Men With Money

How to Date a Man With Money

My first piece of advice...DON"T! There are a few types of men with money and not all are equal even if their bank accounts add up to the same amount. And speaking of money, if I had a nickel for every time I heard a girl or woman say they'll marry a man with money, I'd be rich!

It's amazing how many young women answer every one of life's questions with "I'll just marry someone rich". Simple as that and all of life's problems are fixed. Questions like what will you do after school? or What if you can't find a job? Solved!

I bring up this topic because my friend's daughter is turning 18 and hasn't thought about her future yet...probably pretty typical at that age. Her mom was trying to show her how to fold clothes and she said she didn't need to learn. WHY? Because she was going to marry someone rich. Which reminded me of a friend in college who was only going to college to be smart enough to meet and talk to a man with money. What's the allure of a man with money?

Being who I am, I had a little story with some words of wisdom for my friend's daughter...I told her about a guy I was friends with in high school who was the richest kid at our school. I was ONLY friends with him- never was romantically involved...never wanted to be and mostly because of his money. My friends in high school said I should marry him and I'd be set. But I was determined to be independent and make my own money, not someone else's, and that included my own parents. I had two jobs in high school. My rich friend had none. He lived off his parent's money.

I didn't hate him or envy him, I actually pitied him. He looked bored most of the time. He could do almost whatever he wanted when he wanted so nothing thrilled him. And his allure to me...was that his money didn't thrill me either.

A couple of years out of high school, he got in an argument with his parents and it was bad enough that they cut him off. He also got a girl pregnant too. So there he was- no job, no experience for a job, no parent's money, and a baby on the way. I'm still friends with him and he went on to be a roadside tree trimmer...not making any more money than the average American. The lesson of course is money can literally disappear overnight. The stock market crashes, a recession, the "dot com" collapse, health issues. All this can lead to debt and bankruptcies. Money is not an answer and nothing is guaranteed.

Are women all about money?

Men tend to rate their self-worth based on their paycheck. Looks are a valuable asset in a woman just as money is a valuable asset in a man. Since primal times, women who were attractive were more likely to be sought by men and start a family (reproduce) amd men who were more stable were more likely to be able to keep that family (survival).

Here's where it gets screwed up. Instinctively women have always been attracted to a man with stability. In caveman days this was a strong man, a hero type. When women have kids, we need a partner. We tend to the home and children, they hunt and get dirty. In our world today, things are upside down.

In those days of the cave it was best to have a strong strapping beefy man who could fight a tiger and hunt for buffalo...or something like that. But now, that's led to women being attracted to all the wrong men- using some men for money and seeking bad boys who have all the hero characteristics but not much money in their pocket No longer is the beefy stud the most stable. Today the geeky nerd is likely more stable with more money.

And some women are about the money...I have a strong opinion about them so I guess I'll share it. I think they are similar to prostitutes or someone who would sell their soul to the devil. I once had a man with money proposition me. He told me I was the girl he wanted to marry and have his children. The catch- he wanted women on the side for his other pleasures in life. In my experience, and knowing other women who've shared their experiences- there is always a catch to a man with money (and selling your soul to the devil) and the women who seek only men with money are open to all of those "catches".

His Way...or you're flat broke on your ass

The control factor is a turn-off about men with money. Many of them believe people are controlled by money- people are puppets and everyone has a price for the almighty dollar. For the most part, wealthy men are right. People will do their bidding for money.

I know women who've married wealthy and believed, at the time, they won the lottery. Later they were the ones who had been abused, divorced and/or worse off than they were before. They were controlled and bought. They were made meek and subservient, broke and broken down. When you put a price on yourself, you may gain money, but lose self-worth.

My experience with wealthy men...didn't usually make it past the first date. My experience without rich men in my life...priceless. I have wisdom, good friends, lessons learned, my own identity, freedom.

Income and cheating

Studies have revealed income and cheating are linked, but here's the deal- men who had little to no income and depended on someone else, like their female partner were more likely to cheat AND men who made far more money than their partner were also very likely to cheat.

I believe a man with money does not have limitations, including cheating on their partner. When you have money, you have less restrictions and more access, including ways to make a mess and clean it up. Famous people are infamously known for getting in trouble- drugs, prostitution, dog fighting, etc. More recently... Whitney Houston who had her underage daughter drinking alcohol in a club.

