Signs That You Desperately Need Some Self-Confidence

When I was turning three, Frank Gifford, Kathie Lee's husband, had experienced his biggest season playing for the New York Giants when he won the MVP Award and carried the Giants to the National Football League title over the highly-favored Chicago Bears.


I bet that you also didn't know that Gifford played both offense and defense, a rare sight when there was platoon football after World War II.


I said all of that to say this. What "one" thing, ability, or characteristic, enabled Frank Gifford to achieve his "lion's share" of greatness in his pro-football days? One thing. Confidence. That was it. Confidence in himself, his coaches, and team.


And that same quiet confidence served Gifford again when he asked Kathy Lee then-Epstein for "a" date. I would have given fifty-two bucks to been invisible and witness this historic event.


Needless to say that I personally think that Frank Gifford alone, for all of his athletism and accomplishments is arguably "the" most-blessed man in America, but having a goddess like Kathie Lee for a wife, what else can I add to sell this point to you?


While I adore Kathy Lee unapologetically, it’s Frank whom I respect for being a “real” man. A confident man. Sadly, I have never been described as either, a “real” man or confident man.


But all is not lost. Over the dark and depressing years, I have devoted and channeled that “dark” energy into a study of why people (like me) fail at so many things in life. The results (that you will read momentarily) are astounding.


The sole area of pain, failure and shame that comes to timid men such as myself, is plain. A pure lack of self-confidence. Until a week or so ago, I didn’t know how to recognize the “Signs That You (and I) Desperately Need Self-Confidence,” which is the title of today’s story.


To those among us, man or woman, who is plagued with low amounts of self-confidence, please read and see if “you” are one of the millions who could benefit greatly from being like Frank Gifford, a “real” man, a confident man.

CLASSIC CASE: of Low Self-Confidence

This poor guy started to get out of bed and forgot how.
This poor guy started to get out of bed and forgot how. | Source

(Starting BELOW) Kathie Lee and Frank Gifford, are Images of Poor Self-Confidence

Frank Gifford, a "real" man, a confident man.
Frank Gifford, a "real" man, a confident man.
(from left) the lovely Kathie Lee Gifford, goddess- wife of Frank Gifford and Frank in tux.
(from left) the lovely Kathie Lee Gifford, goddess- wife of Frank Gifford and Frank in tux.
"OH, HOW I WISH THAT MY WIFE WOULD SHOW ME HOW TO MASTER THIS SPOON."
"OH, HOW I WISH THAT MY WIFE WOULD SHOW ME HOW TO MASTER THIS SPOON." | Source
THIS SAD SOUL HAS NO FRIENDS TO DRINK BEER WITH BECAUSE BEER CAUSES HIM TO  SHAKE WITH FEAR.
THIS SAD SOUL HAS NO FRIENDS TO DRINK BEER WITH BECAUSE BEER CAUSES HIM TO SHAKE WITH FEAR. | Source
"SOMEDAY MY BIG BREAK WILL COME, WHEN I GET SOME SELF- CONFIDENCE."
"SOMEDAY MY BIG BREAK WILL COME, WHEN I GET SOME SELF- CONFIDENCE." | Source
NO DATE? THAT'S BECAUSE YOU DO NOT SHOW ANY SELF- CONFIDENCE.
NO DATE? THAT'S BECAUSE YOU DO NOT SHOW ANY SELF- CONFIDENCE. | Source
THIS PRETTY DAMSEL JUST LIES AROUND ALL DAY BECAUSE SHE IS FEARFUL OF REAL LIFE.
THIS PRETTY DAMSEL JUST LIES AROUND ALL DAY BECAUSE SHE IS FEARFUL OF REAL LIFE. | Source
THIS POOR GUY CANNOT EAT FOR BEING AFRAID OF THE FORKS.
THIS POOR GUY CANNOT EAT FOR BEING AFRAID OF THE FORKS. | Source

YOU KNOW YOU DESPERATELY NEED SELF-CONFIDENCE WHEN . . .

