fooled! The world encourages sex outside of marriage! "Do you own thing," Sleep with as many people as you want... No big deal! Spiritually we know that something much deeper than “just sex” is taking place. Don't continue to give parts of you away...You cannot undo what has been done. But you can now “Press forward towards the mark...” God knows when you are truly sincere! A commitment to God, His principles, Honesty and Respect are crucial! Seeking ways to build a bridge rather than embrace destructive ways that serve to destroy and tear down your relationship as well as your character is far better. Here is what the WORD of GOD teaches us about marriage! Take some time to read, ponder, meditate and digest!




"Wives submit to your OWN husbands, as to the LORD. For the husband is the head of the wife, as also "Christ is The Head of the CHURCH" and He is The Savior of the body. Therefore just as the CHURCH is subject to Christ, so let the wives be subject to their own husbands in everything. Husbands love your wives, just as Christ also loved the CHURCH and gave Himself for her, that HE might sanctify and cleanse Her with the washing of Water by the WORD, that HE might present her to Himself a glorious CHURCH, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be Holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to LOVE their OWN wives as their OWN bodies; he who LOVES his wife LOVES himself..." Ephesians 5.



This is easier said than done. There is much spiritual warfare to separate marriages and families... Each spouse must pray fervently and seek the Lord for direction! Submission in marriage should be mutual! A husband that truly honors God will not take advantage of his wife. A wife that truly honors God will not take advantage of her husband. Manipulation will destroy your marriage! The key ingredient that is missing in most marriages today is the absence of submitting to God's will and way for marriage! Too many have embraced worldly ways and standards for marriage! It is through Jesus Christ the Fruit of His Spirit can flourish in our hearts, marriages and homes! True success is submitting to God's will and way!



A "Covenant Marriage" is an invaluable spiritual treasure! it is a sacred solemn agreement between one man and one woman. The only person you can change is you! Help is always available! God truly is able! His Holy Spirit is dear and near! Give up "Me-ness for We-ness!" The Christian marriage is a Spiritual Triangle sanctioned by God! It takes three to become one spiritually! "What God has joined together let not man put asunder!" To GOD Be The GLORY!


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Comments 28 comments

RevLady profile image

RevLady 6 years ago from Lantana, Florida

“Transparency and intimacy brings trust, security and passion to your marriage! By working as a united team you both mutually seek to fulfill the responsibility of having your emotional and physical needs met within the boundaries of marriage! You embrace God’s principles and are open to Him.” AMEN! AMEN!

We know that people get married for a variety of reasons and God, love and commitment is not at the top of the list. I often hear women admitting outright that they just “need a man” to feel whole. It seems that today, marriage values has taken a back seat to just plain companionship or lust.

But like you so eloquently delineated, lasting marriages require partners who are equally yoked, love God, respect one another, understand that marriage takes work, and who have made the conscious decisions to do only those things that will enhance the relationship.

“Each spouse must pray fervently and seek the Lord for direction! Submission in marriage should be mutual! A husband that truly honors God will not take advantage of his wife. A wife that truly honors God will not take advantage of her husband.” AMEN! AMEN! AMEN! This is truly a profound statement. That is the secret really. The more loving the man is to his wife, the more submissive and loving she is towards her husband and vice versa.

Bottom line TRUTH: A "Covenant Marriage" is an invaluable spiritual treasure! It is a sacred solemn agreement between one man and one woman.”

Thank you pastor DeBorrah for sharing God’s wisdom concerning the sacredness of the marital relationship. May it reach those readers who need to know this truth most and may those readers be led into serious contemplation and reflection.

Blessings and joy dear sister in His service!

Forever His,


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 6 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

Thank you Lady D, for such a wonderful and inspiring hub for married cuoples, young and old need to know the sexual laws of God. Thank you so much for sharing with us. Godspeed. creativeone59


A M Werner profile image

A M Werner 6 years ago from West Allis

DeBorrah, marriage has become so secularized. Even in the Church, people make that promise before the Lord without really fully comprehending the extent of it. I always wonder when people talk about how hard it is to forgive infidelity - are they seeing it from the Lord's perspective? As you said, "Sin is anything that separates us from God." When we sin, we are the ones who have been "unfaithful."

Those who want to be forgiven, need to start by forgiving. All relationships in life start - and sometimes end - with us. There truly is a temptation out there for nearly every emotion and desire. Only by faith in the bonds we create can we stand strong until the day is done - till death do us part. Peace.


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 6 years ago Author

RevLady, Welcome! Thank you for being my first and most gracious visitor! I know that you are aware of the overwhelming need to openly discuss "MARRIAGE & Affairs” so many are going through…

You are so right when many marry: “God, love and commitment is not at the top of the list.” It is my sincere desire to share some of the deeper aspects of marriage. It is amazing just how misinformed many really are… How can you expect it to work out when you by pass what God says?

