Signs He's In Denial
Does your guy friend feel absolutely zilch for you, or he is simply refusing to acknowledge what's in front of him? Here's how to tell.
1. He's mean to you.
- He threatens to turn your beloved cat into a tea cozy and calls you "mental" just for the fun. He's sarcastic and overly critical, and he jokes about your appearance any chance he gets. He is also exteremly cranky; in fact, he's often in such a foul mood around you that in the few times he shows up all happiness and rainbows, you automatically start to wonder what is wrong with him.
- Teenage boys, especially the ones who are only beginning to come to terms with that universal phenomenon called "Liking Someone", are not yet programmed to be all sweet and lovey - dovey. And so they, go back to their pre-pubescent, playground roots - pulling yout pigtails, calling you names, and telling everyone you have cooties - with the added complication of hormones and mood swings and all that cheerful stuff. A worf of caution: If he's mean to eveyone, and if his jokes are borderline cruel, he's probably just a bullying jerk.
2. He's irrationally protective.
- A guy who openly likes you will usually be honest about his jealousy over other dudes - or at least artciulate it in some form. He will also be able to explain why he isn't so keen on the idea of you spending time with thihs other guy. These reasons include, but are not limited to: he's sleazy, he's weird, he's a player, or he's a total heartbreaker. It can even be as vague as, "I just don't trust that guy," or "He makes me want to punch someone in the face." But if he gets mad at you for hanging out with that super cute musician or that sexy, mysterious Quidditch star "for no reason at all," you might have a bad case of Denial - it is in yout hands. Naturally, a guy who refuses to admit his feelings for you will refuse to admit his jealousy. It's frustating. We know.
3. He gets too defensive.
- You're not bad looking at all - and it's not just your mother who's telling you this. But when you and your boy bud are out together and a common friend happens to spot the two of you, he moves about eight feet away. And when this common friend gets close enough to raise his eyebrows repeatedly, make kissing noises, and ask if you are on a date, your boy bud has a ready emphatic, petulant response: "Of course not. Yuuuck!"
- As a general rule, a normal, decent, platonic guy friend would stop at the first sentence. The two-syllable yuck, offensive and derogatory as it may seem, usually means the complete opposite. So don't feel bad - it's not you, it's him.
The whole business of identifying denial can be bit tricky, but the aftermath is quite simple: Let him simmer in his own stew of defense mechanisms for as long as he needs to. Be patient, be his friend, and be the bigger person as he figures out whether to man up or move on. He'll get there, it'll just take a while.
Source: Candy Philippines 2011, (Maria Miniano)
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