You enter a swimming contest and you notice (on the roster), another swimmer is named, "Bob Swimmer," and you suddenly grow terrified of losing and tell the judges you are through.

You ask a gorgeous girl out on a date while dining in a fine restaurant, and she simply says, "be ready in a minute. I have to visit the ladies room," and you leave, thinking that she is seeking a way of escaping you.

You are so prone to losing, and defeatism, you start signing checks and important documents, "Tom T. Loser."

You confide in your priest that you think God made you a loser because He created so many winners on earth. As you leave the confessional booth, the sound of your priest laughing like a hyena burns into your heart.

You walk up to vicious dogs and say, "go ahead! Get it over with! Bite the fire out of my tender shin!"

You always look for strangers to help you place a dollar bill into the change machine due to you thinking that machines in 2012 are secretly-programmed to spot losers and keep their dollar bills.

In grade school and high school, you never got to lead any group anywhere. You were so used to being last (thanks to no self-confidence), your classmates tormented you by naming you, "Larry Last Place," which would have been fine, but your name is "Bob."

You and your frat brothers plan this huge "kegger" party and you are so terrified of getting sick on non-alcoholic beer that you sneak in a jug of apple juice to put into your glass. But even that doesn't work because you discover you are allergic to apples.

You are asked by your first employer, "did you graduate college, son?" You answer, "you bet I did. I was "last" in my class and I was surely-proud of them "C's!"

You try for a year to ask your now-wife, for a date, just like your idol, Frank Gifford, but she is turned-off by your sweat-soaked shirt and thinks you are a pervert and has you locked-up.

After another year, out of sheer pity, "Margie Gene," marries you and doesn't tell you that she has four kids by four other men.

When your two buddies visit you to watch the Super Bowl, "they" cheer loudly with your wife and you stay quiet for the last time you cheered for a team, you choked on a Dorito chip and had to be taken to the ER.

You find it difficult to walk to the end of your sidewalk to get the morning paper, for being scared of the neighborhood bullies, ages, six and nine.

When you and "Margie Gene" were dating, you took her to a county fair and automatically volunteered to stick your head through the hole at the "Pie Throwing Booth." The manager of the booth said, "you are a great loser, Larry Laughing Stock."

You believe with all of your heart, your only male friend, "Jim," who advises you to go skydiving with him. You are "jacked," and excited. But little do you know that "Jim" has sold you out for cash and tells you NOT to wear a parachute, but "do it like a real man, and just float on the air." Your hospital bill run nearly $67,000.00.

Your self-confidence is so low, that you "hire" an area gigolo, "Sanchez Gomez," to take your place in bed with your wife when she wants to make love. You should be happy for she has yet to complain.

Your self-confidence has taken such a toll on your self-image that your four kids (by four other men) refer to you as "Hobo Hal." Your wife joins them in making fun of you.

You have a perfect attendance record at work. And when it comes time to accept your company's gold watch for 20 years devoted service, your boss growls, "who are you, and what kind of sick joke is this?" as "you" reach for the watch.

You have to have your yearly check-up, but only meet with frustration because your family physician declares you "D.O.A.," no pulse.

You have to sit and wait with the blood pressure cuff on your arm and watch your doctor, "Dr. Harry York," make-out with your wife--IN THE WAITING ROOM while the other sick people applaud his skills on pleasing a woman.

You are constantly-tormented by teenage nightmares on the "fights" you lost against your school days rivals and you were always told by these low-lives, "save us the trouble and beat yourself in the face with your fists," and you did. Your teacher, who was no longer sorry for you, took you to the principal and you were sent home for "starting trouble."

You remember one sad event at your office when the C.E.O, made a surprise visit one day and said this to you, "see this baseball? Catch it and win a prize of $5,000.00," and he was standing only three-feet from you and pitched the ball underhanded to you and you hit the floor and covered your head in fear.

