Making Relationships Work

New relationships are filled with so much emotion. They can be exciting.  They can be euphoric.  Maybe even a little bit scary. Anxiousness might set in. You may find yourself thinking about the other person more and more each day. Maybe you get the 'butterflies in your stomach feeling' when you think about them or when you see them. You wonder what they're up to. You want to know everything about them. What kind of music does he or she like? What does he or she do for fun? You may wonder how much you mean to that special someone.

Each person has their own feelings, emotions, worries, fears, and loves associated with having a new love interest. Making sure the relationship (whether new or not-so-new) is working for each partner is a common interest in many people.

What You Should Know Before Getting Into A Relationship

Know Yourself.  Before getting into a romantic relationship with someone, one of the most important things you need to already know is yourself. Many people look for someone 'to make them happy' or 'to complete them'. An important thing to know is that you need to know yourself and be happy with yourself before letting someone else in. If you are not happy with yourself and comfortable in your own skin, you can't expect someone else to 'fix' you. It won't happen.

What Kind Of Relationship Are You Looking For?  Knowing what kind of relationship you want is very important. What I mean is, you need to know if you are looking for a commitment, fling, or one night stand. This will help you determine where to look for a partner. If you are looking for just a one night stand or a fling, then for instance; a bar or club would be a great place to start. If you are looking for more of a commitment, then looking around in your friend's circle is a good start. One of your friends may be able to introduce you to someone. If you are going to school, there may be a potential prospect in your class.

What Traits Do You Look For?  A good start to finding a partner is knowing what kind of person you want to attract. You may not have a 'type' of interest, but having an idea of what traits you like in a person is a good start. This can be physical traits or personality traits. Do you prefer taller or shorter people? Blondes or brunettes? What age range are you looking for? Do you want someone who is outgoing or someone who is more reserved? Is politeness a quality you look for? Are you looking for someone who seems to be care-free and goes with the flow or someone who seems to be more ambitious and goal-oriented?

Making Relationships Work: How To Achieve And Maintain A Good Relationship With Your Partner

Make Each Other Happy.  Making each other happy is a key ingredient to making a committed relationship work. Focus on making your partner happy. Doing so will not only make your partner happy and want to be with you, but it will also in turn make your partner more willing to treat you the same (if he or she isn't doing so already).

Support Each Other.  Having a committed relationship also requires the partners to support each other. Some people tend to focus too much on the relationship itself instead of focusing on their own personal goals. It is important for each person to keep pursuing his or her ambitions and likewise, it is important that each partner supports the other and reminds them of their life goals. Supporting each other doesn't only need to be over life goals. It should be a daily thing.

Take Time To Bond.  Bonding over activities that both of you enjoy is a great way to achieving or maintaining a good relationship. This could be anything from a sport, to cooking together, going for walks together, shopping together, building things together, playing board games together. Be creative. Trying new things is a great way to keep the spark in your relationship and it will help bring the two of you closer together.

Be Open And Honest.  Being open and honest with each other is important. Doing so will help with developing and keeping trust in each other.

Work On Communication.  Have good communication with each other. Be able to say how you feel to the other person. This can be easy for some people, while it is very difficult for others. Know that being able to express your thoughts and feelings in a civil manner is key to making your relationship strong. It's unhealthy to keep your emotions bottled up inside. Talking your thoughts and feelings out with your partner makes it so that each of you understand better where the other one is coming from.

Not Every Day Is A Good Day: What About Arguments?

It won't always be easy. There will be plenty of arguments over time. There will probably be some tears shed. The important thing is to always work at it. When you argue, communicate about it within a day or two after the argument. If one or both of you need to 'cool off', that's fine, but talk it over sometime soon. That way it brings clarity to the situation and so you don't start bottling it up. Don't shy away from it for too long.

On the other end, try not to have all of your arguments end in yelling and screaming at each other. It's very easy for those kind of arguments to (maybe not even until later in the relationship) escalate into more. Yelling and screaming at each other can lead to demeaning each other and making each other feel bad when it really doesn't need to come to that. It could also lead to breaking things and hurting people. In the end, nothing really gets solved and one or both people just end up feeling worse. The best thing to do is not let it get like that. If you feel like you can't talk about it without it escalating, then take some time to 'cool off' and talk it over up to a day or two later when you've calmed down.

Every Relationship Needs Work And Attention

When you look around at those couples that have 'been together forever and are still so in love', just know that all of those couples had to work at it. You may believe that everyone has a soul mate. Whether you believe that or not, every couple has to work through the years to achieve and maintain the relationship they desire.

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