Think Before You Have Sex Outside of Marriage


Think Before Sex Outside Of Marriage!

Marriage is so much more than just an idea! A high-quality satisfying marriage requires Love, Commitment and good open Communication! Make it a point to understand what your spouse is relaying to you. Repeat back to them what they are saying if you are not sure what they mean! You can either build or tear down with your words! Take the time to listen and understand one another. This does not mean that you will always agree! The goal is to understand where they are coming from and what their perspective is and how do you continue to go forward together! Marriage is about continually refining and improving your relationship!

It is important to build good healthy secure marriage boundaries! Pray for and with your spouse! Be careful from whom you seek counsel! Many marriages have failed due to poor communication and unwise counsel! When seeking an objective opinion or wise counsel to resolve conflict it is important that you present the facts… or distinguish that this is how you feel! It is important for each of you to take responsibility for your part in the marriage! Marriage was designed by God to be the ultimate partnership of love between a man and a woman! “HIS LOVE endures Forever!”

Whoever you join yourself together with becomes a part of you more than you might know! If you have had multiple partners take some time and allow the Lord to heal and restore you before rushing into another relationship! Take some time to recollect yourself and think on a deeper level as to what you really want out of a relationship! It is easier to continue to just change partners rather than develop a deep monogamous lasting relationship! Many instead opt to maintain a surface, superficial relationship. This usually leaves one unsatisfied and never really allows true intimacy to develop… STOP GIVING YOURSELF AWAY! GOD CAN refresh and renew you!

Be careful and selective who you join yourself together with! A man deposits his DNA into the woman that can possibly linger for a lifetime! You actually bond together… There really is nothing casual at all about sex! Many don’t consider what is really happening beyond just getting their sexual needs satisfied! A surge of oxytocin from the brain makes a woman want to have sex and bond. A surge of testosterone from the brain makes a man want to have sex but possibly be done with you once its over! Again, Stop giving away parts of yourself and begin to respect yourself! Save yourself until you want to make a total commitment! (Please be sure to see video below!)

Spend quality time in the Word of God discovering firsthand what He has said about marriage! I personally am in favor of God’s Design for Marriage! It really can work! Your spouse should become your best lifetime friend!

Many today engage in physical and or emotional affairs… This does not have to be! Many do not think about how hazardous this is for their marriage! Open marriages breed insecurity! Infidelity is very dangerous in marriage! It bonds you with someone other than your spouse! This actually weakens your marital bond! It also fosters an unhealthy unstable marriage environment of doubt, distrust and insecurity…

Due to the fact that the societal expectation for marriage has substantially lowered the moral standards, this now renders infidelity as more acceptable! Make it a priority to tenderly and sincerely fulfill one another’s physical needs so there is not a need to go outside of your marriage to just have sex! You are not only cheating your spouse, your so called lover, but yourself as well! Someone will be hurt! Affairs are rampart today but can be avoided when you are sensitive to one another’s needs! You also honor The Lord and the vows you made! Continue to flame the embers of love in your marriage! Rekindle the initial attraction or build a new one! Set aside some time and openly discuss ways to improve your communication, deepen your intimacy, build transparency and enhance your love making rather than look outside of your marriage to get your physical needs met… Now each time you come together and give of yourself to one another you reinforce the marital bond! So please “Think Before Sex Outside of Marriage!”

Previously married partners or unmarried sexual partners have a tendency to fall back into sexual relationships because they have bonded before! They are familiar with one another and have connected physically and often have unfinished issues between them. This is also why it is important to think before you give yourself to someone because they become a part of you! Momentarily they so often set aside their differences to just have sex. However the commitment is no longer there! As adults you can always choose to do whatever you want but remember there are always consequences for those choices!

