Marriage Advice - Husband Training

How to save a marriage

So…you’re wondering how to save a marriage, huh? First of all, you need to understand that 99.72% of all marriage problems are caused by husbands. Older, wiser men usually understand this. With that in mind, please understand that this marriage help is for women and wives. After all, few men have the foresight or humility to ask perfect strangers for marriage advice. Secondly, even if they did, they probably wouldn’t follow the suggestions, anyway, so girls – it’s up to us. Consider this a little free online marriage counseling. Do not read this article if you’re male – unless you’re gay. We women can’t give away our sacred secrets to a happy marriage!

I turned this former scoundrel into a wonderful husband.
I turned this former scoundrel into a wonderful husband.
Most men have a deep-seated need for toys.
Most men have a deep-seated need for toys.

Husband Training

I have an almost-perfect husband, and my friends and daughters have noticed this phenomenon. I try to explain to them that Johnny (my husband) didn’t come out of the box this way. It took some intense husband training on my part to create such a wonderful man. He’s hard working, considerate, thoughtful, respectful, supportive, honest, and faithful, but he wasn’t always this way. When I met him, he was a terrible womanizer who spent all his evenings in bars and clubs. He had a veritable fan club of adoring females. I’m not sure if this was due to his good looks and charm or to his American Express business expense card – probably a combination of all of these. Johnny was also self-centered and had a male-superiority attitude that he was better than any woman, which is all too typical of southern males. Even so, I fell hopelessly in love with him, but I knew I had a lot of work to do - especially since he's eleven years older than I. I had to do some serious husband training!

If you have an unruly husband or significant other, there’s hope. Follow some of my suggestions, but don’t wait until it’s too late. The sooner you start, the easier your job will be.

Jobs and Work

“Gotta have a J.O.B. if you wanna be with me!” These are words to live by. Every man needs a job. Even if you don’t need the money, any man under the age of 65 who’s not disabled needs to work. Working gives the man a sense of purpose and fulfillment, making him feel as if he’s achieving his inherent role of provider. More importantly, it gets him out of the house and out of your hair for several hours every day.

Cooking and Housework

If you and your husband both work at jobs, you shouldn’t be expected to do all the cooking and cleaning. Most southern men expect the woman to automatically assume the role of cook and scullery maid, largely because their mothers probably did all these chores. News flash – you’re not his mother! During the fifties and sixties, most southern wives didn’t work outside the home, AND they usually had maids to help them. The times, they are a-changing, and your husband needs to realize we’re now in the 21st century.

Respect

NEVER allow your husband to disrespect you! In the heat of anger, he might call you bad names, and some women will overlook such transgressions. Sure, it’s easier to just let little things slide, but when you do, they often lead to bigger transgressions. Men will usually get away with as much as they can. If they got away with calling you a b**ch once, they’ll do it again. Then they’ll move their verbal abuse up a notch. As Barney Fife would say, “Nip it, nip it in the bud!”

It’s also important to note that you shouldn’t be disrespectful to your hubby, either. And it’s also extremely important that you respect yourself. You should have enough self-respect not to allow a man to treat you like a doormat.

Rewards

Good behavior in a husband should be rewarded. You know those clicker thingies used for dog training? Don’t waste your money – they don’t work on men. I tried that, and it just confused Johnny. You know how dogs tilt their head to one side when they’re confused? That’s the same effect I got from Johnny when I tried the clicker system. Instead, use real, tangible rewards for good behavior. What are the most effective rewards to use? Every man is different, but beer, food, and sex usually prove effective.

Keep in mind that normal good behavior shouldn’t be rewarded – it should be expected! Rewards are for “above the call of duty” actions.

Punishment

Just as rewards should be given for exemplary behavior, punishment should be meted out for bad behavior. You know what works best for your husband. Mine can’t stand for me to be mad, and he really can’t handle it when I cry. In your choice of punishment, make sure the punishment fits the crime. Don’t be too harsh on simple misdemeanors – you want to train your husband, not completely break his spirit.

