On Marriages Made in Heaven
“You were born together, and together you shall be forevermore. You shall be together when the white wings of death scatter your days.”
In his opening lines the prophet, Kahlil Gibran, cuts to the chase by immediately clarifying the perspective from which he is going to describe marriage as it was meant to be. There are no vows or contracts that can bind two people together who are already joined in Love. Contrary to the separation symbolised by our physical bodies we are not separate beings. We buy into an illusion that we are separate and regardless of what we choose to believe nothing can separate us, not even death. It is our thoughts and beliefs that stand between us as barriers and which can so easily be swept aside when we awaken to the truth of who we really are.
“Ay, you shall be together even in the silent memory of God. But let there be spaces in your togetherness, And let the winds of the heavens dance between you.”
We have forgotten who we are though we are often reminded especially during the highest and lowest points our lives. There is a vague memory there that resides behind what we believe to be true about the world we live in. The curtain of illusion is thick but by opening our hearts and minds to entertain ideas that lie outside our belief system we allow the breeze of change to enhance our relationships and give us room to dance freely with each other. Unless we give each other this space we seek to control rather than accept each other.
“ Love one another, but make not a bond of love: Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup but drink not from one cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, Even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music.”
Marriage is a relationship in which two people enter into an agreement which allows sharing of an intimate nature but never to the detriment of either. This special agreement celebrates a union which is not of the ego. The normal activity of the ego is to find a purpose for each person we enter into relationship with, in order to fulfill a need and validate the idea that we are in some way lacking. Marriage in its true sense is an offering to our higher consciousness so that the relationship has a purpose that transcends that of the ego's desire to control. The freedom afforded by such a union knows no earthly bounds and can be likened to a dance in which the dancers become the dance and life is thus celebrated.
“Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping. For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts. And stand together yet not too near together: For the pillars of the temple stand apart, And the oak tree and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow.”
Marriage offers us the opportunity to realise that there is room for all of us. We can live in peace together. We can love and accept each other and there is a greater purpose to our lives than serving an ego that seeks to own and control everything and everyone. To love is to share unconditionally and in a marriage founded on unconditional love two people are afforded the opportunity to experience being one without the need to find fault or lack in each other. It is a reflection of the relationship we once had with the divine and which encompasses the whole of humanity. It is another way for us to heal the fragmented self by wecoming home all the parts we have judged and rejected. Marriage is another way for us to remember who we really are and return to love.
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