Online Dating - A Personal Experience!

One of the most popular dating websites.
One of the most popular dating websites.

Dating websites - Scams or ?

Hello everyone. I haven't been posting much lately since I was busy with this topic that now have finally published. I want to share my experiences with online dating. This had a two-fold purpose. The first being to check out stories I have heard about people getting scammed by hoards of criminals on these sites, and secondly, and most importantly, to search for a female companion to share my life with.

I joined a couple of internet sites to do this and what an experience. This is a bit embarrassing, the second purpose to be specific, since it is very personal and having to admit that I can't seem to find a good woman to date and maybe more has had me turn to the internet. But, pride is worthless and I may prevent some innocent man or woman the pain and hurt that can result if you are not careful. So, get ready to protect your heart and life if you are considering trying out a dating service.

The bait -  Free membership.
The bait - Free membership.
The hook - a hot babe is interested.  If you bite too soon, you are the hooked fish being reeled in to be gutted.
The hook - a hot babe is interested. If you bite too soon, you are the hooked fish being reeled in to be gutted.
What we won't do for love!
What we won't do for love!

Dating Sure Isn't What it Used to Be.

Dating has sure changed since I was in high school! The computer age has affected everyone's life, and dating is no different. In the past, if you wanted a date, you usually called the person on the phone, or asked them in person for a date. I remember sweating bullets before doing either one! With the internet, that is all gone. You can be completely anonymous while you look for a date or your mate. There are so many websites that offer dating services, and some are okay, but there are many that are not good. They are fronts for prostitution and all kinds of junk. There are only 3 services that are really considered safe. I can provide them for you privately since I cannot list their names here since it would be advertising.

Most of the sites are free of charge which looks great. The problem is that you are very limited in what you can do. Many, you cannot email the person you would like to talk to and get to know. This is very frustrating. So, in order to email someone, you have to pay for it ...and it isn't cheap! I have joined two websites and started both free. You create a profile and post it on their service. Anyone can see you, email you, etc., and you can conduct a search for a woman/man in a particular area. I did that just to check it out, but I would say that in under an hour, I got some emails from women that read my profile and wanted to make contact. Most I wasn't interested in for various reasons, but one or two I was interested in getting to know. When cupid shoots you in the butt with his love arrows, beware.

So, I wanted to email these women and had to buy a subscription to do so. Most run between $23 - $30 a month. If you get more than one month at a time, you pay less per month. Well, I paid for 1 month at $29.95. Ouch! But, I could email and communicate with the ladies now. It is kind of fun, but just like anything else, you can get sucked in fast and have to be VERY careful.

I communicated with some and we talked...some stuck around, but some disappeared a few days later...perhaps finding someone they 'liked' better. No big deal. Well, this site really wasn't working great, so went to another site. It was free, but later ended up getting a subscription...ca-ching...more cash.

Now I had two sites to check and it was better since I was finding more women to learn about. I do have a pretty close relationship with one at this point, but I can only go so far since we are only talking by computer.

Now that I could communicate by email, we talked and started chatting by an Instant messaging service like Skype. A lot of these dating sites have their own chat rooms, but most use a more advanced IM. Now, the ball really started rolling and we learned about each other very quickly by chatting online. It was really fun and the lady I was chatting with was becoming interested in going further, as was I!

Now everything is cool when you are just emailing, chatting online, etc. You still can be totally anonymous and the other person doesn't know any personal information unless you give it to them. You are safe behind your computer screen and have your webcam off. But still you can be vulnerable and this really happened to me 4 TIMES in less than 2 weeks. These all happened before I met the wonderful lady I am communicating with now.

Scams are hard to avoid on some dating sites.  They are everywhere!
Scams are hard to avoid on some dating sites. They are everywhere!
Typical photo used on many websites to trick men.
Typical photo used on many websites to trick men.
Another photo used to lure men into a scammer's reach.
Another photo used to lure men into a scammer's reach.
Boy, is this the truth!   No joke!!!
Boy, is this the truth! No joke!!!

Warning! Let the Buyer Beware

Now for the darker side of this. Unfortunately, these dating sites have been a major draw for scams and cheats, hence the first reason I even did this. Since everyone is anonymous, there is a lot of stuff going on that is just plain dangerous. Men seem to be the victims most of the time, but I am hearing the same thing is happening to women too! I was almost taken in when it first happened to me. Here is what happened to me..not once, but 4 times.

