Second+ Weddings & Gifts: Rules for Success!

Showers are OUT for second+ time brides-to-be!
Showers are OUT for second+ time brides-to-be!

Let's Start With Pre-Wedding Parties...

Weddings are times of gift-giving, there's no doubt about it. But there is confusion when it comes to second+ weddings and gifts. What's appropriate and in good taste?

Considering that most couples marry for the first time in their late twenties and divorce, on average, seven years later... we're not dealing with teeny-boppers the second-time+ around, but rather mature couples who are most likely established.

True, these couples want to celebrate their happiness and love, but they shouldn't want to over-burden their families and friends, who chances are, were invited to their previous wedding(s). For that reason, engagement parties and showers are out!

If a bachelor or bachelorette party is planned, why not? However, the bride- and groom-to-be should pay their own way.

NOTE: The number of marriages depends on the bride and not the groom. A first-time bride will celebrate all the traditional parties, celebrations and gifts that a wedding offers.

Older, engaged couples, should not expect wedding gifts!
Older, engaged couples, should not expect wedding gifts!

Second+ Weddings & Gifts: Yes or No?

According to Crane, that manufacturer of elegant and premium invitations, and the ultimate source on wedding invitation etiquette, it's appropriate for the second-time bride and groom to expect gifts. After all, they say, their families and friends will want to "gift" them and will feel slighted otherwise. And I agree...

But the third+ wedding is where I draw the line. Gifts should NOT be expected. The couple may enclose a separate card with their invitation that states, "Your presence is the only gift we request..." Crane says this is also appropriate if the couple is older...

NOTE: The number of marriages depends on the bride and not the groom. A first-time bride will celebrate all the traditional parties, celebrations and gifts that a wedding offers.

Second-time brides-to-be may register for wedding gifts, only!
Second-time brides-to-be may register for wedding gifts, only!

Second Weddings and Gift Registries...

Wedding registry information is never included with any invitation to pre-wedding festivities (and in the case of second+ weddings, there are NO pre-wedding festivities) or the wedding itself, and for second+ weddings it's no different.

Couples who are marrying for the second time, however, may include wedding registry information on their "wedding website", which their family and friends may access at their convenience.

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