Nice Guys Versus Badboys

Some women, mostly young and impressionable, are attracted to the badboy types and while they might be fun for a while they aren’t good long-term partners.

Badboys may seem more exciting in the beginning but they do not make good husbands or fathers. You’ve heard the saying: Nice guys finish last. It's a term meaning that if you are too nice you are in last place.

Why are girls attracted to badboys?

Badboys appear to be confident, outgoing and strong. It’s a carry over from Neanderthal days when it was important to have a man who was capable of keeping her safe from predators and other males. These thrill seekers are seen as adventurous and brave. She thinks the assertive macho man is a better protector and provider, when in many cases these guys will save themselves and leave Juliet in the dust.

We’ve moved on and now men no longer need to protect women from danger. Some of us realize a man doesn’t have to carry a club and be bigger than life to make a good husband.

Nice guys are better husbands and fathers.

Why you should forget the bad boys:

One Night Stand

You may think that since you are only looking for a fling and not looking for a commitment it’s okay and you have nothing to worry about. You are wrong.

Women have this little problem of falling in love with men they sleep with. Naturally this doesn't happen every time but we can't always control our heart.

Rebels tend to be risk takers, many don’t use condoms and some even break the law.

Don’t let them talk you into not using a condom no matter what kind of tale they weave. They aren’t worth it.

Condoms are not fail proof; sometimes they break.

Use one anyway.

Greater risk of STD

Since they are less likely to use protection they are more likely to carry diseases. Being more sexually active means he will more than likely leave you with a souvenir that may last you a lifetime.

Bad boys are more likely to cheat.

It amazes me the women who whine about not being able to find a good man but habitually look for the same type badboy. The last one cheated on you and yes the next badboy will too. It’s what they do. They enjoy that image and brag about it to their friends. You are no different and can’t change him.

They do not change.

Excitement doesn’t pay the bills.

Partying and carousing is expensive so unless he has a great job (most of them don’t) or comes from a family with money, you are going to have to support yourself and him. These guys are notorious for borrowing money from their girlfriends and oddly enough some are stupid enough to give it to them.

Even if his parents are wealthy they may eventually get tired of his behavior and cut him off. I’ve seen this many times.

Looks aren’t everything.

Women need to wise up and realize that just because a man is good looking, muscular and self-assured doesn’t mean he’ll be a good husband or father. These are the guys who love ‘em and leave ‘em often with children. They are the dead-beat dads we all hear about and the low life who often ends up in prison. Do yourself a favor, take another look at that nice guy you know and give him a chance. He’s not boring he’s reliable; last time I looked that’s what makes a great husband.

Leave them at the curb.

If enough women stop paying attention to these guys they would slink back to the alleys where they belong.

Look for a guy who has a stable job, isn’t a thrill seeker and will be there for you through thick and thin. You’ll be surprised; just because a man doesn’t act macho in public doesn’t mean he isn’t exciting behind closed doors. Those shy geeks will surprise you once you warm them up.

How do you know if he’s a bad boy?

Where do bad boys hang out?

One of their favorite places to congregate is a bar. I’m not saying all men in bars are bad but a large percentage of them are. Many either have a drinking problem or they are looking for one night stands. Those looking for a long-term relationship seldom look for a woman in a club. Some are socializing with friends and on rare occasions you can find a nice man but your chances of finding a player are much greater.

How do you spot a bad boy?

They have a cocky attitude, no respect for women and a big ego. They come in all races and flavors and all speak the same language. They think they are God’s gift to women and you should be thrilled to be seen with him. If he asks you out you are lucky. (No, you are his next victim.)

Passion doesn’t pay the bills

Sure hot monkey sex is fun and makes our blood boil but after a while it simmers down to a low heat so why not find that nice guy who starts out on low. You’d be surprised how sexy a nerd is under the sheets.

Find a man with ambition in a career, not pursuing as many women as he can. Look for a guy who has his priorities in order and respects you as a person and not just a sex tool to make him feel good.

A hunk looks good on your arm but he won’t last, will leave you heart broken and with a lower self esteem.

Where do you find nice guys?

They are all around you. That man you only want to be friends with just may be the man of your dreams. Try being more than friends, which may lead to dating.

That nice guy who works in the computer department and doesn’t say much but works hard could be the one.

Nice guys won’t say lines at a bar, brag about his accomplishments or how much money he has. Nice guys are humble and will let you make an assessment yourself.

He won’t sweep you off your feet, demand your attention or flirt with your friends.

Find a man who will make you feel special for the rest of your life, not just one night.

