Married At First Sight
Four specialists – sexologist, Dr. Logan Levkoff; spiritualist, Greg Epstein; psychologist, Dr. Joseph Cilona; and sociologist, Dr. Pepper Schwartz – create couples according to scientific matchmaking. The couples meet for the first time when they walk down the aisle, their wedding day. The couples are given time to co-habitate, and after several weeks, determine if they want to stay married or divorce.
Cortney and Jason.
Jason stopped guarding his heart and protecting himself from being hurt and learned to trust his wife. It took courage to trust that Courtney was not going to duplicate the hurt of his past relationships. Cortney opened herself up to Jason and was committed to ensuring, despite their busy schedules, that they would make time for each other. It was great that both of them took part in the interest of one another: her burlesque and his wrestling activities. Kudos
Doug and Jaime.
How wonderful they were able to move past the lie! Jaime really displayed courage and vulnerability to open up to Doug and share her childhood environment/home and family. Doug was able to acknowledge he made a mistake and never wanted to ruin Jaime's trust in him. He reassured her that he was there for her and did not judge her based on her background. He was loving and understanding of her ghosts and emotions regarding her childhood. Go Doug and Jaime. Doug understood how important trust is in a relationship. Doug and Jaime worked together regarding his large print grocery list and made dinner for his parents. It was great for Doug's family to get to know her and determine she was really interested in her son and has grown very fond of him during this process of matching. Kudos.
Vaughn and Monet.
I knew they were not going to make it. All the other couples people opened up, compromised, and attempted to meet the needs of the other person in order to make them happy. Again-with all the other couples they gave, opened up, compromised, and shared. Here's where the African American dynamic relationship disconnect took place. They should not have slept together without feelings, an understanding of each other needs, and a deeper connection achieved before becoming intimate.
Vaughn expected to feel like an important component of Monet's life, a person that might be a source of joy to her life. His efforts were dismissed and she constantly made him aware that he was not “financially” where he needed to be by constantly reminding him of his “potential.” She desired a traditional man but was totally a modern woman who is interested in a mate that doesn't really want/need her time, attention, AFFECTION (none present), and was self-sufficient. Even the therapist was asking her to communicate without anger attached to her emotions. All she did was discuss how “I grew. I learned. I know. I will be more careful what I ask for.” She is self-absorbed, non-affectionate, confrontational, angry, and cold. Who wants to work through those layers hoping for something more.
Both were asked to write an apology letter. Her letter was short, flippant, and condescending. Vaughn at least took the time to put some energy and effort into his apology for hurting her feelings. All in all I didn't see what was so BAD about Vaughn wanting a little more significance in Monet's life, more effort with cooking, and an attempt to get into a loving space with her. None of the other couples went into the relationship trying not to make any effort to please their spouse except for this couple.
Vaughn picked her up from the hospital, “thank you.” What Vaughn was communicating to Monet is “thank-you” is what you are saying (words) but they don't translate into action. Vaughn admitted to being mean, Monet couldn't figure out anything she should be sorry for. (Really?)
Communication without hurting one another was their biggest obstacle. Vaughn mentioning a three-some was totally disrespectful and revealed lack of maturity on his part and the seriousness of a marriage relationship. Vaughn had her jumping through hoops initially. First he wanted her to be bubbly and then he wants quiet when he gets home. Monet advising him that he's not stable or responsible as a man, mentioning his exit from the military and career vocation. For a woman to say that to a man, that is going for the jugular.
Monet has lost her softness, sensuality, and power that draws positively that all women have by nature. A man is not your remote to control or develop potential or regarding as someone who will enter your life but not get in your way. While she felt she deserved better/more, it might have been a better learning experience for her to understand how to allow someone into your life and not be so self-absorbed. Vaughn needs to learn to be consistent with his needs/requests and leave the 3-some notion out of equations as it's highly disrespectful. In the end I felt Monet needs to do some self-reflection.
Cooking is a life skill. Alternating days sounds cool with a few days that you two eat out sounds like a cool compromise to me. Cook on one day and make enough for left overs so you don't have to cook the next day. Then next time he cooks a meal. If you don't know how to cook take couples cooking lessons or ask his momma how to cook.
This relationship was a disaster.
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A poem or thoughts on paper as to why some good women are alone. May you be blessed with perspective men and may ladies relate to the voice. An exploration of thoughts from decent black women.
The wisdom of our mothers and older women can provide so much guidance in our lives if we seek the knowledge. While advice may fall to the wayside when given, years later we realize the value.
Sam (Married At First Sight) is an excellent model for women that take charge when dating. Watching her grow, love, take responsibility reaching awareness of self-sabotaging behavior was amazing.
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