Reasons Why Divorce is Becoming Rampant

Marriage

Marriage is a sensitive issue that directly touches upon the fabric of mankind’s existence. Touch it and mankind is doomed. We are a by product of a peaceful and rewarding marriage between our parents. It is rather sad to observe how weddings fall short of their expected duration contrary to the resounding vow on the altar “till death do us part”. Barely have these words been pronounced than the couple is seen rushing to advocates to conclude their fate.

What is it that causes such terminal behavior to an otherwise worthy cause?

Is it proof of lack of appreciation towards our parents’ weddings, or is it selfishness on our parts as we fight for personal space that we've so gotten used to prior to our wedding vows?

A marriage hardly lasts beyond the honeymoon when a couple discovers their discordance early enough. Where shall we get that man or woman of character, who is reliable enough to live through to the conclusion of their vows where all others have failed?

Selecting your spouse - How do men choose their fiancées?

Traditional practices dictated that, for every man, a good wife had to be a good cook or woman who exhibited a mother’s traits by ensuring everything was done at the right time with regard to meals and chores, while putting up a pleasant social front to prop up the family’s image.

Modern options in men are often geared towards looks, attraction, social appeal, beauty, personal gain, to conquer in order to get that which is beyond reach, to acquire that which they do not have such as an object of desire, or simply taking the lady to bed to exhibit their masculine prowess. Many men even look towards the financial gain in the offing if they marry into a particular family.

Selecting your spouse-How do women choose their fiances?

Traditional options led women to marry mainly for physical and social security, not to mention the self-actualization that comes with proving you are indeed a woman. Parents and male siblings would gladly push a lady on to early marriage just to get rid of her from their father’s homestead, as society commanded that women ought to be married.

Modern trends among women gravitate upon material possession which includes the amount of money involved, how many assets there are in the new family, how much fame will be gained after the ceremony, popularity and esteem to be acquired in the new family. In other words, success is the name of the game. There is a need to marry into something or simply maintain the status quo with regard to possessions. The creamy word is greed.

A good number still marry for love. Inability to juggle between one’s career and married life can also take its toll from a fine marriage especially when one leans more towards their career.

Practices that bring lasting solutions

God ensures circumstances lead you to the right spouse. It is we who miss out on the opportunity and thereby end up with the wrong partner. The main problem lies in our seeking after the wrong people coupled with our search for the wrong symptoms. Your spouse might not look exactly what you have in mind, but their heart has been prepared just for you. How often have we heard the statement “Shove off, you are not in my league”, only to see the poor guy sulking as he moves away.

Many marriages fail as a result of world values that have been forced down our throats by both digital and print media which create pictures that epitomize the type of man or woman we ought to have by our sides. Character, a most essential ingredient, is hardly an issue here. A lot of stereo-typing has somehow aligned young minds to the figure 8 kind of a female partner. Few care about the man’s looks. Not everybody ends up as a figure 8, though many aspire towards it as evidenced by beauty pageants, dietary practices, fashion modeling and social talk.

Note that a man who marries you for your figure 8 stands to shun you when pregnancy comes by. He will go looking for the figure he is missing in you during the nine months pregnancy.

No wonder many a lady will strive to maintain that desirable figure 8 look until they get their husband, and thereafter, hog everything they find on the table to compensate for the days they starved as they pursued after him, only to end up looking like Humpty Dumpty. Many a man will start wondering whether they made a mistake when committing themselves to marriage in the first place. The difference here is that, no real man will cease to appreciate you in your pregnancy. After all, he contributed to your chubby looks. Many might even foolishly seek a divorce during their wife’s pregnancy especially when women become naturally a bit temperamental despite being the cause of her condition.

When disconnects appear it’s time to jump ship

Many people put on fake appearances prior to making their catch. Ladies will dress in their best attire while men will put on their disarming smiles. We always put our best foot forward in order to impress the other party especially during courtship. The act resembles placing bait before fish to ensnare it.

