My Teen Daughter Is A Brat --Teenage Issues

SO YOUR DAUGHTER IS A BRAT?

Just think about the reasons and maybe you can come up with and answer. Be open minded and sum up the reasons why? Or maybe how? How did she get to this point, where, or perhaps why she cannot stand you, and your spouse anymore..?

IN THE BEGINNING...

  1. Back in the days, if we made a mistake our butts would be theirs...!
  2. There were not iPads, no realities shows that promote this behavior.
  3. We as kids were happy with less. Not a penny more, maybe a penny less.
  4. Parents and great gandparents did work hard for this Country and we learned from them.
  5. Moral were carried from home to school and back...home.
  6. The minute you wanted to leave home, they showed you the door. Not in Kansas anymore.
  7. Education was of the best quality, and or course, Teachers were valued and paid above today's standards.
  8. Praying was encouraged at home and out of the House.
  9. You were shown how to earn those cents at the field with grandpa or those summer jobs.
  10. Your parents hard work was enough example to keep you from getting astray.

SO I KIND OF GUESS WHY MY KID...

Your kid was born crying and you fell sorry and kept him/her in your arms. From the very first second, they learned to see the power of whining. Nature gave them to us and we took over, not knowing yet how to behave as parents. Sounds familiar?

Because we have more resources like HDTV, Internet and that state-of-the-art game with surround sound, our kid, in this case our daughter sees the world differently. Just after learning to say the word, 'I want,' you knew something was not right.


SELFISHNESS

From day one their world was them and only them: The bottle on time, those 25 or more toys for Christmas. And mommy, and daddy, would clean right after them. Right Lindsay?

We fed a monster, sorry to say it but it is the right word. Have your daughter ever, who is already a brat, told you that she loves you without being asked for? Mostly they were texting Josh and Margie.

When they knew that saying, 'I want,' opened to them so many possibilities, they moved to the next level, which started with School: Problems with friends, asking the latest portable game or ditching your homemade lunch for candy.

The stupid Barney didn't help either! Nickelodeon taught them how to make a mess with that green slime and not even worry about the clean up. Between you and me. check for that underwear under her bed, or the bubble gum under your own mom's antique table.

A brat was created by our environment...and yes, you can add your own temper or ways. If you still have a 3 years old daughter at home, you are still on time to reverse the curse by raising that voice and being clear in rewarding a good behavior. Just think of Prince Charles with Lady Diana, trying to set the rules for little 3 years old William and baby Harry. It doesn't mother if you are a King or a peasant, you were named a parent(without asking?) and you have to be strong from the beginning. Sure, yeah right!! You wanted to be softer than your own parents that beat the heck out of you...with that cable TV belt. OMG!

If your Daughter is already 14 and has that, 'I'm a freaking brat' T-shirt on, then you are screwed. What can you do? Hard to tell you by now, but we will try: (I said..will try)

  1. Warn them that Facebook will be closed and their freaking cell, will be donated if they continue with those rants.
  2. Do not shoot the laptop like these cowboy on YouTube, just take it away when #1 was carried away, with vengeance.
  3. Praise good behavior and spend quality time with them.
  4. Most brats live with a single parent and that set the alarm when dad/mom left.
  5. If rule #1 doesn't scare them, take away something that they love the most (Cable, games, not allowed to visit Cindy, just to meet the boyfriend you never knew about)
  6. One day do this one: sit on the table and poke your nose and serve their meal without washing your hands. If they complain, you better get ready to answer why!
  7. Start to tell them how were in your teen years, even though they think you are a F##tard like this Bieber, keep on. Remember, your 'talk' against that 2012 reality show.
  8. Pre teens are developing their mind and body, so all of them are reacting differently to what's out of their world. You never study to be a parent, but for the sake of love, you will learn how to deal with them.
  9. Unfortunately shows like, 'Is a wonderful life,' doesn't appeal to them anymore. So you will have to start to dowload kris Brown's grammy song, with free expletive text messages... to your own cell. Sorry John Lennon!
  10. So it sounds like are dealing with an addict, an addict to a selfish society. You've ever noticed how they text all day and don't even look at you? Did you notice how they text to their friend next to them on the same couch? Come on brat Tifanny! Keep it real!
  11. If possible show them what could happen to them if they never change: Take them for a tour to the closest juvenal center. Log on to Live leak dot com, and show them those teens that were killed after that night of boost and binge. Sorry...but if you don't have a choice, deal with this addiction meeting the Cancer of this society.
  12. If this doesn't work, but I believe in you parent!! If this doesn't work, tell them how much you love them and keep on trying. Counseling might help too. Sometimes they will never tell you why they were mad at you; they will trust a friend before you... and that is sad!
  13. Why I never mentioned physical punishment? They know if you do, they dial that 1 digit on their cells that is 'hooked up' to dial that 911... and they will leave the cell on, and push you to the limit... so Sargent Schmidt, with enough evidence, can send the SWAT team on you.

