Most Divorces Happen Second Monday Of January

Statistically, the second Monday of January is the busiest day of the year for divorce lawyers. Nobody knows for sure but many have ideas.

Holiday Stress


Trying to buy gifts for so many people isn’t easy even for those with plenty of money. Figuring out what to get for whom and finding the time to shop can cause frustration for us all.

You have all those visits with in-laws, family and juggling schedules to work it all in. Travel arrangements, packing, taking time off from work, preparing food and putting on a fake smile is enough to make us all nuts.

You can’t stand your mother in law but he adores her and if the two of you have conflicting opinions it can be difficult to say the least. We all have family members we can barely tolerate by blood and marriage; when it’s cold outside and we are locked indoors with these people it isn’t easy.

Dressing up for those special occasions; taking kids to play practice as well as the usual activities.

Then there are company parties, the family photos, the decorating, the traditions from his side, her side and the combined new practices you’ve incorporated either because you felt neglected as a child or some story book made you feel obligated to do them, i.e. Elf on a Shelf.

Paying the holiday bills


After the shopping frenzy, the gorging and visiting you sit down to take care of the bills of the past month and do a face palm wondering how you spent so much. Of course your expenses are all justified so of course it must be your significant other’s purchases that ran the bills up so high.

So then the arguments begin, the finger pointing and the questions. “What is this?” “Why did you buy this?” “Why did this cost so much?”

Gained weight and winter depression

Add all of the above to the fact some add on too many pounds; remember we can’t get out quite as much for that much needed exercise unless you are lucky enough to live in Florida or Hawaii. Some suffer from SAD, which is a form of depression from lack of sunlight.

Too much togetherness

Even couples in healthy marriages have arguments and issues during vacation and holiday time. We all have our set routine and sometimes we get in each other’s way. During the summer time we can at least get outside but during the winter we can’t always do that and sometimes are snowed in with each other for God only knows how long.

One person wants to do one thing the other has other ideas and if you aren’t good at compromise it can cause issues.

Little annoying things

Eventually things that didn’t used to bother you at all become barely tolerable like her snoring or his passing gas. He chews too loud, she snorts when she laughs. You start to dwell on those things instead of thinking about what you have to be thankful for.

Filing for divorce

So some of these couples (not all have problems, mind you) start bickering and thinking life would be so much, more simple without their spouse.

People who were having problems before the holidays but perhaps were holding things together just until they get past Christmas start to watch things fall apart like a house of cards. There wasn’t very much glue holding their marriage together anyway and now that the tinsel and stockings are put away they start to look around at the negative in their life. The parties and get-togethers are over so the pretense of happiness can be put away and true feelings and personalities surface.

The divorce lawyers love these people and this time of year.

What can you do to avoid this?


Carry some of that holiday spirit over into the new year. Remember the reason you married that person you share a home with, make time for each other and don’t dwell on all those little things that seem to be driving you crazy of late.

For every imperfection there are many good things about your wife or husband, find these things and focus on those and not why they make you uncomfortable. Find enjoyment in your togetherness because eventually you have to go back to work and will miss them.

I realize there are couples with big issues that can't be swept under the rug like infidelity, addiction, abuse and a host of other problems. You will need to assess your situation and decide if your life would be better or worse without this person. Make a list on paper of the pros and cons. Take into consideration the children and don't think staying together will be best for them. Sometimes a divorce is the best thing.

Exercise

Getting the blood flowing and your heart rate up will help your mood and elevate your serotonin levels making you feel more content. If you can’t get outside or to a gym, run in place, do jumping jack, push-ups or sit-ups. There are many exercises you can do in a small place.

If you have limited mobility or health issues try Tai Chi, stretching or simple yoga movements: anything to get the juices flowing.

Meditation and contemplation

During the holidays we are focused on what we are thankful for but it seems when we flip the calendar over to January we forget the importance of being mindful of what we have and doing for others.

A good practice is doing one good deed a day and thinking about what you have to be grateful for each morning. It puts our minds in a better state before our feet hit the floor.

In closing:


Your marriage is important, try to keep your family together if possible.

You think you have stress and money issues now, wait until you start paying a lawyer, child support or alimony.

Divorce lawyers have enough to do, let’s not add to their workload.

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Comments 15 comments

ktrapp profile image

ktrapp 4 years ago from Illinois

This was very interesting. I have never heard that statistic before, but it does make sense. I think a lot of us tend to put off things until "after the holiday," but sadly it never occurred to me that divorce would be one of them.


