My Sweet Sister- I Hate You

Again?

Really, again? I got another call from my mother today...crying.

She has cancer again. It's is a probable stage 4.

A "probable" stage 4? Okay...I have heard all this before. "I'm dying mother, my life is so hard." Pity me, pity me. Karma is something isn't it dear sister....treat us all like hell and this is your payback.

Oh I know, I'm a horrible sister. How can I say such things? You don't know the half of it. You didn't grow up with this psycho-dramatic soul. A soul so cruel that she blamed you for her wrong doings while mother believed her. A person that is so manipulative that she can convince some that the sky is black, when it is blue. A person that is so cruel she pushes you out of a moving car because she wants to have sex with some guy at the bar and you are "in the way." Stage 4 my butt!

Growing Up

I remember the good times you and I had. You were my best friend. Even though you would lie, cheat and steal. Steal from everyone! Even the elderly! What were you thinking?

Still, I protected you.

I admired you.

You were funny. You and I would laugh so much over just the dumbest things, we had so many inside jokes that people must have thought we were speaking in code.

But you are hateful and mean.

You hurt my heart Sister- you heart my soul.

Lying to your children to make yourself look better. Isolating family that could truly love those kids because you couldn't bear to deal with yourself.

The anorexia, then the bulimia. Oh and of course the "rape" that occurred in Germany. Yes, well, we found out the truth about that didn't we? Your 40 aspirin attempt at suicide....nice attention there sis.

Throwing my dead cat in my face after she passed, getting drunk and sleeping with "god knows who" only not to remember the next weekend when they appoached you for another round. Passing out in some bands motel bathroom, leaving your panties in the back seat of mothers car and saying they were mine. Yes, again sis, nice.

Question For You

Do you have a family member you do not speak to?

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If yes, how long has it been?

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Oh, I could go on and on about the horrific, horrible things you have done. Telling your daughter you don't make things right with the family because it is "too much work." Well, I got news for you sister.

It's too much work for me to be the less than-daughter.

Its too much work to strive for moms love.

Its too much work to know all the things you've done and still care...

Its too much work not to cry when I see you at the store.

Its too much work when your children ask me, on a rare occasion that I see them, why I haven't been around?

It too much work to know it's been 11 years since we uttered a word and now you may die...

It takes a lot not to call...

It takes a lot to admit... I miss you.

It takes a lot to say.......I hope your alright sis.

It takes a lot to say....forgive me?

It takes a lot......

Stage 4, huh?

.................nice one sis

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Comments 3 comments

bayoulady profile image

bayoulady 6 years ago from Northern Louisiana,USA

I don't know what to say. It seems that hurt resonates through out this piece , yet it also traps a yearning for what should have been, but just wasn't.It is what it is...... You can love a family member and just not like them anymore. That doesn't mean you don't love them.

You wrote this in a way that one feels your bitterness and hurt. Rate up!


geegee77 profile image

geegee77 6 years ago from The Lone Star State!!

Wow Im so sorry for what seems like a lifetime of pain and heartache, it's true you can love your family but dont have to like them, I know I have a sister that doesnt speak to one of my brothers for alot of reasons, and I know it hurts her very much. and also him, it also hurts my mother very deeply I pray one day your sister can realize what she's done and you and her can be close again. I will pray for your family:) ge


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 5 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

Poignant and sad hub. Blood is not necessarily thicker than water.

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