Slavery and Prostitution

Why are so many people controlled by money? It started with slavery. The idea that people were bought is no different than some of peoples' ideas about how money rules the world now. We still have the notion that people can be bought...and it's true for the most part. Men bellieve women can be bought because of the oldest known profession of course...prostitution.

The Good, The Bad, and The Rich (men)

Things you should know about men with money:

  • Some have money because they are good at saving it, but these people are usually extra cautious about someone taking it
  • They expect to get their way and can throw man tantrums when they don't
  • Money usually substitutes for a good personality
  • Their experiences and stories of their life are often superficial- "I've been here, I've been there". "I have this, I have that"
  • They expect money to impress you
  • You will never be privy to their finances, even when married to them.
  • They are more thrilled by things money can't buy- like manipulating people or crime or other troublesome things
  • They often believe they are above the law
  • Money will always be the most important thing- #1 to them
  • If it's family money, they are often at the bidding and forever enslaved to their parents (or family member who has the money
  • If it's money worked for, they can be workaholics
  • Not all rich men are bad. Some are philanthropic, many share without expectations, some don't flaunt it
  • They can lose the money as quick as they got it.



Does money change a person?

I love the studies done on lottery winners because it makes me feel better about not winning the lottery in the two times I've ever bought a ticket. Yes, I know the odds are against me, buying a ticket every 15 years, but the good news is I can still be happy if I never win.

Research supports that lottery winners are no happier than the average person (some cases less happy) within just three months of winning the money. Also it's been determined if the person who won the lottery was not happy before winning then they will likely not be happy after winning either. But if they were happy before then they are more likely to be happy afterwards. Does money buy happiness? I think not.

Yes, money changes a person. I've seen it in my own life. The more money I have, the more I worry about losing it. I set myself up in a lifestyle that makes me worry about losing that lifestyle. I've seen it in many people- same thing. Americans fear losing money when they have it and fear appearing as if they don't have much money when they don't have it. America is in debt for those reasons...but that's another topic.

Answer this?

Would you be with someone for money?

  • Yes
  • No
See results without voting

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Comments 20 comments

ctbrown7 4 years ago

This is an interesting hub to think about. I'm not sure that all rich people can be clumped together, but there certainly are many people who "love" money more than anything else--and that's what changes them.


tsmog profile image

tsmog 4 years ago from Escondido, CA

Hi Ittezl. Succumbing to mainly reading what appears on my home page and research, I realize I miss your work. Synchronicity has presented a wonderful gift with this article today. With almost every stitch of clothes waiting on me, since the dryer is broke, I have been procrastinating. :(

Playing read what pops up today this hub is a treat. I mean come on now, today (03/30/2012 - Friday, whew I wasn't sure for a moment :) the mega-million is at $640,000K. I bought 'a' ticket.

Dissonance is looming nearby. Do I tear up the ticket? This article offers hope for the "working class hero" - John Lennon.

Thank You!

Tim


Lauryallan profile image

Lauryallan 4 years ago

Izetti, you always write such thought proving Hubs that I love. I have seen rich men with poor girls and you are completely right. It doesn't work out well for the girl in most cases because the man has all the power. It's not really a relationship between equals, it's more a case of how long that girl can hold onto him and the crap she is willing to take to keep him.

I would love to comment on rich women with poor guys but I don't know any.


izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

tsmog~ I'm glad I won the hub article lottery and my hub popped up for you to read. entertaining comment. Love John Lennon and that quote! And I even know what dissonance means- you speak my language. I told my mom and husband to buy a lotto ticket. I don't want to be burdened with all that money should I win.

Lauryallan~ good points. Rich men and poor girls- seen too...so many times. Relationships between equals even down to education levels seem to fair best according to research. I guess that's a true partnership and let's face it... tough times during a marriage require a good partnership above all.


izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

ctbrown~ thanks for stopping by. No not everyone can be clumped up into one group- I made some comments about that in the hub. But money makes the world go round cause there are more people than not (i'm willing to bet) that money does something to them.


TheManWithNoPants profile image

TheManWithNoPants 4 years ago from Tucson, Az.

