My Gay Divorce

Domestic Abuse

Here we go then, I am sorry I have not been around for a while my friends I am going through a divorce, my partner and I split up two weeks ago after six years together. The relationship died between us is what I tell people because I cant come to terms with the truth.

I read a text on the internet about domestic violence in gay relationships, and yes it does happen, I began to compare my relationship to it, my god I thought this is me. I have been abused by the one I called my partner. The one your supposed to love and their supposed to love you but when you find out that they just want to control you it hurts. Seemingly my partner thought that he could be give me emotional abuse and then blame it on the alcohol and say that he cant remember, he has done this for 6 years now and only i was not aware at the time just what he was doing. They set you up to make a bad decision, and hold it against you, they knock you down and bully you and then treat you like dirt for ages yet when you confront them they twist it to be your fault. I read on and then I noticed some thing else that bugged me, of course we go on forgiving them and they behave perfectly for a little while but dont be fooled by it guys its just a ploy to soften you up, then they will be back at you worse than ever. I got out just in time and safely away but all I can think to myself is why? Why have I let myself endure this, why did I let him do this to me, how could I have been so blind?

I am not blind now, I am miles away and safe, he is not even bothered that I have gone, I believe he has taken to his alcohol as usual, well please your self but guys and girls when your reading this please please report it and get out of there mine was only emotional abuse but in some cases its worse and it can take the form of physical abuse and even death.

The link I read was this one below It opened my eyes to the truth.

http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

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Comments 9 comments

the pink umbrella profile image

the pink umbrella 6 years ago from the darkened forest deep within me.

I am so sorry for your saddness. I know a little something about the abuse and the alchohol, although id never want anyone to know, because its in my past. The hardest part is over, and you away from him, im glad you got out ok. Again, even though you were abused by him, i know how much it hurts to want so bad for the other person to realize what they are doing, and love you again. my heart goes out to you, and im sending good vibes and intentions your way.


SheriSapp profile image

SheriSapp 6 years ago from West Virginia

You are brave to share such a painful and intimate story of your life. I am glad you were able to see the problem and take steps to salvage your life. Good luck in the future.


calpol25 profile image

calpol25 6 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK (At Home With My Wonderful Partner) Author

Thank you both so much for your kindness and understanding and I wish the same to you :)


starqueen13 profile image

starqueen13 6 years ago from Houston, Tx

This is so sad, but you should be proud that you can share this and hope that you are saving others from the abuse.


Kharisma1980 profile image

Kharisma1980 6 years ago from Toronto

Hey Callum,

I'll be praying for you. Such a hard time, but I am glad you are safe.

Jesus, you understand what it is like to be abused: wrap your arms around my brother Callum, bring him healing for his heart, and keep him safe. Amen.

In peace,

Rob


calpol25 profile image

calpol25 6 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK (At Home With My Wonderful Partner) Author

Starqueen and Kharisma1980 thanks very much for your kind words they mean so much to me at the moment in time, it has been a rocky road so far but I know that the ending will be worth it. :)


raisingme profile image

raisingme 6 years ago from Fraser Valley, British Columbia

Thank you for having the courage to share. So often emotional abuse is visited on another to convince the partner that no one else would want them. Done out of fear of losing someone it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Well done for buying out of what your partner was selling you.


syzygyastro profile image

syzygyastro 6 years ago from Vancouver, Canada

I see you have a sense of humor intact after what must be a trying experience. My partner and I will be celebrating our thirtieth in a couple of days. Yes, there are successful gay relationships out there and you've inspired me to write a hub on relationship success for anyone who cares to live with another person. Will and myself I will be uploading some pics with the new hub which I've yet to writer for here. After 30 years, we have worked out some ideas that we'll share. I thank you for sharing and my heart goes out to you!


calpol25 profile image

calpol25 6 years ago from Edinburgh, Scotland, UK (At Home With My Wonderful Partner) Author

Thank you syzgyastro for reading and im so happy to hear that I have inspired you I look forward to reading your new hub and congrats on the 30 years :)

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