Say hi to, "Prince Kenneth"

Prince William listening to people

And this is a "hard" task?
And this is a "hard" task?

More photos of Prince William "in action"

WILLIAM POSING IN HIS R.A.F. UNIFORM. (ROYAL AIR FORCE).
WILLIAM POSING IN HIS R.A.F. UNIFORM. (ROYAL AIR FORCE).
PRINCE(S) HARRY, LEFT, AND WILLIAM, RIGHT, TALK ABOUT A CHARITY BICYCLE RIDE.
PRINCE(S) HARRY, LEFT, AND WILLIAM, RIGHT, TALK ABOUT A CHARITY BICYCLE RIDE.
WILLIAM STANDING WITH THE MOST-BEAUTIFUL WOMAN ALIVE: PRINCESS KATE.
WILLIAM STANDING WITH THE MOST-BEAUTIFUL WOMAN ALIVE: PRINCESS KATE.
WILLIAM TAKES PART IN OLDEN BRITISH CELEBRATION.
WILLIAM TAKES PART IN OLDEN BRITISH CELEBRATION.
WILLIAM TALKING TO YOUNG ATHLETES.
WILLIAM TALKING TO YOUNG ATHLETES.
WILLIAM BEING HONORED AT SOCCER MATCH.
WILLIAM BEING HONORED AT SOCCER MATCH.
WILLIAM SMILING AT CROWDS.
WILLIAM SMILING AT CROWDS.
WILLIAM MAKING A SPEECH.
WILLIAM MAKING A SPEECH.

A few days back I published a hub concerning a fantasy I "had," about British Princess Catherine "Kate" Middleton, wife of British Prince William, "winging over the pond," to spend a day me. Ahhh, what a dream that "was." You know and I know, even God knows that Katie Middleton doesn't even know my name, phone number, blood type or underwear size.

I couldn't care less. I've moved on. But since I am still in the "British Royalty Vein," of hub subjects, I've decided to give equal time to her husband, Prince William, the brother of Prince Harry, both are sons of Prince Charles and the late (and very lovely), Princess Di.

I do not care about researching Prince Harry since he is currently single. And that in itself really isn't hub material. Most everywhere you look in Europe you see or hear about a single prince who is "living the life," and that includes Prince Harry. So much for that.

I want to, actually be totally-honest, vent, if you will, about Prince William and all the la-de-da about being a prince. What's the big deal about being a prince? Is there some secret about becoming a prince that has been kept from me and the rest of the free world? I am serious here. I hate being kept "in the dark." I mean, I respect our own C.I.A., but why the secrecy? Are they afraid people such as myself will suddenly become diabolically-smart enough to hatch a plot to take over the United States, Alabama included?

I say, as one free American citizen for the time being, enough of his pomp and fanfare about living your life as a prince. Isn't it time we got serious with each other? Prince William, contrary to the tabloids in London, is human. He showers, shaves, and uses the "john," like any normal man. Now I am not stupid enough to buy into the thinking that he pays a gentleman's gentleman to use the bathroom for him while he plans his day. Nor am I stupid enough to buy into the idea that Prince William's bare feet have never touched Mother Earth. Enough already.

Prince William is a charmed man. From a charmed background. That is not to say that Prince William is a "delicate flower of manhood," wearing silk undies and Persian shoes round the clock. The kid has really put in some work on this prince thing. If I understand monarch protocol, his dad, Prince Charles of Wales, the son of Prince Phillip who is married to Queen Elizabeth, will be the next king of England. And hopefully rule for years. But in the event that Charles cannot rule or lives-out his reign, then Prince William, who is married to Kate Middleton, will assume the throne. Right? And hey, why are there not any "kings," of England, just princes?

If I were in William's shoes, I'd get in on the books that I was to be called "King William, and Queen Kate," not any of that prince and princess stuff. Can I get an amen?

With that being gotten off my chest, now we all know the destiny of Prince William and Princess Kate. Good. Don't you feel better at just knowing that we won't have to worry about who's in charge of England if we decide to defect and leave the United States?

I am. I am as happy as a honeybee stuck in a rose. Happy, man. Happy. I like being happy when I figure out certain things in life.

Now let me ask you this? What keeps me, or people like me, from being a "prince"? Not of England, of course, but prince of where we live? Is there a law on the Federal Government books hidden somewhere in a salt mine in Utah stating that common American citizens cannot be princes? If you know of such a law, simply comment at the bottom of this hub and I will thank you at the top of my next hub, which, by way of "letting the prince out of the linen bag," will not be about British Royalty. I can assure you of that.