You have no photos of your wife or kids on your desk because they are all ashamed of you. Just you. Not your numerous failures due to no self-confidence, but you. And in time, you have grew accustomed to your wife and children's photos being on the "office ladies man's" desk. You think, "George isn't a bad guy, and him sleeping with different women doesn't really make him a whore monger--even when he's in bed with my wife. Does it?"

You seek out area burglars and take them samples of your valuables you keep in a safe in your home. You think "why wait? Get it over with."

In your military service DAY, the drill sergeant used YOU as a bayonet dummy. That explains all of the scars on your frail body.

And the final sign that a person suffers from low self-confidence is the fact

that they cannot fin . . .

THIS POOR GIRL: Longing to be a movie star

But she can only look at the movie posters and dream thanks to her low self-confidence.
But she can only look at the movie posters and dream thanks to her low self-confidence. | Source

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Comments 28 comments

writinglover profile image

writinglover 3 years ago from Lost...In Poetry

Funny, as usual, and as for the very last reason...if the drill sergeant doesn't get me, it's probably going to be a dysfunctional Lois Lane/Poison Ivy--that's only if I don't have my yellow lasso, that is.


picklesandrufus profile image

picklesandrufus 3 years ago from Virginia Beach, Va

How do you come up with this material!?!??! Enjoyable read, still smiling!


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 3 years ago from Deep South, USA

Frank Gifford, as an example of superior confidence, is an interesting choice, Kenneth. Frank obviously had plenty of self-confidence (maybe too much), which backfired on him in the late '90s when he cheated on Kathie Lee with a pretty flight attendant, photos were taken, and a major sex scandal hit the media. Kathie Lee was publicly embarrassed, but ultimately decided to "stand by her man", ostensibly for the sake of their two children. (I wonder if she ever regretted that decision, but I don't watch her on TV so I don't know.)

Your examples of poor self-esteem showcase your vivid imagination and sense of humor. That last partial line ("They don't fin...") was the perfect ending!

Jaye


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 3 years ago from San Francisco

Don'r worry. I won't tell anyone I read this. People may hold you responsible for my egotism. :))


Gypsy Rose Lee profile image

Gypsy Rose Lee 3 years ago from Riga, Latvia

You have a good sense of humor. You are so right. Sometimes people really need a jolt of self-confidence.


lupine profile image

lupine 3 years ago from Southern California (USA)

That is the key to accomplishments, self-confidence! I have known people who have so much self-confidence, they go out and do things they know nothing about, and tell stories and laugh about it later. They can't even believe they did it...but other people don't know that. For those who are lacking...they will just have to live with it. Good subject Kenneth...once again it's your imagination at work, on an ordinary day.


catgypsy profile image

catgypsy 3 years ago from the South

Love your off beat wild imagination Kenneth! Very funny!

But I have to agree with JayeWisdom about your choice of Frank Gifford!


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 3 years ago

Another funny post that is right on with some points! Self-confidence is something we all deal with some times.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear writinglover,

Thank you for the sweet comment that GAVE me, Superman, oops, confidence. No kidding. And I pity the drill sergeant if he picks on you with or without your lasso, and about a jealously-enraged Lois, well, she is over 21, (way over), and makes her own choices, and picking on YOU, a terrible choice.


writinglover profile image

writinglover 3 years ago from Lost...In Poetry

I would agree. *throws a few air punches and a few air kicks*


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear picklesandrufus,

Thanks for your inquiry about where does this material come from? Looking in my mirror and over my past years of life. This WAS ME in this story. I wasnt given any confidence at home by my dad, but my mom encouraged me like crazy.

And THE source of my copy is God. Yes, God. I always give thanks for my followers on hubs and ask Him to give me the stories that YOU all would like.

And He never fails.

