Sexism Is it Really Something to Get Mad About?

sexism and equality
sexism and equality

Sexism. Its an ugly word isn't it? There's nothing worse than a bull headed boss who insists on saying something along the lines of 'This is not a job for a girl' or 'You want to get higher up the ladder? Then sit on the boss's knee' which was quoted this week on the news.

But what is Sexism and where does banter stop and abuse start? We all joke about when we are at work, whether its banter from the guys calling the women names, or vice versa. But if it starts to get slightly darker then when tend to know about it.

This is the time for the complaints to start.

But what about the media? And more importantly, what about our privacy? Say, in a private email, or Social Media?

Sexist or Just Plain Dumb?

Are you a sexist?
Are you a sexist?

Email Privacy.

Over here in Britain we have always taken insults with a pinch of salt. We know the guy that says it, we give back as good as we get and that's it, finished. If it gets out of hand then we face them down, and nine times out of ten they apologise. Lets face it, most of the time the guy or girl will only be joking, and even be totally mortified to think you would believe they were being serious.

But here's the thing. Ever since social media has began to stick its nose in our business everybody out there who hears about the so called insult decides that they should have an opinion.

And the trouble is, with something like banter, or so called sexism you can't tell by just reading an email or seeing it in black and white, what the person is really thinking.


And hey, who says you have the right to read someone else's private email? This happened recently on the News when the Premier League chief, Richard ­Scudamore made sexist remarks on a private email.

Evidently his private secretary had access to his emails for work. And so she went on and reported him, and now he is in deep doo doo!

Okay, he insulted women, he called old girlfriends really insulting names and more which I can't write here or get deleted!

But......!

Richard Scudamore Leave The Guy Alone!

Richard Scudamore
Richard Scudamore

Here's The Thing

When has our private life got to be so darn public? So what if he insulted women? It was a private joke email between him and a friend. Who the hell has the right to take his private words, and shout it out to the public so not only does the poor guy get into trouble he is suddenly inundated by millions of so called goodie goodies who call for his resignation?

Okay, you may think, what the hell? Why is she sticking up for him? Well, here's the thing. For a start its none of our damn business! And second unless he said this to someones face out loud what he says, thinks or writes is between him and the person he is writing too!

Surely someone snooping in your emails should be blasted for infringement of privacy?

So, what did the woman think who he insulted? She thought it was funny! She knows the guy and more importantly gets his humor!

And that's the point.

So Is This Sexist?

Sexist adverts
Sexist adverts

We All Do It!

There's not one person on this planet who has never insulted anyone and called them sexist names. it's a laugh, its a joke. If we know them.

So, back to that line. Should other people get involved? What was that P.A. trying to prove? That she was a good girl, showing up her boss? Or something more sinister?

Here's a thought. Maybe he made those remarks because he is a guy! We know what guys talk about, we may get offended but its human for goodness sake!

Us girls do it too! How many women get lambasted for it? Not many I hear you say!

Prude? Nosy? Waddya Think?

sexist or just a prude
sexist or just a prude

Political Correctness or Just Plain Old Prude?

Well I go for the prude! We are so quick to judge these days. What ever happened to humor? Equality comes in all shapes and forms and the best one of the lot is having a laugh at each other as long as we know that's what it is.

What next? Well Workmen did get told to stop whistling at girls! What? I loved guys whistling at me! It was a real confidence boost, and when I got older and they stopped whistling, well, I got kinda peeved if you must know! lol!

We women like attention, whether its a whistle, a joke, or even, yes guys, an insult! As long as its done it good humor.

So come on you prude faced sad old mares, shut up, stop nosing into other peoples emails and get on with your own lives. And don't post it all over social media just so other prude ass people can get involved too!

Just remember. As long as the work place is a fun humor filled great space to be in, then let it go for goodness sake!

We left the Victorian era over a hundred years ago. Don't bring it back! And while we are on the subject, No Big Brother is Watching You either!

Do We Really Want To Go Back To This?!

sexism against women
sexism against women

So, When Is It Sexism?

Would you believe it when I say some men actually do think women should be stuck in the kitchen? What's the saying? Oh yes......!

'A lady should be a Chef in the Kitchen, a Maid in the living room and a whore in the bedroom'!

Well not these days thank you very much! We are as intelligent as men, if not more so in some cases! So........


Now to balance up the issue!

Yes I do believe blatant sexism is wrong. For lack of argument and space on here lets just say its a guy doing all the insults.

