Men leaving wives for Asian Women

The Observation

Asia, especially Japan can be a dangerous place for married couples from western countries. Many couples arrive here happy, but in many unfortunate situations the wife has been known to go home alone. The reason for this is that the husband/boyfriend in many cases has found an interest in something or somebody else, something new, something he finds attractive and willing to take a chance with. Being in Japan for over a decade it is very easy to observe this unfortunate pattern, although this is not the case for every body. The reason I say Japan is because of the large number of expats coming over here with families on their 1-3 year assignments. As part of my job I handle the air/sea shipment logistics of their removals so I know who is who. E.g. Mr. Smith comes to Japan in 2008 with his family and then we move his family back out to the US with separate containers for him and his wife in 2011. We will probably be moving him an his new Japanese wife back out to the US a few years down the line.

Why Japanese Women?

Even after being here for over a decade, I can still say the Asian women are a very attractive race. Asian Women are not all westerners' cup of tea however the majority of foreign men I know who live in Japan do find a high percentage of Japanese attractive. Not to say that western and women of other races are not attractive but foreign men do often comment on the percentage of attractive women here in Japan.

A second reason is that the majority of Japanese women really do make a big effort to look their best on all occasions. Woman back in my country although just as attractive many not feel the need to look their absolute best every single day of the week, whereas many Japanese women do. I must admit I have seen some awesome transformations on the trains seeing the before and after make up. In many case the after make-up looks like a completely different person, sometimes bad, sometimes good.

The third reason is due to the cultural background. Although recently changing, Japan is and has always been a very male dominated country, and women grow up with these principles understanding what their role is in society. When a foreigner dates a Japanese women he immediately notices the traditional housewife type of service he gets from day one. The feeling of being treated with importance, the feeling of being served upon with a constant smile. Not that this is anything better than being with a western woman however most western men in Japan fall weak at the knees for this. However, a few years down the line married with kids and western men realize that there is actually no difference at all.

How do Japanese men feel?

Most Asian men, Japanese in this case feel no way threatened at all. They say that many foreigners have a strange taste in women and tend to date the ones that Japanese men have no interest in.

I have heard this a number of times and I must admit there is some truth in it. Japanese women who are too ugly to date Japanese men, and go to foreigners is very incorrect, however there are many Japanese women who have physical attributes which Japanese men do not find attractive and they are dating foreigners e.g. Japanese women on the larger or curvier side or have a darker complexion. In many cases I am able to point out the type of Japanese women who would date foreigners, and can even advise my friends "What about her?". These certain type of women although attractive would have difficultly having relationships with local Japanese men and tend to turn to foreigners.

I know very few foreigners who have dated/married your typical "gyaru" type Japanese women, with the ridiculously high heels, multiple brand bags, caked on make-up, 4-5cm false eyelashes, blond hair and weird color contacts lenses. These types seem to be reserved for the Japanese men however they will usually have no problem in becoming friends with foreigners.

Recently there have actually been a lot of marriages between Japanese man and foreign women. Not just women in the entertainment business looking to get a Visa,but professional western women are interested in Japanese men nowadays.

Expats in Japan

A very large number of expats have relocated to Japan this year, much higher then the previous years. After their projects are over I am wondering how many will still be with their partners from back home or with new Japanese partners.

More by this Author


Comments 99 comments

diogenes profile image

diogenes 5 years ago from UK and Mexico

I could speak for the US as I lived there for several years, but I will confine my remarks to Britain.

I would not be surprised a jot if a British man left his UK wife for an Asian. British women are selfish, hectoring, degenerate and ugly! No wonder many from here find love overseas. Bob


prairieprincess profile image

prairieprincess 5 years ago from Canada

This is very surprising. I had never heard of men actually leaving their wives for an Asian woman while overseas. What a blow for those women who left their friends and family behind to follow their man! Good article. Very informative.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 5 years ago from Japan Author

Diogenes, LOL I understand you very much, a lot of western guys think the same not all Britsh women tho.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 5 years ago from Japan Author

Prairieprincess, This is all too common here in Japan. It's a shame. I've know guys personally who have come here with there wives from back home. They act they are serious, faithfull and commited but I know they are struggling !!!


