Top 3 Ridiculous Things About Men

I think everyone remembers my hub on the Annoying things that men do. Some of us laughed, some of us cried, And a lot of us just got really offended and pissed off. Now I have decided to write a hub on some of the ridiculous things that many men do. Now I am not saying all men. If this doesn't apply to you congrats..You are the only one.

I SAVE YOUU!!
I SAVE YOUU!!
I've been dreaming...
I've been dreaming...

Caveman

Never fear MAN is here!

"I man..You women...You damsel..I hero! "

This is what runs through my mind every time a guy trys to "save" me. I look at him and all the sudden I imagine a bear skinned loin cloth and a very prehistoric looking mallet in his hand. I am sure when I am in "danger" My boyfriend imagines me in the hands of a dragon and him riding in on a white horse and saving me from my capture. But every man seems to think that he, and only he, can solve everyone one of your problems. Another image that comes into my mind is prince charming from Enchanted. His arrogance in the movie is a slight over exaggeration of the way men act when they are rescuing there poor weak girlfriend from the horrible jar of jam that she is to petite to open. (Ladies lets never tell them the secret to opening the jar is to pat the bottom of it firmly and hit it the lid against the table a little, Its much more fun to watch big strong man open jar.)

Othello Syndrome

Oh Othello..tisk tisk

Othello syndrome more commonly known as Jealousy is something that everyone experiences but since we are talking about men and not women lets just talk about how the men deal with it.

So you and your boyfriend are talking about the drums.

You: Oh yeah I know how to play a little bit of drums. I'm not really good but I'm okay.

Him: I'm ok on the drums. My friend Jay taught me a little. How did you learn.

You hesitate: Well...umm..Allen taught me a year ago (Allen being the name of your ex boyfriend. And "him" knowing that)

Looking straight; him: *silence* hmm well I have never seen you drum on things. I have never seen you make beats to the music with your hands or even heard about you playing the drums. ALLEN (emphasis on the name) must be a terrible teacher..Now Jay- (and all you hear now is blah blah blah)

This is an example of man jealousy. He doesn't just say he has a problem instead he gets irrational and just goes on a rant. Some guys just never tell you and let it build up until:

him: WELL MAYBE YOU SHOULD GO MARRY ALLEN AND HIS DRUM SET!!


Men and Shopping

Guys can shop for 10 minutes! What!

I asked my friend from work how he shops, he replied "I look at the shelf and when I find my size I say got ya! Grab it, and go"

I did not understand this at all. But it did make me understand why guys look like they just threw something on..Because they really did just throw it on! When they shop the basically just say "I need clean underwear, socks, and its cold so I should get a jacket."

Some guys do such a bad job they look like...well..someone who begs for money. But "never fear..WOMAN IS HERE!"

And we will pick out cute outfits that make you go from Colin Farrell (Or Robert Pattinson when he refuses to wear deodorant) to Jamie Foxx.

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Comments 13 comments

wsp2469 profile image

wsp2469 6 years ago from Alta Loma, Ca

Hi cutie!

Actually, I honestly think I DO have all the answers and CAN save everyone (but myself) so your first point is right. Not sure about the other two points and don't have enough time right now to think about it but if I DO take the time you KNOW we'll both be getting a lot more traffic-lol

Nice intro and nice hub! I'm torn regarding your avatars though . . . I really liked your hair in the first one . . . the cleavage was very nice but you weren't smiling and in this one you have a great smile but we can't see you great long hair! Anyway, gotta go I have a new FT gig now--for a little while--so don't have as much time anymore what with new gig and paid writing gigs and all!


Bredavies profile image

Bredavies 6 years ago Author

well I hope everyone understands that I am joking this time. :)talk to you soon!


mtsi1098 6 years ago

I am not sure the first two points apply to me consistently but the first point is absolutely me - I just know what I want from shopping and that is why it takes my 10 minutes (or less)...I enjoyed the hub


Rochelle Frank profile image

Rochelle Frank 6 years ago from California Gold Country

I know you are joking-- even though you are absolutely right about the jar thing. How do they think we can do it when they are not there?

Men absolutely shop differently. If I spend a couple of hours in a store without buying anything, my hubby doesn't consider it shopping. There is a fine line between shopping and buying.


elayne001 profile image

elayne001 6 years ago from Rocky Mountains

That was a fun hub. Totally agree on some things. My husband will sit out in the car and read or sleep while I shop. I told him to buy something in the store the other day for himself and he chose a $5 DVD - that's it! lol

Aloha!


TattoGuy 6 years ago

Good to see ya back hotstuff ; ) x


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 6 years ago from Canada

This is hilarious! I'm so with you on these. Thanks for the laughs!


Helen Bolam profile image

Helen Bolam 5 years ago from South Shields

Yep that's men. A useful quote from Jurassic Park. "God creates man, dinosaur eats man, woman inherits the earth". Great Hub.


WoodsmensPost profile image

WoodsmensPost 5 years ago from Arizona

I enjoyed reading this hub. Do you know the othello thing you talk about can happen even after marriage for 20 years and a ex boyfriends name is mentioned that was from 30 years before it can do something weird that a man has no control over. If a woman really wants to take a slice of a mans heart then mention an ex . Good hub thanks for writing it.


STEVEW13 profile image

STEVEW13 4 years ago from Norwich, England

Great hub, really enjoyed the read and the humorous touch. Looking forward to reading more from you


Bredavies profile image

Bredavies 4 years ago Author

Thank you all! Im glad you enjoyed it. :)


word55 profile image

word55 16 months ago from Chicago

I guess I'm Johnny come lately but this is interesting. I don't know why I feel that I look good in anything that I wear. However, today for the first time in my life I wore a striped, pink and white shirt with sleeves rolled up (because I'm always working) and I had on light colored pants. I was looking like summertime in Chicago for a change. My dear niece saw me and said "oh, that shirt is so ugly." Well anyway, I felt good because I was wearing bright clothes for a change. I said to her, oh really!? She said yeah... I just ignored her after that. I felt vibrant because I usually wear darker clothes.


Bredavies profile image

Bredavies 16 months ago Author

I think light colors look good on guys! I think lighter cloths really make you stand out.

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