Play Time

There’s an old saying about how men never grow up – their toys just get more expensive. I totally agree! I get tickled sometimes at how Johnny likes to play with his model cars, video games, and RC airplanes and boats. I’ve often wondered what he’d think if I still played with Barbie dolls. Although his hobbies might seem silly and childish to you, males seem to need such outlets, so try to be understanding. That is, of course, provided that all his chores have been completed and he’s been on good behavior.

Guy pals

Men need to have guy pals, but try to ensure that your husband is hanging out with the right type of men. You don’t want him to be influenced or pressures into doing something bad by a bad friend. This is a very important point. Testosterone poisoning is easy to catch. Even an otherwise good husband will “act out” in an attempt to appear “tough” to another man. Encourage your man to make friends with men who are good husbands. It works out even better if your husband is good friends with your girlfriends' husbands. Best of all, get your spouse to befriend a gay man.

If It's not a problem, don't make it one.
If It's not a problem, don't make it one.

If It Ain't a Problem, Don't Make It One!

In most cases, it’s best to save your most vehement ire for the important misbehaviors. For example, Johnny likes to have a beer or two every night. As long as he doesn’t get drunk, this doesn’t bother me. I actually know a woman who ended a relationship with a really nice guy because he drank ONE beer every night. What was she thinking?? If it’s not a problem, don’t turn in into one! When you “raise the roof” over unimportant things, it takes away the effectiveness of when you really need to rail.

In Summary…

I hope you realize that much of this is tongue-in-cheek, although some points do ring true. I have a couple of girlfriends who are married to overbearing Neanderthals, and I can’t believe what they put up with. Personally, I have too much self-respect to allow myself to be mistreated. I think some women don’t realize how much power they really have in a marriage. We women wield an amazing amount of power, but not all of us realize it or take advantage of it. Also, training a husband can be hard work, but the results are definitely worth the effort. Remember, though – use your power only for good. Now, go and be happy! May the estrogen force be with you!

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Comments 51 comments

Wesman Todd Shaw profile image

Wesman Todd Shaw 4 years ago from Kaufman, Texas

I can only hope that someday a woman who's read your fine advice here will train me properly!!


MelissaBarrett profile image

MelissaBarrett 4 years ago

LOL. First to Todd... I'll train you, but it's got to be train and release, husbands get competitive when there is more than one in a small space :)

To Habee: This is great! I'll show it to the hubbie when he gets done making me coffee ;)


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 4 years ago from England

Hi, Habee, that was so funny! thanks for the laugh, back in the day when I was still ensconced in a marriage I found the best way to train him was, when we went out and he decided in his wisdom to, A, go drink with his friends and leave me at the table, and B, go play on the fruit machines, I used to scan the room with my womanly male scanning device, starting at the bottom, literally and working my way up, and then satchay over to the hot males table and plonk myself down and introduce myself. Did you know that husbands can move quicker than the speed of light? and they thought it was only Atoms! ha ha! great stuff, cheers nell


Millionaire Tips profile image

Millionaire Tips 4 years ago from USA

Oooh you are at 100 today! congrats. This is a great hub, great advice for training your man.


Wesman Todd Shaw profile image

Wesman Todd Shaw 4 years ago from Kaufman, Texas

This is true. Men never truly embraced the hippie ideal outside of the world of....porn.


ChaseK8 profile image

ChaseK8 4 years ago from Toronto, Ontario

Lol, Fantastic hub. I loved reading it! Great writing!


Hillbilly Zen profile image

Hillbilly Zen 4 years ago from Kentucky

Most of the guys I know are big fun to party with, but I'd never really considered them "trainable". You've given all of us adamantly single women hope, Ms. Holle, or at the very least a good laugh. Voted up, funny and potentially useful!


habee profile image

habee 4 years ago from Georgia Author

Wesman, I hope so, too!


cookie512 profile image

cookie512 4 years ago

Great writing! please check out my blogs, follow and comment!


cookie512 profile image

cookie512 4 years ago

thx :)


Pcunix profile image

Pcunix 4 years ago from SE MA

I had to train myself. It took a long time and it was hard work, but worth the effort.


habee profile image

habee 4 years ago from Georgia Author

Mel, my hubby makes our coffee, too. Way to go!