Aaron 5 years ago

O sure


Jennuhlee profile image

Jennuhlee 5 years ago from Pennsylvania

*Sigh* Asian women are very beautiful, the point about how grew up and their views and what not really make a lot of sense.Really original idea for a hub, thanks for sharing:]


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 5 years ago from Japan Author

Jennuhlee, thanks. Simply my observations from living here so long.


nested dolls 5 years ago

I feel this is really funny. If you in true love, I don't think any level of attractiveness can take you away from the person you love. You find a person attractive because you love her and not the other way round.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 5 years ago from Japan Author

@nested dolls - Well that's what most people think. But how many married couples relationships are actually true love 100%.

Expects come to Asia, expecting, new, country, new job, new lifestyle.


amalowze 4 years ago

Finding someone attractive is not just a physical attribute. It also depends on the level of treatment and importance/respect that you find in that person. In the female dominated, feminist oriented western culture, men have been wussied to ash. It just takes too much work to jump through stupid hoops just to win a woman and to maintain the relationship. Asian women are brought up to know the difference in men and women and their ROLES in life. Anytime you invert or reverse a structured agenda, it is chaos, which is what we see in the western world, the US and Britain. Look at the divorce rate. 90 percent of it is caused and initiated by the high strung, egoistical and selfish women with the incentives of alimony, custody of the children and child support from the dope smoking judges, why wouldn't they be bitches?

I have lived in Asia before and you hardly see a woman raise her voice at or talk disrespectfully at any man, even when the man is being a jerk. They maintain their composure and feminity and rather walk, not stump away. Those same asian women who come here to the US become like the ones here, why? the system...

I am divorced from a goddamn psycho bitch who is a control freak. Tantrums, nagging and sarcasm is how she controls everything. I dont' even see my paycheck, she controls the money too. I came home to an empty house, her parents being the same control freaks, came to our house, berated and insulted me because their daughter is unhappy, packed everything and took my wife and daughters 3000 miles away, filed for separation, 1800 dollars child support and no visitation for me. I have been the best dad you can imagine, my daughter won't' eat or sleep till dad comes home. I shower her, eat with her, put her to sleep among a lot of other things, I make twice as much as my ex but I haven't seen my children in two years except on skype which started 4 months ago because the judge ordered it. Computer is broke so no skype but the day it was ordered, it started working. I find money besides the full child support being garnished from my check to go see my children and she won't let me see them on arrival except supervised, when she has no reason to do so. she has the childrens passports. She and her family stole my private documents and passports from my house in my absence. visiting my children for just 5 days in a hotel costs me not less than 1800 dollars, in addition to the full child support and daycare and medical expenses. They gave her half of my retirement on top of hers, saddled me with all the mortgage on the house we both own, which is now in the negative. This is just the tip of the iceberg in the story. I am getting angry even writing this.

So sure, i will go for a woman who doesn't cut me down as a man, in a heartbeat. SMH!


InspiredButterfly 4 years ago

There is beauty in every race. You must really see the person not for just who they want you to see but the person that's beneath it all. Just like a woman can't change a man, a country can't change a woman. There can only be an influence that's it...


Lesley UK 4 years ago

@diogenes - Well if we're going to play the generalisation game, here's some food for thought. British men are fat, ugly, lazy, ignorant, sexist and most of them spend their days jerking off while watching porn morning, noon and night and then wonder why their wives/girlfriends leave them. The older ones think it's their God given right to chase after girls young enough to be their daughters for sex which is just disgusting. The age gaps between the men and the girls is bordering on paedophilia. And @amalowze, maybe in the 50s and 60s women would stand there and tolerate the rantings of some utter jerk but not anymore. Women have been fed up for YEARS by the way men have treated them and spoken to them. Why should we listen respectfully to a total ***hole? I mean seriously? Maybe you'd prefer it if we flounced off shaking our sexy asses at you while tottering around on high heels. Would that soften the blow? The misogny on here is hilarious.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

I agree Generalization can be a bit insulting, however most western guys here do find, Asian women more attractive. However that seems to the oppinion of many guys new to Japan and are looking for a change that's all, they want something different. Japanese women are all about trying to look the best, clothes, figure, hair, make, girliness. It's like competition. They may appear to be more attractive overall (the J-girl image), but physicaly they are no more attractive than any other race.

