RELATIONSHIPS? HOW CAN WE MAKE IT WORK?

YOU'RE BEAUTIFUL

IT ALL STARTS WITH US!

There is no feeling more comforting than knowing you are loved by the one you are next to and you love them as well. True love (for couples) is like a pair of socks. You got to have two and they have to match. Match in which way you say..... Love, respect, commitment, devotion, honor, loyalty, vision, core beliefs, moral values...... you get the picture I'm trying to paint, along those lines (I believe) is what really matters. We're all apart of the human race to learn from one another. Love comes in all shapes and sizes, colors and such and it should otherwise love would be labeled boring... which love clearly is not!

Like a true blue friend or a loving mate for life it's what everyone wants, some more than others and that's why it's so important to make sure the ones we hang around (friends) have the same or very similar core beliefs when it comes to friendships. I believe a life long partner is key to happiness and fulfillment.

I've heard it said, "A friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out". Or for a life long partners, "You complete me" . We can all learn how to really like someone when we find out how to make them laugh, however we can never really love someone until we find out what makes them cry and do our very best not to make them cry.


Relationships are important. Friendships are important. Love and respect are vitally important for a happy and healthy spirit. It's healthy for people to need people. It's quite clear we all have a universal need to belong which is satisfied when intimate relationships are formed, whether for friendships, soul mates, etc. it's not just a want, it's a need. We need certain people for enduring behavioral interdependence, relating with others of like minded are vital for happier healthier life style which require repeated interactions, emotional attachment, need fulfillment, belonging-ness, that connection that brings us together.I don't know about you but I need that.

Relationships can work only when both parties are on the same page (core beliefs). How can the two walk together unless they both agree. An unfaithful partner and a committed partner has no agreement. A lazy partner and a workaholic has no agreement. A person who doesn't love themselves right cannot love another the right way. We have to really believe in ourselves to really show that we believe in another. We have to give more to ourselves and really see our true value in order to unselfishly give to another and really mean it.

For the record I must say this which is needed to be said for those who have been or are in a cheating relationship. If your partner has cheated on you, it is best to forgive them and move on. If they cheated on you once it's very likely they will do it again. Once that trust is broken it will never be the same again. Yes you can heal but it will never be the same with them as it was.

IN SOME RARE CASES THE ONE WHO HAS CHEATED ON YOU CAN BE TRUST WORTHY AGAIN HOWEVER THAT TAKES SERIOUS FORGIVENESS ON THEIR PART AND YOURS AND CONSTANT VERBAL AFFIRMING AND THEIR ACTIONS MUST FOLLOW THEIR WORDS.

This is hard but true and someone who cheats has to learn the consequences of their selfish actions. For the victim, you have to love and respect yourself more than ever and that simply means moving on (UNLESS THEY REALLY ARE SORRY AND CAN AND WILL PROVE TO YOU OTHERWISE). Of course allow some time to go by and heal and then finding someone that is worth your valuable time and space. Cheaters will never HAVE JOY. They will reap what they sow. Every effect has a cause. This is apart of our make up, no matter how many times we may deny it, we will always reap what we sow. When they say Love conquerors all, it's true. Only love can forgive and forget move on and believe in love again. Never let someones insecurities delay your God given right to be loved. Make up your mind you're worth the LOVE you give. We need to let go of those that are hindering our core beliefs and hold on to those that value what really matters. AND JESUS LOVE'S YOU MOE THAN EVERYONE.

AGAIN IN SOME RARE CASES THE ONE WHO HAS CHEATED ON YOU CAN BE TRUST WORTHY AGAIN HOWEVER THAT TAKES SERIOUS FORGIVENESS ON THEIR PART AND YOURS AND CONSTANT VERBAL AFFIRMING AND THEIR ACTIONS MUST FOLLOW THEIR WORDS OTHERWISE MOVE ON!



ONLY THE STRONG SURVIVE!


I believe out of all the creations, God gave us the best. A soul containing our mind, will and emotions. The power of choice is so amazing. We need to ponder on this. Imagine this, if you're in a really good loving relationship, by choice that one you are with chose to be with you over everyone else on the planet. Why? If it's real love, they love and respect you and value your core belief, otherwise they wouldn't be by your side. I really believe marriage is not for everyone. Some want the trophy but don't want to live up to their commitment with the other. For the believer, there is a way to save your marriage and it starts with communicating to God and communicating with your mate the right way. Communication is vitally important for any marriage to work. And at times we have to keep reliving the things that brought you together to keep the romance alive. Verbally, body language, acts of kindness, sex, going the extra miles to make sure they are alright, whispering in her ear, writing her love letters and sending them to her office, sending them home, etc., going out on a date, a gift, flowers, MUST IMPORTANTLY BE SPONTANEOUS and do whatever you used to do. How you first got her interested in you............ you know what I mean.