If you are single and seeking to marry it is important to know that once you have become physically intimate outside of marriage it is harder to be objective! It is quite common today but so is divorce! For many it doesn’t matter because after all we are adults… Not really realizing that it can cause inner conflict as you prematurely bond without being committed to one another… There is a magnetic sexual attraction that occurs that often yields you powerless. Remember what I said earlier about bonding! I suggest putting off the physical relationship until you have married and have truly committed to one another… If things don’t work out you have not given more of yourself away! This also exercises discipline! Self control is an honorable virtue! First really take this time to get to know one another better before you plunge into another relationship… Consider waiting and take the time to build a physically satisfying physical relationship once you have made your vows! Remember your body is a temple...

Since you are single you are in a good position because you can look forward to finding a spouse that you are compatible with! Don't just settle for anyone out of loneliness! You no longer have to compromise yourself! Find healthier ways to fill your void! While you are waiting and anticipating that right someone, present your requests to The Lord! He has promised to meet your needs! You cannot change anything that has happened but you can move forward! Work on strengthening and improving yourself... In the meantime begin to release any guilt or shame! So you can enter a new relationship fresh and with less baggage! You must be realistic and be wiling to grow along with this spouse you desire! Spend time with The Lord and allow Him to guide you in this area! Stay open to His leading and be patient! "And my GOD WILL meet ALL your needs according to HIS glorious riches in CHRIST JESUS" Philippians 4.

Right now you want to make sure that you find out more about this person that you want to commit to! You both need to share many facets of your lives with one another... Actually you should do this before you give yourself to someone anyway! It can be devastating when you find yourself committed to someone who is not committed to you! Too many become unequally yoked! They often hastily marry and find out after the fact that they are not on the same page about most things and share very few of the same values… This could prevent a lot of divorces if you posed certain questions before you say “I DO!" Don’t just hold out on sex to entrap someone… This is a part of divorce proofing your marriage and building a firmer foundation! A high quality marriage is built on much more than just physical attraction! After all you will have the rest of your life to learn how to physically enjoy one another… Your lovemaking will progressively reflect the extent of your desire ro mutually satisfy one another... Once married and "bone of my bone..." together you can have spectacular physical intimacy together as you freely give yourself to one another! WOW! You also honor your marriage vows!

You will need to take some time and have a “spiritual cleansing” if you have been physical outside of marriage!” Together out of respect for the Lord seek His face and ask Him to bestow His Blessings upon your marriage! Start anew! “Having sex outside of marriage is like fire outside of the fireplace! It can burn your house down! "But if we walk in The LIGHT, as HE is in The LIGHT, we have FELLOWSHIP with one another, and The BLOOD of JESUS HIS SON PURIFIES us from ALL sin..." I JOHN 1. There is WONDER working POWER in The BLOOD of JESUS! He CAN transform your life and BLESS your marriage! When you are married it's different you have entered a covenant agreement! It is important to honor your vows!! The WORD teaches us that the “Marriage Bed is undefiled!” HEBREWS 13. So freshen up, take a bath or shower and ENJOY one another! Marriage is honorable in the eyes of The LORD!

Sin is rampart throughout this world! It also separates us from God! As we grow in His Grace we should sin less.... The world says it doesn’t matter if you are married or not? You can choose to marry whomever you want; male or female? Those of us who believe in “Marriage God’s Way” are becoming fewer and fewer! The world is desensitizing many more to God’s Design for Marriage and seducing them to compromise in order to be accepted! It is important to know that the spiritual warfare wants to continually separate us all from God our Creator & Maker and His purpose He created each of us for! Marriage between man and woman is considered to be “Holy Matrimony” in the eyes of God! To many marriage is no longer sacred or holy!

Now look! Think about it! It is not by coincidence that marriages and families are breaking up left and right! Splitting and splitting again and again… There has been a significant shift in values... As I mentioned earlier currently an excess of 55% of marriages end in divorce! What’s the problem? Many are bailing out because they want to try something different… Many have married without really getting to know the person they have married! Please do not get involved with someone on the rebound! The statistics are even higher for second and third marriages! No wonder the world at large is experiencing so many natural catastrophes and economic trade devastation this world is going backwards…

Having affairs has become glamorized and many are continually lowering their standards and have been seduced and don’t even know it! Having sex is no big deal... Hollywood has now become the standard model for marriage for many. For many its all about the ceremony! It is possible that you are considered old fashioned and somewhat narrow minded when you do not go with the current flow! There is nothing prudish or outdated about loyalty & committment! Be committed to what you know is right even if it means for a season you must stand alone! Work on becoming the best you! Giving yourself to someone is a precious gift!