Disconnects will somehow show up sooner or later no matter how much you try to cover them up. Such disconnects might show up in social behavior, attitude, business, cookery, dressing, sleep, eating manners, family relations and talk.

Barely have you settled in marriage than you realize the mistake you made in choosing that slim lady without considering her heart, or that well-built smiling gentleman who barely has love for you in their heart. What allure leads you to the man or woman? A majority of people will judge you by the cloths you wear. A neatly dressed man or woman gets fairer treatment compared to shabbily dressed individuals. Favors automatically follow, not to mention marriage proposals thereafter.

A man who marries you as an object of desire, due to your wealth, body shape, attire and other attributes, will not love you “till death do us part”.

Some men will even avoid a woman during pregnancies when her shape gets distorted. He will even take liberties to pursue after unmarried ladies who still shuttle their figure 8s which happen to be some men’s objects of desire.

Does she complain about your snoring or petty issues? Is she comparing you with other men? Do you ever wish she was more like your mother in all aspects? Man you just got the wrong number. But kindly remember God hates divorce. Once in it, stay put, and make the most out of it.

Divorce

Divorce followed by re-marriage defiles the next couple because God hates divorce. What God joins no man tears apart. When a man divorces a woman and the two seek out partners that fall out of their circle, it does not matter whether they were meant for each other or not. Both parties go out and defile whoever they team up with. The new marriage, business, association, partnership or relationship will also seek to eject you due to discordance. Many concordant couples experience marital bliss in all ventures.

Do not choose your spouse with your eyes only. Physical appraisal should be guided by the heart. Who is this that you want to marry? What is their character? What do they value most? Does your spirit connect with him or her? Are you compatible in all ways?

Men should love their wives. Love is of the heart and not physique. He who finds a wife finds a good thing. Nothing can go wrong between you and the wife God ordained for you as a life partner. Try to involve God before you leap to avoid regret. We might like what we see, but we can only love what we have experienced.

When you finally decide to marry, please marry a man or woman of character that God has chosen for you.

More by this Author


Comments 6 comments

Express10 profile image

Express10 3 years ago from East Coast

Disconnects truly do speak volumes and many people choose to ignore them rather than do the work it takes to either resolve issues or move on if the disconnects became visible prior to actually getting married. Divorce rates are high in the US and it doesn't appear that these rates will be receding anytime soon. Marriage is hard work that takes effort from two people, this is why it's so important for people to take a variety of thorough examinations at the total person they are getting involved with prior to marrying them. These are useful and interesting reminders to put in the effort to be happy for years to come.


Anjili profile image

Anjili 3 years ago from planet earth, a humanoid Author

Hi teaches12345,

Thanks for your compliment and taking time to peruse through the article. Societies need to do something towards reducing the attrition rates in the institution of marriage. It safeguards our offspring's future.


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 3 years ago

I pushed all all the buttons on this one, Anjili! It is so much the statement of truth young people (and old) need to hear on nurturing a relationship. Blessings.


Anjili profile image

Anjili 3 years ago from planet earth, a humanoid Author

Thanks carol7777 for the compliment. It seems like people are not ready for the commitment involved in marriage. Responsibility can be a hard call. Thanks for passing by.


carol7777 profile image

carol7777 3 years ago from Arizona

I think people want to get married but often do not want to stay married. marriage is about life...laundry, cleaning, paying bills etc...The romantic notions in the beginning can easily fade. Good hub.


Rock_nj profile image

Rock_nj 3 years ago from New Jersey

That's good advice regarding finding a suitable person to marry, but I'm not sure if divorce is becoming rampant (meaning it is becoming more common), at least in the U.S. The divorce rate in the U.S. has been around 50% for a long time. If anything, it has shown signs of falling a bit in recent years, due in part because people are more careful about who they choose to marry (as you suggest) and are trying learn from mistakes made by their parents and others in previous generations. Another factor in the slight decline in divorce rates in the U.S. is the economic codependency that many married couples have; it's just not as easy financially to divorce these days as it was in past decades.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working