Angela Blair profile image

Angela Blair 4 years ago from Central Texas

Great HUB -- enjoyed it immensely -- bought back some old memories for sure! Best, Sis


habee profile image

habee 4 years ago from Georgia Author

Nell, I admire your tactics. Very resourceful!


habee profile image

habee 4 years ago from Georgia Author

thanks a bunch, Millionaire!


habee profile image

habee 4 years ago from Georgia Author

Chase, glad you enjoyed the hub!


habee profile image

habee 4 years ago from Georgia Author

Zen, with the right tools, I believe that almost any male can be trained, so don't give up! lol


habee profile image

habee 4 years ago from Georgia Author

Cookie, thanks for stopping by!


habee profile image

habee 4 years ago from Georgia Author

PQ, you're one of those rare males! It's great to see you here. Thanks for visiting!


TheMagician profile image

TheMagician 4 years ago from Tampa, FL

This was absolutely hilarious! Great hub, Habee!


habee profile image

habee 4 years ago from Georgia Author

Sis, it's so good to see you!


kerryg profile image

kerryg 4 years ago from USA

LOL - this was a delight!


habee profile image

habee 4 years ago from Georgia Author

Magician, glad my marriage advice gave you some chucks!


habee profile image

habee 4 years ago from Georgia Author

Kerry, I'm honored by your visit! Thanks!


j.amie profile image

j.amie 4 years ago from PA

I'm lucky - I ended up with one that came pre-trained. He is a good bit older than me though, so I'm sure that helps. He cooks, cleans, does laundry, has a job, and never forgets an anniversary. Really - I struck gold.


habee profile image

habee 4 years ago from Georgia Author

j.amie, you really did strike gold! Hang on to him, girlfriend!


DzyMsLizzy profile image

DzyMsLizzy 4 years ago from Oakley, CA

LOL very clever! I needed a good laugh. Thanks for providing it! ;-)


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 4 years ago from malang-indonesia

Very inspiring hub. Thanks for writing and share with us. I learn something new from you. Well done, Habee. Rated up and useful!

Prasetio


mary615 profile image

mary615 4 years ago from Florida

Habee, so nice to meet your "other half". You have trained him well.

Women don't realize the power they have. The question this AM from the poor, poor man who hates his dirty house, etc.etc. reminded me of a friend who was working with me in the Lab on a Sunday morning. She called her hubby to see if he had cleaned the toilets yet. He objected, and she said " you use it,too; you can clean it". He thought it was beneath him to clean the toilet! I voted this one UP, etc.


habee profile image

habee 4 years ago from Georgia Author

Lizzy, glad my marriage advice gave you a laugh!


habee profile image

habee 4 years ago from Georgia Author

Prasetio, always good to see you here, my friend!


habee profile image

habee 4 years ago from Georgia Author

Mary, that question is what prompted me to write this hub! lol


LeanMan profile image

LeanMan 4 years ago from At the Gemba

Great read - I'm not gay, I just always do what I am told not to do on principle... Most of you girls don't need to tell us what to do anyway, you have more subtle ways of controlling us, not that we need controlling!!!

OH - and that 0.28% of problems caused by wives - we forgive you!!


Pcunix profile image

Pcunix 4 years ago from SE MA

I have a different question, Habee: how do you train a wife who won't give up some tasks?

My poor wife has some difficult physical problems. I have taken over most of the housework, but there are some things she insists upon doing even though they hurt her.

I know part of that is that she doesn't want to be helpless - she needs to contribute. But some of it is just being stubborn. We both agree that she's the creative cook, but it's silly that she won't even let me cut up vegetables for her, isn't it? It hurts her to stand there at the counter; I hate seeing it..