The residuals of the last Recession remains as a lingering indication that the world is going backwards! Yes we have been there before! All the signs became apparent again! The United States of America was even "SHUT DOWN!" WOW! New era same relational and political dynamics! Many are restless, tired, lonely, depressed, dissatisfied, discontented, empty, angry and seeking fulfillment in life! Looking in all the wrong places…What has been will be again, what has been done will be done again, There is nothing new under the sun...” Ecclesiastes 1. We can learn a lot from The Word of God! Right before the flood everyone was doing what was “right in their own eyes!” They too did not want to do things God’s Way! You listen to the news and everyone else so please take some time and personally ponder upon what God says about marriage! After all He is The Creator of marriage! He also created us! So why not check out His Word! Don’ just take second hand information when making such serious decisions! Here you can discover who really is the true source of life and living! Believe it or not God is The Creator of man and woman and I think He knows what is best for us! He sees way down the road! God is amazing! As a matter of fact He sees everyone, everything, everywhere past, present and future!

Build healthy personal boundaries and respect your marriage vows as well as the marriages of others! If you are not sure please don’t make the commitment… If you are married, it is not too late to make it a point to nurture and water your marriage with love, caring, peace, commitment, tenderness, loyalty, fun, respect, understanding and yes excitement! When you sincerely pray together, embrace godly principles you can stay together! Invite God into the center of your Marriage! Together you can give your marriage an overhaul if needed! You have the POWER together to design and write your own script, then proceed to make it happen… "Happily ever after is a choice!" You can’t help but see that way too many marriages are in trouble! Too many marriages and families are breaking up… Make your marriage a top priority! “What GOD has joined together let NO man or woman put asunder…” So please; THINK Before Sex Outside of Marriage!


Comments 44 comments

Moon Daisy profile image

Moon Daisy 5 years ago from London

Lovely photo.

DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago Author

Moon Daisy, Thank You! Peace & Blessings!

Gypsy Willow profile image

Gypsy Willow 5 years ago from Lake Tahoe Nevada USA , Wales UK and Taupo New Zealand

Wise advice.

Cari Jean profile image

Cari Jean 5 years ago from Bismarck, ND

This is such an important message for all to hear - esp. teens, young adults, singles and even married couples. Unfortunately in today's society it is also a very unpopular message. BUT it still happens, there are those couples who do actually wait until they are married to have sex and when I know of such couples, it is so refreshing and gives such hope!

DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago Author

Gyspy Willow, Thank You for stopping by to share! Please come again! Peace & Blessings!

abbaelijah profile image

abbaelijah 5 years ago from Nigeria

This genration youths are so sexually active that the pharse 'think before you have sex' is secondary

Kristeen profile image

Kristeen 5 years ago from Michigan

This is great advice DeBorrah and lines up perfectly with God's Word. God does answer prayer and no matter what temptations are before us whether it be sex before marriage or an affair, or even just misunderstandings between a man and wife, through prayer He will help us overcome any temptation and make decisions and choices that honor Him. A great hub and something we all need to hear and be reminded of. "Marriage should be honored by all" Blessings to you.

Vladimir Uhri profile image

Vladimir Uhri 5 years ago from HubPages, FB

awesome piece of work. Thanks.

cristina327 profile image

cristina327 5 years ago from Manila

EXcellent hub voted up and useful. This hub presents timely and godly principles on relationship between a man and a woman. These are great prinsiples to live by. The principles presented in the Bible regarding man and woman relationship will remain timeless principles and will never be outdated by the modern era. They are the greatest guidance to love and marriage. Thank you for sharing these timeless truths here at Hubpages. I wish you a blessed day today DeBorrah. May you continue to write for God's glory. Your presence here at Hubpages has been a blessing to many. Best regards.

pabeti profile image

pabeti 5 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

These are some of the words that people shun.Continue speaking for one day this generation will change.Its true every act has a consequence and you reap what you sow.