I was searching for a lady to have a possible relationship with, but the ladies were searching too. I got emails from several and this was the bait. Everyone, and I mean everyone of them were absolutely beautiful...beautiful bodies, you name it. Just like the ones in the photos to the right. Everything they told me was exactly what I wanted to hear....the bait and hook were ready for a big bite from me! They all wanted someone older that was mature and wouldn't abuse them, etc. I am not stupid, so I was suspicious immediately when a 30 year old foxy, hot woman contacted me in a swimsuit and was literally throwing herself into my eager arms! She had read my profile and I was what she was looking for. She was also not near where I lived, which concerned me and also her age was so much younger.

I will answer any email just out of courtesy, so I answered hers. She seemed very nice and we talked for awhile. This happened over a few days and she started to get very close, etc. Of course, some old fart like me was just eating this up..a hot babe...gorgeous to the max was interested in me...yeah right. But is was fun to have a hot babe drooling over me. Well, I finally asked where she lived and it just happened to be a city I knew fairly well. Somehow she knew she had to get out of this or the whole scam was over. She told me that she wasn't in that city at the moment, (nice evasive tactic since I knew that city and would know if she was dishonest). She told me that she was not in the country now, but in Ghana or Nigeria or some unheard of country.

Now I have heard about a lot of scamming coming from those countries prior to getting on this site, so was keeping my eyes open. We talked and talked and we wanted to meet. All this time she told me she wanted to meet me and come to the U.S and be together...what bull! But, I played along. She finally got bold and said she would come meet me and that I should send for her. She said that 'send for her' often and finally asked what she meant. She told me she couldn't afford to get here, but really wanted to come home to the U.S., and if I would help her. BAM!!! Talk about getting nailed right between the eyes with a 2X4. I knew I was being scammed totally by this point and we talked about the money thing for quite awhile. She was a good con artist...patient and knew when and when not to push. She did her best to win my trust, but I dug myself in. So, after days of sweet talking me, saying she wanted to be with me, etc., she turned from a Dr. Jekyll to Ms. Hyde. She really got ugly and mean... then just vanished when I wouldn't send her the money for a ticket.

This happened 3 more times...almost the same story...etc. I started asking immediately about the age difference and not being in the same town. All said, "Age is just a number..blah, blah." Each time they told me their parents had died or some other tragedy and a relative in Ghana or someplace took them there to care for them. It was almost funny and one time actually completed the story for them. That was the fastest rejection I ever got! LOL Each time we began to get close and wanted to meet, the money thing came up. They got mad and called me a heartbreaker, and a lot of other stuff. I know there are many good and honest people on these sites, but there are many cheats and criminals too.

I was lucky that I wasn't stupid enough to send any of these crooks money, but know other men and women that have been cheated. Just be careful and keep your eyes open. If your gut says something isn't right, don't ignore it!!!


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Comments 14 comments

iamageniuster profile image

iamageniuster 5 years ago

Very nice article. Thanks for sharing. It is true that most dating sites are scams.


Knightheart profile image

Knightheart 5 years ago from MIssouri, USA Author

There are only 3, I would ever use.. the rest are breeding grounds for crime. Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment.


Dave Mathews profile image

Dave Mathews 5 years ago from NORTH YORK,ONTARIO,CANADA

Seems to me like fear has taken over the art of dating so much so that people actually feel more comfortable meeting or should i say not meeting through technology doing computer dating. 40 years ago you would walk up to a member of the opposite sex, strike up a conversation, if there was a chemistry of sorts you dated, if not you moved on to the next. Today you spend weeks months infron of a computer chatting with an unseen face not really learning anything cuz it's so easy to lie and say anything over the "Net".