Before I venture any further, do you suppose that HubPages, with members all across the globe, has members in England? Members who are close enough to Prince William and Princess Kate to tell them that they are now more famous than on their world-famous wedding?

Well anyway. What is so doggone tough about being a prince? Have you actually sat down and pondered this question? You haven't? Well why not? It's an important issue. To me. And should be to you as well.

I am going to name the (things that I am aware of) that Prince William now does, and show you that "I" can match him item for item.

Prince William can speak eloquently.

I can speak fluent "Southern Back Woods Slang," as good as anybody. See thar?

Prince William smiles a lot in front of the camera.

I smile a lot when my wife takes my picture, for any reason.

Prince William shakes peoples' hands in big crowds.

I can also shake a stranger's hand and wish him my best.

Prince William loves to encourage young people in school.

Hey, I do that often and I don't have to be seen on television to do it.

Prince William has done his tour in the R.A.F. (Royal Air Force).

When I was 18 in 1972, I registered for the Draft when the United States was sending guys my age to Vietnam. So that should tell you that I'm not a draft-dodger. Or afraid of some gunfire.

Prince William lives in stately Buckingham Palace.

I live on 123 Rock Cliff Road, Hamilton, Alabama, where there is a trailer park behind my house. The local police visit this place often. The trailer park, not my house.

Prince William has a mind for politics.

Well I can sit-in on any Hamilton City Council meeting I please. And if I were a member, I could nod, smile and agree with whatever if being passed into law.

Prince William has unlimited wardrobe choices.

So do I, but I prefer Faded Glory jeans. Where I beat William in this comparison is that he is forced to wear formal wear all of the time. I am not.

Prince William's mother was the beautiful and much-adored, Princess Di.

My mom passed away in Aug. 2010 and entered Heaven as a saint. Fact is, she and Mother Teresa are on a first-name basis.

Prince William rides purebred horses and plays polo, "the sport of kings."

Horses hate me, but I can ride an old jackass any day of the week and throw a long pass to one of my football-crazy buddies.

Prince William is driven around by a chauffeur.

I am driven around by my wife in her 2003 Chevy.

Prince William has bodyguards.

He has me beat with this one for with my body, who would want to steal it?

Prince William is a very handsome guy.

"I" think I clean-up good.

Prince William is begged by newspapers for interviews almost everyday.

I, on the other hand, would gladly allow any newspaper to interview me. See how much more cordial and giving "I" am on this item?

And I could go on. But I won't. A dear friend and very-talented follower of mine who just happens to be known on HubPages as "catgypsy," told me something very wise a ways back.

She said, "Ken, just remember, your hubs do not have to be in book-length to be good."

She was right as rain.

My final personal comparison to Prince William is:

Prince William is married, of course you know, to the gorgeous Princess Catherine "Kate" Middleton.

I am married to lady who is far from a princess. She is my wife. And that makes her a "queen."

Now, will someone please show me to my throne.

Prince William shaking hands

Yeah, what "labor" William performs.
Yeah, what "labor" William performs.

More by this Author


Comments 6 comments

TToombs08 profile image

TToombs08 4 years ago from Somewhere between Heaven and Hell without a road map.

Ken, this was great! :) I had a smile on my face the whole time I read it. LOL!!! Voted up and more. Great work!


writer20 profile image

writer20 4 years ago from Southern Nevada

Good write up. Being British I'm very much a Royalist and of course I totally believe in my Royal Family.


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 4 years ago from the South

I have one thing to say...you are a Prince to us Kenneth!

Very funny hub...ok, two things to say!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hey, TToombs!

Thanks so much for your uplifting words. I appreciate it. And I pray that you have the BEST day ever. I hope you come back for a longer visit next time.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Writer20, Thank you very much for your sweet comment. I respect you and your loyalties. But do you think really, that "I" with a few changes, could be a prince? Maybe me wanting this is a case of the "life being greener on the other side of the pond," huh?

Think I will stay where I am and be content.

See you again, writer20, and keep up the great work.

Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 4 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear catgypsy,

"You have made MY WEEK." Wow-eee, I sound like junior in high school reacting with "Jonie Sue Loggins," the most-popular girl in school agrees to go out with me on Friday night, but to me, that's happy, cat. Very happy. Thanks!

Love to you from me and Festus!!!!

Kenneth

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working