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Comments 13 comments

HattieMattieMae profile image

HattieMattieMae 4 years ago from Limburg, Netherlands

I think the best thing you can do is love them unconditionally. They may make mistakes, and fail, but when they fail they learn something out of it. You don't need to be brutal. They don't need to be yelled at or threatened. They just need security, stability, and no they are loved. Your example shows them how to be in life in all their relationships. Sorry to say, but even when we look into the eyes of our own children we fail them when we don't find worth in ourselves. You are their romodel, and hate to say it, but when our kids are being brats, usually because we are being brats ourselves.


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

You are absolutely right HattiMattieMae,

So we as society might be heading into the wrong direction..? Thanks for your response and lots of thoughts to ponder.

LORD


HattieMattieMae profile image

HattieMattieMae 4 years ago from Limburg, Netherlands

I think the old ways are not working anymore, and what we've always lacked in society is healing ourselves and our families. Love is what most people feel they are not getting out of life whether it is our children, being adults, or parents, spouses. We haven't learned to stop judging, criticizing, trying to control other people through abuse emotionally, spiritually,physically, sexually. Most of societies problems are for the same reason on political, social, psychological levels. It is no different in any kind of relationship. We don't get the big picture we effect everyone through our own examples from the bottom as parents, to being co-worker, to being a student, to being who ever we are in life. We don't listen and take people serioursly because what we say out loud, is never really followed by example. The old way used to be do as I say, not what i do. Well hard to do what you say, if your example isn't leading the way.


Sunnie Day 4 years ago

Amen lord Amen! Great hub! There was a time when my daughters and I went through the normal teen years but now they are absolutely my joy! Just have to be the parent not their best friend in the teen years..or it will bite you one day...Come against them as their best friend and you will see very quickly that brat side come out..

Thanks again my friend,

Sunnie


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

Geez! Hattie Matahari!(jk) You really killed the hub!...Joking again.

I admire your long comment! You might have a teen daughter for sure! But jokes aside, you have a a good brain over that head. Well the avatar doesn't show that! Lol!

LORD


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

Hi there Sunnie,

You are telling me that we have to be stronger with these teens? Then if a mother like you says that, then we were on the right track. These futures moms need parents with an edge in education and strong will. Hate those teen mom's kind of shows. To make it worse, the music is njot ehlping either. Sorry M.I.A!! Thanks Sunnie friend!

LORD


wheelinallover profile image

wheelinallover 4 years ago from Central United States

The saying "it takes a community to raise a child" is based more on fact than fiction. This is even more true today than in days past. I can't tell you how many grandparents are learning to text just so they have some input in their grandchild's life. Children are now carrying cell phones with text capability and using both voice and text at age six.

Children need someone close to look up to. When this is in place children more often than not do better. Especially if the person they look up to has a good standard of values.

