Robotic Futures | Meet Your Tiny Robot Girlfriend

You know what's wrong with most girlfriends? They'll barely make you a cup of coffee most of the time, let alone grind the beans themselves. That's the problem with women today, a lack of dedication to their men. No wonder many perfectly normal chaps are turning to robots to have the most basic of their needs fulfilled.

Observe the dedication of this most excellent robot:

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Ignore that bit at the end where she tips over at the wrong place and pours freshly brewed hot coffee all over the table. She's still an improvement on real women, we're more likely to mistakenly pour the coffee in men's laps anyway, am I right? Hell yeah!

Now that the tiny robots we were always promised have arrived, humans have been freed from the rigors of inter-human. communication (I must admit, I always found it tiresome. People are so, peoplish, always with their emotions and their untidy excretions.) Robots come with none of these disadvantages, instead they are perfect in their logic. This will no doubt come as a relief to men unable to keep up with the wild mood swings and illogical arguments that we human women thrust upon our partners at regular intervals.

Humanoid Girlfriend: “Does my ass look fat in this?”

Reasonable Human Man: “No honey, you look great,”

Humanoid Girlfriend: “Really?”

Reasonable Human Man: “Yes, really. It's much better than the green one.”

Humanoid Girlfriend: “Are you saying I'm fat!?”

Reasonable Human Man: “No, god no, I've never said you were fat. Now your mom, she's fat.”

Humanoid Girlfriend: “You hate my mom!”

Reasonable Human Man: “Yes. Make me some coffee.

And that's where a guy gets a lap full of coffee, through absolutely no wrong doing of his own. The conversation goes quite differently with a robot girlfriend.

Robot Girlfriend: “........”

Awesomely Happy Human Man: “Make me some coffee.”

Robot Girlfriend: “........”

Coffee is then adorably held out for your drinking convenience.

Note that the Robot Girlfriend in the video has not been provided with a voice. The Robot Girlfriend will never nag you to pick your dirty underwear off the floor, brush your teeth, or go to work. The Robot Girlfriend will sit quietly by whilst you play video games until 2 am in the morning, making you cup of coffee after cup of coffee until you suffer a massive heart attack and are discovered, months later, sitting blissfully in your own filth, the WoW disconnect screen merrily twinkling as your faithful little robot girlfriend holds a now mold encrusted cup of coffee up for your pleasure. Now that, my friends, is true love.

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Comments 1 comment

Mike 7 years ago

God bless my human GF Hope, she's taken everything I've thrown her way. From my affinity for ladies undergarments to my comments that it wasn't the outfit that made her butt look big, it was in fact, her butt that made it look big. Even after all that she still makes me coffee in the morning from fresh ground beans and then brings it to me the mornings I'm still home after she wakes. I think I'll keep her for a while longer.

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