BkCreative profile image

BkCreative 5 years ago from Brooklyn, New York City

And then we would not have the 42 million problems we now have. The unwanted/unloved babies, spread of disease, lack of trust and on and on. It is still worth speaking about. Sometimes a few actually listen.

Thanks as always!


DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago Author

Cari Jean, Thank You! I realize that this is not a popular message! But if only one person or couple is helped it is worth it! We have some serious things going on in this world … I truly BELIEVE that allowing GOD HIS place in our lives is the answer! He created us and knows what is best! What has happened cannot be changed but one can always build a better future…. We all can improve; and as long as we are on this side of Heaven it is to learn and grow…. We CAN ALWAYS have HOPE in The LORD!

Thank you for stopping by to share! In HIS Love, Grace, Joy, Peace & Blessings! GOD BLESS YOU!

mikeq107 5 years ago

Great hub ...keep it up :0)

Mike :0)

DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago Author

abbaelijah, Thank you for sharing your opinion. But I believe that thinking before having sex outside of marriage is not a secondary “pharse” as you say? Not all young people are having sex. Because so many are is why we need to let them know what God has to say… Those that choose to need to know that there is something much more deeper taking place. I pray that they will stop giving themselves away…

As you stated in one of your hubs “The Power of the spoken Word”:“Faith is always expressed in words. The words that you speak – not just on Sunday, in the church or when you pray, but the words you speak in your every day life, at home, to your children, with your friends, and on your job, in the office or in the market or your business are determines what you have in life“

The Word of GOD is ALIVE! He intends for us to embrace and live out His principles in our lives. What is so beautiful about The LORD is He allows each of us to choose but there are consequences… No matter who you may be it is important to know that He does not condone or sanction sex outside of marriage.

Thank you for stopping by to share! In HIS Love, Grace, Joy, Peace & Blessings! GOD BLESS YOU!

DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago Author

Kristeen, Thank You! I appreciate your insight here because I KNOW that you value The Lord’s Principles for life and living! I also know you know the importance of openly discussing the pitfalls of having sex outside of marriage... If only a few are helped it is well worth it! And YES! God truly does answer our Prayers! We HONOR The LORD when we honor our Marriages!

Thank you for stopping by to share your insight In HIS Love, Grace, Joy, Peace & Blessings ! GOD BLESS YOU!

DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago Author

Vladimir, Thank You brother! You are so welcome! God Bless you! In HIS Love, Grace, Joy, Peace & Blessings!

doinglifewithgod 5 years ago

DeBorrah this has to be the most informative best written article I have seen on this subject. Our church teaches and preaches this message all the time, so I've read lots of stuff on it. Awesome, well done. Let's pray many others choose to read it. Voted up and useful.

DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago Author

Cristina, Thank You for sharing your insight and words of encouragement! As you well stated: “The principles presented in the Bible regarding man and woman relationship will remain timeless principles and will never be outdated by the modern era. They are the greatest guidance to love and marriage.” AMEN! & AMEN!! The WORD of GOD has much wisdom to help us build Great Marriages! We just have to take the time to spend time in The Word and apply His principles! Let's continue to share God's Design for Marriage! Great Marriages are still possible!

As always Thank You for stopping by, In HIS Love, Grace, Joy, Peace & Blessings! God Bless You!

stars439 profile image

stars439 5 years ago from Louisiana, The Magnolia and Pelican State.

Dear Mr.s Deborrah : This is a wonderful educational Christian message in great length concerning how we should respect our bodies. This is wonderful , and everything you say is so important. God Bless you dear heart, and the world is a better place because of wonderful angels like you for keeping the young, and elders well informed. God Bless you, and your precious loved ones in the loving arms of our Heavenly Lord.

DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago Author

Pabeti, Thank You! You are quite right and I am aware this will not be received by the masses! We are living in some interesting times! If only a few are enlightened it is well worth it! Thank you for stopping by to share and please do come again! Peace & Blessings! GOD BLESS YOU!

DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago Author

BkCreative, Thanks for your input! There is so much going on in this 21st century! Although unpopular it is important that we share God's perspective...

Carolyn Thank you for stopping by to share, In HIS Love, Grace, Joy, Peace & Blessings!

DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago Author

Mikeq107, Thank You! Peace & Blessings!

DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago Author

DoinglifewithGod! THANK YOU! Your name in itself says a lot! I am so glad that you enjoyed this! We are on one accord here! How wonderful that your place of worship openly discusses this subject if only a few get on board it is still well worth it! There is much out there to undermine God’s principles for life and living! The world at large will not get better but we as The Body of Christ; His Church must continue to share The Word! God really has a better way… Yes! Yes! Let’s continue to PRAY! Having God in our lives truly does make a difference! Thank you for stopping by to share and please do come again! In HIS Love, Grace, Joy, Peace & Blessings! God Bless You!

DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago Author

Stars, The Word of God is Powerful! Once we accept Jesus Christ into our hearts it is supposed to be the beginning of a new way of life & living! We must daily as well as throughout the day invite the infilling Presence of His Holy Spirit into our lives! He is the Internal Spiritual Teacher to lead guide and protect us from the influences of the world! What is so BEAUTIFUL about The LORD He gives us the free will to choose His Way or the way of the world... May His Presence & Peace be with you today!

Your expressions are always welcomed here! Thank you for stopping by to share! In HIS Love, Grace, Joy, Peace & Blessings! God Bless You & Yours!

no body profile image

no body 5 years ago from Rochester, New York

Marriage is a picture of the relationship in salvation. I just wrote a poem about this very thing. When one joins their bodies in sex with another person other than their mate it is an abomination. When Israel began worshipping idols God called the nation a whore. She "joined" with them and became "one" with them. Sex is more than just a physical release, as the world would have us believe. It is a unifying and oneness, becoming one with each other. It creates a sort of curse when one joins with another because marriage (including sex) is a spiritual thing. Wonderful article DeB. God bless you, Bob.

DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago Author

Nobody, Thank you for stopping by to share your insight! I think it is important that we encourage others to think on a deeper level when considering "sex outside of marriage!" Bob, I agree as you stated that "Sex is more than a physical release as the world would have us believe...!" Amen!

In HIS Love, Grace, Joy, Peace & Blessing! God Bless You!

thelyricwriter profile image

thelyricwriter 5 years ago from West Virginia

DeBorrah, very good article! This is a hard subject to cover. These days, I believe more and more teens are experiencing with sex at much earlier ages then in the past. It has almost become a trend and the cost is devestating when babies are brought into this world by a 13 year old girl. Most guys are always going to go after the girl. Many times, constant presure leads to eventually the girl having sex. As parents, we have to talk to our children. Love is special and making love is sacred. This article comes at a good time. The world is changing. Well said and voted up, useful, and interesting.

DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago Author

thelyricwriter, Thank you! I am glad that this was helpful! You have made some very good points! Yes! Teens are under a lot of peer pressure! It does not really help them much since there is a growing encouragement of sex earlier and earlier… Not really taking into consideration the emotional problems that can occur when one engages in sexual intercourse at such an early age! There is something much deeper going on … I think the video sheds another dimension that is not often explored!

You are so right about our “world changing!” We need to keep the lines of communication open with this generation of teens. They could use more positive role models! It would help greatly if the adults exercised more discipline as well… As you stated: "Love is sacred!" Thank you for stopping by to share, Please do come again! In His Love, Grace, Joy, Peace & Blessings!

Lady_E profile image

Lady_E 5 years ago from London, UK

A very important message that not many people address these days. It's got to the point where people think that it's stupid to wait for Marriage.

It has affected our Society now - So many teenage pregancies, which then had a knock-on effect because not all the kids are being given a good foundation, as they are not looked after properly.... not to talk of the spiritual implications.

It's good you wrote this. I learnt a lot from it too.

Regards, Elena.

DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago Author

Lady E, You are quite right! Many do think that "it's stupid to wait...!" Sex goes a lot deeper than it appears. There is a bonding that takes place... You actually do give a part of yourself away. This is why it gets so complicated outside the boundaries of marriage. How intersesting that when you wait; it is called "Saving Yourself!"

I so agree! Again, as you say "It has affected our Society now..." Many still do not want to take the time to listen to teens they just want to give them "birth control" not taking into considseration that they are not emotionally ready to deal with everything that comes along with it... They really need to feel a sense of belonging and closeness... How interesting when it is clear many adults do not responsibly deal with sex nor begin to address the spiritual aspect of it... I think the video at the end really explains the importance of really thinking about sex on a much deeper level!

Thank you for sharing, Your comments are most appreciated and provoke thought! I think that they will be helpful to many others!

In HIS Love, Grace, Joy, Peace & Blessings! GOD BLESS YOU!

PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 5 years ago from Portland, Oregon

Deborrah, I grew up believing you shouldn't have sex outside of marriage. I was told that's what the Bible taught. In reality, it doesn't. It's actually a part of the Jewish tradition of the old testament and and wasn't even taught by the Christian church until medieval times. The Bible condemns specific sex acts, but never sex outside of marriage. I was a virgin when I married my first wife, and we had a horrible sex life. Totally incompatible. My wife now would have the exact same story. I had no basis of comparison because I had never had sex with someone before. it was just not right. My wife now, we were very sexually active before we got married, and we are just as, if not more, active now.

Sex is a big deal. It's important. It shouldn't be taken lightly, and if you're not prepared for the consequences, physical and otherwise, then don't do it. But, I firmly believe the churches teaching on "premarital sex" is a big part of the high divorce rate in churches (it's actually higher inside the church then out) and it's because sex is such an important part of marriage. The idea that if you're a virgin when you get married that you don't have problems sexually when you're married is absolutely ludicrous.

I appreciate your hub and your conviction and well thought out points. I just don't buy your conclusion.

DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago Author

PDXKaraokeGuy, I have a question? What do you think the Bible teaches about fornication and adultery?

PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 5 years ago from Portland, Oregon


I’m glad you asked that question. First, I probably need to rephrase my initial statement. I believe adultery is wrong and the Bible teaches it’s wrong. It names it. Fornication, that’s a curious one.

I did a word study on fornication a few years ago. Believe it or not, I want to do what the Bible says but, more than that, I want the Bible to be taught accurately. I don’t want anything added to it or taken away from it. I imagine anyone with a heart for the Word of God would also feel the same way. The curious thing I found about the word fornication is that it is usually defined in terms or “immorality”. I decided that to understand what fornication actually means, I needed to understand what immorality meant. Turns out, immorality was always defined as “fornication”. Sounds like a catch 22.

Truth is, you will not find a definition of fornication in the Bible. You will also not find a passage that specifically condemns sex when you are not married (lots of verses on lust, but what exactly is lust and is it wrong? If I want to make love to my wife, am I not lusting after her? Just saying, these words go deeper than many people care to admit) unless it’s with an animal or a member of the same sex. The Bible condemns these practices regardless of marital status.

Bear in mind, marriage is also cultural. I, for one, have always found it silly that if you have sex with your fiancee an hour before your wedding that the church would say you were in sin, but, when a man, by the power of the state declares you married an hour later, the church is okay with it. Historically, the biblical idea of marriage varies greatly from our thoughts about it today.

So, what does the word Fornication actually mean? I believe that it has been mistranslated in modern English bibles, and other scholars back me up. “In modern English, fornication typically refers to voluntary sexual intercourse between persons not married to each other. Given that modern definition, a verse that condemns fornication (such as 1 Corinthians 6:9 which is often cited by various denominations as biblical opposition to pre-marital sex) would appear to be clear. However, in the New Testament, fornication is the word used to translate the Koine Greek word porneia into English. In Ancient Greek, the word porneia meant "illicit sex" or "illegal sex". Early Christians interpreted this word to encompass activities such as: adultery, incest, and bestiality.”

