Relationships People Who Need People Are Lucky Really

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Shouldn't It Depend On What For

Doesn’t that really depend on what people need them for. I mean I hate to be blunt here but some people, women included, need to start growing a set. And if you don’t know what I’m talking about then you definitely don’t need to be reading this hub, for two reasons. One is that you are to young, and number two if your not to young your definitely to naïve or sensitive for my type of writing. Call it tough love, straight to the point, I call it like I see it.

I believe it was Barbara Streisand who sang “People who need people are the luckiest people in the world,” and I have no clue as to how she really feels about that statement, but what I do know is that is not always a true and realistic one. Yes I know it was a song but it sends a very clear message to me, which is sometimes misinterpreted.

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All Fired Up

If your wondering what got me all fired up about this it started in a conversation with a friend of mine who is currently not in a relationship, and another one (which I’ve commented on in a previous hub) who has been whining about the break up now for about 8 months. I know it takes time sometimes, but I mean come on 8 months Of course his X is one of those stay in touch in case the new one doesn't work out, which doesn't help. Well I guess that kind of sums up the second thing that got me fired up so back to the first.

The first conversation got me going when we were talking about work and sometimes she wished she had another job. I know there is nothing wrong with that but it was the comment that followed, “I wish I could find a man,” that sent me flying. When I asked why and “Where did that come from?” the response was, “You know so he could take care of me financially and tell me it was OK to stay home or take my time and look for another one.” What? I was thinking of course along the lines of it being a joke, but I assure you it was not.

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My Thought Process Scary But Sometimes True

Here is my thoughts on this line of thought processing. Relationships are hard. There is no doubt in my mind that they are a lot of WORK (probably why I’m not in one) which in itself can really be a pleasure, if your doing if it for the right person and the right reasons. I mean lets get one thing straight here, I am not against relationships, marriage, significant others, whatever the case may be as long as it is for the right reasons. Trying to find someone to take the pressure off financially, or so that you can take a break from work is not one of them. Believe me if it was, I would start looking TODAY! Then if you consider the beginning of a relationship, (which I call the mediation period), is hard enough without throwing some financial strain in there. Of course it takes two jobs right now to support a family and having that persons income is not only a need but probably a necessity, but it is not a reason to start looking for a man.

People should need other people for all kinds of reasons that are making them to be a better person, but not because you need the justification to feel good about who you already are. It’s like asking your other half what they think when you put something on before you go out. It should be done because you care what they think not because you need reassurance before you go out of the house. Having someone order for you when you go out to a new restaurant is great if your doing it because they know what’s good having been there before, and not because your afraid of what they will think if you ordered it yourself. Do you see where I’m going here?

Having someone compliment you or tell you did something right is great. Shoot we all like compliments it reassures us that the two hours of getting ready was worth the wait, (never happening at my house ½ hr max and that’s make up and everything OK maybe 45min). It should never be a need to be told that you did something right out of fear your always doing it wrong. If you have identified with a couple of these I’m going to suggest some counseling, a life coach, therapy, or something that can get you to the point of having a direction and just feeling good about you. If you want some info on life coaches you can check it out here (it’s just info don’t panic) You see it’s like this, how can you expect someone to love, care, and understand you when you don’t even understand who and what your about yourself.

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Taking Inventory

For a lot of years I never use to be able to take my own inventory, probably around 40 of them, (that‘s right 40yrs). Honestly it was because I was to busy taking everyone else is so they wouldn’t look to see the big empty hole inside mine, and then wondered why I always sabotaging every relationship I was ever in. You can’t get to close to someone who isn’t there.

Men always say they don’t understand women and vice versa, I think sometimes that’s because were not to sure on understanding ourselves.

So listen if your in one of those relationships where your laying on the beach, out back grilling, watching your child take their first steps, or looking over a mountain top at a dream home you know is a shared goal, and you can look into that persons eyes, and when they look back say to yourself “Yeah I know why he/she loves me and that’s just part of the reason I love him back” then I think you have been blessed in more ways than imaginable. Ok now for the I’m getting a little to sappy here. If you look at them and are saying, “Why is he/she always looking at me like that?”, maybe it’s time to take a good look at what there trying to see.

So people needing people can be great, especially if it’s in a relationship, but it needs to be for the right reasons.

Have an incredible day.

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Comments 10 comments

DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 5 years ago

I am happy to be the first to comment.I think if we have to change who we are because someone else doesn't like what we look like or how we we dress and what we do.When this is something we have always done and enjoy doing.Then it might not be the right person for the right reasons.When they want us to do something with them instead to make us happy only to make them happy. If they want us for a paycheck to make their life easier then your in for many surprises in the years to come.If you find someone who compliments who you are and makes you feel great and is willing and loves to do the same interests as you.Then you have found someone loyal and true.If you also love and believe in the same values and feel relaxed and proud to be with them for any reason then you have found a keeper.Love comes before money.Because when the money disappears you will have the love to make more money or do without together.If you never had the love to start when the money is gone so will your fake lover.Nice hub and many interesting thoughts.Thanks for sharing.


Charlu profile image

Charlu 5 years ago from Florida Author

Thank you I enjoy reading your comments as much as I do your hubs and poetry You are so insightful it's inspirational. Thank you again


marellen 5 years ago

Charlu...I couldn't agree more. I'm not in a realtionship because it just doesn't work for me and I would rather be alone. I can take care of myself...Thank you very much....I certainly don't need someone else for that reason. I know people who are in miserable mariages but stay for all kinds of reasons. Frankly, I look at them and think, thank goodness I'm not.


Charlu profile image

Charlu 5 years ago from Florida Author

Hi Marellen, I know people ask me all the time why I don't date and my response is why would I? I mean I think it's great if they're happy, but I'd just rather not deal with the stuff I see most go through. Thanks for reading and your comment. Oh yeah my skunk is back and I think he's decided to stay:)


DREAM ON profile image

DREAM ON 5 years ago

I came back to one of your hubs then I noticed I read it already.That means you have Great hubs that I can read again and again.I still find the same hub interesting and knowledgable and it continues to give me deep insight.I just don't want to leave.Have a nice day.


Charlu profile image

Charlu 5 years ago from Florida Author

Thanks Dream On You are so awesome and full of laughter and inspiration. Thank you so much for your valuable time and great comments


fucsia profile image

fucsia 5 years ago

I am totally agree with you. Only when we are indipendent, from all the point of view includind emotionally, we can have a true and deep love relationship.

Great Hub!


Charlu profile image

Charlu 5 years ago from Florida Author

Hi Fuscia I couldn't have said it any better Thanks for your time and great comment Now I need t go check out some of your hubs. Talk to you soon


Peggy W profile image

Peggy W 4 years ago from Houston, Texas

You are absolutely correct in what you say. If people enter relationships or marriages for the wrong reasons, it will probably never last. And why put yourself through that treadmill of ups and downs that is bound to happen?

That example you cited of the woman looking for a man to "take care of her" financially while she looks for another man...that is just plain terrible! She would not be the type of person that I would want to know. I can see why it inspired this hub of yours.

Voted up and useful.


Charlu profile image

Charlu 4 years ago from Florida Author

Hi Peggy It's weird sometimes for me because some women that's all they want. It just baffles me that someone could pretend and go through all those games just to be better off financially or stay at home. Oh well that's probably why we haven't talked in ages. Thanks for your valued time of sharing, commenting and votes and I'll talk to you soon.

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