What's wrong with people today are they that insecure about themselves?


skye2day profile image

skye2day 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

Brother Too funny. I do love your humor. I am grateful you were not suckered for the bucks more then you already put out. I think we should give you a new pen name. Mr Cupid JK. I love ya and I believe God has that woman for you. He will surprise you when it is in HIS time. He knows your hearts desire. He put it there. He is

in charge and He will watch for HIS children. Thank God. Sometimes we do put ourselves in the position to be hurt or scammed. I know something like this happened to me online. It was not dating rather a woman loved my writing and was dying so her 'attorneys' contacted me saying I was led to her. I was to receive her money because I would help the needy and poor. They came close to getting me. They needed $1000 bucks or so to get the paperwork done. Yeah then they went down to $500. I really thought God was Blessing me all through this. HOLY Bullets. The liar and thief were on me to rob and steal. These crooks were so convincing I almost had my husband to believe we were going to be mega millionaires.

It is important for me to stay in the WORD. The situation distracted me from Gods work. I was excited like wow this woman wants me to help others with her fortune. Yeah Yeah The attorneys kept at me for a while and then faded off because I said you pay and I will then give you $50,000 for your time.

God works different. Since this time I have got to know His character more. Sure someone could leave me a fortune to help in Gods Kingdom but when one needs money for paperwork and I am going to be a wealthy woman yeah sure. I was humble pie. I asked forgiveness. I moved on. I got a few more similar emails for months on end. I deleted them as scams and did not open at all. SO today they are all gone. The devil is tricky.

Hey cupid maybe FYI because I just love ya church would have a sweet heart just for you. Maybe God has the most gorgeous in your eyes only, a heartfelt woman of God for knight heart at church. Another one I heard of for fun. This is true. A woman friend of mine hung out at the fruit and veg. in the store. Looking good too. Not like some housewife person type, you get my drift. She was searching for the right guy buying health food. She got a few numbers and they turned to be duds. We laughed at her craziness. I have not talked to her in a very long time. I wonder if she met her match. I will get in touch with her. Meet the match made in Heaven and You will know, You will know. God is full of surprises and has a humor but you will know when He sends your lady. Great hub.

I believe many may get a clue and stay Leary. The INTERNET is kinda like Vegas. A gamble. There is a bit of good and allot more evil in every corner of the world. I am your sister in Christ and you my brother crack me up. I could squeeze your tender heart. You keep on in CHRIST JESUS He is your calling. You know how to write. You have been Blessed. FYI I know of a few online that have met per hub pages. Be alert.

That is my story and I am sticking to it. HUGS Galore Mr cupid Ooops Knight heart. Up and awesome. I love you in Christ bro. ( - ; ( - ;


Knightheart profile image

Knightheart 5 years ago from MIssouri, USA Author

Dave: Hey bro! I really don't know what to think about all this computer anonymity. Yes, it is safer to meet people, but when and if you do meet, it is far more dangerous. I think this online thing is really not a wise thing...too many people out there just waiting to get in with you and then just cheat you. The old fashioned way is better...you actually know the person in some fashion, and if there isn't that chemistry, yep, you move on. Think I am going back to the method that is proven to work..Computer dating has only been around maybe 15 years, while the traditional ways are centuries old. Thanks for stopping by, my friend!


Knightheart profile image

Knightheart 5 years ago from MIssouri, USA Author

Hey Skye...I knew my sis would be here sooner or later. I must tell you that you have been a great help these last couple of weeks and have eased some of the pain I have endured. Thanks for the PM. You are awesome! I do believe this online stuff is just the devil's playground the more I learn about it. Unbelievable what goes on in these sites...like selling sex, pretty much like a cathouse in cyberspace. Disgusting.

Mr Cupid....hmmm...LOL Nah, I think they should call me the Cupidinator. I hunt those little fairies with the bows and clobber them with the business end of my foot! ROFLOL

I know what you mean about these criminals. They are very good and are so convincing. They use guilt as a weapon to get people to feel sorry for them, and then WHAM, they nail you good. God's Holy Spirit, warned me and am glad I heard it. 4 times it happened in just 2 weeks. I am glad you didn't get taken in by these devil spawned people. I just am encouraged that when they face God at the Judgment, they will regret what they have done.

My church is very small...no woman my age that are unmarried...lots of younger college age girls, and those that are in their 70's. So, church doesn't have anyone. I am just going to leave it in God's hands. The Apostle Paul talked about this topic of not being married, etc. Need to read those Scriptures again.

I am glad you had a chuckle or two. That means a lot to me. I love you too sis, and wish I could hug you for real. Loneliness is a terrible thing and can lead you into all kinds of trouble. Satan sure knows how to take advantage of this strong desire to be with someone.