You can also view that information here: and numerous other places.

The church itself didn’t officially teach that sex between two unmarried people was sinful until the 13th century and this was only to increase the church coffers by way of indulgences, not because of any real sense of piety.

The point is, I’m a real life example-- and I could easily bombard your e mail with others-- that the what the church (notice, I did not say Bible. Today’s church is so apostate from the Bible it’s not even funny) teaches about sex is patently wrong and destructive.

I know your heart is the in the right place and I truly admire your conviction, but, I believe your interpretation of scripture on the issue of sex is wrong.

You’re a great, godly woman and a good Bible teacher and I appreciate you allowing me to have this forum to share my thoughts. I know you don’t know me well, but please know my heart is to serve God and see His Word taught correctly.

Blessings to you!

DeBorrah K. Ogans profile image

DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago Author

PDXKaroakeguy, “Then The Lord God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man. The man said “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called woman for she was taken out of man.” For THIS REASON a man shall leave his father and his mother and be UNITED WITH HIS WIFE and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2. This Scripture merits much meditation to understand the depth of what is happening here.

The Lord wants us joined together in “HOLY MATRIMONY” as husband & wife in order to be properly joined as one flesh…

Many have been hoodwinked to think that having sex is just about getting your physical needs meet…. That it is really no big deal... There is much more happening: you become one with that person! One man & one woman is God’s design… This is why “the marriage bed is undefiled” in the eyes of God! “Marriage should be honored by ALL and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and ALL the sexually immoral….” The marriage bed is the ONLY place that GOD sanctions sexual intercourse. Marriage is a living symbol of Christ and His Church!

It was Noah his wife and his sons and their wives that were spared in the Ark to repopulate the earth again after the flood! Not unmarried people. God is gracious and kind and does not force His ways upon us. He allows us to choose! Promiscuity, fornication, adultery, homosexuality and any other sex outside of marriage is not sanctioned by God! “Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well…” Proverbs 5. Man encourages sex outside of marriage. God sanctifies sex within marriage. “FLEE sexual immorality. ALL sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body…“ I Corinthians 6. This scripture really does teach us the seriousness of sexual sins….

Oneness is DEEP it means that you are “united as one…. “ I think that it is spiritually dangerous to encourage sex outside the boundaries of marriage. The Word teaches us that your body is a temple! It teaches us healthy boundaries in which a husband and wife can have sexual intercourse… In response to your original statement: YES! It is possible to have a sexually fulfilling marriage when you have not had sex with someone else! Both spouses must be willing to sincerely make it s goal to fully give one self to the other and discover together how to become physically satisfied!

I know without doubt that this is so! I pray that The LORD continues to open your heart to HIS WILL & HIS WAY in this area. May He Bless the union of your marriage that you remain committed to one another...

In HIS Love Grace, Joy, Peace & Blessings!

PDXKaraokeGuy profile image

PDXKaraokeGuy 5 years ago from Portland, Oregon

Thank you for your response, Deborrah. I appreciate you getting back to me. Growing up in the church, I've heard those verses and the interpretations of those verses. I agree that sex should not be taken lightly and I also agree that people can be fulfilled sexually and be with only one person, but, that was not the case for me. I also agree with you that sex is a spiritual act as well as a physical one. I am in no way saying sex should be taken lightly.

The issue I have, and that you did not address is the definition of sexual immorality. if you can find me a verse that says that sexual immorality is an unmarried person having sex with another unmarried person, then i will buy into it. Such a verse does not exist thus we are left only with the interpretation of sexual immorality, since the only sexual acts specifically mentioned int he bible are bestiality, adultery, homosexuality and, of course "Sexual immorality". Immorality, of course, is defined differently by different people and different cultures.

“FLEE sexual immorality. ALL sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body…“ I Corinthians 6

so, I ask again, how does the Bible define sexual immorality? You've only shown me that the bIble condemns sexual immorality, but you haven['t shown me where it defines it outside of the specific acts I've mentioned and we've agreed on.

