Managing conflict in relationships for a happy healthy life

Marriage, Friendship and Employee Relationships

This topic is near and dear to me because I think so many relationships can be saved if we would only try and work out our differences. I have been married for twenty-six years to my spouse, and I am sure he will tell you the same. In this article the emphasis will be placed on marital relationships, but other relationships will be discussed also.

I will discuss: Marriage Relations, Friendship Relations, and Employee Relations. They are three key relationships in our lives. Marriage is the closest relationship we should have. Friendship is an essential relationship we should have, and Employee relationships with your Manager/Supervisor is crucial.

Life is full of excitement and surprises if you allow yourself.  It is through people that we find joy and happiness.  Life without loving people to share it with is meaningless and useless.  We need close relationships to enjoy everyday situations.  I read in a survey that, the happiest people have a friend who lives within a two-mile radius.  I want to share some ways to improve these relationships and experience the best that these relationships have to offer. 

Couple resolved their differences
Couple resolved their differences | Source

Let’s dive into this very challenging topic by starting in the reverse order

Employee relationships. I will focus on employee and supervisor relationship. You and I both have some horrible things about bosses and supervisor. Employees have been known to hate their supervisor. It is common for employee and supervisor not to get along. In my work experience, I have only had one supervisor that I would not desire to work with again – that is the one I will discuss here.

When you feel challenged in your work and want to throw in the towel because of your supervisor, stop and think – think long-term. Here are some suggestions:

  1. Do not discuss with other employees (your peers) about negative feelings and thoughts about your supervisor.
  2. Do talk with a trusted mature management level individual about your situation.
  3. Contact human resources if this is your employer’s policy.
  4. Remain productive on your job, because it’s not about your.
  5. Be reminded about what your goal is on your job and do not take criticism personal.

 

Supervisor and employee meeting
Supervisor and employee meeting | Source

Now that we have discussed employee relationships, let’s discuss Friendship Relationships. I believe friendship is the spice of life. Good friendships add and heighten your life’s experience. But there comes a time in each our lives that we have a friend here and there that we have to deal with. Let me make a side note here – I know that at anytime we can let go and “bye bye” to a boss, friend or a marriage. The approach I am taking here is – how to keep a relationship in tact or improve it. Well then, here are some suggestions on maintaining a friendship relationship that is in trouble:

  1. Step back away from the relationship – don’t give it up.
  2. Don’t say cruel things you will regret to each other.
  3. Allow time to make a way. Time and space does amazing things for a relationship.
  4. When you have an urge or unction to do or say something to your friend – do it.
  5. Think kind thoughts about your friend – want the best for them.

 

Couples argue sometimes
Couples argue sometimes | Source

Last relationship to discuss is the Marriage Relationship. Marriage is probably the most difficult relationship to maintain because it is the closest physically and emotionally – you live together. You must learn some skills and strategies to maintain a happy marriage. Here are five of the best tips and suggestions to manage conflict in your marriage:

  1. Listen carefully to what your spouse is trying to convey.
  2. Make sure that you understand what your spouse needs.
  3. Yield to your spouse – I know this is a tough one, but you will thank me later.
  4. Give your spouse first place – he/she is your trophy. Be proud of him, showcase him, and build her up. Honor them more than anybody else in your life.
  5. Forgive and apologize to your spouse. Forgiveness is one of the most powerful tools you can have and use in a marriage. Use it, you will need it often.

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Comments 25 comments

Entourage_007 profile image

Entourage_007 4 years ago from Santa Barbara, CA

This is such a great hub - forgiveness is a very important thing in relationships and I can definitely say that I need to be more understanding with my spouse. When one person follows through with understanding, its much more likely for the other person to do it as well.


Treasuresofheaven profile image

Treasuresofheaven 5 years ago from Michigan Author

paulynice rolden, hope you can use some of this information. Relationships are the root of being - the better we handle them, the better off we will be.

Nice to see you here, come back again!


Treasuresofheaven profile image

Treasuresofheaven 5 years ago from Michigan Author

heart4theword, so nice to see you. Glad I got you thinking - feel free to use this layout on your hubs.


paulynice roldens profile image

paulynice roldens 5 years ago from Boca Raton, Florida

I really like that hub. It is very useful and

informative......


heart4theword profile image

heart4theword 5 years ago from hub

Like what you said, about having close friends within a 2 mile radius? Never really thought about how many miles, my closest friends or family are located. You got my brain a thinking:) Nice lay-out on this hub! Good job:)


Treasuresofheaven profile image

Treasuresofheaven 5 years ago from Michigan Author

Hi Denise,

Many of our relationships could be saved if we only have and use the tools to handle them better. I think this hub is a good start to managing conflict.

Thanks for your comment - I do try to write in bite size!


Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 5 years ago from North Carolina

Sima-very sound advice. I like your concise, to the point list you've offered for each group. Thanks for sharing.


Treasuresofheaven profile image

Treasuresofheaven 5 years ago from Michigan Author

JSParker, I think you mentioned something very important in relationships - "Forgiving." A relationship without "forgiveness," is like a car without wheels.

I'm with you, as I grow older, I am more forgiving of others.......

Thanks for adding such a significant point to this topic!


JSParker profile image

JSParker 5 years ago from Detroit, Michigan

There isn't really anything more important in life than relationships, and they certainly make the difference in how rich and varied our experience is. While I tend to be a person who enjoys solitude, it is those relationships with my friends and my partner, Keith, that enrich my experience when not with others.

