Help! My Wife Can't Cook! What Should I Do? I'm Hungry!(Emunah La-Paz Defines You)

I Dream That My Beautiful Wife Will Someday Prepare A Beautiful Meal

This picture showcases a woman cutting vegetables for a beautiful salad.
This picture showcases a woman cutting vegetables for a beautiful salad. | Source

My Mother Taught Me How To Cook. But, I'm Too Tired To Cook When I Get Home From Work

A mother teaching their child how to prepare dough, to bake bread.
A mother teaching their child how to prepare dough, to bake bread. | Source

My Wife Almost Burned Down The House Making Ramen Noodles

Ramen noodle soup.
Ramen noodle soup. | Source

I Wish My Wife Could Cook

When I met my beautiful wife, I was not interested in her cooking skills to say the least. We both lived near our parents during our time of dating,a our parents provided a homemade meal almost on a daily basis. Back then I would eat over her parent’s house or she would come over my folk’s house.

I don’t mean to brag, but my entire family knows how to cook. We’re Italian, so we know how to throw down in the kitchen. My mom taught all of her boys how to cook.

Once Angela and I got married we moved out of state. I was hired on at a huge company. Even though I like the company that I work for, they work me like a dog.

When I get home from work I’m tired. I can barely lift my broke- down rump out of the car. But what hurts the most, is the hunger pains.

I dream that my wife has something good prepared for me, like a nice steak, or a great pasta dinner like my mom used to make. I’ll even take a salad; I just wish she would make something edible. I honestly had no clue that the woman I married could not cook to save her life!

My wife almost almost burned down the house while trying to make Ramen Noodles! I don't know how it happened! For starters I don't know why she needs so much stuff just to make Ramen Noodles!

Why Does My Wife Need A Blender To Make Ramen Noodles? Why Can't She Use Her Hands To Break Up The Noodles?

 A woman using useless kitchen items to prepare Ramen Noodles for her starving husband.
A woman using useless kitchen items to prepare Ramen Noodles for her starving husband. | Source

I'm Embarrassed To Bring My Lunch To Work

We only have a few minutes for lunch, it's a waste of time to go off site to try and get a bite to eat. Everyone brings a lunch from home.

Richie's Wife Prepares This Noodle Dish Topped Off With Succulent Shrimp

Shrimp Noodles topped off with spices.
Shrimp Noodles topped off with spices. | Source

Caleb's Wife Makes A Meatball Dish That Smells So Good! (Guess what My Wife Packs Me For Lunch?)

Artfully arranged meatball dish.
Artfully arranged meatball dish. | Source

This Would Be A Great Lunch If I Were A Two-Year-Old Child Heading Off To Pre-School, But I'm A Grown Man!

Scooby Snacks
Scooby Snacks | Source

My Wife Does Not Behave Like A Woman Who Knows Her Way Around The Kitchen

My wife does not behave like a woman who knows her way around the kitchen. She looses things and breaks things.

I have tried to help out with the cooking on my off days. But she has destroyed the kitchen and she keeps loosing important utensils that i need in order to prepare a decent meal.

A couple of nights ago I attempted to bake a chocolate cake, but one of the mixing iron sticks, was missing, so I couldn't mix the cake batter correctly. It was awkward.

One Of The Mixing Iron Things Is Missing! Thanks To My Wife!

A mixer which  is missing one of the metal beaters.
A mixer which is missing one of the metal beaters. | Source

We Only Have One Pot Holder, My Wife Destroyed The Other One In The Ramen Noodle Fire

A tattered Potholder.
A tattered Potholder. | Source

Something Must Be Done About My Wife! I Can't Live Like This.

I love my wife and all. She smells nice she has great hair but, those qualities do not fill the hole in my stomach! I'm hungry!

I would drink my sorrows away if I could but, I don't have enough food in me to properly consume the alcohol intake.

I'm not the guy I used to be. I look like I'm dying of some kind of strange disease, I've loss so much weight.

My mom would die if she saw me in this condition. I'm grumpy all the time. I can't go on like this. I'm not made of money, we can't afford to eat out all the time.

I don't know what to do with my wife! I have enrolled her in cooking school, Angela can make bread from scratch now, this is good, but I want some meat between my teeth!

I know there are a variety of cooking programs on cable, but my wife has a short attention span, she can't focus on anything for too long.

What am I going to do? I'm hungry.

Philip.

The My Wife Can't Cook Poll.

Who Does Most OF The Cooking In Your Household?

See results without voting

Solution:

Dear Phillip:

There are some great recipes on the Hubpages! Most of the recipes are easy to follow. If your wife can make Ramen Noodles then she can...wait. Even if your wife can't make Ramen Noodles she should be able to follow many of the recipes listed on the Hubpages.

Phillip, many women start off as bad cooks practice makes perfect! Hang in there! I didn't know how to cook either when I got married. My husband does most of the cooking and I learned from him.

Be patient Phillip! Encourage your wife to keep on cooking. Until then I have added a video on how to make a peanut butter & jelly sandwich, form scratch.

How To Make A Peanut Butter & Jelly Sandwich

'Julie & Julia' A Unique Movie About Learining How To Cook!

Great Movie Julie & Julia

Lonnie Russ - My Wife Can't Cook 1962 45rpm

You May Need An Insightful Cookbook With Easy Steps

'Help! My Apartment Has a Kitchen Cookbook: 100 + Great Recipes with Foolproof Instructions'

I love this book! Help! My Apartment Has a Kitchen Cookbook: 100 + Great Recipes with Foolproof Instructions', is a great cooking guide for beginners.

Help! My Apartment Has a Kitchen Cookbook: 100 + Great Recipes with Foolproof Instructions

© 2014 Emunah La Paz

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4 comments

janshares 2 years ago

Hilarious but true in many cases. Voted funnym :)


swilliams profile image

swilliams 2 years ago from Arizona Author

Thanks Jan! Apparently to some men this is not funny. My kids cry when I enter the kitchen. I'm going to have to visit your site as well for some cooking lessons.


Kaki 2 years ago

Where can watch full movie jullie


swilliams profile image

swilliams 2 years ago from Arizona Author

I believe you can watch the movie on Amazon prime instant Video.

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