Relationship Advice, Being Single: How To Fight When You're Alone

So you're single. In between loves. Taking some you time. That's great, and it's commendable too. But sometimes, being on one's own can be a very lonely experience. Sometimes you need to find things to do to get you out of your shell when you're feeling down. When you're in a relationship you can simply start a fight with your significant other about crumbs in the toaster in order to feel a sense of connection, but being single means that you have to go out of your way to find that frisson of tension that typifies human relationships. Here are a few excellent suggestions (if I do say so myself) for spicing up your life.

Go To The Movies

Buy popcorn and candy. Sit up the back and throw it during the movie. There's nobody else to embarrass there, so you can really let loose. If the usher catches you at it, giggle wildly and run away. There's nothing quite so invigorating as annoying a low level authority figure.

Talk To Strangers

Depending on the country you live in, your advances may be met with a friendly smile, a bracing mist of mace, or perhaps even a restraining order.

Make 'Friends' On line

On line friends are great fun. The greatest thing about on line friends is that you never really know who they are. At any point in time you can annoy them by accusing them of being the opposite gender from the one they claim to be. For your reference, "Ur rly a man" is the Internet equivalent of having a very severe case of cooties.

Play With A Scammer

Online scammers have become the bane of the Internet, but when you're lonely, any port in a storm will do. Engage them in long conversations about the state of your garden, or the way young people just aren't what they used to be. When their story of terrible plight and the inevitable request for money comes, turn the tables by claiming to be lost somewhere in the Congo. Just like that, you and they are in the same boat! Suggest that you meet up somewhere in Nigeria for a coffee, and watch them run.

Flame Somebody On A Forum

Forums are a great place to unleash frustration on complete strangers. There's sure to be someone you disagree with somewhere on line, so why not take a few minutes to seek them out and yell at them. Look up forums for things you hate, then flame entire boards for liking Jennifer Lopez, or red M&M's, or whatever your particular bug bear happens to be.

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Comments 4 comments

LatexLeah profile image

LatexLeah 8 years ago

Hope swings! It's headed to the fence! Way, waaayyy back! It's outta here! Another home run for the slugger! :)


ryn 8 years ago

HAHAHA

very well written lmao love it!


UNDECIDED 6 years ago

NOW THIS I LIKE!


coo coo cachoo 6 years ago

amazing article lmao

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