I think they should call the world wide web, the World Wide Snare!

LOL> You are awesome and even when I am feeling low you can make me laugh. Love you bunches. Mr. Cupidinator


Naomi's Banner profile image

Naomi's Banner 5 years ago from United States

Knightheart it looks like you have had a difficult time of it on the internet. This is great that you put yourself out there to help others from the same thing happening to them. I have heard of wonderful relationships developing from on line relationships however the ones that have seen the most successful were localized to where you live. The other thing that can be dangerous is when you give out too much information you open yourself up for a stalker. These relationships can become very dangerous.


Knightheart profile image

Knightheart 5 years ago from MIssouri, USA Author

Naomi: Thanks for stopping by, my friend. You do have to be VERY careful since the scammers are not just your everyday criminal...some are very clever and sneaky. They like to prey on vulnerable people, like lonely men and women and some are just taken in by these smooth talking vermin! I have found a very sweet woman and we both are growing fond of each other. We haven't met yet, some issues to get settled, but have a good feeling. Hopefully when we do meet, we will click. That will be the major test for a beginning relationship. If we clear that hurdle, then we will work to build a STRONG foundation and hope it will be a long, satisfying relationship. I keep my eyes open anytime I am on the internet. Thanks so much for you comments and take care. KH


Wealthmadehealthy profile image

Wealthmadehealthy 5 years ago from Somewhere in the Lone Star State

LOL sounds like the nigerians on craigs list....Ah, but there are some people you meet and chat with on Skype who turn out to be long time buddies.....not all women are out to scam men...only some. I have learned to ask first "where do you live" and "what do you do for a living" If those answers are insufficient to me, I would discontinue communication....only my thoughts, but probably some good advice.


Knightheart profile image

Knightheart 5 years ago from MIssouri, USA Author

Hiya WMH! This Ghana/Nigeria scam is very well known and am surprised a lot of this hasn't been stopped by the authorities...guess it has to do with international law. It really is a shame that the honest people that really use the dating sites as they should be used, are the ones getting cheated. Thanks for stopping by and good luck in Texas. I would have loved to have met you one time since we did live in the same time. You are the one that got me started here on the Hub. Oh well, we will meet someday, most likely in Heaven...I am going to have a long wait if I am behind you at the Judgment Seat of Christ! Your rewards are going to be awesome, so I better bring a comfy chair while I wait. LOL


Angel 4 years ago

What you wrote is so true I to have been scammed buy these heartless people. You try to find someone to love for the rest of your life and people like just want to take advantage of you. One thing I have learned is what to look for and know a scammer when I see one (they are not always the smartest duck in the pond). I know true love is out there for those of use who truly want it and I wish everyone the best and safe searching. Just be careful


Knightheart profile image

Knightheart 4 years ago from MIssouri, USA Author

Hello Angel. I see you found my little secret hideout and had a feeling this article would be one of the first you read. How did I know that? LOL Anyway, I thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment. It is sad that people prey and try to take advantage of people, especially when most seeking someone to love and be loved have already been through the fire...who needs more pain and suffering on top of it all. Those who prey on people that are lonely are just plain scum...actually lower than scum. I am glad you were able to discover these low life people! I too, have found an almost perfect way to uncover them...it hasn't failed yet and will rely on it from now on. Just because we are looking for someone and may not be at our best, doesn't mean we are stupid. In fact, I found the most clever and observant people are ones that have gone through the pain and suffering love or seeking love can cause. Take care and be safe.

KH


AmandaJon profile image

AmandaJon 3 years ago

Hi, nice hub, good reviews. Playing with people's feelings is disgusting, those scammers are heartless people, be careful.


Knightheart profile image

Knightheart 3 years ago from MIssouri, USA Author

Hello AmandaJon...thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment...I sure do appreciate that!! Yes, you are so right...and I and thousands of others have been victims or potential victims, in what I believe, is a from of abuse. Mind games, messing with people's feelings and causing hurt and pain is just evil. And then the scammers go further pain and suffering, causing even more destruction; stealing your assets, and such. You can't be too careful, especially with the Internet and dating. Be well and thanks again!

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