I know the only answer is to keep explaining that to her - I'm just venting, really. She'll give in when she's ready to give in and I understand that. I just wish she'd give in now :-)


habee profile image

habee 4 years ago from Georgia Author

No, Leanman - you guys DO need controlling. Perhaps "guidance" is a better word! lol


habee profile image

habee 4 years ago from Georgia Author

PQ, what a thoughtful spouse you are! Maybe you should tell her that it makes you feel better to contribute? Tell her that you enjoy working in the kitchen as a team. Kudos to you for being a wonderful hubby!


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

You deserve a special award for Best Husband Training, Holle. These were excellent suggestions. Don't feel badly though that you did not receive the Best Housekeeping Award. That went to Zsa Zsa Gabor. Every time she got a divorce (7 times) she 'kept' the 'house.'


d.william profile image

d.william 4 years ago from Somewhere in the south

Loved this hub. Made me laugh all the way through it. Although funny, it is quite remarkably reality. I always seemed to get the potential partners that tried to "train" me. That never worked out. And i, like, Zsa Zsa mentioned above - always kept the house, when i got rid of the spouse, who turned out to be a louse, or not a man - but a mouse, or just another souse. Voted up, awesome, funny, and all the other boxes above.


habee profile image

habee 4 years ago from Georgia Author

LOL @ drbj on the housekeeping award! Too funny.


habee profile image

habee 4 years ago from Georgia Author

Good for you, d.william! You get the HP housekeeping award!


Melovy profile image

Melovy 4 years ago from UK

This was funny. I was delighted to read that 99.72% of marriage problems are caused by husbands.

I smiled in recognition at the section on toys. I now realise that the main reason men have families is because it provides an easy excuse for buying more toys. My husband’s love of model trains and planes lay dormant for many years until someone introduced our elder daughter (then aged around 20 months) to Thomas the Tank Engine. From then on our house has become more and more crammed with trains, planes, and even a model tank!


habee profile image

habee 4 years ago from Georgia Author

Melovey, I can relate! Hubby loves buying toys "for the grandsons." Yeah, right! lol


teachertalking1 profile image

teachertalking1 4 years ago

Thanks for sharing such a hilarious hub! What a wonderfully strong woman you are - I'm sure your hub will encourage many women to stand strong and realize that they are deserving of respectful husbands!


Mr Luis Bright 4 years ago

My name is Mr Luis Bright,i live in Mexico,and I’m happily married with a lovely wife and three children.I had a very big

problem with my wife few months ago,to the extent that she even packed her things away from me and my kids for almost 5 months,and i tried all my possible best and effort to bring her back,but all to no avail.I discussed it with a very good friend of mine,and he gave me an advice concerning a spell caster,and i quote.“There’s someone who can handle your situation,he’s always ready and able to do anything related to spell casting,i will like you to contact him with his email,which is as follows.”AYELALA SHRINE”. I never believed in spell casting,but he convinced me and i had no choice than to follow his advice,because i never dreamt of losing my lovely wife.And that’s how i contacted him with his email address,and i discussed with him and so surprisingly,he told me that I’ll get my wife back a day after.so i never believed,until when i got home,the next day,my wife called me to inform me that she was coming back…..So amazing!! That’s how i got my wife back through spell casting and our relationship was now stronger than how it was before.One of the price i was asked to pay was to tell it to people around me that problems like this,can always be solved by “AYELALA SHRINE”. So! my advice for you out there is to visit this same website,and tell him your problems too,if you are in any condition related to love issue or getting your ex back,to have a happy family.THANKS……ayelalashrine@gmail.com


sarah 4 years ago

My name is Sarah Strutting, I am here to testify to the good work of the Dr. CHECK. 2 years ago, my husband left home, he never returned, no phone calls, no letters, no emails, no sign of him anywhere. my daughter got sick with multiple sclerosis, things were so tough for me. I had lost hope, 2 years ago, i met a psychic, he said he would help me, i paid over $6800 and still nothing happened, i lost hope completely, my daughter's situation got worse each day.last month, i saw a posting concerning the good works of the wole professionals, i gave them a try...i paid about $2000, for all three spells (Bring Lover back, Healing spell and Career spells). In a matter of weeks, my husband called me and told me he was sorry and that he wants to come back to me and that he would explain everything when he comes back, three days later, i got a new job with an Oil company, right now, my daughter's condition is getting better each day and i trust she would be well in a matter of days.I want to thank OGBONI SPELL TEMPLE you can contact them via email:(ogbonispelltemple@gmail.com) for their efforts and for bringing my life back to normal and so close to perfection.My name is Naomi Struttgard, i live in Australia.PLEASE HELP ME THANK HIM..