Anything worth having takes work, maintenance and care… Marriage is a partnership! Both spouses are so very different but equally important! God has given us the proper instructions but so few want to listen. No wonder we have so much chaos…

Thank you for sharing your insightful wisdom on MARRIAGE GOD’S WAY! I realize that there are many trying to redefine marriage. But God has not changed! I am PRO MARRIAGE GOD’S WAY!

May the Lord Bless and multiply your Ministry & Church family! TENFOLD in the Mighty Name of JESUS! No doubt that you are sharing the much needed uncompromising TRUE GOSPEL of JESUS CHRIST! In HIS Love, Peace, Joy & Blessings!


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 6 years ago Author

Creativeone, You are quite welcome! So glad you are inspired! I Pray that the Lord directs you in His will... Thank you for stopping by to share, In His Love, Peace & Blessings!


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 6 years ago from London, UK

Thanks - we need lots of Hubs like this. May God give everyone grace. Infidelity - can be a stronghold for some.

I like what you wrote here: "Our teens even more so today need committed marriage role models!" Very important. Lots of marriages break up in less than 5 years and our youth might start to think - that is the norm. They'll think "its not a big deal."

Have a Blessed week, :)


Kristeen profile image

Kristeen 6 years ago from Michigan

Nice hub DeBorrah! Marriage does take work and commitment to not only our spouse, but also to God. When we keep Him at the center of our marriage, we will be able to stay focussed and sort out our priorities.

Thanks for another good one

Kristeen


Vladimir Uhri profile image

Vladimir Uhri 6 years ago from HubPages, FB

Thank you for great Hub.


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 6 years ago Author

A M Werner, You are point on! Many have begun to subscribe to the world’s ideas concerning marriage. As you say "Even in the Church, people make that promise before the Lord without really fully comprehending the extent of it." This is quite true as well as disheartening!

I think it is important that we openly discuss marriage and the plethora of surrounding issues… Marriage was really designed to be a beautiful exclusive relationship between man and woman! For many it has now become a pro tem ala carte relationship… My intentions here is to promote “MARRIAGE GOD’S WAY” Your comments are much appreciated! Yes! "To death us do part!" Thank you as always, for sharing your insight, In HIS Love, Peace, Joy & Blessings to you and yours!


djbraman profile image

djbraman 6 years ago

Thank you so much DeBorrah for writing more on this subject, you are definitely called for this, and yes, the church has near stopped teaching the marriage covenant, but we have to get back to the family and setting the order up God's way for it to be successful. God bless you!


Greenlily profile image

Greenlily 6 years ago from Philippines

Very timely DeB! I have a friend who is now suffering because of philandering husband. This could help a lot!


cristina327 profile image

cristina327 6 years ago from Manila

This is indeed another excellent hub from you DeBorrah K. Ogans. Thank you for sharing these godly principles that will always serve as a timely reminder for this modern generation. Truly enlightening. Blessings to you always and your family. Best regards.


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 6 years ago Author

Lady E, Thank You!!! When God created man and woman He created them to have a committed monogamous marriage with Him as the center. The world continues to try and change His design. So many do not fully understand the value of a loving trusting devoted marriage. It is the backbone of our society. There is much to support “doing your own thing” We are currently experiencing the consequences of this! Infidelity is a “stronghold “ for many. STD”s, Herpes and HIV is growing at alarming rates right along with it... Although some think it is being virile; Infidelity is actually a weakness motivated by selfishness and insecurity! They lack self control! Therefore we pray that their spiritual eyes are opened to the folly of their ways… Sincerely Repent! Then diligently Seek God for restoration

It is important that we share what GOD has to say about marriage, being respectful, caring, loyal and loving to our spouses is so important! Yes our teens need more "Committed Marriage role models!" God’s Design for marriage has not changed! It is Possible to remain FAITHFUL!

Thank you as always, Much Love, may the Lord Bless and Keep you!


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 6 years ago Author

Kristeen, Welcome as always! Thank you for stopping by! I totally agree!!! A Great Strong fulfilling Marriage has God as the center!

Thank you for sharing your insight! In HIS Love, Joy, Peace & Blessings!


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 6 years ago Author

Vladimir Uhri, Thank you my brother in the Lord for taking the time to stop by and share! In HIS Love, Joy, Peace & Blessings!


