Perfect Things To Say When You Are Wrong

NABEEL-KHOKHAR-BHAI, a groom-to-be in Pakistan, had a terrible argument with his fiance, and did the manly-thing: bought space on a billboard to say he was sorry.
NABEEL-KHOKHAR-BHAI, a groom-to-be in Pakistan, had a terrible argument with his fiancé, and did the manly-thing: bought space on a billboard to say he was sorry.
APOLOGY ACCEPTED, ALL BECAUSE THIS WISE MAN DID THE NOBLE THING AND ADMITTED THAT HE WAS THE GUILTY PARTY FOR SOMETHING HE HAD FORGOTTEN HE HAD DONE.
APOLOGY ACCEPTED, ALL BECAUSE THIS WISE MAN DID THE NOBLE THING AND ADMITTED THAT HE WAS THE GUILTY PARTY FOR SOMETHING HE HAD FORGOTTEN HE HAD DONE.
COUPLES ARGUE. THAT'S NATURE. BUT IT'S THE MAN WHO IS MOSTLY WRONG IN THESE MARITAL SPATS.
COUPLES ARGUE. THAT'S NATURE. BUT IT'S THE MAN WHO IS MOSTLY WRONG IN THESE MARITAL SPATS.
YOU WONT HAVE TO KISS YOUR BOSS' FEET IF YOU ONLY OWN UP TO BEING WRONG, IF YOUR BOSS IS A WOMAN. AND IT WILL WORK FOR A MALE BOSS TOO.
YOU WONT HAVE TO KISS YOUR BOSS' FEET IF YOU ONLY OWN UP TO BEING WRONG, IF YOUR BOSS IS A WOMAN. AND IT WILL WORK FOR A MALE BOSS TOO.
HEY, NO VIOLENCE HERE. THIS GUY IS NOT ONLY WRONG, BUT VERY BRAVE. BUT DO ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG, GUYS, AND YOU WONT BE HIT BY A ROLLING PIN.
HEY, NO VIOLENCE HERE. THIS GUY IS NOT ONLY WRONG, BUT VERY BRAVE. BUT DO ADMIT THAT YOU WERE WRONG, GUYS, AND YOU WONT BE HIT BY A ROLLING PIN.
A TIFF WITH THE WIFE? EASILY-FIXED WITH A GESTURE OF PRETTY FLOWERS AND AN HUMBLE ADMISSION, BY YOU, THAT THE TIFF WAS YOUR FAULT.
A TIFF WITH THE WIFE? EASILY-FIXED WITH A GESTURE OF PRETTY FLOWERS AND A humble ADMISSION, BY YOU, THAT THE TIFF WAS YOUR FAULT.
NO MATTER HOW WRONG YOU ARE, JUST BE HONEST, HUMBLE AND NON-CONFRONTATIONAL, AND ASSUME THE BLAME GUYS.  AFTER ALL, YOU AND I ARE MEN.
NO MATTER HOW WRONG YOU ARE, JUST BE HONEST, HUMBLE AND NON-CONFRONTATIONAL, AND ASSUME THE BLAME GUYS. AFTER ALL, YOU AND I ARE MEN.
SMART MOVE--ADMITTING TO A WRONG ON LIVE TELEVISION.
SMART MOVE--ADMITTING TO A WRONG ON LIVE TELEVISION.
WHAT BETTER WAY TO SAY "I WAS WRONG," THAN TO GIVE "HER" A DOZEN EXPENSIVE RED ROSES!
WHAT BETTER WAY TO SAY "I WAS WRONG," THAN TO GIVE "HER" A DOZEN EXPENSIVE RED ROSES!
EVEN THOUGH YOUR WIFE TURNS HER BACK ON YOU, DONT GIVE UP. JUST KEEP TELLING HER HOW WRONG YOU WERE AND SHE WILL COME AROUND.
EVEN THOUGH YOUR WIFE TURNS HER BACK ON YOU, DON'T GIVE UP. JUST KEEP TELLING HER HOW WRONG YOU WERE AND SHE WILL COME AROUND.
GUYS, DON'T GET THE COLD SHOULDER. SIMPLY FOLLOW THE TIPS I GIVE YOU IN THIS STORY AND SUDDENLY, YOUR WORLD WILL BE PEACEFUL, BRIGHTER.
GUYS, DON'T GET THE COLD SHOULDER. SIMPLY FOLLOW THE TIPS I GIVE YOU IN THIS STORY AND SUDDENLY, YOUR WORLD WILL BE PEACEFUL, BRIGHTER.