I have a huge testimony to share that I broke in 2 parts I hope Spell caster on ogbonispelltemple@gmail.com and Ancient Priest don't mind, but I have to share this testimony with everyone. Last year, I needed some changes in my life, because I was sick and tired of all the drama and problems that was in my life. I was cursed real badly and I couldn't hold on to a man nor a job no longer than 3 months and friends parted from me and even my family wouldn't help me. Went to a few spell casters last year and nothing happened, but 3 months ago I went to Spell caster on ogbonispelltemple@gmail.com I had Obstacle Breaker Spell, Miracle Money Spell and I noticed good things were happening. I was given some money from an old friend and this guy was nice enough to let me move in the building and he worked out payments for me at my job that I recently got back and people were being nicer to me even some of the rude people that gave me problems


pedroke 4 years ago

“I’d tried everything to bring back my ex, then I discovered you wildernessofspirit@gmail.com. I read his testimonies and i contacted him for help now i believe that wildernessofspirit@gmail.com is real not like others that scam me with my hard arm money. My ex is back here with me now.ÿ Truly I’m over the moon, thankyou, thankyou.”


Tenayah 3 years ago

“My Dear friends online, my name is Tenayah From uk, I have to give this miraculous testimony, which is so unbelievable until now. I had a problem with my Ex husband 2years ago, which lead to our break up. when he broke up with me, i was not my self again, i felt so empty inside me, my love and financial situation became worst, until a close friend of mine Lucy told me about a spell caster who helped her in the same problem too his name is Dr oduwa.i email oduwatemple@yahoo.com the spell caster and i told him my problem and i did what he asked of me, to cut the long story short. Before i knew what was happening my husband gave me a call and told me that he was coming back to me in just 2days and was so happy to have him back to me. We have two kids together and we are happy with ourselves. Thanks to Dr oduwa for saving my relationship and for also saving others own too. continue your good work, If you are interested to contact him and testify this blessings like me, the great spell caster email address is: oduwatemple@yahoo.com you are the best among all the spell caster online I hope you see my testimonies and also pray for my family


JOY 3 years ago

After being in relationship with him for ten years,he broke up with me, I did everything possible to bring him back but all was in vain, I wanted him back so much because of the love I have for him, I begged him with everything, I made promises but he refused. I explained my problem to someone online and she suggested that I should rather contact a spell caster that could help me cast a spell to bring him back but I am the type that never believed in spell, I had no choice than to try it, I mailed the spell caster, and he told me there was no problem that everything will be okay before three days, that my ex will return to me before two days, he cast the spell and surprisingly in the second day, it was around 4pm. My ex called me, I was so surprised, I answered the call and all he said was that he was so sorry for everything that happened, that he wanted me to return to him, that he loves me so much. I was so happy and went to him, that was how we started living together happily again. Since then, I have made promise that anybody I know that have a relationship problem, I would be of help to such person by referring him or her to the only real and powerful spell caster who helped me with my own problem and who is different from all the fake ones out there. Anybody could need the help of the spell caster, his email is (fuma.temple@gmail.com ) you can email him if you need his assistance in your relationship or anything