You did a great job putting this little number together, and the subject is interesting. I've known a lot of people with money and even had a little myself. I'm a little bit different because money has always just been a byproduct of my obsessions. Money itself doesn't really mean much to me. The thing about money is that it's not stagnant. You're either making money or you're losing money, so no matter how much money you have you have to stay in the business of making money, at least until you retire, then you're still watching those investments and making sure they're productive. My point is this; generally guys who have money are focused on making it, and everything else is more or less in the background. That's not 100%. I know some guys with a crap load of money who put their wives on a pedestal, but a girl sure can't count on it unless she's a babe and hooks up with some old fart who's looking for some sweet boobs and no brains. Yeah, that can work.

I agree with everything you said here. If a girl is looking for a rich guy, she may find herself one, but might find that she's the loneliest girl in the world, with a nice car and expensive clothes.

Excellent job sis. Love it when you do this stuff!

jim


drbj profile image

drbj 4 years ago from south Florida

Verrrry interesting take on the subject, izettl, which I intend to ponder further. In the meantime, is that guy with the build and the tattoo in your photo my favorite stud muffin, Mark Wahlberg? Love his films y'know.


izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

drbj~ yes, when i think of a great male hero type of stud, I tend to think of Marky (my pet name for him). lol. Thanks for stopping by.


izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Jim~ I was interested in what you had to say about this...cause like you said you've had money and not had money. And it didn't make you any different? Maybe just a little more focused on keeping it and making it. I've known many women to sell their souls for a rich man...too bad. It was always a turn-off for me personally. I think you have a great point about mens' focus on the money and everything else is in the background. That is probably true more often than not. THanks for leaving your 2 cents.


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 4 years ago from malang-indonesia

I am glad to be humble man. Money isn't everything though we need this for everyday life. Women will attracted with pure love than just for promise. Man with a lot of money, of course also have a lot of promise come his lips. Very inspiring hub and thanks for share with us. Rated up and interesting!

Prasetio


Jeanine 4 years ago

"You can't hide your lying eyes" says it all... most men smart enough to make a lot of money are smart enough to see that the girl is there for the bucks or she's not... security is such a big part of a woman's life that if it bothers her that much, she should look for a rich man... like Jim said most guys that make a lot of money.. are interested in making a lot of money... money is not a bad thing, it's just very powerful in what it does and doesn't do... once those things are set... money is a good thing...


izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

It's best to be humble Prasetio!

Jeanine~ I love the Eagles (your lyric quote). Some men who have lots of money and marry a woman who wants that money, deserve each other. They are both all about money and if that suits them then fine.


Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

Marcy Goodfleisch 4 years ago from Planet Earth

I am still amazed to hear young girls (daughters of people I know) equate going to college with finding a husband. I'm also amazed at the men who haven't yet learned to recognize the gold diggers.


izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

Marcy~ I absolutely believe that in many cases women get robbed of a truly good life when they seek a man with money, overlooking other qualities and using it as a back-up plan.


shamelabboush profile image

shamelabboush 4 years ago

No matter what we say or do or even poetize, women or men will always seek something like that. They will seek eventually some rich guy or girl thinking that this is the ultimate goal.. very insightful article.


izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

THanks for stopping by Shamelabboush


STEVEW13 profile image

STEVEW13 4 years ago from Norwich, England

This hub is brilliant, and it is so sad that there are so many people out there who are drawn to money like moths to the light. But 99% of these people will find out the hard way, and there will always be somebody who tried to tell them! Really insightful and an eyeopener. Thanks for sharing


izettl profile image

izettl 4 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

SteveW~ Most people have to find out the hard way because money is so enticing. I would never sacrifice my freedoms or body or self for money. Thank you for stoppping by.


izettl profile image

izettl 3 years ago from The Great Northwest Author

ElSeductor~ The way I see it is you better like the person not just for money because money can go away overnight...then what? I think I heard that people are not any happier making more than $75,000/year.


torrilynn profile image

torrilynn 3 years ago

Very nice hub and very informational. I remember once my friend said that same thing that she was going to marry someone who was rich. I looked at her and scoffed. I guess you never think of the consequences or what could possibly go wrong if you do decide to marry someone rich, unless that situation actually happens.

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