My Reverse Bucket List . . .

Hitch-hiking is something I "can" still do

because I am not past going even at age 59.
because I am not past going even at age 59. | Source

OTHER THINGS "I" CAN DO AT AGE 59

take a pretty girl wearing a sundress to lunch at an outside restaurant.
take a pretty girl wearing a sundress to lunch at an outside restaurant. | Source
Do some late- night DJ work at parties.
Do some late- night DJ work at parties.
Drive a diesel rig.
Drive a diesel rig.
Live a secluded livestyle in a log cabin.
Live a secluded livestyle in a log cabin.
Sing in a live concert.
Sing in a live concert.
Meet Batman.
Meet Batman.
Work for a tugboat company.
Work for a tugboat company.
Write with the ease and fluidity of Hunter Thompson.
Write with the ease and fluidity of Hunter Thompson.
own my own FM Rock station and hire Big Jay Fink from WRIP FM, in the Catskills.
own my own FM Rock station and hire Big Jay Fink from WRIP FM, in the Catskills.
Paint a pretty girl's toenails.
Paint a pretty girl's toenails.

ON NOVEMBER 27 . . .

I turned 59. Not 69, 79, or 99, but 59. I had no parade, fan fare, or visits from anyone from the entertainment industry, political world or even next door. I was a happy man.


"59" has rejuvenated my "Reverse Bucket List" feelings in me. Unlike the hit movie, "The Bucket List," starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, who played two guys whose days were limited and they had this "list" of things they wanted to do before that awful day of their demise, I have this "list" of things I could still do . . .even at age 59.


Such as walking right up to a pretty girl wearing a cute sundress and complimenting her on having a fantastic fashion choice, then take her to lunch at an outside restaurant. No strings attached. No late-night sex romp. Nothing like that. Just a friendly lunch, an embrace and then I leave.


Oh, I have other things that are not as risque as dining with a pretty girl in a pretty sundress, but still, these might prove risky to a man of my experienced years.


Take being a late-night DJ, spinning hip-hop records at a wild, all-night party where it's wall-to-wall young people ranging from 19 to 29. That is scary, but still, I'd like to "throw down" with some songs by some of my favorite artists: Kool Moe Dee; Public Enemy; Jay-Zee and even LL Cool J, before he went Hollywood.


I've always had this love for diesel rigs. From the first time I had the pleasure of watching "Movin' On," starring Claude Akins and Frank Converse on NBC. This was a weekly show about two truckers who have various adventures on the road (naturally) and how they help people and just "get the job done." This show ran from 1974 to 1976, and fired a love for the open road in me that no domestic surroundings could cure. At "59," if I were taught, I could change my name to "Fireball" Kenneth and climb into the cab of a Kenworth and head to San Diego.


To live completely-secluded in a nice log cabin has been a dream of mine since I was 13. Just to have a cell phone, a television that picks up VHF signals, and a road leading from the entrance to my home and going no further. My cabin would not be able to be seen from the air or any other way. I love seclusion. So does my wife, Pam. At my age now, again, "59," this dream is all the more attainable.


Then when the secluded-life grows a bit boring, I've had this hidden-desire to sing in public ever since I watched Elvis Presley sing and writhe around on my neighbor, Clow Roberts' black and white television, when I was age seven. Presley "did his thing," with such ease that "I" thought to my young, foolish heart that I too, could sing. Well, to not bore you. I've made "that" fatal mistake that all would-be singers make when starting out: I heard myself one time. That was that.


Would you like to meet "Batman?" I sure would. Okay, so what if he doesn't exist? I would still love to be given a tour of the Bat-Cave, a ride in the Batmobile, not the one Christian Bale rode around Gotham City in, but the old version driven by Adam West and Burt Ward. That sucker would fly. And designed by Los Angeles superstar car designer, George Barris, it looked great. Being "59" hasn't squelched my dream of meeting "Batman," it might have ignited another dream: to BE (a) "Batman" and fight crime in my hometown. Shhhhhh.


My late, colorful uncle Ector Goodson, worked for a tugboat company in Illinois when he was 22. He loved it. But his job of being "point man," was not a dream come true. Ector's job was to be the lone guy who walked the barges day and night to check for loose cables and other danger signs. In rain, sleet, freezing weather, Ector did a great job. Of course he was 22, like I said, not "59," but I think I'd like to try this job--simply to tell you on HubPages that "I" did it.


My last three dreams I guess are my most-important (and secret) dreams. Please don't laugh. I would give all of my earthly-possessions to be able to write like Hunter Thompson, the "father of yellow dog journalism." Thompson, to me, was nothing short of a literary master. A genius without any paper qualifications on his walls. I have admired Thompson for years, and now that I have a PC, and HubPages, my fifty-nine-year-old-mind could still "churn-out" an award-winning story or two. If I had plenty of naps between stories.


To own my very own late-night FM rock radio station and hire Big Jay Fink from WRIP FM in the Catskills to relieve me when my 15-hour shift had ended. What a great time I would have, sitting in the dark playing LP's by The Stones; Yard Birds; Cream; Janis Joplin; The Beatles and any other artist from the 60's. And give all of my sponsors a break in their advertising bills. I could do that. I own the joint. I mean, station.