If a man insists on getting in your space, constantly. Its wrong.

If he talks down to her, touches her inappropriately and continues to harass her to tears, then yes shout it out!

If a girl doesn't get promotion for a job purely because she is a girl, and the boss more or less admits this is the fact, then you should go straight to HR and report him.

No woman should take unwanted insults. No woman should be touched, talked about like a sexual object or 'teased' in front of her workmates.

We are all equal. And don't you forget it. We know the line, so tread it carefully. And that goes for women who do it to men too.

Simple as that.


'FIGHT FOR EQUALITY BUT DON'T LOSE YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR'

More by this Author


Comments 106 comments

billybuc profile image

billybuc 2 years ago from Olympia, WA

An interesting perspective, Nell, and one I agree with. I am so tired of political correctness. I don't know who said it, but a woman politician in America was talking about the Equal Rights Amendment, and she said she doesn't need a law to tell her what she already knows, that she is the equal of any man and always will be.

We all live in glass houses. It would do us all well to remember that the next time we point fingers.


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 2 years ago

Things get out of hand sometimes. I heard some man the other day sincerely tell a woman she looked nice in her new dress. She just gave him a look and walked away offended. He was taken back as he was just being nice. Although, not everyone has the same agenda - it's so crazy out there. Great post and makes you think, Nell.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi billy, yes I agree with you, political correctness is getting so stale these days, you can't do this, you can't say that and so on, but looking in someones email is just pushing it too far, glad you liked it, and thanks!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi teaches, oh that's just ridiculous isn't it? I would love it if a guy said that to me! we are losing our 'womanliness' if you like. There is nothing wrong with compliments, in fact I wish I had more thrown my way! lol! thanks as always, nell


HappyMikeWritter profile image

HappyMikeWritter 2 years ago

Nell, the amazing Nell! How you do your articles that always hit the right point soo greatly! A wonderful article and I hope it help to all woman as everyone should read it :-)


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 2 years ago from Orlando, FL

It takes a whole lot to get me mad...sexism isn't on my list because I already know that women rule the world and no one can ever change my mind :)


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi Mike, lol! well thank you so much! great to see you, and thanks for reading, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

LOL! hiya Linda! yep, we rule, we have the brains and well lets face it, the looks too! lol! thanks as always, and great to see you, nell


Radcliff profile image

Radcliff 2 years ago from Hudson, FL

So true. It seems we're all about equality--unless we want to make disparaging remarks about men. And those who have no sense of humor always look for the opportunity to be offended.


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 2 years ago from Texas

This is very well thought out and laid out. Great article to make one think about what they think, and how and when it is safe to express ourselves.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi Radcliff, yes we girls are just as bad aren't we? lol! some people just don't get the sense of humor! thanks as always, nell

Hi Cindy, thanks so much for reading, yes many people have a different view of what's funny don't they? thanks, nell


suzettenaples profile image

suzettenaples 2 years ago from Taos, NM

Great article Nell, and I agree with you wholeheartedly . I have had sextists remarks made to me by men but I give it right back and I can take care if myself, thank you very much! There does need to be a balance in things. Of course, we have our Dinald Sterling, recorded in a private conversation by his girlfriend and then the tape ' mysteriously' made it to the press and became public. But, his racist remarks are so egregious racist he is being forced to sell his basketball team.


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 2 years ago from South Africa

Of course, blatant sexism should not be tolerated. But also not secretaries stabbing their bosses or colleagues in the back with their private emails. They should indeed be blasted for infringement of privacy.

And typical of the Media, thriving on sensation, creating wars instead of peace....


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 2 years ago from The Beautiful South

The world is crazy and about all we need is someone snooping to find out who we really are! What we say in our own email and our own homes should not be open to public view and boy if the government could just read what I say about them for their infringements on my rights to privacy... well they wouldn't like it you can be sure.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi suzette, I don't know who Dinald sterling is, but he sounds like a generally nasty horrible person! I think racism is revolting, its what it is, unlike sexism which can be joking as long as both parties know that, thanks so much for reading, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Thats it exactly Martie, the trouble is as you say, the second the media gets hold of something it booms it straight out into something huge and someone gets the sack, its so not right, thanks for reading, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

lol! I can imagine Jackie! and that's the point isn't it? what we think, or write in private is for us and our friends to read, I would sue the pants of someone if they infringed on my privacy, i would take them on big time! lol! thanks as always, nell


FlourishAnyway profile image

FlourishAnyway 2 years ago from USA

He was an idiot to assume his email was private, especially since he probably knew the administrative employee had access to the emails as a part of her job. Nothing is private these days. (Donald Sterling proves that.) Besides, the recipient could have shared it with others via forwarding and he'd still be in the same place. People need to own their words, whatever medium they are expressed in.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi Flourish, yes that's so true. I think sometimes people, especially him, forget that there is no such thing as really private once you click on that computer, stupid man, but I do think the media takes it too far, thanks so much for reading, nell


B. Leekley profile image

B. Leekley 2 years ago from Kalamazoo, Michigan, USA

This hub seems to me a well balanced look at the topic. Up, Useful, and Interesting.