Remember all teens rebel. (Don't say you didn't because at some point in time you know it happened) Unconditional love at this time will be remembered for the child's life time. Believe me I am not saying don't be a parent. Set limits and expect them to be obeyed. Although all the children who have been through here were preteen we already use cause and effect. If you do this you lose this privilege. Just let the child know they are loved in spite of infractions.

Voted up interesting and SHARING.


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

Thanks WheelinAllover,

Your input adds to our hub value and we want to thank you for taking your time in reading us. Your comments are always welcome. Have a good day!

LORD


DzyMsLizzy profile image

DzyMsLizzy 4 years ago from Oakley, CA

It's called "tough love." No compromises; no giving in; no more allowing the child to run the household.

Things come to this pass when parents give in to a child's tantrums just because they "don't like listening to it." Don't listen. Get your own ear-music, or ear plugs, and tune it out.

They "hate" you? They don't like you? OH WELL! It's not your job to be their buddy, but their parent. Those "hate" statements are nothing more than button-pushing. Kids are still kids, and whether or not they want to admit it, they need boundaries, rules and restrictions. Without them, they are lost and scared.

Oh, they may put on quite the show of bravado, but inside, they are lost and scared, and feel abandoned. It feels to them like no one cares. Then we see disturbing things like teenage suicide, because they are so lost inside themselves, with no outside support. Giving them whatever their little hearts desire is not love--it is a failure to parent.

This sounds harsh, but it is the necessary reality.


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Remember that when your 15 year old, 6'5" stepson is kicked out of his mother's house at 3:00am and the police in another state halfway across the country call you, all is not lost. This happened with us. He would throw temper tantrums, breaking things and yelling at his mother and sister. His 6' mother never said a word to Dad that there was a problem. She hid behind the couch. He would walk out of the house any time he wanted and go where he wanted, whether she said he could or not. She should have put her foot on his butt at 10 when he started that but didn't.

His disabled father went and got him. Then, when his father was gone, trying to earn a little bit of extra money, he would pull his tantrums on me. I worked with him for a month and then he started on his 9 and 10 year old brothers. I blew and by the time I got done with him, he was sitting on his bottom, backing up the stairs trying to get away from me while I lectured him, slapping his face with every word of the lecture. Not hard, just hard enough to sting. He threatened to call the police and I dialed the phone. We lived in TN. In TN, if you are not leaving marks on them, corporal punishment is fine. They are told that they are living in your house and had better follow your rules. We had made sure that he knew we would help him, support him, take care of him, but he had better act like a human. He decided that I was not going to put up with his abuse of any of us and that if I had to, I would back it up. I could be meaner than he was. No, I wasn't mean, I was determined that we were not going to be bossed around by any 15 year old punk in our own house.

He is now a well-behaved 36 year old man with 3 sons of his own and calls me for help when he needs ideas. He thanked me at 21 for turning him into a human.


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

Thanks a lot to DZYMisslizzy and becky Katz for sharing their own stories. You certainly are an example of parenthood that stood stern and clear at the right moment. What I see in common is that..later on, our kids will thank us for having lead them, on the right path of their lives. Who will always win are their children too. Amazing... how a life can change so many others around.

LORD


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

Great hub! (OMW, I've used the forbidden word 'great', but I can only replace it with 'awesome', and I've already voted this up and awesome.

Were are the good old days? BUT, my parent have said the very same thing, and their parents too. Sokrates, or was it Pluto, had the same complaints about teenagers. Teenagers are, and let me use my mother's term, 'round-head monsters'...

Excellent tips and advice in here, my Lord. I am sharing this with my children.


Lord De Cross profile image

Lord De Cross 4 years ago Author

Martie,

I want to confess that I read what I wrote, and I cannot understand how I came out with those words. I never thought I could ever advice on girls. But, glad my muses were here to give me guidance and spread this message. Is really hard for parents nowadays, it really is, and more when the parents is replaced by this Single mom. Again, this hub, was made from my heart and if you think is of values, then I will feel acomplished. Take care Martie!

LORD

LORD

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