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 6 years ago Author

Dj Braman, Thank you for your words of encouragement! Too many marriages are becoming causalties… The Lord always leaves a remnant of His people who believe and TRUST in HIM! We must encourage MARRIAGE GOD’S WAY! It is important to KNOW what God has to say! He has not changed His design! He really does Know what is Best for us! He wants us to have rich, loving, caring, respectful, committed, fulfilling mutually satisfying marriages…

Yes we must teach “The marriage covenant, but we have to get back to the family and setting the order up God's way for it to be successful.“ Amen! I so agree! Thank you taking the time to stop by and share your insight! It is always a pleasure! In HIS Love, Joy m Peace & Blessings!


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 6 years ago Author

Greenlily, This is auite unfortunate... I do hope that this is helpful and encouraging! You are a kind, thoughtful and considerate friend! I pray that she turns to the Lord in her distress for direction. He is truly a God of comfort and strength!

Thank you for taking the time to share, In HIS Love, Peace & Blessings!


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 6 years ago Author

Cristina, God is Faithful! “He is able to KEEP you from falling!” There is much spiritual warfare to derail marriages and families! One must continuously seek the Lord’s direction! This generation surely needs more committed marriage role models! Be encouraged! God is able! Thank you for stopping by to share! In His Love, Joy, Peace & Blessings!


tribaldating profile image

tribaldating 6 years ago from CA, US

nice hub ogns.


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 6 years ago Author

Tribaldating, Thank You! Please come again! In HIS Love, Peace & Blessings!


no body profile image

no body 6 years ago from Rochester, New York

One of the greatest myths the world perpetuates is that sex can be divided from love and fidelity. It is impossible because the mind and heart are indivisible from the body. When one puts his or her body into playing the harlot, their mind is at work. The world would tell you that what takes place in one's mind is no ones business but God says if you sin with your mind you sin with everything. Affairs, even masturbation with fantasy that goes away from one's spouse is suspect. The word is clear. A wife is to adored as Christ adored the Church and is truly one with us. A husband is to be adored as the Church is to be at one with God. My wife is a beauty to behold. I don't find it hard at all to be ever attentive to beauty like that. Thank you for giving me a way to say that publically.


msorensson profile image

msorensson 6 years ago

I love this part, Deborrah

"Forgiveness does not mean forgetting… it means acknowledging the action and moving forward past the pain and letting go of the resentment."

Lucky me I will never have to deal with this...I choose not to ever have to deal with it.

I love the hub, thank you.

Much love,

Melinda


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 6 years ago Author

Nobody, You are point on! The world always tries to pervert what GOD intends to be Beautiful! “The devil is a liar…” Many continue to be deceived as he continues to divide marriages and families…

We however must be “instant in season and out of season…” We must declare “MARRIAGES GOD’S WAY!” What “GOD has joined together let not man put asunder…” Marriage is honorable in the eyes of the Lord! God is truly able! "The JOY of the LORD is our strength!"

Thank you for sharing your insight! "When two touch and agree in His Name He is in the midst..." May the Lord’s Favor rest upon you and your household as you together honor Him in your marriage! Thank You as always, In HIS Love, Joy, Peace & Blessings!


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 6 years ago Author

Msoresson, His Holy Spirit is your Comforter! May the Lord guard your heart! “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want…” God will be your everything… “Each one should use whatever gift he has received to serve others , faithfully administering God’s GRACE in various forms. If anyone speaks, he should do it as one speaking the very words of God. If anyone serves, do it with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through JESUS CHRIST.” I Peter 4. TRUST GOD! He will fill any void in your life as you cleave to HIM! “…When the Chief Shepherd appears you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away!" I Peter 5.

Melinda, Much love as well!Thank you for stopping by to share! It is always a pleasure!

In HIS Service,

May His Love, Joy, Peace & Blessings rest upon you!


stars439 profile image

stars439 6 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

Dear Mr.s Deborrah : The temptation to cheat is definitely a reality. Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this. God Bless You Dear Heart.


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 6 years ago Author

Stars, You are so welcome! Thank you for stopping by to share, In His Love, Joy, Peace & Blessings to you and yours!


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 6 years ago from malang-indonesia

This is good and give motivation for me. I learn much from this information. I'll keep my marriage and I try to avoid kind of affairs. I thought all religion thought us to stay away with affairs, right. But the reality show it different. I hope we can learn together and keep the marriage well. Thank you very much. Again, you impressed me much, my friend.

Prasetio


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 6 years ago Author

Prasetio, Wonderful! So glad you are motivated! You are really making great preparations for when that times comes for you to marry... There is much warning against affairs yet many still fall into this trap... As you say "reality show it different!"

Yes! Let's encourage "Building Better "MARRIAGES GOD'S WAY!" God truly is ABLE!

Thank you for stopping by to share my friend, In HIS Love, Joy, Peace & Blessings

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