A significant factor is power. Sexist insult humor coming from a person with the power to fire or demote you at will is a more serious matter than if coming from a peer.


Sherry Hewins profile image

Sherry Hewins 2 years ago from Sierra Foothills, CA

It was between consenting adults, who had a reasonable expectation of privacy, so it's really nobody else's business. If it were said out loud in the workplace, then that would be a different matter. It's a great reminder though that email is not private, and work email is even less so.


Suzanne Day profile image

Suzanne Day 2 years ago from Melbourne, Victoria, Australia

I just treat men the same way they treat me. If he wants to be rude, aggressive and violent, then he can have a taste of his own medicine. Unfortunately there are many out there who think it's a turn on when they take their spoonful of sugar. Voted useful!


DDE profile image

DDE 2 years ago from Dubrovnik, Croatia

I still notice how most men think they are more intelligent than most women and don't think much of woman. It goes with culture and greed. Voted up!


MsDora profile image

MsDora 2 years ago from The Caribbean

I hear you, Nell, and I feel your passion. It's all about our right to privacy. A so-called sexist remark made in private does not necessarily make someone sexist; we've all said things we don't even want to repeat. Labeling others can have very serious consequences.


always exploring profile image

always exploring 2 years ago from Southern Illinois

Now tell me this, what woman in this whole wide world doesn't like to be whistled at? Lighten up and enjoy! I was driving and had to stop for a bridge repair job, two of the men whistled, i felt young and attractive for a fleeting moment. Hee..Freedom of speech is a good thing, unless, of course, you hurt someone with blatant lies. Great topic Nell..


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Thanks Sherry, yes that's so true, we should always remember to be careful with work emails, you just never know who's looking!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Thanks Suzanne, yes I agree with you, I remember one guy, a drunk, who was sitting on a seat outside a shop one day. he was insulting all the women, nobody said anything! till I got there....! my language was pretty bad and I threatened him, two guys came round the corner and asked if I was okay, I said yep, nothing I can't handle! lol!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

So true DDE luckily over here in England most men are fine with equality, well they better be! LOL! thanks, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Thanks MsDora, yes that's so true, we have all said things we regret, or just make a joke of, it shouldn't be made public, so many people these days feel the need to give their opinion, whatever happened to privacy?


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

So true Ruby, and look at you getting whistled at! lol! I wish someone would do that to me! thanks for reading, nell


bravewarrior profile image

bravewarrior 2 years ago from Central Florida

We all make remarks. Women are notorious for bashing the male species. What's said in private should be kept that way. What's said in jest should be regarded as such. The only difference is, if you put yourself in the public eye, there's no such thing as privacy. Mind your manners, keep your nose clean and stay under the radar!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi bravewarrior, yep, I totally agree with you, we all say it, but if you were famous surely you would learn to be a bit more careful? I don't think he should get into trouble though, but as they say, live and learn! lol! thanks for reading, nell


grand old lady profile image

grand old lady 2 years ago from Philippines

This is a very well presented hub. Yes, sexist jokes need a smaller space in any situation, preferably none. I like the way you ended your piece, when you said, "We are all equal. And don't you forget it. We know the line, so tread it carefully. And that goes for women who do it to men too"


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi grand old lady! thanks so much for reading, yes we should always treat each other with respect, and sexism does work both ways too, thanks, nell


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 2 years ago

Nell, I agree with you. I worked in broadcasting for 20 years and I’m proud to say that I was accepted as “one of the guys.” If I had taken offense at every flirt or sexist thing a man said to me, I wouldn’t have gotten where I did. I’m not saying a woman should sleep her way to the top, because I didn’t do that. I came back at the guys as good as they came at me, and I was liked and respected by them for it. Only one time in the 20 years did I ever slap a guy and tell him “not to ever do that again!” Later the boss found out about the incident and said that I should have reported it. I told him that it was okay now because I took care of it myself. If it were not for thick-skinned women like me who paved the way for women in media, little twits in 4-inch heels and sundresses wouldn’t be “gracing” our TV today.

