Saying I Am Sorry

I Am Sorry

 Saying “I am sorry” does not come easily for some of us. Everyone, at some point in our lives has said or done something that has caused our friends, spouse, child, sibling etc. to hurt. Sometimes we know right away that we have offended the person, or sometimes we are not aware and we only become aware  when it is said or when a malice has developed.  For me, whenever this happens, I am filled with remorse and I always try to right the wrong that my thoughtlessness caused.

Some persons realize their wrong and do nothing about it, hoping that with time the offended person will heal, so they maybe stay away for awhile. If you are guilty of this, you should know that ignoring the hurt you caused will only make things worse. The longer you take to apologize, the harder it will be to do and you will eventually destroy the relationship.

How can you tell someone you hurt or offend that you are sorry?

1.      Recount the situation to make sure that you and the offended are on the same page.  Your apology should be on the particular event that caused the offence, example, you  forgot your significant other’s birthday. Don’t apologize for always forgetting, but instead for missing the recent one.

 

2.      Acknowledge the hurt or damage done. You are telling the offended that you validate his or her feelings.  This is important if you want to rebuild the relationship and regain that person’s trust .

 

3.      Do not make excuses nor  try to  justify your actions. It is the other person’s feelings, so that is what you need to address.

 

4.      Say “I am sorry” or “I apologize” and promise that it will not happen again.

 

5.      If it is your spouse or lover, kiss and make up ( in whatever way you want!) For other persons - a hug, handshake or a pat on the back will suffice.

Although you will never be able to take back what was said or done, an apology has the power to soothe the hurt and pain caused. If this speaks to you, it is time for you to humble yourself and graciously say you are sorry when you offend others, especially someone who is close to you.

Are you Man or Woman enough to say it like you mean it?   I AM SORRY!

Truly yours.

Comments 24 comments

MAD2011 profile image

MAD2011 5 years ago from Kingston, Jamaica

Another useful Hub Doc. One other thing though, I also think that sometimes the person saying sorry may not be fully aware of what has happened. Its important that they know why he/she is apologizing and if not, as you said, both parties need to be on the same page.


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Thank you MAD2011. I do agree with you and that is why communication is essential. The person who has been offended should let the offender know exactly what happened and how much he or she is hurting, so that the offender will understand the depth of the hurt and apologize accordingly.


speedbird profile image

speedbird 5 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

Saying 'am sorry' seems hard to many but it is some of these simple things that matter and mean a lot in life. Voted UP and rated AWESOME


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 5 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

I totally agree with Speedbird, Dr Ope... I want to add that I think this is just as important in matters of business / professionalism. I am appalled at the times that physicians, corporations, etc make gross errors and never apologize (in any form) to clients (families in extreme cases like death). Sometimes an admission of human error (ie-- an apology) is all it would take... in any event I am "not sorry" you wrote this and I voted you UP and AWESOME as well...!


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Thanks for your comments and high ratings speedbird.


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Thank you marcoujor. I am glad that you found my hub useful and I do agree with you wholeheartedly. Thanks for following, as I will continue to follow you.


Phoebe Pike 5 years ago

I'm on the opposite side, I think I might say it too much. I apologize for bumping into people, for going into a room and interrupting a conversation, unintentionally of course... I wish I wouldn't say it so often, but now it's a force of habit, even though I mean it every time I say it. *Shrug* In any case, it is an excellent hub and very well-written.


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Thank you Phoebe Pike. Your ability to readily say "I am sorry" when you have erred shows that you are truly a wonderful person. Keep sharing and I will be following you


2besure profile image

2besure 5 years ago from Charlotte, North Carolina

When you have been hurt and lash out with hurtful, ugly words someone, it is hard to say your are sorry. You feel justified because of the offense. I can eventually say sorry when I am wrong.


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Thanks for visiting 2besure and for your comments. Saying " I am sorry" are the hardest words to say sometimes. Thanks for following


Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK

Those 2 words help avoid lots of problems/regrets. If only we would be humble and just say them. Nice Hub. :)


almasi profile image

almasi 5 years ago

I think your point "Acknowledge the hurt or damage done. You are telling the offended that you validate his or her feelings" is very important because it shows we are not just saying sorry for the sake of saying it but for the sake of mending the damage we have caused.

Thanks for a useful hub.


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Lady_E Thank you for your comment. Yes indeed, saying sorry helps to avoid problems and heal pains. All the best.


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Almasi, thank you for visiting my hub and leaving a comment. Yes, we should only say 'sorry' if we really and truly mean it so that all the hurt and pain caused, will be mended.


accofranco profile image

accofranco 5 years ago from L Island

This is a great article, it is true, we find it so difficult to let that word out....but saying it could save us lots of worries and would-be troubles...nice hub doc...really liked it and voted up!


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Thank you accofranco for visiting. All the best with your hubs!


Fay Paxton 5 years ago

Excellent article. I've never quite understood why it is so difficult for some people to apologize. I think there is more concern about being right than there is about doing right.

voted up/useful


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Thank you Fay Paxton. Thanks for you vote and all the best!


Carl B profile image

Carl B 5 years ago

It is difficult to apologize, but you're right about not prolonging it because it will only make matters worse. Nice hub!


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Carl B, thank you for your comments. All the best.


Carl B profile image

Carl B 5 years ago

Your welcome. Looking forward to reading more of your work.


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 5 years ago Author

Thanks for your visit.


Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 4 years ago from South Carolina

Great hub and useful recommendations for how to make an appropriate and effective apologize to someone when we realize that we've hurt them.

Voted up, useful, awesome and interesting.

I agree that ignoring the hurt you realize that you caused simply deepens the hurt that the other person experiences while apologizing and if appropriate, making amends, has the power to help heal the hurt and strengthen the relationship that you have with them.


Dr.Ope profile image

Dr.Ope 4 years ago Author

So true Happyboomernurse. Thank you for your kind comments and for visiting my hub. All the best to you.

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