I didn't mention in the article but once these foreigners get married to their Japanese (dream girls), and have children, all that bull Sh*t that the Japanese women put up with during the dating period, suddenly comes to an end. The relationship becomes difficult since they are not used to the confrontation (which would be normal back in the UK), and they want out and come running back to the US or UK or wherever.


ann10 4 years ago

One day, these Asian women that have lured these men to them will become old (because everyone does eventually)and their face won't be so fair to look at anymore and all that submissive behavior won't matter to the western man anymore because what western men seem to care more about than anything is looks. When he moves on to a yonger woman, the one he leaves behind will then know what it is like to be left for another woman. She will then have something in common with the western woman whose husband she stole.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

Ann10 - The way it works here in Japan is, foreign men will probably get divorced a long way down the line. After that they can't be bothered with all the hassle and usually just leave the country.


messy marshella profile image

messy marshella 4 years ago from Philippines

Interesting hub. As well as comments. Haha.

I find it amusing that it is almost the same as the situation here in the Philippines. Many foreigners look for wives here, and most of them end up being attracted to those who are ugly in the eyes of other Filipinos. That is just weird.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

Is that so?


David 4 years ago

Honestly, I see clearly that the true point about the charm of oriental girls is it:

"When a foreigner dates a Japanese women he immediately notices the traditional housewife type of service he gets from day one. The feeling of being treated with importance, the feeling of being served upon with a constant smile."

And its not only this point, they are all the things that are accompanied in the midset of a girl that act in that way.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

This is exactly true. And many foreigners here say a similar things. Things drastically change after being married with children though.


divacratus profile image

divacratus 4 years ago from India

This is something new. I never knew Westerners were so attracted to Asian girls. Interesting hub!


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

Divacratus - Here in Japan I am yet to met any western man who is not attracted to Japanese women.


Kate 4 years ago

this is why i love the New Madrid fault line i care about the New Madrid fault line


Zubair Ahmed profile image

Zubair Ahmed 4 years ago

Interesting hub. I must admit when I was on a business trip to China recently I was amazed with how beautiful the women looked there.

I guess my next visit will have to be to Japan.


tattuwurn 4 years ago

@messy: funny but true. Foreign guys who are in a relationship or married to a Filipina whose looks don't cut for the Filipino men, I think and I see they're genuinely in love with their ladies. I think the Filipina, conventionally beautiful or not, has a certain charm, and some other attributes (like other Asian women), that lure foreign men that they find refreshing, sort of.

Well, as we should know, you don't seek for love; love finds you, even in the unexpected places. Love transcends all races. Unfortunately, because of love anyone is bound to be in pain.


tattuwurn 4 years ago

How about John and Yoko? As we may have known John left his first wife for Yoko. Yoko is not conventionally pretty nor is the typically submissive Japanese woman. She's an avant-garde artist and maybe her weirdness appealed to John because he was sort of weird too. That's compatibility I think.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

Women are indeed truly lovely here.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

The weird ones especially get love from the foreigners. Especially ones that don't get along with Japanese men.


MooMyuu profile image

MooMyuu 4 years ago from Nashville, Tennessee USA

My thing is, asian women, particularly Japanese and Korean, have PERFECT legs. I'm so jealous about that. I'm a curvy, larger white girl. But, the crazy thing is, just as much as most white guys have some amount of the yellow fever, asian men are VERY attracted to white women; the bustier ones in particular. I've never had any trouble attracting the attention of asian men, white men don't even look twice at me. I only date asian men now. But, I kind of have that same homey attitude that asian women are raised with (it's my traditional, southern upbringing I think). I can understand the attraction to the asian race. As an American, they're exotic and enticing; very different from our own races and cultures. I can't go back to my own type after being exposed to theirs. I feel more comfortable with them.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

MooMyuu, I have noticed recently that many foreign women are dating Japanese here in Japan also.


wjack2010 profile image

wjack2010 4 years ago from United Kingdom

Great Hub right there! Let's all be honest, some Asians (being majority) are much more attractive than the females in our own areas.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

Wjack2010 well most foreigners do think that, especially the ones who are newer to living in Asian.


Kenja profile image

Kenja 4 years ago from Long Island, NY

Unique, and thought-provoking. Forget the men-as-dogs story (that's old news), the story behind the story here may be our present cross-cultural explosion of romance, hooking up and marriage. It used to be just Hawaii, but today its everywhere, and few look twice at black-white couples, Anglo-Asian, Anglo-Hispanic, Indo-European, Russian-American, or any other combination of the above. That is in and of itself a good thing: it's healthy for the human race, deeper inter-cultural exchange, and maybe even world peace.

