Shadow in the Sun
I put down my pride for you. I put it down, and I walked away. How much less of me can there be than what I have become? Scary when I think of what the answer to that question may be. Scary because I am at the very center of this whole process. I let you do this to me . . .
I am shadow though I stand in the blinding sun. How can I be this hollow? I am a tiny fragment of my former self, and all that is visible is the thin outer layer. I am buried in the folds of a flower blossoming with a thousand petals. I call that flower love. I love you, I love you, I love you so much that I have buried myself inside of you.
Why is there no logic, nor indisputable argument, which can tear me away from you? Without you, nothing makes sense. I disappear into the shadow that is me. I am love living in darkness, and playing over and again in my mind is ~isn’t that where love is needed most? I comfort myself with that particular thought as if I will find all manner of justification for this torture which I have allowed to become my life. Love cannot be explained, and I don’t believe that it cares to be explained. The heart purely understands and accepts love. My head lives on a different plane. The two shall never meet. They speak different languages, neither of which translates into the other.
There is nothing more beautiful than to be folded inside of a flower called love. I am immersed in the glory that is you, and I see you in a way that no other can possibly fathom. Still, I cannot deny that loving you in darkness leaves me hollow. A love that is hidden never sees the sun. I exist on the line where the sun meets shadow ~ I am neither here, nor there. And it is no matter . . . because I cannot give you up.
© 2012 Bella Nina
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To be in the midst of a tormented love affair is to run naked in an endless thunderstorm. It is to be so exposed at your core that you exist on the love alone.