I think getting into personal email and then reporting what you find is reprehensible. Leave the poor guy alone. British controversy over Richard Scudamore is kind of like our controversy here in the states over Donald Sterling. There is such a thing as privacy, although some people today think it is all right to cross the boundary. Good hub, Nell.


AliciaC profile image

AliciaC 2 years ago from British Columbia, Canada

This article is interesting and thought provoking, Nell. There's a fine line between friendly jokes and sexism, which you've described very well!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Thanks MizBejabbers that sounds like a fascinating job, where were you situated? and what program? Yes the best way to deal with it is face to face with the person doing the insulting, these days its so easy for people to scream sexism, what's wrong with them having a go back at the person? I know I would! thanks so much for reading, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Thanks Alicia, yes if people thought before they said something most of the time it wouldn't be said, I know all of us have opened our mouths and put our foot in it so to speak! lol! but its when it gets nasty that is sexism, thanks so much for reading, nell


travmaj profile image

travmaj 2 years ago from australia

Hi Nell, I certainly agree with you on this, you've made some valid interesting points that are most relevant. It seems though that privacy is gone forever and any individual can be judged on a moment of indiscretion. So where the hell do we go from here? Interesting that the insulted woman thought the remarks funny and knew his humour - it changes the story. Let's lighten up. Blatant sexism is to be abhorred but often it's just as you state. Thanks for this thought provoking piece. Voting


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi travmaj, great to see you, yes it seems to have gone completely overboard these days hasn't it? the trouble is we are only human, and one slip up can totally ruin a mans, or womans life, we should learn to sit back and stop getting involved in other peoples business, thanks so much, nell


Carter06 2 years ago

Good grief I'm glad you wrote this Nell.. of course we need to be aware when it gets out of hand & report any untoward & creepy language/ behavior but who gives someone the right to go public with someone's personal emails?? For good sake it's getting just a bit ridiculous these days..Cheers


Jackie Lynnley profile image

Jackie Lynnley 2 years ago from The Beautiful South

Had to swing by and see if you had seen Kate's butt yet! lol I am beginning to think that girl is an exi...well...a show off! haha


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

HI Carter, thanks for reading, I totally agree with you! these days its getting ridiculous isn't it? thanks, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

LOL! hi Jackie! I can't say I looked, but if she insists on wearing stuff that blows up in the wind then hey its her fault! but people do make a big deal about it in the media! thanks for the laugh!


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 2 years ago

Nell, (because you asked, I’ll post this I n a comment) After working in advertising agencies in West Texas, I got a divorce and moved back to my hometown in Arkansas and worked for a radio station there for three years as an advertising copywriter. I also worked in Little Rock (KXLR, KSSN, and the Arkansas Radio Network (ARN)) and at a station Joplin, Missouri. I didn’t just do a “program”. I had various board shifts (as we called being on the air) and I was an anchor-reporter for ARN and did a second stint at KXLR as their news director. I think that being one of the guys got me the coveted on-air shifts. The feminine females at the stations never went on the air, just the pushy broads like me. It really was a fine line to walk because one woman was disliked by the guys. She was really good, but she was too defensive and pushed back too hard. She and I were great friends, though.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi Miz, thanks for coming back, that sounds really interesting! it must be great to do something completely different from the boring old mainstream jobs like me, office, shop, etc, mind you my favorite was working in a record shop, got to meet a few of the old 70s groups while they were promoting. lol! love your pushy broads remark, yes sometimes even now we have to give a shove to those who think they can do it better, usually guys, so good for you!


savvydating profile image

savvydating 2 years ago

I have to agree that I get a bit perturbed with the whole email expose' thing. Give people some privacy for crying out loud. Who hasn't said something ridiculous about the opposite sex. The point is to determine whether these comments come from a place of rage or a place of humor. For example, I know a man who calls women "broads" but I have to admit that, coming from him, it's darn funny.

I'm jealous that in Britain, it's acceptable (or was) to give as good as you got. We don't do that in the U.S. workplace much, to my knowledge. My point is that women needn't be afraid to say something if she is dealing with a boss who clearly views her as a sexual conquest to be had. That is against the law and she doesn't have to be polite about putting this guy in his place--even if he is the boss. Believe me, he doesn't want his dirty laundry aired in HR.