As for men who go for Asian women, Japanese in particular, thinking them more compliant (the servile geisha of old), that may be true for a few, but most modern Japanese women are as independent and savvy as European and urban American women, and so many of those guys might be in for a big surprise.

An insecure or unsophisticated male can always marry a women 15 or even 20 years younger, and not have to travel to find someone who swoons, says only yes and serves him 3 meals a day, and happily so. That is until those young girls grow up, and get smart.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

Thanks for your comment and thouhts Kenja. Actually many women in Japan marry foreigners because they dont really fit into the typical Japanese housewife stereotype. Their indepenance and self assertivness may even put them off Japanese men but the foreigners still believe that they would have an easier life by marrying them. Many years down the line it all ends up the same though.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

You are welcome


kylesanderson 4 years ago

This is a sad truth. Love has lost its value to me in recent years. I'm glad you brought this up.


Abdul Wahabone profile image

Abdul Wahabone 4 years ago from Yanbu Al-Bahar, Al Madinah, Saudi Arabia

Nice article and quite interesting, But as an asian, in my country, its the other way around, asian men are attracted to western women


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

It is truth in many Asian countries but not for everybody.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

Thanks Abdul, and yes in some Asian countries the men do like the western women, but not so much in the far east ,but it is changing though.


Kenja profile image

Kenja 4 years ago from Long Island, NY

Kyle A., forgive me sounding like an old school marm, but it's never love that loses its value. Love is always a great thing, if not THE thing. Sex, good sex, ain't so bad either... What can lose its value, meaning, spark or intrinsic joy is a given relationship, be it a friendship, dating or marriage. In fact, once I was going to write a book entitled, "Being Married Sucks, Being Single Sucks." My guess is that it would be a runaway best seller.


BDhire profile image

BDhire 4 years ago

Japanese Girl are so cute I like them :)


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

Thanks for your input.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

Many westerners do.


taskeinc profile image

taskeinc 4 years ago from Atlanta

You have a very shallow, biased, and stereotypical opinion of Asian Women. Also, any American male who will leave his wife for an Asian woman was probably going to leave anyway, but if he ruined his marriage primarily because he met an Asian woman, he's a fool and the woman has no clue to what type of guy she's getting. Surely you don't think he will treat her any better than his ex-wife. I was married to an Asian woman for 6 years and there's really no differnce, because what matters is the heart. Not how a person looks, not her nationality, not her charm or wit (which often times can be superficial), but her character, her soul, and her spirit, that is what matters.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

Taskenic - Thank you for your input however, the main point I was trying to convey is the actions of western men towards eastern asian women. And this goes for all types whether its stereotypical or not. It basically I pattern I have observed from living here for over a decade.


jonmorter profile image

jonmorter 4 years ago from USA

It depends on people, I think and commitment to your partner


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

Definately, it depends on the individual however there is a common trend here in the east.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

ElSeductor - Yes, especially in Japan since appearance is a top priority. All thoses women putting on their make up on the trains !! Rather irritating though. However there are a large group of Japanese that date foreigners who are not interested in keeping up with the typical Japanese image and fashion.


Don Fairchild profile image

Don Fairchild 4 years ago from Belgrade, ME

Speaking from observational experience (watching friends going through this process) it is clear as to what is happening.

Most eastern females are intensely interested in landing a rich sensitive western male so they can live the ideal life as an American Princess. They also are more than happy to devote a lot of attention to the western male in order to "Please" him.

Most western males are disappointed with the "Liberated" western female that is only interested in her job and spending, she could care less how her hubby feels.

Western women in general are self centered, only interested in their own world of credit cards, cell phones and impressing their girl friends on how cute and successful they are. Eastern women are still focused on the older values of taking care of their men and family which still rings true for western men.