My last thing I could do at age "59," is one you have to approach with an open-mind. I'd love to take my sweet time and paint a pretty girl's toenails. No strings attached. Nothing expected. Just see if I had the nerve and patience to do this off-the-wall venture and have this lovely creature sit still and ask (every five minutes), "like, you mean you are doing this, for like, nothing?" Yes, dearest, for like, nothing.


Say what you want. Say what you will, but I am so grateful to even have a "Reverse Bucket List," that I am now going to finish this story and take a break in my living room while watching the evening news . . .


which is NOT as exciting as painting pretty girls' toenails for nothing, but it's restful.


More by this Author


Comments 39 comments

Angela Blair profile image

Angela Blair 4 years ago from Central Texas

Kenneth -- I can't think of anything nicer than a bucket list OR a reverse bucket list -- and let me tell you something that's a real biggy -- age is a relevant thing. 59 sounds very young to someone who's 75. Upon reaching 75 you put reaching 76 on your reverse bucket list -- Merry Christmas, to you and Pam, my friend, and many, many blessings! Your writing is always entertaining and always exceptional!. Best/Sis


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 4 years ago from San Francisco

I am sure there are some things left undone. But my glass list... I forgot where I put it. I think making more money might have been something that should have been a higher priority


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 4 years ago from Sunny Florida

Love the unbucket list. Your list is universally popular. Very entertaining.


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 4 years ago from Riga, Latvia

Voted up and interesting. Love your choice. And why not? Everything in this life is still possible.


Mary Merriment profile image

Mary Merriment 4 years ago from Boise area, Idaho

What an amazing share of your reverse bucket list. I think it's very important to think over the things we'd like to do. That way when an opportunity arises, maybe you can make them happen!


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma

Awesome hub! I like your attitude! It's good to think about all the things that we can do and who knows what the future brings! Great hub! Up and awesome! :)


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

Great hub...and it's never too late, although Pam might not like the pretty girl in the sundress or painting the toenails thing too much! Sometimes we get to do mini versions of things we'd like to do and it's a great experience. You either realize you love it or that it wasn't as good as you thought it would be. Maybe you can come up with some "mild" versions of some of these things.


lupine profile image

lupine 4 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Kenneth, good thinking...if you do get into a Kenworth and head to San Diego, be sure to let know - maybe we could have that cup of coffee we mentioned several months ago, bring Pam too.


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 4 years ago

What a great post! Love your positive attitude in facing another milestone in life. Happy Birthday, by the way. I don't have an official bucket list, but I have a few items I would love to accomplish before I say good-bye to this world.


picklesandrufus profile image

picklesandrufus 4 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

I too will be 59 and must say you are an extremely creative and young at heart person. It's all in your attitude Kenneth and yours is so great!! Fun reverse bucket list....look forward to reading about the adventures your list brings when you accomplish each one:)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear angela/sis,

"Thank you kindly for this, and all of your sweet thoughts and compliments." I sincerely appreciate YOU and all of my followers, and even at age 59, I am beginning to see life through different eyes. Eyes that can SEE MY OWN flaws, rather than those around me. You and yours have a Very Merry Christms, sis.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

MHatter99 . . .the money-making thing applies to me also. I told my misses just last week that when we started out 37 years ago, if we had only put away $5 to $10 a week, every week, by now, we would have a nifty nest egg, but back then, we struggled with bills going and coming, but we had a ball in the process.

Thanks for your nice remarks and I hope you have a Fantastic Christmas. I tip "my hat" to you, my friend, for all of your thoughts.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Wy' hello, KoffeeKlatchGals . . .where on earth have you been? I remember when you were among my first followers. Are you alright? I get to missing my friends. And sincerely, I thank you for this comment you left me.

Right now, I dont have a true bucket list, but this one will do.

Merry Christmas to you.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Gypsy Rose Lee,

I agree. All things in life are possible, but "some" may get one in hot water. LOL. Thanks for your positive input.

Love you for being my friend.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Mary Merriment,

You have a very nice name. And I thank you also for your positive support, but to drive a truck, I need lessons to get my CDL license, and that requires bucks . . .bucks that I dont have. But I can dream for free!

Merry Christmas Mary!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, sgbrown,

I will ask you what I asked KoffeeKlatchGals, "where on earth have YOU been?" I missed you. And are YOU okay? I hope so.

Thank you for standing with me in the things that I'd love to do and NOT get in trouble.

You are a true hubpages friend.

Merry Christmas.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear catgypsy,

Never thought of that, Pam not liking me taking the girl in sundress to JUST lunch or painting a pretty girl's toenails . . .I will have to work on those, but thanks for your words of kindness and support.

I do value you and my followers' comments so much.

Merry Christmas to you and yours!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear lupine,

I sure will. And I am serious. Pam likes big trucks too. But I need a CDL license and lessons. All things in time, my friend. And that cup of hot coffee sounds like heaven to me.