GUYS:

DON'T USE

WORN-OUT

EXCUSES

LIKE . . .

  1. SORRY
  2. MY FAULT
  3. DIDN'T KNOW THAT
  4. WHAT? MY MISTAKE?
  5. WHAT BILL?
  6. YOUR BIRTHDAY?
  7. I MESSED UP
  8. OH WELL, MY BAD
  9. OOPSIE!
  10. MAYBE I WILL DO BETTER

LET'S GET ONE THING OUT OF THE WAY . . .

I am not perfect. You are not perfect. Even the world we live in is not perfect. Let's face it, guys, God is the only perfect being. And honestly, women are not that far behind our Creator in this description. Now do not get overly-righteous on me here. I am just quoting facts as they hit my mind. Question (to the men only) "In all your dealings with your wife or girlfriend, how many times was she wrong? And how many times were you wrong? I thought so. I am not saying anything new here. Just stepping to help myself, along with our male readers who, like me stumble on our own words. Feet. And judgements many times on the road of life.

Let's start from the beginning . . .

Okay. You have found the 'girl of your dreams.' Or you are dreaming about 'the girl of your dreams.' Then suddenly, out of nowhere, you fall in love with her and she becomes your wife. Your soul mate. Loving companion. And all is rosy. Peaches. Cream. Paradise all of the time. Then one evening, after a tough day at the office, you walk through the front door, and soon you are greeted by your loving wife that you left at 8:30 this morning with a pretty smile on her face, now that has changed into a cold, glaring stare. At you. Chills race up and down your spine. What do you do first? Let me guess. You make the mistake of opening your mouth and blurting out, "Uhhh, what did I do wrong?" You should have just smiled, and said, "Okay, dear. I know you are upset. And in all probability, it was something I done or something I neglected to do. I am sorry. Blame me," and maybe your wife would have calmed down.

But you didn't. You get all defensive and let your male bravado kick-in and then it's on. One heated word leads to another and soon, you are spending a cold night with no blanket in your one-car garage smelling Sherwin-Williams house paint all night long. But you could have been enjoying some good loving from your sweet misses and sleeping with her in your king-size bed with those deep, soft and cushy comforters you got a Sears last year on sale. And this is your fault, guys.

LET'S TAKE A GOOD LOOK AT

why men in general, get busted

by wives or girlfriends . . .

  1. LACK OF LISTENING
  2. NOT WANTING TO LISTEN
  3. EASILY-DISTRACTED
  4. MEN BEING MEN
  5. SELECTIVE-HEARING
  6. ONLY HEAR A WORD NOW AND THEN
  7. USES HALF HIS BRAIN TO LISTEN
  8. SEES MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL ON TV WHILE WIFE IS TALKING

These eight, simple tips, if used, would make you and I, great companions to our wives and girlfriends and I wouldn't have to write the rest of this story.

But I am doing this for "our" benefits...you and I, men, for we have to face certain facts about women . . .and here they are:

  1. WOMEN ARE MORE INTELLIGENT
  2. WOMEN ARE MORE AWARE OF THEIR SURROUNDINGS
  3. WOMEN ARE GREAT LISTENERS
  4. WOMEN, ALTHOUGH HARD TO UNDERSTAND, HAVE GREAT COMMUNICATION SKILLS
  5. WOMEN HAVE EXCELLENT COPING SKILLS
  6. WOMEN MAKE GREAT MANAGERS, LEADERS
  7. WOMEN CAN ASSEMBLE FACTS BETTER THAN MEN

Hey, guys. Don't go and get too harsh with yourselves. This is no way for us to correct the overlying problem of 'us,' menfolk, who are always messing up. Screwing up things. Stumbling on our words. Feet. And the expensive end table your mother-in-law gave your wife, her daughter, on her 39th birthday. Welcome to "DumboVille," guys. That's it. We are all the doofuses that our wives say that we are unless something is done. Quickly. And right away.