Thanks, dear friend.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

@ writinglover . . .I love it when you do air kicks . . .you are so athletic. Why didnt you ever tell me that you could jump like that? I am totally-mesmerized. But please, do not air punch me, or my steel jaw might hurt your hand.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Jaye,

And thanks for a very insightful comment. You are correct. Frank DID hurt Kathy Lee. That jerk! If she were my wife, I might smother her with affection and adoration, but NOT cheat. Frank was NOT thinking. And that Kathy Lee, yes, she made a tough decision to stand by him. What a woman.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hey, MHatter99,

Thank you for this confidence. And I didnt know you had an ego because all of your comments are warm, caring and selfless. Just like you. And no, fellow followers, MHatter did NOT send me a huge check for writing this.


writinglover profile image

writinglover 3 years ago from Lost...In Poetry

@ kenneth/superman. I'll try not to punch you. As for my jumping abilities, I just recently discovered completly by accident. I was crossing the street when someone ran a red light and, totally on instinct, I jumped rather high. Took me by surprise.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Gypsy Rose Lee,

I agree with your comment. People do need a jolt of self-confidence. In my past stupid days, I relied on alcohol for my self-confidence. Can you say, "DUMB?" That only works when you can out-talk your crowd. I do need a jolt of self-confidence in all honesty, for I do not trust myself at all.

Thanks, dear Gypsy, for supporting what I write.

Love ya,

KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, writinglover,

Wheeeew, thanks! I would hate it for your soft, dainty fists to land on my steel chin. And as for your cat-like jumping skills, I admire them. Oh, were you writinglover or Wonder Woman when you jumped over the car?

Careful, sweetie, or you might reveal whom you really are.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, Lupine,

You are also correct. I have know a few people like you describe. People who just "jump into" an arena of something they aren't familiar with and bam, they are good at it.

I wasnt one of these.

And thank you for this and all of your warm comments. Come back and visit with me anytime you like.


writinglover profile image

writinglover 3 years ago from Lost...In Poetry

Unfortunately, I got a little careless. Thankfully, it was late at night when it happened so no one else was around.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dear Catgypsy,

Thank you kindly, for your sweet words that I deeply-appreciate. I am in agreement with you and Jaye, Frank Gifford has arguably the best-looking woman on earth for a wife and yet, somehow, years ago, he decided she wasn't "lighting his fire," so to speak, but I judge no man. What he and Kathy Lee decided are twixt them.

Thanks, catgypsy, for being a terrific writer and friend.

Peter sends you a kiss and Festus a wink at Honey!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

@ writinglover,

What a relief! And I am thankful that you WERE NOT in your Wonder Woman costume complete with tiara. That would have been trouble for the thugs and punks who tried to put a move on you. Thank Zeus I am friends with a princess of Amazonia, but herself, NOT an Amazon.

How do I know this? Remember, I have X-ray vision.


writinglover profile image

writinglover 3 years ago from Lost...In Poetry

Like you said, "Thank Zeus!"


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Greetings, Teaches12345,

Thank you, dear friend, for your reading of this hub and comment. Both are deeply-appreciated. I deal with my LACK of self-confidence a lot. But at my age now, I really do not need a lot of confidence for I am not in public at all.

And us hermits rely on our sense of direction and habit to maneuver around the house.

Have a sweet day, Teaches.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

@ writinglover,

Yes, that is true, but before I go, promise me that IF you ever need MY help some dark night and you are out-numbered, just yell and I will come-a flying to rescue you. I mean it.

And I will also buy you a slice of lo-cal (not that you need it), coconut pie with a health milk shake made from NON-Dairy products.

See there? I know how to treat a Wonder Woman.


writinglover profile image

writinglover 3 years ago from Lost...In Poetry

I will!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 3 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

@ writinglover,

Good girl. Errr, I mean "woman," a "WONDER-ful" woman.


writinglover profile image

writinglover 3 years ago from Lost...In Poetry

And you are Super, Man.


Kenneth Avery 3 years ago

@ writinglover . . .(blushing), awwww. Thank you, for those "WONDERful words," my WONDER of a WOMAN friend. (Notice how I typed this encrypted as to not give away your secret identity?)

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