Sex, Love, and Marriage... Men and Women....... 25 Favorite Quotes

Maggie Smith
Maggie Smith

We're all interested in it, we all talk about it, we all feel awkward at times about it.... why not laugh about it? Here's some of my favorite quotations about sex and love.

George Carlin
George Carlin
Woody Allen
Woody Allen
Rita Rudner
Rita Rudner
Steve Martin
Steve Martin
Mae West
Mae West

Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth. Deal with it. -- George Carliin

Sex without love is an empty experience, but as empty experiences go, it's one of the best. -- Woody Allen

If love is the answer, could you please rephrase the question? -- Lily Tomlin

Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed. -- Albert Einstein

I read so many bad things about sex that I had to give up reading -- Anonymous

In my house I'm the boss, my wife is just the decision maker -- Woody Allen

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.—Billy Crystal

When I eventually met Mr Right I had no idea that his first name was Always –- Rita Rudner

A man's only as old as the woman he feels – Groucho Marx

Never miss a chance to have sex or appear on television. – Gore Vidal

I'm such a good lover because I practice a lot on my own -- Woody Allen

The best way to get husbands to do something is to suggest that perhaps they are too old to do it. --- Shirley MacLaine

I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy. – Steve Martin

Men who don't understand women fall into two groups: Bachelors and Husbands --Jacques Languirand

You know that look women get when they want sex? Me neither! – Drew Carey

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet.— Mae West

During sex I fantasize that I'm someone else.--- Richard Lewis

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, and half-shut afterwards. – Ben Franklin

I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal - high enough so you can look up her dress – Steve Martin

There is nothing wrong with making love with the light on. Just make sure the car door is closed – George Burns

Your marriage is in trouble if your wife says, 'You're only interested in one thing,' and you can't remember what it is. – Milton Berle

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside. – Roseanne Barr

It's not true that I had nothing on. I had the radio on – Marilyn Monroe

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
-- Mignon McLaughlin

All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt. ---

Charles M Schulz


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Comments 19 comments

Jaspal profile image

Jaspal 7 years ago from New Delhi, India

Great quotes! I'll opt for sex, beer and chocolate ... :)

maven101 profile image

maven101 7 years ago from Northern Arizona

Haw !! Loved these quotes...I almost choked on my coffee reading Roseanne's quote...

My favorite marriage quote is from Agatha Christie. When someone remarked to Agatha about her being 15 years older than her husband Max Mallowan, the archaeologist, she said " The older I get, the more interesting I am to him! ”. ...Larry

Keith S 7 years ago

Again, good stuff. Keep up the creative hubs.

elisabethkcmo profile image

elisabethkcmo 7 years ago from Just East of Oz Author

Thanks for visiting my hub house again, I'm honored that you enjoyed my quote collection!

Loved the quote, maven.

Enjoy your diet of sex, beer, and chocolate, Jaspal, save room for pizza

paul b profile image

paul b 7 years ago from Massachusetts

I've always loved quotations. You've put together a nice collection, starting with the "Men are from Earth. Women are from Earth." LOL

Uninvited Writer profile image

Uninvited Writer 7 years ago from Kitchener, Ontario

Lol, great quotes :) I liked Rita Rudner's and George Carlin's best :)

elisabethkcmo profile image

elisabethkcmo 7 years ago from Just East of Oz Author

It's a pleasure some of those things I enjoy..

thanks paul b and Uninvited Writer..

arunjain1989 profile image

arunjain1989 7 years ago from mumbai

I enjoyed raeding every quote of yours.Good collection.thumbs up for this hub.

elisabethkcmo profile image

elisabethkcmo 7 years ago from Just East of Oz Author

glad you enjoyed these quotes, arunjain ,and thank you for your kind words in fan mail!

Helen Cater profile image

Helen Cater 7 years ago from UK

Very funny and nice pics.

elisabethkcmo profile image

elisabethkcmo 7 years ago from Just East of Oz Author

Why thanks Helen, I'm glad that this hub gave you a chuckle!!

Kosmo profile image

Kosmo 7 years ago from California

I particularly like the Woody Allen quotes. He's always quick with the bon mots, especially regarding sex. Later!

elisabethkcmo profile image

elisabethkcmo 7 years ago from Just East of Oz Author

Hello, Kosmo, thanks for stopping by and sharing your thoughts!

tomdhum profile image

tomdhum 7 years ago from memphis tn

LOL tomdhum

elisabethkcmo profile image

elisabethkcmo 7 years ago from Just East of Oz Author

tomdhum, thanks from dorothy and toto too!


Srinivasan Rajaram 6 years ago


4tune profile image

4tune 5 years ago from Michigan

Ohh think I will have a piece of chocolate now : ) Funny stuff here.

elisabethkcmo profile image

elisabethkcmo 5 years ago from Just East of Oz Author

thanks, 4tune! I think I'll read this hub again myself!

gloria 5 years ago

while is like it

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