TheApril profile image

TheApril 4 years ago

Frankly, I am a little surprised by the level of vehemence by the men here.


taskeinc profile image

taskeinc 4 years ago from Atlanta

Disagreeing with an opinion is not vehemence (which means zeal, or enthusiasm, I think you meant belligerence). I happen to have some experience in what the author is talking about. That doesn't necessarily make my opinion right, but it does qualify me to have an opinion, which is in contrast with the article. We can agree to disagree on these articles, that doesn't mean we are mean spirited or upset, just voicing an opinion.


loveofnight profile image

loveofnight 4 years ago from Baltimore, Maryland

I actually have never heard this subject before, but I guess anything is possible.The humility of these women along with their beauty can be a great attraction.......interesting hub


Kenja profile image

Kenja 4 years ago from Long Island, NY

Task/B. E.: RE 10 comments back -- you are right on the money. Nationality matters little; character, intelligence, integrity, loyalty, kindness are all. Anything else is just a generalization -- and generalizations are just outlines, and nearly as often untrue as true. Ken


TheApril profile image

TheApril 4 years ago

Taskeinc, I'm not sure how you would know that I was using the word incorrectly. The word means passionate, possibly with a tinge of violence. I did mispeak when I said the men. I meant some men.

Diogenes - "British women are selfish, hectoring, degenerate and ugly! No wonder many from here find love overseas."

Amalowz - "I am divorced from a goddamn psycho bitch who is a control freak."

I think these remarks fit that definition. I believe you made an assumption about what I meant. What exactly did you base that on? I didn't even disagree with the main point of the article. I just commented that I was surprised by the level of passion exhibited by some of the men.

I apologize that you got swept up with my misuse of the word "the" when it should have been "some."


OfKingsandCapital profile image

OfKingsandCapital 4 years ago from Houston Texas

The mere existence of this article enrages me almost as much as the fact that people read it. You should all be ashamed of yourselves.

A man protects his wife and her inner desire should be to serve him. Going to Asia in search of a knock off bride is merely an excuse for a man to leave his relational duties. Sack up men.

Don't get me wrong, if your wife happens to be Asian that's great, but don't take her giving kindness as an excuse to compromise your own integrity.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

A lot of the points mentioned are generalizations and I hope people do not get offended or take things to heart however it is just an observed pattern.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

Loveofnight - Thank you


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

Taskenic - We are free to agree or disagree with articles here. That's what make debates interesting and keeps sites this this buzzing with activity.


Thelma Alberts profile image

Thelma Alberts 4 years ago from Germany

This is a very interesting hub. I enjoyed reading it especially the comments. I think some western men are just blinded by the way Asian women treated foreign men. It´s not really that they are very well served by the Asian women. It´s only the beginning of knowing each other. In the end the truth will come out. Some of the Asian women married "ugly" western men with the purpose of going abroad. Don´t tell me, they love the "ugly" foreign men. Asian women especially the Filipinas look first at how handsome the man is. Always! I have asked some of them what they´re reasons are and they always answered me of "just a stepping stone to go abroad". That´s not nice. It´s disgusting and shameful how it is now a days. Thinking of who I am married to for 3 decades for the seek of love without serving my man the Asian way.

Thanks for sharing this interesting hub. Have a great day!


AuroraJoy profile image

AuroraJoy 4 years ago from Ireland

One male friend commented to me that he liked oriental women because they were "petite", child-like and yet also very highly sexed.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

Thanks. Men who seem ugly to western women may seem a little more attractive to certain Japanese females.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

Some but not all.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

Thanks, simple observation only.


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 4 years ago

I don't know much about Asian women except for a couple of them here in the U.S. and they were typical women: one was a sweetie and the other was the bitch from hell. My husband lived in Japan for several years and even graduated college there. He likes Japanese women, but he has two things to say about them. He says they may give the impression of sweetness and humility, but at home they rule the roost. He also says that they are beautiful when young, but that changes drastically with middle age. He says some age so badly that you would not recognize them for the same person. I reminded him that western women do too.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

MizBejabbers - What your husband says is true in many cases (not all) many Japanese women do give the impression of sweetness, until marrigae and children. Then they run the show at home. Any they look very good until the middle but as your husband says, the change can be drastic. Your husband probably saw the older ages Japanese women with their backs bent more then 90 degrees, so far down they can't even see ahead, but they are mainly the ones that worked in the field.


By Lori profile image

By Lori 4 years ago from USA

Unfortunately, reading here, there seems to be something misogynistic going on here, while at the same time talking up the qualities of certain other women, which is a little contradictory of course since misogynists don't respect women in general. If someone has to go to another country and are looking for meek women they might want to take a long hard look at themselves.


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 4 years ago

By Lori, I agree wit;h you 100%. I've known several men who were looking at foreign websites to find wives. What bothered me the most was a friend's son who is carrying on a long-distance relationship with a woman in the Phillipines. He has gone to see her twice, and it seems that she may have some connection to the Phillipine Mafia. When my friend said that it was "none of her business what her son did", I warned her that a man doesn't just marry an Asian woman, he marries her family, too. I asked her that if the mafia shows up at your door, will you still think it's none of your business?