“Drink water from your own cistern, running water from your own well…” Proverbs 5.

This is very obviously a reference to adultery. I agree with you that adultery is a sexual sin.

I'm frustrated that you're missing my point. You are basing your opinion on words that have been misinterpreted, or at least can be interpreted in multiple ways, as fact. The fact is, fornication has been misinterpreted in English bibles. You have no addressed this question.

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DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago Author

PDXKaraokeGuy I have addressed your answer but evidently not to your liking... The body is a Temple and the only sex that GOD sanctions is sexual intercourse within the confines of marriage! That in itself addresses that fornication is inclusive of sex outside of marriage… Immorality = what is contrary to moral principles; it is sinful. Sin is missing the mark of God’s standards. Immorality goes contrary to God’s Principles. Man’s standards of immorality continually changes to suit the flesh!...

I believe that your frustration is rooted in your desire to justify your point… I have the original Greek text as well as countless versions of the Bible which I study on a continuum.. My point is not based on my own opinion; but knowing, believing and trusting in the infallible WORD of GOD! I do not agree that Fornication has been misinterpreted!

My purpose in writing this article was to get others to "Think Before You Have Sex Outside of Marriage!"

Therefore I consider my task accomplished! Peace & Blessings!

George 5 years ago

I fall short when I try to live within the letter of what is written in the bible. I make progress and I'm set free when I live within the spirit of what is written in the bible. That's what the bible teaches me. Thanks for your interesting discussion.

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DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago Author

George, You are so welcome! All of us have fallen short of the WORD in one way or another...! The Lord does not want us to live in a legalistic manner... He wants us to continue to grow in His Grace. To become more and more disciplined... This is why we ALL need JESUS CHRIST as SAVIOR & LORD! The amazing thing about the LORD is He has given us HIS HOLY SPIRIT to help us live a spirit filled life! As we come into the knowledge of HIM and apply His principles to our lives, The TRUTH sets us FREE!

Thank you for stopping by to share your insight and olease do come again! Peace & Blessings!

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thieshajones 5 years ago from Savannah, Georgia

Very Very Interesting read. I find your words...words of wisdom. I beleive many people can and will relate to what you have written (even myself). I have been experiencing difficult times within my marriage, and have been looking for answers and I am a firm believer that God works in mysterious ways. Blog posts, television shows, the radio, a single word from a stranger, and even from HubPages! I finding your article was not just by simply performing a search on HubPages, but I found your article to hear what I needed to hear regarding what I am personally going through in my marriage.

I just would like to say thank you for sharing this and I look forward to reading more of your articles.

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DeBorrah K. Ogans 5 years ago Author

Thieshajones, I am so glad that you have received this in the spirit for which it was intended! We are forever growing and it helps to really look deeper into what is happening about us as far as sex is concerned…. As an adult you can elect to do however it is you please! But my motive here was to encourage others to “think!” What was created to be a beautiful expression between man and wife has become so cavalier…

I too believe that God works in mysterious ways and I trust that He will open the heart of those seeking to see things from a deeper perspective! He can revive, restore or help build a better meaningful intimate, loving sex life in a marriage. After all He created our bodies no need to be ashamed the scriptures tells us that “they were both naked and not ashamed” ( this was the case before they were deceived….”)

Thank You because for me you are confirmation! God Bless You! I pray that you both are able to work through whatever is going on and cleave to one another… IThank you for stopping by to share & Please do come again! I pray that 2011 becomes an exciting year for you and your husband… In HIS Love, Grace, Joy, Peace & Blessings!

Stephanie 4 years ago

This article is total garbage

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DeBorrah K. Ogans 4 years ago Author

Stephanie, You are entitled to your opinion, But I TOTALLY DISAGREE!

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rasta1 4 years ago from Jamaica

This information blew me away, especially the video. It al makes sense now. What about the male, do men integrate the genetics of the women?

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DeBorrah K. Ogans 4 years ago Author

Rasta, The video really is quite informative. DNA we know is integrated during fertilization... There is much here to ponder! Thank you for stopping by. Peace & Blessings!

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