So as you said, it depends upon the situation. This brings to mind Archie Bunker and Edith (All in the Family). Archie was sooo sexist, but he was downright hilarious.

Awesome & funny, Nell. You never fail to entertain and make us think at the same time.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Thanks savvy, yes over here we do tend to open our mouths and hit back so to speak! lol! but saying that it really all depends on the situation, if we know we can get away with it then we go for the jugular so to speak, but otherwise we take it to HR, as long as its equal, funny and said with humor then fine, and a definite no no to grassing on someones email! thanks for reading, nell


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 2 years ago from California

Well, when I was practicing law, there was no end to the amount of sexism I experienced--I once had opposing counsel throw documents at me across the table and ask me if I was going to whine to the judge about it because I wore a skirt--I had a boss tell me that I would have to choose between my job and being a parent--so I guess I still think sexism is rampant --my 2 cents


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hiya Audrey, Wow! what a load of, well, can't say it here! and yes I totally agree with you, sexism is still alive and well and being a pain in the butt! what is it with some men? they are still living in the past, but my opinion is that they are just plain jealous because they know you are more intelligent than them, and it gets their goat so to speak!


AudreyHowitt profile image

AudreyHowitt 2 years ago from California

Maybe--it really used to amaze me at how awful their behavior could be


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

I am sorry to hear it, we just have to learn how to give it back, or report it, thanks Audrey.


everythinghere 2 years ago

wow your hubs are absolutely incredible - keep up the amazing work Nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Thanks everything, and great to meet you!


cfin profile image

cfin 2 years ago from The World we live in

There will always be sexist people, just as there is racists. It stems from traumatic experiences, terrible education or bad upbringing. Great article Nell on a very interesting topic.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi cfin, thanks so much, yes you are so right! I remember one guy at work who just would not shut up! he got reported in the end, and just looked bewildered! thanks for reading, nell


Nadine May profile image

Nadine May 2 years ago from Cape Town, Western Cape, South Africa

If only we all learn from a young age that we must treat others the way we want to be treated. It was interesting to read your hub and also to read the comments. Well done.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Thanks so much Nadine, yes it would be amazing, glad you liked it, nell


Lady Guinevere profile image

Lady Guinevere 2 years ago from West Virginia

Oh I agree with you and also with Billybuc on this one. There is is beginning, at least over here in the states, too much talk about harassment and sexual misconduct. I think it is pushing the envelope a bit too far now. It seems that anyone can call sex charges on anyone now, even in fun or not Too many are crying wolf, or so you would think. It is getting harder for one to be themselves without someone say or lying about something and making it all up int eh name of sex.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi Deb, that is so true! its getting what I call silly stupid! can't say this, can't do that and so on, you would think these days that as we progress we would become more equal, and have a sense of humor! but no, its going back to the dark ages so to speak! thanks so much for reading, nell


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 2 years ago from southern USA

Private is private! There is a fine line, but I think all women know when it is true sexism or men just being men. I, too, loved it when I got whistles while walking down the street LOL ... Ah, the good ole' days hehe I do love it when my hubby has dinner ready when I walk through the door after a long hard day at work : )

Good one, Nell! Up and more and away

Hope you have enjoyed a lovely Sunday


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi Faith, thanks, it was a great weekend, yes we women know the difference between sexism and fun, a lot of the trouble I have noticed is that many people who yell sexism, are young foreign girls who are working here, they don't get the humor so yell to the world that its sexist, I say learn our humor! lol! thanks Faith, nell


Ann1Az2 profile image

Ann1Az2 2 years ago from Orange, Texas

I used to have a boss years ago when I was young and slender who always introduced me as his sexytary. It's funny, I always thought of it as a compliment - sometimes he said it in front of his wife. It was all in fun. Today, it would be considered taboo.

You're right - we can't lose our sense of humor. There are too many Pollyannas out there!


Lady Guinevere profile image

Lady Guinevere 2 years ago from West Virginia

Ann1Az2 I agree with you.

I also liked the gentle pat on the behind, but oooohhh today that would be sexual harassment and would put the guy behind bars and ruin his life.

A wink would build self esteem or make a women feel good, but that would also be considered sex harassment.