I find as I grow older I am more and more forgiving of others shortcomings, and of my own, as well.


Treasuresofheaven profile image

Treasuresofheaven 5 years ago from Michigan Author

cherrycrime26, glad you find this informative and you love the advice! Thanks for stopping by!


cherrycrime26 profile image

cherrycrime26 5 years ago from NY, Now Living in Atlanta Ga

This is a very informative hub, love the advise!


Treasuresofheaven profile image

Treasuresofheaven 5 years ago from Michigan Author

Hi ladyt11, thanks for following me and reading my hub. I do appreciate your insight and your comment. Wisdom endures a lifetime.

Take Care! See you around!!


ladyt11 5 years ago

Wonderfully written and full of info that will help in each of the situations you write about. You are wise and I am now following you, voted up and useful


Writerly Yours profile image

Writerly Yours 5 years ago

Treasures, you are amazing! Thank you for being you. Your words are so inspirational and yes it's a work in progress! But, if it's worth it then it's worth it.

I have a few hubs I have been drafting so I haven't been around, but I will soon! I have been carving out writing time and trying to get into a routine again.

Thank you again! I'll see you soon.

Keep up the great work and thanks for the compliments!

And yes----GOD IS ALWAYS IN MY LIFE! :)


Treasuresofheaven profile image

Treasuresofheaven 5 years ago from Michigan Author

Hi Marcella Glenn, thanks for reading and your comment is appreciated. Very powerful and concise words!


Treasuresofheaven profile image

Treasuresofheaven 5 years ago from Michigan Author

Writerly Yours, I am very glad to see you. You are indeed a young woman that has come a long way. You know the value of working through a situation when trouble and problems arise.

You are example to many young women.

I am very appreciative that you have shared your personal situation and marriage - I hope others are listening. You have put in the work and time and now have the evidence/proof to show that - marriage can work!

Keep on building your family - Keep trusting God (hope you do) - Keep learning and growing.

It is funny how you say I am your 'hub mentor' - I feel you are my encourager. I am glad to be a part of your life!

Blessings!!

-Sima


Marcella Glenn 5 years ago from PA

A well written hub that hold many truths.


Writerly Yours profile image

Writerly Yours 5 years ago

Treasuresofheaven!

Another awesome and also "near and dear to my heart" topic!!!!!!!!!!

Voted up.

I have been married for over 7 years and with my husband 14 years and when I tell you we can write a book it's an understatement. Sigh!

But, yes, yes and yes. I speak for myself, the more we made our marriage a priority and got help when we needed it and stood by each other through the good, bad and ugly the closer, stronger and inpeneterable our marriage has become. However, the best thing has been how we both have brought out the best in each other and for each other.

I love how you said to showcase and make the other the most important one and I can't tell you how often (daily actually) I find something positive to convey to my husband---he's a great Father, husband and friend. He takes care of house chores without me even saying a word (yes, that took years to do, but he got it! heheheh) And vice versa! Because as a Mother and wife and woman we too should look at ourselves and work as a team.

Thank you, thank you and thank you for this wonderful hub--as always!

I swear you are my hub mentor! :) I mean that!


Ms Dee profile image

Ms Dee 5 years ago from Texas, USA

Yes, it sure takes work, I agree, and the energy to do it, which I often lack, LOL!


Treasuresofheaven profile image

Treasuresofheaven 5 years ago from Michigan Author

Ms Dee, it is hard to listen when you are emotionally stressed. And the fact is, some relationships do not last. I often feel for my friends who have married into bad relationships and had to call it quits.

I am sure some second marriages (or those that did not marry again) may tell you they have a better relationship now.

The truth is, relationships take work, effort and diligence - all well worth doing.....the rewards far outweight the work.

Thanks for your comment on "good listening......"


Ms Dee profile image

Ms Dee 5 years ago from Texas, USA

These are very helpful tips on where to start in addressing problems in these important relationships. Good listening is so important while so hard to do when emotionally stressed about the problem, isn't it.


Treasuresofheaven profile image

Treasuresofheaven 5 years ago from Michigan Author

Happyboomernurse, I am glad you learned - when we know better we should do better. You have said something so powerful - ...."working through any issues that come up deepens the love and respect that marital partners have with each other."

I hope someone will be encouraged today!

Thanks for your continued support!

-Sima


Treasuresofheaven profile image

Treasuresofheaven 5 years ago from Michigan Author

Hi Dee, nice to see you. Your comments stand for itself -- you are one we can trust to bring clarity and more insight. Thanks!


Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 5 years ago from South Carolina

Much wisdom in this hub, and I have applied it all at different times of my life, though when I was younger I didn't fully understand how important commitment to marriage and friendship is. Back then I thought things should flow smoothly at all times but I learned, particularly in marriage, that working through any issues that come up deepens the love and respect that marital partners have with each other. I'm glad that like you, I've been married to the same loving man for many years now.

Thanks for sharing this hub. Hope others will benefit and get inspiration from what you've written.


Dee aka Nonna profile image

Dee aka Nonna 5 years ago

The three relationships you discuss, although different, are very important and critical to a balanced and healthy emotional and mental health. As I read the part about employee relationships I remembered something that TD Jakes once said --or wrote-- something like "in the workplace we are not there to make friends" that one statement really says a great deal...we should be friendly, respectful and put 150% into whatever we do.

That same "formular" can be applied to other relationships and like you said always, always, listen, listen, listen, listen to what the other person is saying.

Wonderful hub, full of lots of food for thoughts.

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