The Truth With Second Marriages and Divorce Rate

I would think that second marriages would be more successful. I thought the divorced would have learned from their mistakes and possibly how to communicate better? But that does not seem to be the case.

Unfortunately, The odds of divorce are somewhat higher for those saying "I Do" for the second time around. But we must realize that there is alot more involved. It isn't as if the soon-to-be bride and groom are 1st timers and have no "baggage" to carry.

The probability of remarriage is lower in communities with very high unemployment, poverty and receipt of public assistance, and/or very low median family incomes. It is also about 45 percent higher for non-metropolitan areas than for central cities.

Social class effects the likely hood of marriage. For instance, in the south it is frowned on to be singled or divorced. It is the southern way to be married and taken care of by the man. I am from North Carolina and outspoken “Yankees” are not marriage material. Submissive, old-fashioned girls are to be married. Also, one of wealth tend to marry again, women over men. Poverty stricken are of the few to remarry.

 According to the National Center for Health Statistics 

•   54 percent of divorced women remarry within 5 years
•   75 percent of divorced women remarry within 10 years
•    Black women are the least likely to remarry
•   White women are the most likely to remarry

Remarried families have more complex issues to confront: exes to deal with, and stepchildren to raise. Also, the couple is somewhat paranoid of another “failing” marriage in which they tend to over analyze or compare to the first spouse.

The child tends to think that the (soon to be) step parent is replacing or trying to replace the original parent. Resentment and anger can result from this. We have all heard the saying regarding steps and the step parent- “You are not my mom/dad!” And that is exactly how most feel unless the “step” is a part of their life from an early age. The step parent may feel as if he has to play the role of parent although they are not. Resulting in conflict with the child as well as the biological parent.

It is claimed that in your mid-twenties is the best time to marry. It is suggested that the person in their mid-twenties have nothing to gain by waiting and that it is most likely an intact marriage and of the highest quality at this age. Men at this age are not relying on mom to do his laundry, cook his meals and pay his bills. This is essential to a marriage to know that the man will help around the house and potentially help with the children.

I never was one to believe in claims...

Thinking of my parents divorce, I think it was a combination of factors that caused it. They were far too young. She 17, he 19. They had separate social classes, ever changing gender roles and could not meet eye-to-eye on religion. The main factor to their divorce is interpersonal problems. Annoying habits, nagging, my father never home, NO communication, possible affairs, if it is listed as a possible cause for divorce, it was a factor with my mom and dad. It was the best thing to happen for them, Divorcing that is.

However, my father moved onto a marriage that he has been happy within for over 20 years now. How? Take my advice:

1. Listen to your ex and the reasons why you divorced. Learn from them and apply those reasons to the next.
2. Don’t give up on marriage.
3. Don’t consider yourself a failure.
4. Don’t make excuses for your behavior.

If you cheated on your spouse in the last marriage, admit your wrong to yourself and learn from that. If you stayed out numerous nights and didn't bother calling- that's a contributing factor, use it and learn from it. Be honest with yourself about your wrong-doings. Find the reasons why the first marriage failed and learn from within. You can only help yourself to help your second marriage successful.