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Comments 58 comments

JB 4 years ago

With me it's always the other way around. I am a man and I always have been attracted by bad girls.

dariashakti profile image

dariashakti 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

Love it! Take a look at those nerdy guys, those little guys and the ones that are a bit chubby...they are just waiting for someone to love them and will treat you like a queen! Fun hub! :}

MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

I am reading his forty years to late, and to be honest, even if I've read it in time, I would not have listen. I was born without (proverbial) ears.

Excellent write-up on the Good en the Bad Boys, Pam!

onegreenparachute profile image

onegreenparachute 4 years ago from Greenwood, B.C., Canada

Oh ya! Been there, done that and bought the t-shirt. Then I married him. BIG mistake. When I met my second husband I wasn't interested at first - but thank goodness I must have grown up somewhere along the way. He's a gem and I wouldn't trade him for all the bad boys in the world! Great hub. Voted up and awesome.

ziyena profile image

ziyena 4 years ago from Southern Colorado

Luv this hub. Had a few bad boys myself back in the day and they all ended up in jail lol

Now I have a nice one and he's a keeper.

Voted up and I'm going to pin to my pinterest ... :)

writer20 profile image

writer20 4 years ago from Southern Nevada

My younger sister always managed to find bad boys. When she was living with me (10 years older) I could tell straight away the one she bought home was a piece **** and it didn't take long for her to find out.

Good hub to teach younger ones. Voted up, useful and interesting. Joyce.

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

JB, I thought all men were attracted to bad girls they just didn't want to marry one.

Darla, I've always had a soft spot for the quiet shy guys and never could understand what women saw in bad boys. I love nerds.

Martie, some women are just drawn to bad men.

Onegreenparachute, I'm glad you found a good one. When we do it's like finding treasure.

Zlyena, prisons are full of bad boys.

Writer20, I can pick one out of a crowd and avoid them like the plague. I have no use for bad boys.

rasta1 profile image

rasta1 4 years ago from Jamaica

I think women like a mixture of both bad and nice, based off my experience.

swb64 profile image

swb64 4 years ago from Addingham, UK.

A little while ago I carried some research here in the Uk, through various means, as the more professional dating sites develop then part of signing up is to try prove you are divorced and have been single for over two years after a medium to long term relationship of two to five years.

The point im getting to is that more women are starting to find themselves single going into the late 40s early 50s, this apparently is through choice as its taken those most of the married life to realise they just want someone nice and not 'too' complicated.

It also appears the bad boys can usually end up single a long long time, hang on, im a good one and been single almost fours now - where is she!!!

Good Hub and very correct.

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Not this girl, rasta. I can spot a bad boy a mile a way and have no use for them. I'll take a nice guy any day of the week.

swb64, I think women are wising up and realizing it's better to be alone than with a loser. Keep looking and you'll find a lady.

Express10 profile image

Express10 4 years ago from East Coast

This should be required reading for some young ladies. I will not understand why some women put themselves through nonsense with bad boys. As you said they end up disappointed. I enjoyed reading this useful hub.

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Express, I hope that more young women will realize how much better off they will be if they choose a good guy over a thug.

dahoglund profile image

dahoglund 4 years ago from Wisconsin Rapids

My wife used to work as a volunteer for an organization to help endangered women. I kept wondering why these women marry guys who hit them. and why they go back.

Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

Marcy Goodfleisch 4 years ago from Planet Earth

Lots of very true words in this hub! I hope people (women) read it and take heed; it will save them a bunch of pain in the future. Nice guys are worth a million and one of the bad apples.

Voted up, useful, interesting and SHARED!

Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

Excellent hub Pam, I know a few women who could benefit from this information! I agree with Rasta, he has a valid point. UP/Awesome!

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Dahoglund, I have wondered that myself but they seem to go right back believing his stories. They never change.

Marcy, they are worth a million and I wouldn't trade for mine.

Sunshine, hopefully some will pay attention.

AEvans profile image

AEvans 4 years ago from SomeWhere Out There

Moons ago I dated a bad boy, His ego was big, he was handsome and non-committal. Needless to say I learned my lesson! Thumbs up and shared! :)

CJ Sledgehammer 4 years ago

Well, in the Old Testament women were laying down with demons, so not much has changed since the days of old.

It would seem, however, that over time women have given up the practice of bedding down with demons and are now just consorting with the "bad boys". It would appear that they are headed in the right direction, so if we give them a couple thousand more years, they may get it right. :0)

I cannot say too much because I married an all-American bad-girl. She was beautiful but rotten to the core. (I didn't know that at the time because she bedazzled me with all the "Jesus" talk).

I've been divorced for a few years now, but I still have a reoccurring nightmare that we are still married. Wakes me up every time.

