Men Can Help Too


Heard something that really ran through me yesterday. I was watching television and a story came on about how there’s a man cave called the Men's Den within a mall in Ontario, Canada for the husbands or boyfriends of the wives or girlfriends that are doing their Christmas shopping. Now I know many of the men that read this will be in awe of such a concept but really? A man cave? Is it just me or is this ludicrous? How is it possible that these men get to play while their wives hustle amongst the crowds in search of perfect gifts for others. Wanna know what’s in it? Well it’s a 5,000 square foot room that has video games, a golf putting area, large screen TV and foosball tables. A concierge is also set up to provide gift suggestions for the clueless and even help these temporary cave dwellers wrap what they may have purchased. Is this fair? I don’t think so but do their wives?

So where is it written that the man can’t be of any assistance to their wives or girlfriends during shopping or any other time-consuming chore? I mean, there are plenty of things that I don’t want to do that I have to do because life is not all about having fun. (Did I just say that? I am getting old.) But wouldn’t it be nice to have someone with you in the trenches for such chores? I had a conversation with a 70-something co-worker who told me that out of all the ripping and running that she does, her husband just sits at home and watches television. And when she gets home he’s rested but somehow manages to give off several sighs as if he’s run the same rampant goose chase as she. So is it that these women are allowing these men to get away with such laziness because they feel their husbands will only slow them down? Or are these husbos pretending to slow them down? And why is it that the male counterparts of these couples don’t feel it would be helpful for them to stick out their boredom and help their wives? Do they not realize how heavy gift carrying can get? And gifts aren’t the only thing that us women might need help with. We need help with toting the groceries, washing dishes and plenty of other things. I believe certain stigmas carry over from the “olden days” where it’s not the man’s responsibility to do the shopping, chores and cooking. Today’s a new day fellas and men should lend a hand to do the laundry, aid in the kitchen and help with grocery shopping. Lame excuses like, “I don’t know how to do laundry” or purposefully mixing reds with the whites to make sure you’re viewed as a klutz at doing laundry, are a thing of the past.

Women, I challenge you to challenge your slacking mate to do more around the house to help you out. Call them out on their bluffs of saying they don’t know how to do anything or going out of their way to prove to you that they don’t know how to do something. You may have to bear with them until they show you that they are capable. And don’t let them psyche you out. Have them do laundry until they learn to not put that red sock in with the whites. Over and over your whites may be pink until he gets it right. So be it. And let him burn a few dishes until he creates a dish that makes Emeril feel incompetent. Alright maybe that's overboard, but at least until he no longer burns a dish. Don’t let him make you think he can’t cook or do anything else unless he has a physical or mental disability enabling him to do such things. I know it may seem like you're treating them like a child. But...well okay, you are. But they are behaving like one in pretending they are incapable of helping you out. Though it’s great to claim that you are superwoman, you are not and in the end you only tire yourself out and drain all your energies. It’s not worth it when you can have some help from your mate.

And to be clear, I'm not bashing those that do lend a shoulder to help tote a shopping bag or two for their wives. If you are in the percentage that does help your wife, keep up the good work. I'm sure your wife shows her appreciation for the things that you do to help her. Also, not all is at a loss with this Men's Den. Though there isn't a fee for taking advantage of its coolness, donations are accepted and donated towards Prostate Cancer Canada, a national organization to fight against prostate cancer. Which by the way is the most common form of cancer to affect Canadian men.

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Comments 8 comments

wildove5 profile image

wildove5 4 years ago from Cumberland, R.I.

Loved it!!! I also wrote a similar post! Check it out! Mine was about selfish men, Out of all my Hub's this one received the most comments, ALL by men! LOL


NiaG profile image

NiaG 4 years ago from Louisville, KY Author

Uh oh. Thanks for the heads up wildove5. Ha! Glad you liked it and I'll take a gander at yours. Thanks for reading. Have a good day!


THEHuG5 profile image

THEHuG5 4 years ago

Lemme just play devils advocate for 1 second here...I think some wives are just control freaks. They complain about their man not helping but then when he tries to help all she does is nag and complain about the way he is doing it. If someone is the type of person where everything has to be a certain way then they need to just do it themselves.

However,I do know plenty of men who just sit around and don't even offer to help with chores and shopping and things. I think people just need patience and communication to get the job done. Good hub I will definitely be voting this up!


NiaG profile image

NiaG 4 years ago from Louisville, KY Author

Thought about that too as I listened to my coworker. It's sometimes easier to do it your way and let them get out of your way. But I know when I was in a relationship I hated the thoughts of not having help so I demanded it. Hopefully men help their mate these days. Thanks for stopping by THEHug5! Have a wonderful day!


Jean Bakula profile image

Jean Bakula 4 years ago from New Jersey

I understand. When I was younger and early in our marriage, I didn't want to be petty, so took on much housework and errands, although I worked the same hours and went to college two nights a week. There came a time we had the "talk." You know what I mean. But after all these years, it only works for a few weeks. Any ideas?


NiaG profile image

NiaG 4 years ago from Louisville, KY Author

Well Jean Bakula, I'm probably not the one to ask because I'm very spiteful. If it were me I would do something simple, if your husband won't help wash clothes I would only wash mine and not his. Other than that, it may just be something that you have to remind him of every so often. Or just ask him for help when you need it. Telling him to do a reoccurring chore may not be the answer. Not reiterating to him could cause him to slack off in time.

Asking him what you need to do at the time you need it might be the best answer. There is absolutely nothing wrong with speaking out about what you need from your spouse. Or if you want to go further, put up an eraser board listing the work around the house that you would like for him to do. When he sees your list he'll have no choice but to remember what you wish of him. And if he can not handle you asking him to do simple things around the house to help you out then something else needs to be discussed about your relationship. Hope this helps some.


Jean Bakula profile image

Jean Bakula 4 years ago from New Jersey

NiaG,

You made me laugh! I normally am not spiteful. But I was feeling crabby the other day. Every piece of laundry I took out of the washer or dryer was inside out! So I folded it all neatly when it was done, and placed my husband's stuff in his spot, and my son's stuff in his spot. All neat, clean, and inside out!


NiaG profile image

NiaG 4 years ago from Louisville, KY Author

Ha! Good subtle form of spite Jean Bakula! Hopefully not too subtle to where they didn't notice it. :-) Good for you!

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