People Who Will Never Want To Date Again (Or At Least Not For Awhile)
There is a segment of the population who has completely given up on dating and is happier for it. Sometimes this only a temporary measure for a few weeks, or sometimes this is an indefinite amount of time that could last for months or years. Nevertheless, many singles are happy being single and consider a dating hiatus to be a wonderful respite. It is not that these singles have not tried, but dating has not met their needs for one reason or another. Some people choose not to date because relationships are not their thing, others have given up on dating because the long ritual of going on first dates is exhausting and tiring. For those who want to be in a relationship and eventually marriage, the casual dating scene of today is often discouraging, and there is very little desire to keep going on first dates. Sometimes people reach a point where they really just want nothing more to do with dating and have given up completely. There is nothing wrong with this and it is perfectly normal to just want to be alone. Solititude is a hard to come by commodity is this fast paced world of ours, so giving up on dating indefinitely surely has a few perks.
Perk #1: Less Arguing
Relationships are all about compromise, which means one partner will always have to concede something to make the other happy. In a relationship both partners are not always equal, and the most assertive person often gets their way more often than the more passive partner. If you just listen to people argue most arguments are about one person feeling their needs are not being fulfilled because the other person gets "their way" too much. Some relationships are better than others, but for people who tend to be more passive a dating dry spell can actually be a consolation. Coming home and knowing you can pick which show to watch because you boyfriend/girlfriend will not be vying for the remote. Knowing you can make whatever you like for dinner without having to worry about your boyfriend's peanut allergy. At times being single indefinitely can have its perks.
Perk #2: The Introverts Retreat
A dating dry spell can also be of benefit to a person that tends to be somewhat of an introvert and needs a retreat from the outside world at the end of the day. If your ex tended to be a social butterfly and always wanted to go out, then perhaps when you are single again staying in sounds like heaven.
Perk #3: Freedom From Jealousy
People who have just got out of a relationship with a controlling/jealous ex often want a little bit of space. Being single gives a person the time to think about what they want out of life, and often that means avoiding the dating scene. There is nothing wrong with dating, but there are some times in your life when you would rather just come home to the couch than go out to a club. For those who want to continue dating being single will give them a chance to meet a variety of people and keep their options open. Casual dating is often a good fit for those who want a little bit of space and want to keep their options open.
Perk #4: Freedom To Do My Own Thing
In a marriage or a steady relationship there often shared responsibilities with your partner, such as: taking turn making dinner, doing chores, spending time with your partner's family/friends, and the list can go on and become a source of many arguments. However, when you are single there are no "must do with my boyfriend/girlfriend," thus giving you the luxury of being able to make your own schedule. One friend actually broke up with her husband because he expected her to attend numerous family functions, which was beginning to encroach upon the time she spent with her own family/friends. Although this is not the solution for most people, the strain of meeting a list of mutual obligations can prompt many people to take it solo for awhile. Sometimes us singles just want to go home and make a salad and pie and we do not want to worry about making a five course dinner for your mother. This may sound selfish and unfair to your partner, but there are just times in a person's life when they would rather be single than cater to the needs of many others. You can only serve others well once your own personal needs are met, so be very cautious of doing something for your partner that you would not want to keep up over the long term. If you think it would be sweet to do your partner's laundry, but then begin to resent this, maybe it would be better not start doing this in the first place. Often couples can avoid a complete split by setting boundaries that respect personal free time.
As always being single or being in a relationship is always a personal choice, so take the time to do what is right for you. Do not rush into a relationship out of fear your crush will not be around later because if it was meant to be it will happen in the future.
Update: They Never Really Liked Me That Much Anyway!
The parents of an ex asked a relative how I was doing the other day, but I could not help to think: why do they care! As far as I can tell none of the men I ever dated me ever truly really liked me that much anyway, so why do they or their family pretend to be interested in how I am doing today. I think they were just looking for something gossipy to talk about, and that is about it.
It does not hurt me at all to declare all these years later that no one I ever dated ever really liked me that much anyway because it is true. I knew it at the time when I was going through my desperate "I hope he likes me phase," but years out of the dating scene I just find the whole show a bit ridiculous. If I could go back in time I would have told my younger self to never date and just read, write, draw, paint, craft and go on nature walks. I am looking forward to the rest of my single life because I no longer have to pretend that men I date truly like me. I was just the one they want to distract themselves with at the moment.
More by this Author
Why does my friend make me feel inferior.
How to get over a breakup.
- 37It Is Perfectly Okay To Walk Away From "A Break" Without Any Regrets: Why Ending The Relationship Is Best
Do you really want to spend time trying to figure out what your significant other is "thinking" about the relationship? It is better to have the expectation that in the beginning both of you will talk things...