Getting married is a once in a lifetime decision for some people but not all. Now I for one want marriage. For my loving partner, there has to be a common ground, a place of mutual agreement so that if and when we have an argument (even the most loving couples who love each other unconditionally have disagreements) that our core beliefs are still in harmony and that we still have a foundation of meaning, of purpose worth fighting for. That matters!

We have to make the time for them.

Our work shouldn't be the most important part of our lives, love should be. Not saying we should work less but perhaps work more on what really matters when we come home from work. In some cases yes we should work less but in most cases we should close the door to everything else and focus on who I'm with. What they mean to me, do they know how much they mean to me? If not, start today! I'm serious!

Take the time to say "I LOVE YOU" and or take the time to let your actions say that you do. Even if it's a friendship, be real to them and accept them as they are, praise them, encourage them, yes help them but don't try to fix them. Wanting to fix which means to control someone else doesn't send a good picture to anyone. Offer the help, give from your heart, not for the record, forget the record. Because by only recording it to throw in someone's face what you do and did for them, doesn't show we love them. Be like that NIKE advertisement,

"JUST DO IT"! By giving, one obtains, by giving one acquires, in giving, love becomes the fulfillment that really matters.

IT'S TRUE!


READ TO HER SOME POEMS. HERE'S A FEW OF MINE. READING POEMS TO HER CAN HELP OR AT LEAST POINT YOU IN A BETTER DIRECTION OR PLACE WITH THEM!


IT'S TRUE!


The definition of insanity is to keep doing the same thing over and over again and each time expecting a different result. Change starts with you and I. Don't delay it,


"JUST DO IT"!


They are here in the present, in your present tense, right now and if we plan on saying and doing and not say or do what matters, in the present, we are not helping them or ourselves.


Read this love quote ladies,“Find the one guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the one who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how blessed he is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'”


That's what it's all about and we can't expect (if you're looking for one now) any less than that or we're hurting ourselves in the long run. Not to say you ladies can't inspire a dog to become a gentlemen, (in some rare cases I have heard of that). When it comes to love yes anything is possible however I wouldn't recommend to jump into something that spells doom from the start and expect things to get better. Both parties have to make their intentions as clear as possible.


The problem is at times we have people in our lives that do not share our core beliefs, they do not love and respect us and do their best to bring out the worst in us on purpose and they need help. There are multiple reasons why, mostly immaturity but I won't get into that today. At times we bring this on ourselves when we don't let go of these people and we suffer when we allow them to interrupt our happiness and peace of mind in our lives. We need to seek out the best in life for the best to come our way. The best is basically another who believes in you, loves you, desires you, inspires you and hopes the best for you. Anyone less than that is not the best for you.


A person who doesn't have any jealousy towards you and they want you to reach your peak, even if it means surpassing you. You're life long partner should be your biggest cheer leader. Let's face it, some people come into our lives and quickly go away. Hopefully we learned something from them and we got it and then we keep moving forward. Then there are some who stay long enough to leave an impression on us and leave their so called, "footprints on our hearts" and we're never ever the same. Those are the one we seek and don't want them to leave us. Whether they are friends or more than that, they are needed and wanted in our lives.


One lady wrote this and I respect it, "No man is worth your tears, but once you find one that is, he won't make you cry". Love starts with you. We have to learn how to love ourselves the right way. In all honesty each and everyone of us deserves the best in every aspect of our being.


IT'S TRUE!


I was raised to do unto others as I wanted them to do unto me. However as I got older I really grasped the meaning of loving someone when I was aiding my sick and dying mother. Yeah I wanted to do this and that but to me (since I had great reverence and love for her) my mother was everything to me. She was my friend, my loving supporting mother and much, more. I was fortunate and grateful for that. I learned how to give by seeing her give to me. I learned how to encourage as I remember her encouraging me. I learned how to be patient and realized that nothing else really matters unless we learn how to love, that we give and receive always. By giving we make a way for us to receive.


Everything else is just fluff or additional. The great achievements, the accumulation of items, possessions, the scores of trophies one has obtained, the accomplishments, the one thousand pats on the back, etc. While all of these are important, none of these should be more important than love and respect, supporting one another. To me it's simple. Even though it's easier said then done (I agree) but relationships are really all about honest and loving, respectful communication. Without that, nothing else matters. Love and respect is the foundation, in my book.


I remember telling my mother how I felt about drawing (art was and still is my first love of things I wanted to do in life). I said to her at the tender age of 13 years old, "Mom I would rather draw for someone and make $5 an hour or less than to work doing something else I hate doing and making $100 an hour". Yes back then in the 80's I was very happy with that statement lol but it was a true statement down to the core of my spirit. And even though I was only 13 years old, I voiced my honest loving and respectful opinion and she knew I was telling the truth. She knew I loved creating and I still do to this day in many ways. She didn't try to hinder dreams. And from that moment on my mother would praise me about my art work and tell me I could draw anything create anything and so on. And I did. Fearlessly I did and most cases I wasn't trained to do so but still I did as if I was trained. Meaning I had no instructor to show me how to draw, just the passion within to learn how to. With my mother's added encouragement, I felt as though I could do anything. We should cheer our loved ones on so their faith is strengthened. It will really make the difference.


