Nicole Richie's Wedding Dress (and Elephant)

Wedding gown by Marchesa.
Wedding gown by Marchesa.

You know what the problem with traditional weddings is? The bride comes out wearing her wedding dress, then stays in the same tatty bridal rags throughout the ceremony and reception. It's disgusting really. Thank god for celebrities showing us how to live our lives to higher standards. Nicole Richie paved the way for even more expensive wedding when she went against the one dress trend and wore not one, but three wedding dresses at different times throughout the day.

Thus far only one wedding dress has leaked and suffice to say, Nicole Richie's wedding dress is the stuff of dreams. Scientists estimate that the sheer amount of tulle in the skirt would probably act as a fairly efficient parachute if Nicole happened to end up falling through the air at any point during her wedding, which, as unlikely as it may seem, is not nearly as mad and over the top as the reality of the affair, which allegedly included an elephant.

If you're the sort of bride to be who hopes to recreate a celebrity style wedding, you can forget any hopes of competing with Nicole Richie. There was an elephant at her wedding. An elephant wearing clothes. Seriously. Why was there an elephant? Because Nicole Richie understands that her worth as a woman is directly related to how large and lavish her wedding is. Simplicity and elegance are for peasants who can't afford to have an intelligent and endangered creature paraded about for their enjoyment.

Us Magazine tracked down the reason for the elephant, tying it to an interview conducted by Ryan Seacrest on Larry King Live in 2005. When asked why she wanted an elephant at her wedding, Nicole tittered merrily to herself, then opened her mouth and let the insane just come pouring out like the ancient waters of the Nile.

"Elephants are really good luck. And they're beautiful animals. You don't think? You know, the movie Coming to America ... (referring to the Eddie Murphy in which Eddie Murphy plays an African prince in America) … I want it bigger than that," she said.

Returning to the pressing matter of the dress itself however, credit where credit is due, puffy tulle which would usually be garish and awful actually looks quite charming on Nicole's waifish figure. She looks like a little bit like a Barbie stuck in the top of a cotton candy stick. (And if that's not a lovely mental image, then I don't know what is.)

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