Remember in the above fictitious example of how you came home only to be glared at and given a cold shoulder by your wife for something you had done. Or not done? Well, don't blame yourself. Blame me. I hadn't wrote this story for you to read before you came home. Otherwise, if you had taken the time to read these sensitive, crucial, workable "Near-Perfect Things You Can Say When You Are Busted"--by the wife or girlfriend, you would be smiling. At peace. Sitting down to a delicious dinner. If you had just read (and followed) the things below:

1. DEAR, SORRY IS NOT ENOUGH. I ASK YOUR FORGIVENESS FOR ME BEING A MAN.

2. YOU ARE RIGHT, HONEY. I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO YOU ABOUT 50 MILES BACK AND TAKEN THAT WILDERNESS SHORT-CUT.

3. DID I MESS UP AGAIN? SURE, I DID. I AM A MAN. AND MEN ARE PRONE TO MESSING UP. FORGIVE ME, DARLING.

4. I WISH I HAD BEEN BORN A WOMAN. I GET TIRED OF MESSING UP BEING A MAN.

5. NO ARGUMENT, DEAR. TELL ME HOW "I" CAN FIX THIS?

6. YOU ARE RIGHT, DUMPLING! I SHOULD HAVE WAITED IN LINE AN EXTRA FOUR HOURS FOR THOSE EARRINGS YOU WANTED. I JUST PUT IN A MERE 14 HOURS, SORRY. JUST LET SKIP DINNER, SHOWER AND I WILL GO BACK TO THE MALL AND WAIT UNTIL THEY CLOSE IF I HAVE TO,TO GET THOSE EARRINGS YOU WANTED.

7. YOU BET, I SCREWED UP. WHAT CAN I SAY, BUT WOULD YOU ENROLL ME IN SOME NIGHT-CLASSES FOR MEN TO NEED HELP TO JUST LIVE?

8. YOUR MOM WAS RIGHT. YOU MADE A HUGE MISTAKE WHEN YOU TIED THE KNOT WITH ME. WHAT A WOMAN OF WISDOM, YOUR MOM.

9. ME? NO, I AM NOT A GROVELING, PANTY-WAIST. IAM TELLING THE COLD TRUTH. YOU WERE RIGHT DEAR. I WAS WRONG. AS USUAL. SO WOULD A NEW SUV, 2 WEEKS CRUISE HELP YOU TO FORGIVE ME?

10. YES, I AGREE. YOU NEEDED TO MARRY 'SALLYS' HUSBAND. HE DOESN'T MAKE AS MANY ERRORS AS I DO.

And guys, there you have it. Or them. Ten working. Sensitive. Humble things you can say the next time (not a matter of if) you get busted.

After all, male friends, we are just the mere, fleshly-mortals in the kingdom of mankind. And all we can do is pray, work, and hope that at some point, we can understand fully, how easy it is to just say, "You are right, doll, I was wrong."

What a great place our planet would be.

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Comments 24 comments

mary615 profile image

mary615 5 years ago from Florida

You have a lot of good advice here, friend. We should all heed your words. Goodnight.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Thanks so MUCH, Dear Mary! I mean that. And me, as a man, should practice what I preach in print. Might pay off. Good night to you too. KENNETH


Nellieanna profile image

Nellieanna 5 years ago from TEXAS

My dear Kenneth. Remember what "Gomer Pyle" used to say on the old Andy Griffith show: "Facetious, Facetious, Facetious!". hehehe! I got a kick out the humor! You wrote it so well too. Hugs.


jenubouka 5 years ago

This was awesome, you really hit the nail on the head here, I am making my boyfriend read this, and take notes...


rsusan profile image

rsusan 5 years ago from South Africa

Looks like you have had lots of practice, Kenneth...!:-) Oh, imagine the peaceful world if all men would just read this and take it to heart. Guys, this should just be common sense, or should I say com(men) sense! Good one, Kenneth. Loved the humor.


suzettenaples profile image

suzettenaples 5 years ago from Taos, NM

Great hub! We all need to be more forgiving in our personal relationships. Thank you for the compliments you make to women - I agree with you very much! lol But, we are all idiots sometimes, and the great thing is we can recover from our idiocy and be better in our relationships.

I do know and have known some kind, thoughtful and compassionate men who are good listeners. And, then there are some men whose pride and ego are more important to them. But, I think that can also be said for some women, too. We need to find the best in one another and try to bring that out of each other. Life is too short to be angry with one another for very long.

