Poison On Your Lips

I cried today . . .

Do you think you can jerk me around like a yo-yo, or a fancy watch fob that you take out and twirl in the air? You amuse yourself with the sparkle as it catches the light on its way around, up and down. Then you put it away when you're tired of the momentary distraction. A very minor thing in your life, and one that is there purely for your own entertainment. That's what I am to you.

You want me, you don't. You want me, you don't have time. You have "things" to do. You waste your chances with me like they are endless, and I know you believe they are endless. You do this to me and I don't even recognize the reflection staring back at me from a mirror. Reflection ~ an interesting word. Reflections bounce back light, but my light is so dull now. My light is become darkness, and you led me here. You knew it, and you did it anyway. Because it's about you. I'm just the thing that brings some excitement into your life.

You cannot see what is standing in front of you. You cannot see me. You make me not care about love anymore. My heart is so numbed, no one would want that. I am tired of twisting myself into something I believe to be desireable. Screw you. I was always desireable. I have turned away love to be loyal to you. And you don't even have time for me. Make plans, break plans. So what. It's just an ordinary day to you.

How is it possible to love you and hate you at the same time? I can't even look at you right now. I don't want to hear your voice. I don't want any part of you creeping into me. You're out of bounds. Go away. At least give me a chance to try and make my own peace. This loss I feel is tragic. It has no significance to you. There is poison on your lips, and so your kisses are toxic. That should tell me all I need to know.


© 2013 Bella Nina

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Comments 7 comments

mackyi profile image

mackyi 3 years ago from Philadelphia

Nicely done. A very expressive hub, but somewhat like a pyrrhic battle!


Bella Nina profile image

Bella Nina 3 years ago from USA Author

Thank you. You have no idea how right your assessment is. The process of loving can come at an unimaginable cost. I suppose if I was wiser, I'd know when the cost is too high. And I wish being with the one you love was a simple thing. In my case, that has not been the case. Thank you so much for taking your time to read my work.


Theater girl profile image

Theater girl 3 years ago from New Jersey

Brave and beautiful! And there is a thin line between love and hate.

Blessings and strength to you on your journey.


Bella Nina profile image

Bella Nina 3 years ago from USA Author

Thank you very much Theater girl. It is indeed ~ a very thin line. We cross over it, back and forth, sometimes hardly noticing the distance we have travelled.


Theater girl profile image

Theater girl 3 years ago from New Jersey

Well said!


Vacation Trip profile image

Vacation Trip 3 years ago from India

Very heart touching hub. One needs to be brave to even feel this. Prays and blessings for you. Thank you for sharing. Voted up.


Bella Nina profile image

Bella Nina 3 years ago from USA Author

Thank you Vacation Trip. Your kind words are comforting to me. I appreciate you reading my work.

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