That was a loving relationship between a mother and her son. Honesty rules. Honesty always will, though she had the last words and rightfully so, she knew better than me however she also listened to my heart and loved and respected my dreams. In any relationship, that's what really matters. Love and respect. With that support, one will see that it really makes the difference and your loved ones will perhaps go further than you have ever thought they could.


Good communication is not just about being able to talk, but being able to listen too. Being a good listener does not just mean waiting for your turn to talk, but really taking in the words your partner is sharing with you. Processing it and respecting their thoughts even if you disagree with them on a point or two. As we receive those words, we should also understand the emotions in those words and the body language that goes along with them. If we do not pay close attention, we might miss the meaning in the words that are being said and the body language that is being presented with them and miss the opportunity to really be one with that person.


Communication is one of the main ingredients to a beautiful and healthy relationship.


Couples breakup, friendships are lost for many reasons and really we all need to re-evaluate what really matters. So many breakup for superficial reasons and not really seeing the core of what really matters in that relationship. In my core belief "God is LOVE", and our primary purpose on earth (to me) is to experience love and duplicate it and see that it grows stronger and stronger from generation to generation. Yes obtaining certain possessions is fun and exciting.Yes ensuring that our children are taken care of financially are important. Yes being able to provide for one's family is very important but not as important than providing our family the fundamental power of love. Go for what you really want, not for what others want for you. Denying your wants, hopes, dreams to please only other peoples hopes and dreams means you are not being honest with yourself and not loving yourself. Of course we must use wisdom and NOT do something foolish. We must open up and let go of negative people and circumstances believing for the best in our lives.


We attract what we really believe. We must not be blinded into thinking that the best person who is for me is what the world has painted for me. You're the artist and you paint your own paintings. Why stay and think inside of the box the rest of your life when we all were given FREE WILL? Freedom is something we all desire and need. Freedom to be ourselves, freedom to explore life and to learn what really matters. In my opinion without love, respect and freedom, nothing else really matters. It's just stuff that's void of what really matters.


Never give up on love. Love will never give up on you. Love is only obtainable to those who really believe they are worth the best, the greatest experience of life and the best experience of life is to be loved and to love. Again we only attract/experience/become one with what we believe in.


TO LOVE AND TO BE LOVED.

It's the most important experience in life, worth fighting for.


NEVER, EVER GIVE UP ON LOVE!

God is Love and Jesus is Lord!





Forgiveness is the KEY!

MARRIAGE CAN WORK!

love is in the air

TRUE BLUE?
TRUE BLUE?
Until the end of time my love...!
Until the end of time my love...!

RELATIONSHIP WITH JESUS

MAKE THE BEST RELATIONSHIP START NOW WITH JESUS

More by this Author


Comments 9 comments

Justine76 6 years ago

find the one guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot, who calls you back when you hang up on him, who will lie under the stars and listen to your heartbeat, or will stay awake just to watch you sleep... wait for the boy who kisses your forehead, who wants to show you off to the world when you are in sweats, who holds your hand in front of his friends, who thinks you're just as pretty without makeup on. One who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares and how lucky his is to have you.... The one who turns to his friends and says, 'that's her.'

I am going to save this to show my kids when they are big. Ive not seen it better said. Great job.


thevoice profile image

thevoice 6 years ago from carthage ill

great reading thanks


darrylcrawford profile image

darrylcrawford 6 years ago from Philadelphia PA to Tucson AZ. Author

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

I felt the need to write this and remember certain people's love quotes that would inspire others to not to give up on the very thing that matters the most.

check out this poem I wrote years ago titled Alpha Rhythm.

Alpha Rhythm:

As the two become one

Together counting every season

In a give and take relation

Living life to the maximum

Like dedicated musicians

We rehearse every session

With only one intention

To behold every reason

Love is the highest invitation

Much stronger than emotion

Much deeper than thee ocean

Nothing can top love's expression


Missi Darnell profile image

Missi Darnell 6 years ago from Southern California

Beautiful and so right. I loved this darryl. Great hub.


darrylcrawford profile image

darrylcrawford 6 years ago from Philadelphia PA to Tucson AZ. Author

Thanks Missi Darnell. I'm glad you loved it. Be Blessed.


EverettW profile image

EverettW 5 years ago

Love the zamzuu shout out. Check out my hubs if you got time

Everett Winchester

www.startmybiz.info


Diana Mendes profile image

Diana Mendes 5 years ago

Great hub darrylcrawford. So true & meaningful. I enjoy reading your hubs.


ajay 4 years ago

we apply on diyana cor companye


darrylcrawford profile image

darrylcrawford 4 years ago from Philadelphia PA to Tucson AZ. Author

Thank you Diana Mendes I really do appreciate your feed back.

To "ajay" I don't quite understand your comment but thank you anyway for taking the to read this hub. I really appreciate it. :)

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