Pam, your Hub is chalked full with common sense and good advice and I pray all women hear your words and act accordingly. I just won't hold my breath. :0)

Best wishes and be well - C.J. Sledgehammer

swb64 profile image

swb64 4 years ago from Addingham, UK.

CJ, I can can also sympathise, after 18 years I finally divorced my ex wife in 2003, I have two brilliant sons who I occasionally see. I hope im ok saying this but she was brought up in a very religious environment, seems I - for some reason - brought the evil out in her.

CJ Sledgehammer 4 years ago

Why is it that you blame yourself, SWB64?

swb64 profile image

swb64 4 years ago from Addingham, UK.

Phew, after ten years its only over the last few years (decided to stop dating) I realised it really was not my fault, im not perfect at all but I am a nice human. I think many folks on the receiving end really do blame themselves when in fact they are innocent.

What I do know is; Im getting to a point where I would like to meet a nice woman again, though ill, I can't offer anything materialistic but I can offer complete trust and honesty, at 47 I hope its not too late!!!

CJ Sledgehammer 4 years ago

Well, they say that one is only as young as their spine is flexible. But, you have some other things going on as well.

At 47, you are still quite young, so I wouldn't worry about that. If, at all possible, try to get healthy and then dive back into the dating pool once again.

Take care of yourself, SW, that's an order - C.J. Sledgehammer

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

SWB and C.J. there are also bad women. I have't known any personally but have heard stories. At 47, SWB isn't too old, I know people in their 70's and 80's that find love so it's always possible.

CJ Sledgehammer 4 years ago

Pamela, did you really mean it when you said, " I haven't known any personally" (referring to bad women).

If I am not mistaken, it is quite common for women to forge tight-nit social groups and networks. Please correct me if I am wrong.

Having said that, perhaps men are in the best position to judge if a woman is "good" or "bad", after all, he's the one that has to go home with her. :0)

I will also dare to say that many women treat their friends better than their husbands. As they say, "Men come and go, but friends are forever."

Best wishes and be well - C.J. Sledgehammer

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

CJ, I haven't known any bad girls who got married to men. I knew a few back when I was single but they didn't get married. Since I've been married which is a long time, I haven't known any.

As far as women that don't treat their husband well I have known a few but I wouldn't call them bad girls. Maybe my definition of bad girl is just different than yours.

CJ Sledgehammer 4 years ago

"Maybe my definition of a bad girl is just different than yours."

Well, Pamela, that seems fair enough. :0)

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Probably so. Perhaps you should write an article about it. :o)

homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 4 years ago from Texas

This was a very interesting read. I dated a few bad boys in my day (over 30 years ago) but am happy to say I married a nice guy and so very happy that I did.

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Homesteadbound, the nice guys make the best husbands.

CJ Sledgehammer 4 years ago

Indeed, nice guys (actually "good" men) do make the best partners and husbands, Pamela, but in this day and age of instant divorce, women can cash in their husbands like an old pair of shoes and just run out and get another.

I used to frequent a marriage and divorce website a few years ago, and what astounded me was the perpetual poor judgment exhibited by many of those women, such that, I came to know the breed as "serial victims".

You know the ones - they do the same old thing over and over because they are addicted to the drama and the adrenaline rush. They think the same instructions for happiness in a relationship can be found on a bottle of conditioner - "just rinse and repeat".

What I learned from these women is that many have a subtle disregard for "nice" and "good" men, at least on a subconscious level. What they really want is drama and most are dopamine and adrenaline junkies who are able to rinse and repeat through the advent of quickie divorces, favorable divorce judgments, including child custody.

So, what then, is the incentive to find a "good" man or "nice" guy? And, that's the point...many women have no incentive or motivation to find a good man - because she already gets her cake and eat it, too.

Back in the day, when morality actually mattered, women had to be a bit more selective because of the clause "until death do us part", but not anymore.

Like a river, people usually take the path of least resistance and many women think it is happier to get a few years of high drama, wild animal sex, and a couple good beatings, before she terminates the marital lease and heads down to the local bad boy dealership (bar or nightclub) to find another model. :0)

Ever wonder why the divorce rate is hovering around 60%?

Best wishes and be well - C.J. Sledgehammer

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

C.J. I have two rules, no hitting and no cheating. My husband and I have been married for many years and he's never broken either one. Incidentally, I follow the same rules.

CJ Sledgehammer 4 years ago

See, I always knew you were one of the good ones. :0)

WannaB Writer profile image

WannaB Writer 4 years ago from Templeton, CA

Very good advice. I hope it's read by a lot of young women. I was never attracted to the bad boys, but I've known plenty of women who were.