I see a large push to divide the sexes more today than ever. It is not looking good out here anymore.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi Ann, yes I know what you mean, it was adult fun, we were adults and there was no problem back then what the heck has happened? amazing isn't it, we think sexism should be reported, but we are going back to the dark ages! thanks for reading, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi Deb, that's it exactly! I think its more about diversity in cultures, the more we mix over here the more we have to pander to their sensibilities, no longer can we have our good old british humor, same over there I would imagine! thanks for reading, nell


Lady Guinevere profile image

Lady Guinevere 2 years ago from West Virginia

I shared this too on a couple of FB groups.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Aw thanks Deb!


midget38 profile image

midget38 2 years ago from Singapore

All is fair in love and war, Nell! Well said, and shared!


jainismus profile image

jainismus 2 years ago from Pune, India

Is it possible to live a married life without sexual desires?


Harishprasad profile image

Harishprasad 2 years ago from India

This hub is really an intelligent assessment of healthy interaction between males and females in work place. Nell, you are so candid about the stuff that both genders think and talk in private and nobody has any right to rob them of the mirth and humor involved in it. What one talks and how one talks makes it amply clear if there is obscenity or humor. And yes, human leeches are despicable, as always.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

lol! Thanks Michelle, yes that's so true, nell

Hi jainismus, no probably not, we all have those desires, but they are best kept in the marriage I believe, thanks so much for reading, nell

Hi Harish, thanks so much for reading, yes if its done in humor then its fine, its when its done in harm that's what starts the trouble, thanks, nell


K. Burns Darling profile image

K. Burns Darling 2 years ago from Orange County, California

Hi Nell, I happen to agree with you, in many instances, we have taken it way too far! We no longer know when a joke is a joke, and we have become almost hypersensitive! Great hub about a timely and interesting subject. Voted up and interesting.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi K, thanks so much, yes where the heck has our sense of humor gone? We always joked around like this way back when, we need to lighten up, and not take rubbish, but know when its a joke and not being horrible, thanks so much for reading, nell


Au fait profile image

Au fait 2 years ago from North Texas

Men still have the upper hand in our world and if they are thinking ugly things about women in general privately, then it is a part of their attitude towards women generally. If they are in a position to hire or fire or affect a woman's life permanently, they are likely to let their ugly attitude shine through in little 'tactful' ways. The way to end sexism is by facing it head on and not saying this little remark or that little gesture or behavior is so small, we should just forget about it. After all, everyone does it.

Everyone (most everyone) thought slavery was acceptable and unless it had been faced head on it would be with us today. The fact that 'everyone' is oppressing a certain group doesn't make it right.

Words matter. Research proves again and again that young girls won't even try certain things because of the general attitude that girls aren't good at this, shouldn't be doing that, etc. Math is a good example. Many girls are very good at math if parents can keep them from discovering that girls aren't supposed to be good at math.

Even the things we think are jokes have an effect on our psyche and that is why we shouldn't ever say bad things about ourselves even joking.

Not saying there shouldn't be criticism where criticism is due, but stereotyping all women a certain way hurts us all. It's incredible to me how many women live with sexism everyday and think it's normal and the way things were meant to be -- because they've never known anything different. Lots of people make sexist remarks and they don't even realize they're doing it because they have grown up believing it is acceptable.

Women are frequently criticized for doing exactly what is heralded as desirable when men do it. Lots of managers still won't even consider a woman for certain jobs. We aren't all alike. Some women hate getting dirty while others could not care less about it and work harder and smarter than most men in what are still considered men's jobs.

Every time sexism is ignored or executed even presumably as a joke, it reinforces the stereotypes and hurts women.

Men sometimes face discrimination, but mostly it's women of all colors.

Interesting subject to bring up at a time when maybe we should be taking inventory of whether women have really gone a long way baby or not. Voted up and shared.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Thanks au fait, great points! yes its so true that women are so used to being picked on that they just don't see it when it happens! I for one never put up with it, and give a scathing remark back, but that's just me! women in general do have a go back but the damage is done by then, thanks again, nell


mary615 profile image

mary615 2 years ago from Florida

I have to say, when I was in the work world (and that was for a long time), I never experienced any harassment from my fellow male workers. I was always treated like a lady. Sometimes in greeting one another, we would give each other a hug. Nothing was ever thought bad about that. Now a days, it would be different!

Voted UP, etc. and shared.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi mary, yes that's so true! these days everybody has to be so darn careful! and that's just not right, we have to be spontaneous, we are an affectionate lot, so its horrible to think that people take stuff the wrong way these days, thanks so much as always, nell


cecileportilla profile image

cecileportilla 2 years ago from West Orange, New Jersey

Great article Nell Rose. Women have come a long way in the fight against sexism. We have a lot more work to do. We need to continue to demand equality and insist on those promotions and not tolerate sexist insults. Voted up!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi cecile, that's so true, unless we keep fighting them they will keep us in low paying jobs, or never allow us up that ladder, thanks so much for reading, nell


aviannovice profile image

aviannovice 2 years ago from Stillwater, OK

Most of the time it is in good humor. However, imagine the boss that does it to his own people. I could go into many details, but won't. Let's just suffice it to say that he is another location's problem now...


