Factors that Often Lead to Divorce

Young Couples arguing --Young Couples Are More Likely To Divorce
Young Couples arguing --Young Couples Are More Likely To Divorce

Before we attempt to discuss the reasons for divorce, let's first look at a few statistics on divorce. Based on the National Vital Statistics System, in 2010, the state of Nevada had a divorce rate of 5.9(per 1,000 people of the total population in that area at that time), the highest in the nation, followed by the state of Arkansas with a rate of 5.7. Though Arkansas' rate of divorce remains the same since 2009, Nevada had experienced a reduction in the state's divorce rate from 6.6 the previous year, to 5.9 in 2010. The state of Oklahoma for example, with the third highest rate of divorce, underwent a rise in divorce rate from 4.8 in 2009, to 5.2 in 2010.

Several researches on the subject of divorce, discovered that the breakdown of a marriage is rarely a sudden event. When it comes to the reasons for divorce, it has been revealed that in most cases, it is the culmination of a long process of emotional separation or dissatisfaction and growing independence. The final months of marriage are usually remembered as unhappy. However, the final decision to divorce is usually made by one, not both partners. It is believed that the wife usually raises the issue first. Although women may not make the final decision, they were found to be more dissatisfied with marriage much sooner than men.

It's also believed that for every three marriages that succeeded, two are expected to fail. Another interesting finding is that, failures usually occur at some point within the first 7 years of marriage, with divorcing couples having a median marriage duration of 7.2 years.

Interestingly, although divorce occurs to adults of every age, they are more likely in young adulthood than in middle age. In middle adulthood, couples get divorced for many reasons, similar to those of younger couples -- they require more from their marriages than they currently are getting. In these cases, divorce is usually the preferred choice over living in an unhappy relationship filled with frustration and conflict.

In addition, if the marriage is already fragile, the empty nest(period in the family life cycle that occurs after the last child left home), may create a personal or marriage crisis. Couples have come to the realization that it's no longer necessary to stay together for the sake of the children, and they may wonder if they want to spend the rest of their lives together. It has been said that it's in the context of continuity and change during the middle years(mid-life crisis), that reflections and reassessments often lead to divorce. Usually, the reflections and reassessments take place within the context of two interconnection worlds -- their personal world and family world, according to some authors.

Some writers on this subject, believe that divorce is also often associated with misconceptions about marriage. The following are some common misconceptions they believe have often played a role in divorce.

  • Because we are no longer in love, nothing can work out between us anymore.
  • Always first consider oneself.
  • Emphasize the negative and criticize everything.
  • See oneself as an individual first and then as part of a couple.
  • What's yours is mine.
  • Divorce makes people happy.
  • What is best for us must be devastating for the children.

These above myths are said to be popularly held and receive considerable support from the mainstream society. Churches, divorce lawyers, marriage counselors, the popular media, family, and friends for example, all believe in them. However, many psychologists believe that "personal myths" do more than reveal how a person views his/her past; they also act somewhat as a sort of script that determines how the person is likely to act in the future. It has been said that Individuals act in concert with the prescription they tell themselves. However, people who look to unrealistic expectations often set the stage for marriage failure.

Conclusion

To summarize, based on all the above reasoning, including findings, it can be concluded that the reasons for divorce is the culmination of a long process of emotional separation or dissatisfaction and growing independence. Several myths or misconceptions about marriage also play a major role.

More by this Author


Comments 11 comments

ib radmasters profile image

ib radmasters 4 years ago from Southern California

The reason for divorce is marriage.

The problem starts with the vague marriage contract which basically doesn't include any details to judge the performance or breaches of that contract.

Since 1970 when no fault divorce legislation swept the county, it made divorce an easy out. There was no reason for the couple to try to save the marriage. Before no fault divorce the grounds for divorce was really death and insanity, and adultery.

First of all I don't believe in using percentages in these matters. There are moving factors in deriving percentages that are hidden when you use just a percentage.