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Thanks, C.J.

WannaB Writer I never cared for them either and saw right through them. I like pretty boys but they have to be nice guys too.

Robwrite profile image

Robwrite 4 years ago from Bay Ridge Brooklyn NY

Very good hub, Pamela; I've suffered from the 'nice guy' syndrome too often in my life and I've ended up in the friend zome too many times, becoming the counsellor to girls who are dating bad boys.

Thanks for the excellent hub,


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Robwrite, have them read this article. :o)

Some women just have a harder time figuring it out.

pmccray profile image

pmccray 4 years ago from Utah

Tee Hee this hub is so great. Yes we do love us some bad boys. My last husband is a bit of a bad boy, but not by much his good way out weighs his bad. You are so right that they make horrid mates. Mainly due to their lack of rule following, which brings with it lack of responsibily and accountability equals an immature louse of a mate. Been there done that :( Voted up, marked useful and interesting.

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Thanks, pmccray.

DabbleYou profile image

DabbleYou 4 years ago

Very interesting hub. Bookmarked it for future reading.

MPChris profile image

MPChris 4 years ago from Atlanta, GA

Every good guy has some bad qualities. Every 'bad guy' has some redeeming qualities. I've always hated this stereotype in particular.

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Dabbleyou, thanks for reading.

MPChris, that is usually true.

ishwaryaa22 profile image

ishwaryaa22 4 years ago from Chennai, India

A truly engaging and wise hub on nice guys versus badboys! After reading many sensible points listed by you, this reminded me of my life experiences(childhood -an old school crush who turned to be too egoistic, indifferent and arrogant! Though I was initially upset, fortunately I got over it and moved on. Now I am quite young and single, I learnt how to be practical about the definition of a nice guy - with a golden heart that makes my life beautiful!) Well-done!

Thanks for SHARING. Awesome & Interesting. Voted up & Socially Shared.

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Ishwaryaa, most of them are arrogant and egotistical. They aren't worth your time and you are better off without him.

alocsin profile image

alocsin 4 years ago from Orange County, CA

I hope a lot of younger people read this -- good advice. The video at the end is an excellent ending. Voting this Up and Useful.

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Alocsin, Kevjumba has a lot of great videos. Thanks for reading.

El Ray 4 years ago

Pamela N Red you've given some excellent advice here in this Hub article. I think the section on One Night Stands is dead on point. Voting this up + useful!

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Thanks, El Ray. I think if more women looked for nice guys they'd be happy.

me 4 years ago

I see so mush FRIENDZONED!

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Thanks, Me.

sumish 4 years ago

iam not scared at all now`cos there is still hope for us nice guys i feel so happy you pretty ladies all give us support when today's young ladies sees us like a disease

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Sumish, there are women out there that appreciate a good man.

TheMMAZone profile image

TheMMAZone 4 years ago from Kansas

This has always mystified me so thank you for the tremendous insight. Marked it as "useful" for guys like me that shake their heads when the bad guy walks away with the girl.


Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

The MMAZone, some women never learn but there are some who appreciate a good man and realize they are much better men.

Felina Margetty profile image

Felina Margetty 4 years ago from New York, New York

I can tell you I don't mind a nice guy.F.

BobbyD 4 years ago

I am a well established man. I am morally ahead for my age. I am a single father making 6 figures, zero debt and I'm still in my twenties. Sadly, I am alone and have been for years. I am a nice guy but not a pushover. I am not cocky and very understanding. I guess when you were basically come from a family that was periodically homeless it changes how you see things in life.

I have seen many married women shocked that I am still on the market and even think I'm secretly gay because I haven't been on a single date in years. Just nobody is interested. I don't and never did have the heart to treat a lady or anyone else bad on purpose so no matter how hard I try to be "bad," my conscious will eat me up.

So instead of getting depressed I have learned that I will never accept being second nor that my happiness should rest on someone else's hands.

I am still in my twenties btw.

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

Bobby, you have plenty of time if you are only in your twenties. Just be yourself and someday you'll find the perfect girl.

its my life 4 years ago

what's the point on making this nice article when 80% of you women in this world hated on nice guys .most women will like us in the end we want everything in start not in the end there is no big deal in this article someone who likes us here is the ones who turned to ashes quite a while ago we don't need you is best thing we can do to ourself stop falling for women is the best way you can end the whole pain in you my peoples

Pamela N Red profile image

Pamela N Red 4 years ago from Oklahoma Author

I am hoping to enlighten those women who don't look for a nice guy. Some do come around after being hurt multiple times.

I hope you find someone who won't take you for granted.

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