Coach Grandpa profile image

Coach Grandpa 4 years ago from Riverview, Florida

Interesting HUB. Good discussion. Been to Korea during my AF career...seen the same thing there. Also see a lot of young boys away from home the first time fall in lust, marry a Korean girl then take her back to the states. A few months later shes divorcing him and moving on after taking all his money. It all comes down to the choices we make, but Asian women are something else.


RichusFridum profile image

RichusFridum 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

I think most men would find a submissive and catering Asian woman to have more attractive characteristics than the "independant-minded", self-centered westernized woman.

For this sole reason i have considered dating an Asian woman, (preferably Japanese!)

Great Hub though!


TheApril profile image

TheApril 4 years ago

I do agree that many women do not know how to give respect to men. These same women whine about how men treat them. However, even if two out of three women in the U.S. was the 1950s model housewife/whore-in-bed/perfect mother there would be someone on HubPages writing about how men were leaving their perfect wives for aggressive, bitchy women with no domestic skills.


RichusFridum profile image

RichusFridum 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

TheApril

TRUE!


RichusFridum profile image

RichusFridum 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

TheApril

TRUE!


kittykfree profile image

kittykfree 4 years ago

A good hub garners strong reactions. This is a good hub:)


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

Lori - It's sad if people are coming here to look, but a lot of foreigners just end of here due to work etc.. then they like to play. Most of them have no issues with western women though. Just a change.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

MizBejabbers - Sounds dangerous. Definitely not like that in Japan. I don't think many men have travelled all they over here just to marry. However Japanese is still behind when it come to accepting foreigners. Men do marry for love, but without marriage or a permanent Visa, life can be inconvenient in Japan. Especially with credit, mortages, loans etc.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

Coach Grandpa - It happens in Japan too. Years down the line, divorce, back to Japan and 100% child custordy.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

RichusFridum - Not all Japanese are submissive and catering though. In fact the ones that date foreigners are probable not. Good luck with the Aisan women though.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 4 years ago from Japan Author

ElSeductor - True but not all Japanese fit the stereotype, you'll be surprised.


Magdelene profile image

Magdelene 3 years ago from Okotoks

Wow, very interesting hub, it has prompted a lot of discussion for sure. I've had Asian male friends and oddly they did not wish to marry an Asian woman. But, that could be because their parents were trying to force the issue and some other stuff that was mentioned. I'm sure all have their own story and their own reasons why they want what they want. We can only hope that this type of situation does not happen to us.

Excellent, thought provoking Hub. Our past negative experiences with one type often affects our future choices, sometimes only to find it was not so different after all.


X-Con profile image

X-Con 3 years ago from The Free World!

Japanese home wreckers! Just kidding. I never knew that Westerners going to Japan ended up breaking up so many marriages. I can't even find a wife. I'm in another boat. Got any Japanese women that want to live with a white guy in Poland? Don't really have the money to go to Japan. Err... Sorry.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 3 years ago from Japan Author

Magdelene - Thank you, every does have their reasons why they chose certain people.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 3 years ago from Japan Author

X-Con - I'm sure there are many Japanese wanting to escape and live in Europe.


X-Con profile image

X-Con 3 years ago from The Free World!

"Escape"? Is it r really that bad there?


David 3 years ago

Asian women in genera make better wives, as simple of this; but I have to say Im agree with "prairieprincess", there are not enough justification to break up a marriage, even more in the case she showed.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 3 years ago from Japan Author

I think it's due to the culture and up bringing which makes Asian women seem to have more of the traditional house wife role, especially in Japan.


