Separating the real man or men from their boy counterparts
For the ladies
I read many writings on the Internet, from time to time, about what real men do or don't do. So I started to wonder and ponder about just who those real men are that so many authors are talking about.
Now some guy can write about what real women do or don't do but this one is for the ladies in the crowd here. I have no intentions of writing about that subject, or at least not here on this hub.
Why do we seldom listen to good advice?
When we are young women we seldom listen to anything anyone tells us. We ignore all the good advice from seasoned women who have gone before us. You know, those women who've been around that corner and can tell us, from experience, just what we will find when we turn those corners.
We all say to ourselves: “Yes, yes, but it's different with us, this relationship, even though this guy was like yours, is just going to work out.”
We do this, we convince ourselves of this and we think our peers, our own age, know more. Even though we do know those peers have lived no longer than we have.
Why do we do this? Well, it's the 21st century and it seems like this scenario has gotten no better.
As young women we.............
I know, as young women, we always think our parents are old fashioned, and if they are not willing to discuss relationships, the pitfalls of bad ones and good sex choices, well then they are old fashioned. Even in 2011, many young girls get their sex education from movies and TV shows, which of course, do not offer any discussions or even any moral guidance. Way too often, TV shows even encourage bad sex choices and relationships on reality shows that glorify those bad choices and glamorize them. Let's face it, TV is out to make money, any way they can, so TV is not interested in how our daughter's view good or bad choices. Guidance is not old fashioned because times may change, but human nature usually does not.
Just who in heck are those 'real' men?
So who are the real men and is there any way we can recognize them and identify them when so many boys disguised in bodies of grown men, are out there? Maybe we can take a look at just what makes a man a man.
1) Boys tend to play house, men build homes. This is quite true. Boys want to play at relationships, often skipping from woman to woman to see what they can score or to simply toy with a woman's affections, not really intending to grow up emotionally anytime too soon. They may want to live with a woman, but never really commit very well to the idea of one man, one woman so they end up playing house, not really giving the relationship their full attention, hoping it will all fall into place with little or no effort on their part. Boys tend to simply shack up. Real men get married.These guys aren't too difficult to spot, if you pay attention, that is.
2) Boys make babies, men raise children. A boy refuses to raise his own children. A real man will raise his own and often will help raise another person's children too, this happens when a man may have not had a real woman in the first marriage, or they didn't work out so he marries again. Marrying a woman, who has children already, doesn't phase a real man, he just loves the woman enough to help raise her kids too.
3) Boys will often invent excuses for their failures. Real men are always thinking up strategies for success, being too busy to dwell on and invent excuses for what happened or what went wrong.
4) Boys look for someone to take care of them, while real men look for someone to take care of. I often think of this one when I think of a woman I know who ran up her credit card to take care of her guy. He never seemed to hold a job, or never seemed to have any money for gas or other things in life. Too many boys in men suits use women.
5) Boys tend to seek popularity, whether they deserve it or not. Real men demand respect and know how to give respect back. This one is a really big topic for me since my present marriage is a good one because I learned, finally, how to tell a real man from the boys I was dating for far too many years.
Just my take on things
This hub is simply my take on things I have observed, and sometimes experienced, in relationships. I have found it to be a good idea to date someone for at least a year, if you think it might be serious. I find that while anyone can fool anybody for a short time, it's almost impossible to fool someone for a year. While dating, observe how the object of your affection acts in all situations. How he treats people, even when dining out or shopping. Don't fall into the trap of: "But I love him, he'll change."
The only way we can change anyone is if they are wearing diapers. Remember that!
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