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi Deb, yes I had a boss like that too, sorry to hear that, thanks so much for reading, nell


Pamela99 profile image

Pamela99 2 years ago from United States

This is a very timely hub and I agree with you completely. I am so sick of political correctness and why can't people have privacy? I do think women have come along way, but they are still underpaid for doing the same job as a man quite often. Awesome hub!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi Pamela, yes political correctness drives me insane too! for a start its not correct! to one sided if you ask me, but yes being underpaid for the same job is wrong, and that definitely needs to be sorted out, thanks so much for reading, nell


Anita Saran profile image

Anita Saran 2 years ago from Bangalore, India

Very nice hub, Nell. I never suffered on the job here in India because of sexism. In fact so many ad agencies have more women than men. However, I have been cheated royally by men while building my new home - which I did all by myself.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Sorry to hear that Anita, glad you have never suffered sexism but building your home and getting conned is not good. It happens over here too, nell


Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

Glimmer Twin Fan 2 years ago

I think some people take political correctness far too seriously and can't take a joke. However, there is a line, but I guess everyone has a different one. My line about sexism if pretty liberal and I like a good sexist joke (at the right place and time).


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Yes me too Glimmer, I think people take it too seriously sometimes, but there is a fine line too, and sometimes its difficult to see where it is, thanks so much for reading, nell


Jeannieinabottle profile image

Jeannieinabottle 2 years ago from Baltimore, MD

In general, people are just overly sensitive now. I am a feminist, but I can also take a joke. As long as I don't lose the opportunity to get a job just because I am a female, I have a pretty good sense of humor about things. People need to just calm down a little and pay women as well as they pay men, and all will be well. Interesting hub and voted up!


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi Jeannie, I totally agree with you, there is a fine line between being over sensitive and just having a laugh, and yes that pay! what's that about? women should always get the same pay, I would love to see that, wouldn't you?


Meg Moon profile image

Meg Moon 2 years ago from United Kingdom

Sexism is about more than unequal pay. A major concern is the amount of women who are victims of sexual violence and how sexual violence against women is often glamorised on TV and online. I think jokes of this nature are never OK.


Pawpawwrites profile image

Pawpawwrites 2 years ago from Kansas

When I was in the works force, we liked to joke around, but you have to know when people don't like it, and act accordingly. Some people just aren't very good at reading other people.

I had a boss, who lost his job by saying something totally inappropriate.......twice. He deserved what he got. I've also seen people get in trouble, when for most of us, it seemed not that big a deal. Hard to make a call in some situations.

On the job, it is better to be cautious, unless you just like looking for work.


SANJAY LAKHANPAL profile image

SANJAY LAKHANPAL 2 years ago from Mandi (HP) India

You mentioned that the women in Britain are little outspoken and bold than the rest of their counterparts in the world. The women universally like attention, whether its a whistle, a joke, or even, yes guys, an insult! As long as its done in good humor. ( Your hub)

But the general condition of women is pathetic in the world, especially the third world. They are exploited, raped, tortured and killed even in the womb, called female foeticide.

Mostly the women are born with a destiny to be a Chef in the Kitchen, a Maid in the living room and a whore in the bedroom'!

We claim ourselves to be civilized, but in reality we are still animals, as found in the Discovery channel, fighting, bullying and eating each other.

On the same channel, I saw a species of apes, the male members of which fight for the supremacy in the group, and the winner becomes the owner of all the females in the group.

The universal instinct of polygamy with a tinge of polyandry, is the main cause of Sexism.

It is an innate psychological problem which needs treatment. But how the entire society could be treated, and who will treat.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Nell my dear liberated and down-to-earth friend. Bravo! I love this article.

I need to go back more than 20 years to relate this little tid bit. I traveled to The State Assembly for an Informational Seminar, with 3 other females (who unbeknownst to me were die-hard Feminists...armed and dangerous..LOL).....

When we parked and got out of the car, I spoke to the first person available, asking him where the entrance to the assembly hall was. He politely answered me as he addressed me as, "Honey." I thought absolutely NOTHING of this.

