Pornography Can Sneak into Your Home

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Sanctity of the home

Home was once a safe haven from the troubles and evil of the world. Families gathered in prayer circles to give gratitude and ask for protection and blessings from above. Children respected their fathers and mothers who were good examples, and went to them for counsel and advice. When the door was locked at night, bad influences were kept out and the family was safe. When did it all change?

Dr. Mary Anne Layden, co-director of the Sexual Trauma and Psychopathology Program at the University of Pennsylvania's Center for Cognitive Therapy- "Porn is the most concerning thing to psychological health that I know of existing today. The internet is a perfect drug delivery system because you are anonymous, aroused and have role models for these behaviors. To have drug pumped into your house 24/7, free, and children know how to use it better than grown-ups know how to use it -- it's a perfect delivery system if we want to have a whole generation of young addicts who will never have the drug out of their mind."

https://www.shelleylubben.com/anti-porn-quotes

As a young girl (around ten), I started babysitting for a neighbor. I enjoyed earning extra money and helping out where I could. I usually pick up after the baby is asleep, clean the kitchen and try not to spend too much time on the television. This family was very nice to me and kept asking me to return. While tidying up one night, I came upon some books that shocked me as well as perked my curiosity. They were obviously adult magazines with scantily dressed women and men. There were piles of them, not hidden away, but quite accessible. This was the start of a long struggle for me with pornography. I tried to take my own homework and books to read, but because I had become quickly addicted to the magazines, I would eventually return to them before the evening was finished.

I learned way more from those adult magazines than a little ten-year-old should know. In the fifth grade, we had that moment set apart where they taught us about the main differences between men and women. The girls were escorted to one end of the school and the boys to the separate end. Afterwards as we ended up passing each other in the hall before going home, filled with new information, I remember one boy in my class excited to tell me that he learned that as a girl, I would start laying eggs each month. I was pretty embarrassed, but that together with my over exposure to pictures of men and women involved in pornographic sexual acts was my education about sex.

As I developed into a woman, I remember television was black and white, then color, then swear words allowed here or there, and finally even the shows on TV started to talk openly about sex. It happened in such a short time. I didn't have a close relationship with my mother and father, enough to tell them about my troubles or concern with some of the things I was seeing and hearing. I started dating at age 13 instead of waiting until sixteen (which was the proper age in our church). I way I dressed was a bit on the margin - showing a bit if cleavage and leg. I was confused with what I saw and what I was being told at church.

I continued to date different boys, becoming very close to them and depending on them for my struggling self esteem. Their attention gave me what I needed. Unfortunately, I thought I was in love and was the first of all my friends to get married at just barely 18. I was so immature, but it was kind of fun playing house and acting like a grown up. We were married in a religious ceremony and found myself the next night going to a strip club. I felt my husband had deceived me and I was disappointed, but still confused. Can we live this way and develop a strong relationship?

One year and nine months later, I discovered that I had been cheated on - that was not supposed to happen to me. My husband had betrayed me in secret, lied and kept acting like he was religious all the while. Broken hearted, I felt that my life had totally fallen apart. He was on drugs and because I worked at a doctor's office, I had easy access to tranquilizers, which began my addiction to prescription drugs. The pain was over the top. There is much more to the story, but just saying that I had to pick myself up and start over again. I realized my early exposure to pornography, going against my standards in my dress and actions had taken me down a path that I didn't want to stay on.

You certainly find out who your friends are when you go through a divorce. My family was obviously embarrassed, more for themselves than for me. We didn't talk about it. Some of my old friends came to my rescue. How did I think I could live a two-faced life - one foot in the ways of the world and the other foot trying to keep a toe or two in the church I had been raised in. I had a decision to make. I made my decision. I would follow Christ's plan and try hard to stay on the right path.

Richard Land - "Hardcore pornography is the greatest danger this country is facing. Pornography is the leading cause of divorce. ... In the next 10 years, we are looking at an avalanche of sex crimes."


https://www.shelleylubben.com/anti-porn-quotes

Repentance and changing your ways is not easy, but at least I had committed myself to it. Pornography had been a big part of my former husband's life, although I was not aware of it until after we were married. Pornography gives very high expectations of sex in marriage. If only that was all you had to worry about, but life happens. Work, family, miscarriages, disappointment. My husband verbally abused me and told me I was not longer pretty and worthy of him. I had been true and faithful to him, all the while he was cheating on me. I dug deep inside to find the strength and faith to go on.

I met men who were willing to treat me as I had been treated before, and became wary of them. I went to counseling groups and attended church. My faith had not been shaken. That is all I had to hang on to. Now forty years later, I share my life with a fine man who is respectful, loving and forgiving. We have a fine family who live the standards of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. As I look back, I believe my downfall began when I was a young ten-year-old when I went babysitting in a home filled with pornography.

Pornography can change a home into a porn palace where the Spirit of God cannot dwell. I know of fine families that have been torn up because of addiction to porn. There is help for this trap.

© 2015 Elayne

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Comments 8 comments

elayne001 profile image

elayne001 9 months ago from Rocky Mountains Author

sorry - I didn't intentionally ignore you. Just trying to keep everything going.


diogenes profile image

diogenes 13 months ago from UK and Mexico

You are ignoring your commentors


Mel Carriere profile image

Mel Carriere 14 months ago from San Diego California

The Internet is certainly a double edged sword. It provides a voice for the common people, but it also drags the common people down into the muck with these various obsessions, of which pornography is just one. Great hub, and I applaud you for speaking out.


diogenes profile image

diogenes 15 months ago from UK and Mexico

Hi Elayne: I wouldn't like to comment on whether the mags. you saw affected you in later life; you seem unsure yourself. Of course, they are pretty mild now when we compare them to the stuff available on the Internet today. "Youporn" doesn't miss much.

We are sexual animals, evolution saw to that in directing us to procreate when and as often as possible.

I guess the advice from me would be nothing new "Moderation in all things" might fit the bill. I mean, all this sick muck with sex with animals and kids should be punished to the extent of the law everywhere (it isn't), But a nicely made erotic film emphasising passion and love rather than dominance and violence...well, I would watch those.

Bob

ps I don't know why my comment goes to the head of this list, unintentional I assure you.


Christy Kirwan profile image

Christy Kirwan 18 months ago from San Francisco

What an incredible story! It sounds like you've had a very hard early life, but I'm glad you were able to find your path.


diogenes profile image

diogenes 18 months ago from UK and Mexico

Interesting story Elaine. We rarely get a take on what women think about pornography; an honest take anyway. I don't think online porn has hurt many adult men and might even give them a necessary outlet which might save some women from rape and unnecessary attention. It is not of much interest to me. Lots of things in the universe deserving of my interest apart from ...parts!

Bob


firstcookbooklady profile image

firstcookbooklady 18 months ago from Minnesota

Sorry for the loss of your childhood. I think that there are many that have gone through the same as you. Until Adam/Eve ate the apple, they were already naked and then 'their eyes were opened'... then, they realized that they needed fig leaves.


Patty Inglish, MS profile image

Patty Inglish, MS 18 months ago from North America

Thank you for sharing your story and how you overcame the effects of pornography intruding into your life. You are clearly a woman who stands by her convictions and an example to others who feel harmed by the ills you describe in your Hub. Voted up and more.

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