Financial Problems in Marriage

Financial problems can weaken a marriage

My husband’s money is ours; what I make is mine! When a man and woman are deep in love, they do not usually sit down and discuss how they handle money. However, when that relationship progresses towards something more permanent, this particular subject of money can either make or break their connection. It is very hard to discard habits of big spending or frugality, no matter how much love there is between a couple.

Unexpected illness, disability, cultural expectations and other situations complicate money issues. Aging parents, siblings that need help, funerals, college tuition, weddings and other celebrations come up many times before you are prepared for them. It is important that a couple is on the same page when it comes to dealing with expensive events and circumstances.

Many times a husband will blame his wife for her lack of control when the money situation gets out of hand. The wife may blame the husband for not providing enough to suit her lifestyle. This ping-pong game usually happens when there is no mutual planning going on.

Children can be deeply affected by disagreements between their parents. It is important to work out these problems in a mature manner in a private place. If the children are old enough to work, they can be included in the planning after the husband and wife decide upon a budget. Then it is wise to reassess your financial situation every so often to see how things are going.

A husband, who is used to being the main breadwinner in the family, may suddenly find that he is unable to continue. This is a very difficult time when expectations need to be readjusted. Sometimes a woman may make a bigger income than her husband and this could result in his feeling inadequate. All of these issues need to be addressed quickly.

Money anxieties can ultimately wear down a marriage as it ages. Some just give up and go it alone. To avoid this sadness, couples that are just getting married would do well to live below their means until they get a grasp on their financial necessities. Taking large loans while living an extravagant lifestyle can lead to disaster.

Different approaches to money can be the source of many arguments in marriage. If it is a subject that surfaces often, it should be addressed in a calm and constructive way. It requires stepping back from where you are, putting out the heat of emotion and working together to save your marriage.

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Comments 10 comments

elayne001 profile image

elayne001 7 years ago from Rocky Mountains Author

TY TrudyVan for your comment. Appreciate your stopping by.


TrudyVan 7 years ago

Great hub ty for sharing a very serious topic


elayne001 profile image

elayne001 7 years ago from Rocky Mountains Author

Thank you Liana and Isileli Tupou. Wise words.


Isileli Tupou 7 years ago

great hub! I think that the question of whose money it is could be the root of the challenge. I believe that when a couple enter into marriage they made a commitment to leave their parents, siblings, friends and any other self interests and Cleve to one another as one. Therefore the money is now ours and all financial decision should be made as partners that are equal in this union.

i came across this statement and thought how very true that is when we are dealing with family matters including finance.

"It isn’t that difficult to be polite and fair towards church, business, and social acquaintances. But it require real compassion to be patient and unselfish with those who, over many years, share the same possessions, the same check book, and same name. . . . If we can’t learn to be compassionate in the bond of family life, we are probably not compassionate—Christlike—in any important sense."


Liana 7 years ago

Thanks for the great advice--still learning and growing.


elayne001 profile image

elayne001 7 years ago from Rocky Mountains Author

Thank you breakfastpop and gracenotes for your comments. I guess we mature together in a marriage and finances are included.


gracenotes profile image

gracenotes 7 years ago from North Texas

Some individuals function very well in certain areas of life. But they may be financially immature. One can prepare for possible areas of friction in marriage, but sometimes it's still a shock to witness how your new spouse handles money. That's because some of us didn't see that kind of behavior modeled in our nuclear family. Speaking from painful experience here!


breakfastpop profile image

breakfastpop 7 years ago

Great hub. Yes, money can be the source of many, many arguments. Couples need to sit down and talk frankly about finances and how they want to work things out. It is vitally important to do this, before you marry!


elayne001 profile image

elayne001 7 years ago from Rocky Mountains Author

Hello, hello - yes, we have had our share of arguments regarding money - still trying to deal with it : )


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 7 years ago from London, UK

I agree with you that money is and can be a great source of trouble, especially in a marriage.

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