Serena Gabriel 4 years ago

That's interesting. I suppose it might be the case for people who have children and are just hanging on through the holidays.

But, I have another proposal based on my own experience. I wasn't married to the guy, but I had to wait until after the holidays to get away from him. He went on his first drinking binge around the holidays (maybe this is common for alcoholics - they can pretend to be normal the rest of the year and then wham! I don't know.) and we were iced and snowed in. So, I literally could not get away from him. I was physically stranded with a huge man who was becoming increasingly drunk and belligerent. If we had been married (that would have never happened!), I'd have filed for divorce as soon as the snow cleared in January! (I might have called the cops, too, except he was a police seargent. You can see how far that would have gotten me, besides they knew he had a problem and were covering it up.)

So, maybe the spouses get really drunk and belligerent around the holidays - it's a big time for party animals, I guess. Next thing, the wife is filing for divorce. (Wives do the majority of the filing year 'round.)


Daffy Duck profile image

Daffy Duck 4 years ago from Cornelius, Oregon

That actually does make sense. I never would have guessed.

Releiving stress can be hard for people. They get so wrapped up in the fast pace their families and bosses set for them they forget to take care of themselves. Interesting topic.


Jean Bakula profile image

Jean Bakula 4 years ago from New Jersey

Interesting fact, I never realized. I can see how it could happen though, many couples with young children would try to keep the marriage together if they were considering divorce, at least through the holiday season. On another note, I just found out about "Elf on a shelf" and it's one of the stupidest ideas I ever heard. Parents should just say "no" to such nonsense. I looked it up on Amazon, and this dumb elf you have to move around "secretly" is $39.95 with the book? Absurd.


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Ktrapp, there was a news article in the paper last January and I made a note to myself to write this article. I also thought that statistic was interesting.

Serena, I hadn't thought about that but it does make sense. Some people tend to party more during the holidays and it could be an embarrassment and hassle for the sober family members to deal with.

Daffy Duck, we are very busy during this time and we don't always have time for a breather.

Jean, I have known people who didn't have young kids hold things together until after the holidays. They wanted to get past all the family get togethers before springing the news on everyone.

I have a niece who bought that book and elf, she and her kids just love it but I can see how it is just one more thing to add to an already busy time of the year.


marshacanada profile image

marshacanada 4 years ago from Vancouver BC

Good info in this Hub Pamela N Red. Voted up and interesting.I can add the split up date to my divorce trivia storehouse. There are so many reasons people split up, maybe it follows a New Year's Resolution made by the splitee to finally split up.

My partner of 18 years announced our breakup while we went for a walk on New Year's Day. That was 9 years ago and not a Happy New Year for me, but all turned out fine.

I am much happier in my "new" relationship of 8 years and hope we will stay happily together past the dangerous second Monday of 2012.


SylviaSky profile image

SylviaSky 4 years ago from USA

Nobody wants to call parents or siblings during holidays and say, "Mom (Sis), I'm getting divorced." No one wants to face the relatives with that news while they are having cookies and cocoa and opening gifts. I would think that decisions to divorce are probably made long before the holidays. Or perhaps as a new year's resolution.


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Wow, Marsha, that's rough. Glad you have found new love and all is well.

Sylvia, I think you are right. Thinks weren't copacetic prior to the holidays and the stress of it all just make it worse. Waiting is best so as not to dampen everyone's mood.


Orvas Dren profile image

Orvas Dren 4 years ago

I think the divorce is a big decision and one has to think about it a lot before he or she decides to take that course of action. I also think that sometimes it's the best decision you can make.

This was a very interesting and enlightening read. Thanks, Pamela!


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Orvas it is a big decision and people shouldn't make it lightly. Sometimes splitting is the best thing to do. Thanks for reading.


Ghost32 4 years ago

I'm not buying it. Let's see, the dates of my 6 divorces:

1. June.

2. October.

3. July.

4. December.

5. May.

6. December again.

Nope. Not a one of 'em in January.

Even so, voted up and interesting!


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Ghost, that is a lot of divorces. I got these statistics from a newspaper and they base it on the number of people that file during this time of year. You just happen to have more trouble in the summer and December. Hopefully your last one will be a keeper.


Ghost32 4 years ago

Oh, Pam's a keeper, all right. 15 years and counting. None of the others made it past 8. :)


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Fifteen years is really good. You've gotten past two seven year itches.


Laura in Denver profile image

Laura in Denver 4 years ago from Aurora

I do think the stress of the holidays causes problems. Some people completely go berserk on the spending, too.

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