The addition of gay marriages is not going to lower the divorce rate.

The solution is to go back to the marriage contract which is mostly implied, and make it explicit. By making it explicit is becomes a real contract and breaches of it have already list the remedy. This would make divorce a simple contract dispute, rather than an implied legal contract in a non existent court of Equity.

Marriage Contracts would then be the document that ties the couple into a marriage. This would also remove the questionable status of a married couple. There would be no need to make any distinctions between marriages and civil unions, as they would all be civil unions. Each contract could be different to accommodate different situations. There would be a common provision to provide for children, as well as the spouse, and the property.

My point is that divorce of an implied marriage contract tied to a easy out of marriage divorce has been the biggest reason why divorces have increased since 1970. It becomes more like dating or living together than the bonds of matrimony.


mackyi profile image

mackyi 4 years ago from Philadelphia Author

You have raised several interesting points here which I can't dispute. However, I still feel that you, myself and others should be able to get out of a marriage easily, if we are hurting. Let's be fair, no one should be tied down to anyone who no longer needs them.


ib radmasters profile image

ib radmasters 4 years ago from Southern California

mackyl

A formal marriage contract would spell out the exit process. If you want something where you can get out easily then I suspect you shouldn't have chosen marriage in the first place.

That is the problem with marriage today, it isn't a lifelong thing anymore. So lets dispense with marriage altogether.

Thanks


mackyi profile image

mackyi 4 years ago from Philadelphia Author

It was approximately 3:00a.m, July 12,2009, when the Sonja arrived at her girlfriend's house to find her lying in a pool of blood with a single gunshot wound to the head. Sonja had gone to talk to Karen for the 3rd time within a month about leaving Joe - her husband, who kept repeating the usual cycles of violence. As the tears rolled down her eyes, she screamed" Why, Why, I wished she had left the first time he knocked out out unconsciously and left her to die......."

No one should have to go through this!I don't really believe in divorce over reconciliation. However, when it gets to the point where one of the partners refuses to stop the abuse,or reconcile any differences,it's time for the mistreated one to leave for his/her own safety or peace of mind.


ib radmasters profile image

ib radmasters 4 years ago from Southern California

mackyi

As unfortunate as that scenario was, it is not limited to marriage. This could have just as well happened without marriage where two people live together.

It is a real bad situation and a real bad result but I don't think that the law can protect anyone from this kind of situation.

Sorry


mackyi profile image

mackyi 4 years ago from Philadelphia Author

The take home point is...whether common law or a marriage relationship, you have to try to protect yourself, because like you have said "I don't think the law can protect anyone from this situation". just keep it moving or let he/she go for your own safety or peace of mind, because you might ended up hurting the person just trying to defend yourself!God will help you to pull through by yourself! Who knows, he might even send you someone better!


ib radmasters profile image

ib radmasters 4 years ago from Southern California

mackyi

It could work.


mackyi profile image

mackyi 4 years ago from Philadelphia Author

Nice having this conversation with you. Take care now!


Phoebe Pike 4 years ago

The simple fact is, divorce is never the same for each couple. They put the couples into "Check this box please" with generic responses, so often they have to select whatever is closest to their own case. Then these generic check-off answers are put into percentages and we have that to look at... it's not fair and it doesn't show the real situations. Sometimes couples just feel like they should not be together anymore, but they are required to select a reason and even if they are perfectly happy being friends, they have to say their marriages were unhappy.

Too many "Yes or No" questions and no time to elaborate. That's the problem with the statistics.


mackyi profile image

mackyi 4 years ago from Philadelphia Author

One thing I can agree with you here, is that the circumstances that usually lead to divorce varies. However, the main point I am trying to drive home is that the decision to file for divorce is not a sudden one. Such decision is also a result of some dissatisfaction, loss of interest,disagreement or hurt that is unable to fix. Thanks for your comments.


mackyi 3 years ago

Thanks for stopping by subirkrdatta and thanks for your comment. I will take a look at this link to your hub.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working