Never Correct Your Asian Girlfriend's English Accent
-- For Men Who Love Asian Women
A Chinese girl friend of mine once told me that she had a serious fight with her American (who is a Caucasian) boyfriend because "...he always corrects my English. He somehow even made fun of my accent. Although he always emphasized later to me that he was just joking, I still feel uncomfortable once a while. Picking on my accent makes me feel like he is showing his superiority as a man and an English speaker....I am a very talented and capable person and I think my English is fluent. He actually can understand me perfectly. I just don't see why my accent is so bothering him that made him desperately want to pick on every single one of my God Damn English!...."
This girl ended up breaking up with her boyfriend. The guy was so shock and for a very long time he couldn't believe that correcting his girl friend's English grammar and accent can be such a big deal. He thinks that he was just doing her own good and it is the most ridiculous broke up that he ever had.
I happened to have a similar experience with my first boyfriend, who is a native speaker in English. He corrected my English and made fun of my accent often. That time was my fourth year living in the U.S. and my first year in college. My self-esteem went low when every time he made fun of my English. Of course, he always argued that he was only joking, nothing in purpose and he thought he was actually helping me improve my English. I then had a very strong desire to learn to speak perfect English, not only make myself feel better but I can also make my boyfriend shut up and be really proud of me.
My first relationship with an American boyfriend didn't work out well; however, I got really motivated about training myself speaking perfect English. I deeply believe that speak fluent English will not only make me being competitive in my future job field but also make me being more attractive to any men in the U.S. Just like I found that native Chinese men who speak fluent Mandarin (as native people from Beijing) are really attractive to me, too.
One time I actually refused going out with an American guy who corrected my accent while he tried to ask me out, of course I never told him the actual reason why he was rejected. Yes, I came to the U.S. when I was very young (15) and I now speak fluent English. However, I still can't help speaking with slidely Chinese accent. The type of accent that sounds a little stiff due to Chinese language doesn't have that much retroflex tones compare with English. I ended up go to graduate school studying Chinese Linguistic 10 years ago in San Francisco State University. Just like women having plastic surgeries to upgrade her outlook or body parts, I thought I can do the similar job to my English. In the beginning I tent to find a way to get rid of my accent but I found that it's hardly achieved for most people in my age. I learned the fact that accent is a manner. My native language doesn't contain certain sound that English uses so I have no capability to pronounce certain words correctly. No matter how smart I am, accents are not fixed even in adulthood.
Although two years of graduate school in Chinese Linguistic doesn't make me get rid of all my Chinese accent when speaking English, I surprisingly found that I got rid of all my Taiwanese accent when speaking Chinese Mandarin. I guess I must be a really good student who pick up all the rules of Chinese Linguistic and successfully applied to my native language. I now speak perfect and beautiful Mandarin that impresses most native Chinese. Even many "Beijingers" think I am from Beijing. I take that as the best compliment to my language talent.
My husband is a native Chinese from Beijing and ironically he is not crazy about my perfect Mandarin. He told me that he prefers woman who speaks Chinese with a little Taiwanese accent and Taiwanese grammar because "they sound really cute". I have to admit that I totally agree with my husband because I have found that many girls from mainland China have a tendency copying the way that Taiwanese girls talking. The grammar is purely mainland Mandarin but the tone of voice is tender and innocent, totally unlike Beijing Mandarin which sounds sharp, smart and tough. My husband has heard too much Beijing Mandarin and in compare with women from different provences he thinks "Taiwanese Chinese" is attractive to him.
I guest some men prefer women speak with some type of accent. Accent in fact makes one being special and unique. I personally think native Japanese women are extremely attractive when they speak any different foreign languages (So far I've experienced hearing native Japanese women speak English, Chinese Mandarin, Cantonese, German and French and they all coming with remarkable accent.). The accent might be heavy but the tone of voice is always very cute and somehow sexy which makes me really admire.
O.K., back to the title "never correct your Asian girlfriend's English Accent". All I am trying to say is that if you really love your native Asian girlfriend, better accept the fact that she has to have accent when speaking English. Please find a way to appreciate and enjoy such a one-of-a-kind tone of voice. According to my personal experience, one's accent is just like gay man who would never be straight. Please don't try to correct your girlfriend's accent because this will only make you look like a male shovenistic asshole. And there is no kidding that a woman will break up with you (or refuse dating with you) because of that. If you really can not stand her accent please let her English teacher do the dirty job. Or, simply find women from different races that speak perfect English.
And the best way of improving your native Asian girlfriend's English is to keep on speaking perfect English to her, without stupid content. She might have accent but this doesn't mean that she is stupid or uneducated. She will definitely pick up your manner and find you really attractive if you speak to her smartly and wisely.