James smith 3 years ago

My Name is Mr James smith .I will love to share my testimony to all the

people in the forum cos i never thought i will have my girlfriend back and she means so much to me..The girl i want to get marry to left me 4 weeks to our weeding for another man..,When i called her she never picked my calls,She deleted me on her Facebook and she changed her Facebook status from married to Single...when i went to her place of work she told her boss she never want to see me..i lost my job as a result of this cos i can't get myself anymore,my life was upside down and everything did not go smooth with my life...I tried all i could do to have her back to all did not work out until i met a Man when i Travel to Africa to execute some business have been developing some years back..I told him my problem and all have passed through in getting her back and how i lost my job...he told me he gonna help me...i don't believe that in the first place.but he swore he will help me out and he told me the reason why my girlfriend left me and also told me some hidden secrets.i was amazed when i heard that from him..he said he will cast a spell for me and i will see the results in the next couple of days..then i travel back to US the following day and i called him when i got home and he said he's busy casting those spells and he has bought all the materials needed for the spells,he said am gonna see positive results in the next 2 days that is Thursday...My girlfriend called me at exactly 12:35pm on Thursday and apologies for all she had done ..she said,she never knew what she's doing and her sudden behavior was not intentional and she promised not to do that again.it was like am dreaming when i heard that from her and when we ended the call,i called the man and told him my wife called and he said i haven't seen anything yet... he said i will also get my job back in 2 days time..and when its Sunday,they called me at my place of work that i should resume working on Monday and they gonna compensate me for the time limit have spent at home without working..My life is back into shape,i have my girlfriend back and we are happily married now with kids and i have my job back too,This man is really powerful..if we have up to 20 people like him in the world,the world would have been a better place..he has also helped many of my friends to solve many problems and they are all happy now..Am posting this to the forum for anybody that is interested in meeting the man for help.you can mail him on this e-mail; bobothespellter@gmail.com i can't give out his number cos he told me he don't want to be disturbed by many people across the world..he said his email is okay and he' will replied to any emails asap..hope he helped u out too..good luck his email;bobothespellter@gmail.com


GLORIA 3 years ago

AM GLORIA

I WANT TO GIVE THANKS TO Dr Oyinbo THE GREAT SPELL CASTER WHO GOD HAS BLESS WITH HIS SPIRITUAL POWER TO HELP PEOPLE.I NEVER KNOW THAT THERE ARE STILL GREAT MEN LIKE THIS IN THIS WORLD UNTIL I CONFIRM MY SELF,MY HUSBAND LEFT ME WITH 3CHILDREN TO SOUTH AFRICA FOR ANOTHER WOMAN AND SÉANCE HI LEFT US HE HAS NEVER CALLED TO KNOW HOW MY CHILDREN AND I IS LIVING UNTIL ONE DAY I CONFIRM THAT MY HUSBAND WHICH I CALL MY LOVER WAS HAVING AN AFIRE WITH ANOTHER WOMAN IN SOUTHAMPTON THAT WAS WHY HE NEVER THINK ABOUT US ANYMORE BUT,UNTIL ONE DAY I WAS ON INTERNET CHECKING OUT SPELL CASTER ONLINE I MET ALOE OF PEOPLE TESTIFYING WHAT Dr Oyinbo HAS DONE FOR THEM SO I QUICKLY CONTACT HIM WITH MY PROBLEM AND I WAS ASK TO FORWARD MY DETAILS FOR THE WORK SO I QUICKLY DO THAT AFTER 6DAYS OF THE SPELL MY HUSBAND RETURN BACK TO ME WITH THE POWER OF Dr Oyinbo , THAT WAS HOW I GOT MY HUSBAND BACK I MUST CONFIRM THAT Dr Oyinbo IS THE BEST SPELL CASTER I HAVE EVER MEET.THANKS

contact Dr Oyinbo VIA;prophetoyinbojesus@yahoo.com

GLORIA


mabel 2 years ago

DR EZIZA I just wanted to say thank you soooo much for the time that you took with me and helping me to get Harrison back. Through all the phone calls and e-mails, you were there for me and helped me to get him back. God has truly blessed you with a very special gift. Never give up and always continue to follow Gods light as you have been and things will continue to look up for you. Just as you told me, God always watches the actions of every person and makes determinations on their future based upon this. Well, I did my part with the extensive negative releasing spell and kept in contact with you, probably more that I should have. I have been blessed and I am grateful that God put you in my path.You are the perfect spell caster i have never met,you can contact him with this email ezizaoguntemple@gmail.com or +2348058176289

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