Love the photo of the billboard.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Nellieanna . . .LOL, Yes, I DO remember Gomer spouting that on Andy Griffith Show. What a marvelous memory you gave me. Thanks for the uplifting comment, Nellieanna. YOU are very-APPRECIATED!

KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

THANK YOU VERY MUCH jenobouka! That is great for you and the boyfriend to share everything...including this hub. That is the key to a solid relationship: sharing and for the guy to learn to LISTEN to you. Bless you very much! KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Rsusan . . .LOL, yeah, I've had to swallow (what)pride I had at the time to admit my errors, but I only grew by doing that and didn't vanish. LOL. My point is: guys, YOU WILL not be swallowed up by some dangerous beast from the unknown by admitting you are wrong. Thanks, rsusan. You are terrific hubber and friend. KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi to My New Friend, suzettenaples! And a sincere THANK YOU for the comment that made perfect sense. I appreciate your time to comment on this hub and hope to hear more from you in the future. Have a wonderful day. KENNETH


rsusan profile image

rsusan 5 years ago from South Africa

To be fair, Kenneth, we ALL have to learn to swallow our pride with grace. As a well-known television personality often says, 'Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?'. That just about sums it up I think.


greatparenting profile image

greatparenting 5 years ago from philadelphia, pa and corolla, nc

Well, Kenneth, you suggest that men aren't often right, but, in this hub, you certainly are. Voted up and funny. Thanks.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Right, rsusan...we all swallow pride, but I guess, to me, that us men have a tough time swallowing our pride for we always want to be 'the' hero, the 'fixer,' to all of our women friends' problems. And "I" always end up saying the wrong thing at the wrong time. But thank you, dear rsusan, you have always been so nice and understanding to me. I do NOT take that for granted. And wish for YOU a GREAT day. Sincerest Wishes, KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, grandparenting...LOL, sweet comment you made. I have no comeback suitable to play. You are not only right, but you have 'bested' me in the comment area. LOL, thanks for brightening up my day. KENNETH


always exploring profile image

always exploring 5 years ago from Southern Illinois

Loved it..Full of humor and truth..HaHa


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

THANKS VERY MUCH always exploring. That makes me feel great. YOU have a peaceful day Thursday and be safe. KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

fizzyfae, hi. Today, well, tonight is Nov. 17, at 10:05 p.m./cst and I want to THANK YOU from the heart, for your sweet comment. I will take a chuckle any day. By the way, that is my goal...to make as many people on hubs smile or laugh as I can before I have to leave this life. Honest. YOU are a TERRIFIC hubber and friend. Best Wishes....KENNETH, your friend for life and I do not charge for my support of YOU and YOUR work.


Millionaire Tips profile image

Millionaire Tips 5 years ago from USA

This is an EXCELLENT hub, and one all men should read. If they would simply understand that they are always wrong, and we are always right, all would be right with the world.


Sueswan 5 years ago

Hi Kenneth

Very funny my friend. Repeat after me. "Yes, Sue you are right." lol

"WOMEN, ALTHOUGH HARD TO UNDERSTAND, HAVE GREAT COMMUNICATION SKILLS"

I give you credit my friend you seem to understand us women quite well. ;-)

Hope you had a pleasant weekend.

Voted up, up and away!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

11/21/2011

Millionaire Tips . . .I agree with you. See? My system is working! And ALL men should take time to listen and learn, not just look and nod off. Thank YOU so much for this comment. Loved it.KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

11/21/2011

10:34 a.m./cst

Hello, DEAR Sueswan,

"Yes, You Are Right, Susan," is that okay? And thanks for the encouraging words of understanding women. I may market my wisdom, but naaah, most men wouldn't read it. And (a few) women might be offended and I do NOT want that. Thanks, sweet Suesan, for the votes too. YOU have a GREAT day and week ahead! KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

11/21/2011

10:33 a.m./cst

Hello DEAR Sueswan . . .Okay. "You are right, Susan," Thanks so much for the very kind remarks. I hope that my 'wisdom' will pay off in a life of peace. Fondly, KENNETH


Sueswan 5 years ago

Of course it is okay Kenneth. I was just having some fun with you. ;-)

Wishing you a good day and week. :-)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

LOL!!! Dear Sueswan...me too! I needed a fresh laugh. And I wish YOU a Good Day and Safe Week ahead and BE careful when you are driving. And remember to savor each drop of life as it comes to you. As a favor to me. Fondly, Kenneth

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