Merry Christmas to you and yours.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, teaches12345,

Thanks for the birthday wish, and for your comments. This reverse bucket list is made up of dreams that Ive had for years--the one about owning an FM rock station should be at top of the list. Oh, I will be careful to not hire pretty girls in sundresses and ask if I can paint their toenails.

Merry Christmas!!!!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, picklesandrufus,

Happy Birthday, my friend. May I say that you dont look 59. I do. But life goes on. And who knows, when Im 69, God willing, I just might have a beard and hitching my way to California. Naaah, too much labor. Too dangerous and I am not into violence. Just think I will stay home and "think" about my dreams.

Thank you for your comments, pickles, and Merry Christmas to YOU and yours.


lupine profile image

lupine 3 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Kenneth, just let me know if you and Pam get to SD, I would sincerely love to meet you...best wishes for the holidays!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear lupine,

I will sure do that, let you know when we, or I, get to San Diego. And we would love to meet you. Thanks for being so warm and genuine, lupine. (a rhyme). And Warmest Wishes to YOU too.


lupine profile image

lupine 3 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Thanks for making my day with your hubs and compliments. Keep in touch.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear lupine, you are welcome, but it is YOU, who make my Days . . .and I will definitely do that, keep in touch, provided that YOU do the same. Merry Christmas, DEAR friend.


Sueswan 3 years ago

Hi Kenneth,

Now, I know that your birthday is November 27th. I wasn't too far off.

"I'd love to take my sweet time and paint a pretty girl's toenails. " Hmm, sounds like you have a foot fetish. ;)

Voted up across the board

Have a good week my friend


lupine profile image

lupine 3 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Hello Kenneth, Happy New Year! Have you done any of the things on your "reverse bucket" list yet?


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Sueswan,

Yes, :) Nov. 27 is my birthday. No, you were very close. Nice guessing, I must say. Oh the toenail polishing thing, not as much a fetish but a test of nerves to see how GOOD I could do this without my hands shaking. I would assume it would be difficult for me, a guy who appreciates the ladies so much.

What do you think?


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Lupine,

No, not all on my list. Just one. I am trying very hard (seriously) to adapt my writing style to that of Hunter Thompson. For me to try to write like another personal favorite, J.D. Salinger, would be a hill to high to climb.

I am sticking to the manageable.

Come back soon and visit with me.


lupine profile image

lupine 3 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Kenneth love your writing style already...why not just write like Kenneth Avery? I can say many agree with me since you have so many readers and comments on your hubs. Yes, sticking to the manageable is a good idea.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, again, Lupine,

Okay. I am going to take your cherished-advice. Honest and true to my word. I am not going to copy someone else. And I LOVE YOUR comments, writing style (also), and us being good friends--open and honest.

Thanks a Mil'!


lupine profile image

lupine 3 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Thanks Kenneth, for being yourself and so sincere in your replies. Your ability to take an ordinary moment in time and be so creative, imaginative, and confidant is remarkable. One day I will hear..."I want to write like Kenneth Avery." I will be proud to say, "yes, he's my good friend."


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest lupine,

You are most welcome, but that is the only man I can be is ME. And talk about imaginative, what about YOU? You are truly-gifted in the art of writing in such a manner that you capture your readers' attention and keep it.

And WOW, what a compliment, what you will hear and want to write like Kenneth Avery . . .dearest lupine . ..thank you from the heart. NO ONE on hubpages has EVER said such a sweet thing as this to me. I am honest.

And YOU will forever be MY VERY-TRUSTED AND GOOD FRIEND as well.

I am so honored to have you in my life that I cannot put it into words.

:) Kenneth


lupine profile image

lupine 3 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Kenneth, all the compliments you get are very well deserved. Thank you for considering me your very-trusted, good friend...I am honored as well. Keep in touch anytime.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear, dear Lupine,

Thank you, my trusted and sweet friend. You do not know just how much I appreciate YOU. And you can write me anytime you want. Us shut-in's are very appreciative of those (like you), caring, warm and friendly, who stop to give a person such as I, a smile and a warm sense of friendship. God bless you.


lupine profile image

lupine 3 years ago from Southern California (USA)

God bless you too, Kenneth. You always make me smile/laugh too ...keep in touch, friend. FYI: Today is my 1 yr anniv on hubpages, glad I joined.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear lupine, thank you, DEAR friend for the well-wish. And you have that gift of making me feel good even when I am so down it's not even funny. Congrat's on your First Hub Anniversary. No one is more glad of your being here than I. I am honest. Stay in touch and would you ship me a slice of your Anniversary cake???


lupine profile image

lupine 3 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Kenneth, may we meet one day and enjoy a good meal and a piece of cake...your friend always!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear lupine,

I offer my apologies for being so slothful in responding. I've had some life issues going at me, and well, I just didn't get the time. Forgive me, dear friend.

You bet we can meet one day and eat a good meal. Nothing would suit me better than to sit down and first, get to know you, talk to you for about nine hours, then eat the meal of YOUR choice.

And I am YOUR friend and ally until time ends,

Kenneth


lupine profile image

lupine 3 years ago from Southern California (USA)

Thanks so much Kenneth. I wish you well and good health.

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