As we walked away, these women asked me why I was not "insulted and appalled" that this little OLD man called me, "Honey." They went on to squawk about how demeaning and sexist it was. Well Nell, I'm sure you can guess what Ole Effer had to say. I stopped dead in my tracks and just looked these women in their beady eyes and said, (in my usual sweet, soft manner?) "Look, you ladies need to calm it down a notch or two and put away your sharp objects destined for the throats of anything vaguely resembling a man. That man was old enough to be my grandfather, sweet, respectful and polite. He wasn't even frothing at the mouth. There's not a single rational reason I would take offense, nor should any of YOU!"

I did not make any female friends that day. Some things are simply too extreme to even laugh at!..........Up++++pinned & tweeted.


MizBejabbers profile image

MizBejabbers 2 years ago

Nell, I have to say that they're fallin' like flies! We just had another coach resign (soccer) because he made a comment that a female player's mother was more curvy than the player and that he would have to remember when the next parents' night was so he could be sure and be there. This was a private conversation, but it was picked up in an open mike. Nowadays, our free speech is impeded because we never know when someone will have an "open mike" or a recorder around. While these are boorish comments, this is really getting to be a serious matter of privacy and free speech.


Les Trois Chenes profile image

Les Trois Chenes 2 years ago from Videix, Limousin, South West France

Sexism is serious. It means that women and girls lose out on freedom, cash, careers and get landed with care, housework and a load more. I'm sorry to say that over the last 40 years while some things have improved (equal pay is better, we don't have to get our husbands to sign if we want to buy a fridge) but the streets are scary, the internet is worse and abuse seems to be going through the roof.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi Meg, thanks for your opinion, yes it seems these days its getting worse instead of better, what the heck is happening to the world? nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi Pawpaw, yes that's so true, some people totally 'get it' and others will jump straight away, I have also seen it at work and stood and cringed at the outcome, thanks so much for reading, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi Sanjay, that is terrible that's happening in the third world countries, and yes I totally agree with you, we claim to be civilized and luckily over here its not too bad, but there is definitely a long way to go, thanks so much for reading, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi Paula, lol! yes some people just jump at the first 'insult' don't they? I love it when a guy says honey, ma'am or sweetheart, it seems to be the Americans who say that most, most of the English men just call us 'hey you' or 'Mrs'! LOL! somethings should never be changed, those Feminists are missing out on the sweet little endearments, nothing wrong with them, great to see you as always, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi Miz, oh thank goodness, someone who agrees with me! lol! yes! that is the truest words! where is our privacy? we are not perfect people and we say things without thinking, and as for the curvy remark what the heck was wrong with that? its getting silly isn't it? thanks, nell


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi Les Trois, yes that is the wrong and nasty side of it, when its like this it is really frustrating and wrong, thanks so much for reading, nell


mrpopo profile image

mrpopo 2 years ago from Canada

Great Hub Nell! And these comments are refreshing to see.

I find there's been a recent phenomenon of playing victim and taking advantage of modern society's extreme political correctness in order to advance or even create a career. Suey Park, Anita Sarkeesian and Zoe Quinn have received overwhelming support in such a manner, and they're often artificially creating cases of sexism to further their agenda. These stories are fascinating, if a bit discouraging to see. That's not to say that there are no cases of sexism even in Western society, but when you have to go out of your way to invent sexism when it isn't there...well, it becomes a cause for concern.

Unfortunately, the modern take of feminism can involve the stifling of any opinion that disagrees with their own (for instance, claiming that inviting someone over for a cup of coffee at 4 am is sexual harassment). It makes it harder to take their opinions seriously and detracts the conversation from issues involving real sexism.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

I totally agree with you mrpopo, it seems that men and of course women too can't open their mouths these days without being accused of sexism, genderism and so on, these girls as you say are making it bad for everybody else, nell


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 2 years ago from Dallas, Texas

Good points, Nell Rose, about the range of political correctness that has us all frightened to speak our minds. In the workplace, the pendulum has swung a bit far in the opposite direction from where it was in the seventies, when I remember a lot of inappropriate remarks, gestures, and treatment tossed about in the workplace. There is a fine line that is drawn. Today's workers have to take courses in sexual harassment and diversity training to stay informed. At the larger companies, even giving a woman a double take can be deemed inappropriate.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 2 years ago from England Author

Hi Peg, yes its gone completely the other way hasn't it? There has to be a balance otherwise people are going to be too scared to open their mouths, thanks again for reading, nell

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