Butchdriveshaft 3 years ago

Hello, This is a good article and great discussion. I have been married to a Japanese woman for 10years now so I will discuss how things have been after having been in Japan and now the U.S. My wife is not the typical Japanese woman. She is 5'8, stocky, and is 47. I am 38, 5'8 and medium build. She is well educated (R.N charge nurse in O.R of hospital in Japan), and has her R.N license here. I admit that I was attracted to Asian women cause I was a bit naïve and thought that they were totally different from the narcissm and self-centerdness of western women. As we began dating it was wonderful. She helped cook, my place was clean, etc. Though she is 47, she appears 30-31 years of age. She wasn't submissive so to speak, but we definitely had the accepted gender roles and identities. She is very good with money (we both are). So in essence she totally fit what was written by the article. Many Japanese men wouldn't even touch her cause she was married to an abusive ex that had an alcohol problem. She is stocky so considered unattractive. She tans dark colored. When we moved to the states things changes some especially after we got married. She now is more independent, sometimes we argue cause she makes the money now. We wont divorce or anything over this, but I do believe that it is our culture and the issue with gender roles reversal and gender identites lost do to social industry factors. However I must say, that as many here have said, "Don't fall in love with the race or ideals of what some one is, but rather who they are". Don't objectify the woman, treat her as a unique individual. You must be accepting of change. Change is the only permanent thing in this world. Relationships change and once your relationship has major challenges ie- medical issues, loss of income, or children, you will see the turth behind the marriage and the words, "til death do us part". goodluck all and thankyou for the imformative article


epigramman profile image

epigramman 3 years ago

This is a very interesting hub subject as prepared and researched by an obviously world class writer. You have such an eclectic offering of hub topics to choose from - and yes I find Asian women very attractive so please send them to my humble little hubspace as I am 54 now and I have never been married and have no children. I don't have any money either - but I have a lot of love in my empty heart.

Sending you warm wishes and good energy from lake erie time ontario canada 2:17pm on a mild day in late winter


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 3 years ago from Japan Author

Epigramman, thank you very much. And yes many are very attractive.


Manny 3 years ago

I've dated Japanese woman. Wears thin boys wears thin.

Ends up feeling like watch paint dry. Come on you need expression in your life. Don't you think? That's why they created jails to remove expression in ones life :)

Ohh and the lady that said her hubby doesn't like asian woman it's not true he just doesn't santo to lose half his has to you


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 3 years ago from Japan Author

Well just being at the dating stage can wear thin. A foreigner getting married will be a lot more stable in japan but there are other issues once you have children.


As 3 years ago

I left my wife for a Japanese lady, I'm married to the Japanese lady now, best thing I ever did she's peaceful quite and loving.


Asian Plastic Surgery 3 years ago

Those Asian women had westernizing plastic surgery. They barely look ethnically Asian at all.


John 3 years ago

Do not waste your time with a Chinese woman. It will not matter if she is the younger materialistic generation or the older materialistic generation. She will always want and never give. Will sleep all the time and then complain about being tired while you constantly work long hours to honour your part of the relationship. Bad breath, bad sex and bad manners. Can not kiss and have no idea about the meaning of love. Not just another culture, has no human spiritual thinking what so ever.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 3 years ago from Japan Author

Sounds like you had a bad experience for two. I'm sure not everyone can say the same. Especially for Japanese women.


NIRMALA 2 years ago

I THINK MANY WHITE WESTERN WOMEN ARE GOOD AND NICE AND ANGELIC HEART, MAYBE BECAUSE SOME CULTURE MANY WHITE MEN SAID BAD THING ABOUT WHITE WOMEN, THEY COULD BE A BEST AND GOOD WIFE TOO IF HER MAN KNOWS HIS WORTH, WHITE MEN DOESN'T KNOW HOW TO RESPECT AND APPRECIATE WOMAN


Ted 2 years ago

Have lived in Asia for 5 years and this phenomena is easy to understand. In the USA, women often show considerable scorn and disdain for men, who they blame for all the ills of existence. In Asia, they are warm and loving and treat men well. Which woman would you choose?


butcdriveshaft 2 years ago

I agree with what you said ted. I am married to a Japanese woman and know this from first hand. I wouldn't put this to being white women, rather Americanized women.


Hezekiah profile image

Hezekiah 2 years ago from Japan Author

Understood, but 5-10 years down the line. People say that it all ends up the same.


butchdriveshaft 2 years ago

yeah I try to take people for who they are rather than where they came from. However after dating around a bit and being in some serious relationships, I got married to a Japanese woman and have been married here in the states for over 10 years now. That is why I was going on about the American culture. I have seen a lot of women that have adopted Americanized values and essentially tried to escape where they came from and end up poisoning the relationship...I guess it is kinda like the grass is always greener on the other side..


indian woman 2 years ago

my husband leave his ex-wife to marry me because I stole him, no you wrong, He leave his wife because he want, not because me, He never said that his married men, he said he is single after I find out his married, I try to leave him but I feel pity for him

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